Philip Jeremy Moyer Imagination, Unlimited in association with Offthetopofmyhead Writer's Guild presents A Wam-Andrew Coproduction Of An ASCII/BINARY Film SERENDIPITY (part 1) Written By Philip Jeremy Moyer With Trevor W. Schadt --- CAST --- (In Order Of Appearance) Gordo ................................................... Gordo Edwards Rufus ..................................................... Rufus Brown Aerianne .............................................. Aerianne Connor Philip ............................................ Philip Jeremy Moyer Korzon ..................................................... King Gleep Ray ........................................................ Ray Rabbit Petty ............................................ General Larson Petty Deeds ..................................... Daniel Dukke (that's 'duk') Ferdy ................................................ Ferdinand V. Fox Trevor ............................................... Trevor W. Schadt Sloop ........................................................... Sloop Wyndi .................................................. Wyndi Anderson Rebecca ................................................. Rebecca Dodds Peter ................................................. Peter DeGlopper James .................................................... James Rogers Galen ............................................... Galen Silversmith Horse ................................................... Edward Deemon Shaggy ......................................................... Shaggy Charley ................................................ Charles Raptor Emmy ................................................... Emerson Raptor Winnie .............................................. Winchester Raptor Mommy ...................................................... Mary Moyer Christopher ......................................... Christopher Moyer Daddy ...................................................... Paul Moyer --- Guest Appearances By --- Fred ....................................................... Superroach Tigris ..................................... Emperor Tigris sel Ratharg HalfFlat ................................. sam@iagu.itd.adelaide.edu.au Gryphon .......................................... Benjamin D. Hutchins Sinapus ............................................... Patrick Chester Scanner ..................................................... Eric Luce Ryouko ................................................. Danielle Scott PCKitsune ................................................. Martin Rose Shogun ....................................... Lord Mike Tatsugawa-sama Xaemyl ................................................. Raa Amon Zepol LF ...................................................... Franklin Wang CMU Student ........................................ A. Passing Student Shawn .................................................... Shawn Knight Ann ....................................................... Ann Kopchik Arch ..................................................... Arch Moberly Charley ................................................... Raptor Bait Joy ...................................................... Joy Weismann BJ ..................................................... BJ TE Freshman Spud ......................................... Johnathan Q. Peabody III Jim ...................................................... Jim Hooligan Mrs. Wiz ............................................... Anne Wisnewski Kevin ....................................................... Kevin Yeh Jeff ................................................... Jeff Hostetler Aaron ................................................ Aaron Greenhouse -- With -- The performing talents of ERASABLE, INC. --- Credits --- Based On An Original (?) Concept and Story By Philip Moyer Special Effects By Damage, Inc. Costumes by Various Closets And Drawers, Etc. Hair Styling by Olympian Barbers and Fire-Water-Air-Earth Styling Salon Vehicles by TechieThings And LargeMechas Ltd. Dinosaurs provided by International Genetics, Inc. Dinosaur Handling courtesy of Michael Crichton Stuntwork by MacCleod Stunts, Inc. Sets built by the students of THET 170 Lighting by the staff of Tawes Theatre Music by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Vocals by Rockapella Research By Freidman Associates Story Editing and General Comments by The D-Hall Group and the wonderful folks at #Eyrie Storyboarding by the Closet Of Comics Film Crew provided by the folks at channel U62 Video Editing by The Flagship Channel Projection Services by the Hoff Theatre Mutagen courtesy of Eastman and Laird Hellicott Hall characters created by Eric L. Dunn Daniel Dukke and Ferdinand Fox characters created by John Staton Captain Jim characters created by Dan Sandler Smirk(tm) is a licensed trademark of Eyrie Productions, Uninc. Evil/Maniacal Grins(tm) are licensed trademarks of TCS PRODUCTIONS, LIMITED All Poems of the Day are (c) 1990-1994 by The Poem of the Day Foundation Telly Monster courtesy of Martin P. Robinson and CTW IRC Transcript for #anime! on 9/21/93 was provided by CUT'N'PASTE Archival Services Published by Magnetic Terrapin Studios, ErasInc. Some portions of this film were shot on location in the Bajoran Wormhole. We would like to thank the Bajoran Provisional Government and the crew of Deep Space Nine for the use of their facilities. DISCLAIMER: _Some_, but not _all_ of the Characters exist. _Some_, but not _all_ of the events happened. We have confidence that you can determine which is which. story copyright (c) 1993-1994 by Philip Jeremy Moyer ---Acknowledgments--- Philip: Dedicated (and Thanks) To: My Mom: For putting up with me, and encouraging me to be *Me*! (And for shuttling me back & forth to UM when I didn't want to take the bus) My Dad: For letting me use the Citation, for the late night talks, for the support, and for listening. My friends at Blair: For putting up with me as I described the story (again and again and again and again and again....) To Jeff, Kevin, and Aaron: "You can step into the same river twice, but you cannot lead a fish to ride a bicycle." -- Rev. Xmos You guys know what I mean ;) To the original writers of _Undocumented Features_: for making my first year of college a much more fun one than it might have been, and showing me that imagination is a thing to be shared! (It's all YOUR fault!! ;) To the gang on #Eyrie and #anime!: Thanks for showing interest! I'm glad to see there'll be _some_ audience for this thing... To Jim Henson: "That's the way it is around this place. The fantasy always wins." -- Jim Henson You will be missed. To anyone else: "I write because I am personally amused by what I do, and if other people are amused by it, then it's fine. If they're not, then that's also fine." -- Frank Zappa But most of all: To Aerianne. Trevor: I would like to thank the following people for their support. The mediums in which they delivered it may have varied, but all were important. -My parents, for teaching me to respect skill in all its various forms; -Philip, for giving me the chance to be part of this long, strange trip; -All my ex-girlfriends (especially the ones featured in this story) for dealing with me when I was being insane; -Susan and Becky, for helping me to finally make a decision in my life :); -All those people (too numerous to list here) who stood by me and supported me when I was at my lowest points; -Ann, Lynne, Arch, Christa, Marybeth, Jonah, Pam, Dave, Ray, Chala, Tracy, Renee, Argo, and Michael, for making me feel a part of something bigger than myself; -Shawn, the older version of myself, for teaching me so much about life and all its hidden secrets; -Joshua and whoever my other guide is, for looking out for me from the other side of the mirror. ser-en-dip-i-ty \-'dip-et-eE\ n [fr. its possession by the heroes of the Persian fairy tale "The Three Princes of Serendip"] (1754) :the faculty of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for -- Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, First Digital Edition 1) --- Just Passing Through ------------------------------------------- "What are you?" -- Entity to Cmdr. Sisco There were no definitions in the void. There was no such thing as time or space in that space between dimensions. Everything was of thought and of the mind. The beings that existed there, if there even was a "there" to begin with, lived in a state of pure communication, pure oneness. If there was individuality in the void, it could never be perceived as such, since any one thought was echoed to all the others. How long the void had existed was a moot point, since the passage of time in the void was variable. A second could pass in a thousand years, and an eternity in a moment. Others entered the void at times, but their passage was not worth noticing to the dwellers. Their entrances and exits did not have any effect on the beings of the void. They continued in their existence, not noticing, not perceiving, just _being_. Until now. <<>> A flash of non-light and a burst of non-sound heralded the entrance of the newcomers. This type of event had happened many times in the void's non-history. For many of the dwellers, distanced by time or space from the newcomers' entrance, this was nothing new, nothing old; just another passage through the unperceivable void. For others, relatively closer to the event, this time was different. <@Eh, What are they?@> thought one of the entities. <#We do not know. These are...different,#> responded another. <$They are strange. We do not like them,$> commented. <%Check ourselves, this bears observing,%> added a fourth. <$Oh, very well.$> <#Examine this one. It...No, "HE"!#> observed the second. <#This is a "He"!#> <@A "He"? Amazing! A sense of difference! Perceive this!@> %Strange. Although they communicate with one another, they are also individuals.% <#That is unusual. Wait a moment!#> # reached into the mind of one of the travellers. The information found there truly surprised #. <#This one is not just an individual. It is aware of itself as an individual! It has self- definition!#> <@%Incredible!%@> the two entities chorused. <$Hmmph. We don't understand what you are getting so engrossed about,$> commented $. <@Oh, be still.@> Meanwhile, % examined the traveller that # had made contact with. <%Strange. They have a self image. They also use communication to define themselves. They are aware of differences among themselves, and assign identifiers to themselves and to others.%> <#This one here has several definitions...This one calls itself...Brian Bikowicz...MegaZone...Zoner?#> <%Multiple identifiers for a single individuality. Strange.%> <@These others also have multiple identifiers. One of them is identified as Robert Mandeville or ReRob.@> <%This other one is defined by either Ben Hutchins or Gryphon.%> <$Stop this at once!$> sent $ frantically. <@#%Huh?@#%> replied the others in unison. <#Why?#> <$These are things that we should not concern ourselves with!$> <@But what is the problem with acquiring information?@> <$It will change us! Ruin our oneness!$> <%Well, I see nothing wrong-%> <$There! THERE! You used a concept that we have never experienced before! "I"! The change has already begun!$> <@But in any instance, the "damage" has already been done. We _have_ made contact.@> <$You will regret it!$> <%Oh, be silent, $.%> $ stewed in silence. @, #, and % returned their attentions to the three travellers. <%There is something else odd about these individuals. They have a sense of "direction".%> <#What do you mean by that?#> <%I mean that they have a sense of progression from one location to the next. They "left" a location, and are now "going" to a place they do not recognize. They also have a sense of the movement of time, used to perceive this progression.%> <@That is bizarre. I would like to learn more about this "individualness" and this "direction".@> <#May I accompany you?#> <@%That is acceptable.%@> At about this time, $ noticed that the three travellers were nearing the end of their journey. <$Well,$> it said smugly, <$It would seem that you will not find out. They are leaving!$> @, %, and # reacted. <@We must follow them!@> <%Hurry!%> <#Wait for me!#> @, %, and # gathered their energies to begin the dimensional crossing. <$No, I forbid this!$> <%We don't have much time!%> @, %, and # gave chase to the three travellers. $, in trying to convince them to stop this nonsense, got caught up by accident in the energy vortex created by @, #, and %. Various other dwellers in the void also became caught up in the energy needed for the crossing, as the three entities passed them in pursuit of their quarry. ReRob, Gryphon, and Zoner, the three travellers, approached the end of their journey. <@They are getting away!@> <%We can't afford to lose them!%> <$You don't know what you're doing!$> <#Hurry!#> With a flash on non-light and non-sound, the three visitors began to exit the void. <@#%NOW!!!%#@> <$NOOOO!!!$> @,#, and % focused their combined energies on the point of exit. The resulting puncture in the void caused the three entities to be sucked through the opening, taking with them $, as well as the other void entities who had been either caught up in the energy vortex of @, #, and % or who had been near the point of exit. With a flash of non-light and a burst of non-sound, they left the void. Unfortunately for them, they had left the void a few seconds to the right of their desired exit. 2) --- Exit 25: College Park ------------------------------------------ "We are glad you have chosen UMCP!" -- 1992-93 Orientation Staff "Whaddya mean, CHOSEN? It's the only place I could GET!!" -- J. Random Student WENDSDAY, JUNE 16, 1993 It was yet another fine summer's day that faced the University of Maryland at College Park. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and the breeze that blew across the campus refreshed everyone who was touched by it. The sun brightened the many Georgian columns of the buildings, causing them to almost blind students who weren't wearing sunglasses. Students walked unhurried towards their summer session classes, or sat in the shade doing their homework, or just laid on the campus mall getting a tan. Every once in a while an orientation group would walk by, the soon-to-be freshmen being led by a tour guide. Others, shunning the moderate heat of the day, chose instead to perform their tasks inside the many air-conditioned buildings. Some of them performed research in the large libraries, while others decided to log on in any number of WAM or GLUE labs dotted about campus. With a sound not unlike a small cough, three people appeared out of thin air in one of the WAM labs. Not that anybody noticed. They were all engrossed in their monitors. The first of the new arrivals was a tall man. He wasn't overtly muscular, but one look at him would give you a feeling that to cross this man would not be a good idea. He observed the room with a hint of amusement, taking in the rows of computers, and wondering what would cause so many people to be oblivious to their sudden appearance. He wore a red U of MD tee-shirt and jeans, and his brown, unkempt hair went down his back in a ponytail. The second arrival was shorter than the first. He too was male, but he was thinner than the first, and he didn't seem to have the brute physical ability of the taller one. He had more of an inquisitive look to him, and the eyes behind his glasses glanced about, taking in the IBMs, Macs, and NeXTstations that filled the lab. His short, blond hair barely moved in the air conditioner induced breeze. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his green tinted lab coat, which hung open, revealing his thin green striped shirt and his black jeans. The third arrival was most definitely female. She was about middle height compared to the two others. Her bright red hair trailed down her back freely, stopping right after the waist, and was secured with a shiny blue hair clip. She wore a light blue tank top, and dark blue jean shorts. Blue sandals on her feet completed her ensemble. She glanced about the room with a sense of wonderment, taking in everything. A small smile of amazement played across her face. If anyone had been looking at them when they appeared, they would have said that the strangers in their midst were almost physically perfect. Soon after that, they would have most likely have proposed marriage to any one of the three, depending on their preferences. However, since everyone in the lab was still "involved" with the computers, these events did not happen. Instead, the three arrivals just stood and watched, taking in everything, and especially observing the student in front of them, intently typing away on a NeXTstation. 3) --- First Impressions ---------------------------------------------- "Humina, Humina, Humina!" -- Telly Monster Actually, Philip Moyer wasn't _typing_ away at the computer. He was, however, very intent in his computer, reading. He did that a lot, reading the news, sending email, and downloading stuff. His interests ranged all over the net, from Rec.arts.startrek.current to Alt.tv. muppets. He had also recently taken an interest in Rec.arts.anime and it's subgroups, which had been triggered by the downloading, printing, and reading of the Undocumented Features saga. , Philip thought. With that thought, Philip continued to read the news and the speculations on the TNG cliffhanger's ending. Would Lore and Data become one? Would the Borg led by Lore turn out to be renegade Borg, who would be stopped by Hugh and the rest of the Borg? The possibilities were staggering. Then he thought, Philip thought with a smile. He continued to read the news, occasionally switching to another window to look up a book or edit some text. In a little while, he would be going to the library to do some xeroxing of some campus newspapers for the comics that were within; but for now, he was just killing time. Feeling a little bit tired, he leaned back and stretched his arms, closing his eyes as he did so. He pushed away from the terminal with his legs, and totally by accident hit something. It wasn't the wall. On first touch, Philip could tell that it was solid, and warm, and apparently covered with cloth. Unsure of what had happened, Philip opened his eyes. Looking down on him (upside down from his point of view) was a teenage girl with a bemused smile on her face. A quick glance to the right and to the left revealed to Philip that she was accompanied by two humans of the male persuasion. And taking into account where his fists had landed on the girl behind him, Philip did what any 100% red-blooded American boy would have done. He panicked. "Um..er.aae...e...yt.y.r..ew.rwe." With these oh-so-literate words, Philip spun his chair around so he could see the three people better. The sight of the three looking at him didn't help his vocabulary any. "Humina! Humina Humina! Humina!" Panic raced through his mind. The guy in red looked like he could give Lt. Worf scare lessons! Pairing that with the hypothesis that the girl next to him was probably his girlfriend, Philip's mind began to theorize on their possible reactions. The majority of them were ones that would involve his being in the medical center for the next couple of days. The three travelers, on their part, just stood there looking at this blathering example of humanity. The girl in blue, sensing an opportunity, cut in with a hesitant and caring "Excuse me?" At about this time, Philip finally remembered that the language that he spoke was English. That didn't help much. "OhmigodOhmigodI'msosorryIdidn'tmeantohityoutherehonestIwasjust- stretchingbackandIhityoubyaccidentandIdidn'tknowyouwerethereI'msorry- Ididn'tmeanitPleasedon'tkillme!" "Calm down," she said, soothingly. "We aren't about to kill you," said the girl, coming closer to Philip in an effort to calm him down. However, it did not seem to have the desired effect, as Philip continued to babble in an ever increasing stream of speech. The girl decided to try a different tack. Kneeling down, she came in close to Philip's blathering face and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. This action did have the desired effect. It did quiet him down. But that was because Philip Moyer had passed out. Philip awoke slowly, unaware of what had just happened. He slowly pulled himself upright in his chair and looked around his terminal fuzzily. he wondered to himself, rubbing his eyes. He turned his chair around, and began to get up. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, and he turned to get a better view. He saw the girl standing there, with a small smile on her face, just looking at him. "Oh, boy..." he said. The memory of what had just happened to him a few seconds before rushed back into clarity. "Oh my god..." Philip sat back down and looked up at the three people in front of him. "I can't believe I just made a fool of myself!" he thought out loud. The green one spoke for the first time. "Fascinating. He is capable of rational thought. And he has a sense of remorse!" He looked closely at Philip. Philip, for his part, just wondered what the heck he was talking about. "If this is an example of what this location has to offer, we are in good hands!" commented the red one. "This is truly a marvelous opportunity!" Philip continued to observe the three people in his midst. They were older than him, that was for sure, although he could not tell exactly how old. , he thought to himself morosely. Then, with a quick glance towards the ceiling, he thought, He returned his attention to the three newcomers. The red one and the green one were currently involved in a discussion of which Philip could make nothing out of what they were saying. He then focused his attention on the girl. She, for her part, had her attention focused on him. He began to blush slightly. thought Philip. Trying to clear his mind and get back on track, he addressed the three people. "'Forgive me for intruding on your conversation,'" he began, "but who are you guys?" The man in red jerked his head up, and looked at Philip intently. "Excuse me?" "Uh...," Philip replied, fumbling, "Who are you?" The red one looked at Philip for a while, and then looked at his comrades. The green one looked confused, while the girl was preoccupied, and didn't return his glance. "Hmm, that is a good question," replied the red one, "since we are not totally sure of that ourselves. However," he continued as he then looked at Philip once more, "I do believe that _you_ can address me as... Gordo." mused Philip. He turned his attention to the man in green, who now looked confused. "And you?" he asked, tentatively. The man looked at himself, glanced over at "Gordo" and the girl for a moment, and then looked at himself again. "I do not recall ever having a--AH!" he exclaimed, startling Philip. "My designation, or 'name' as you might put it, is Rufus. Five letters, two of them the same," answered the green one, "which I must note is the same situation as Gordo's name!" "Quite right, Rufus!" replied Gordo. "And the third member of our company goes by the name of... That's strange... What is your name?" he said, addressing the girl in blue. The girl, apparently just really noticing the other two for the first time, since she had been focusing her attention on Philip, turned to the others and spoke. "I _guess_ my name's Aerianne," she said to them, meeting their eyes for confirmation. "So I guess that's what you can call me. Do you like it?" she asked them. Philip just nodded, which apparently pleased Aerianne, who smiled. Then Gordo spoke again. "I say, sir, do you happen to know where we are?" he said with some concern. "In a computer lab under a parking garage," replied Philip, with some wondering as to why they didn't know this already. "A computer lab," whispered Rufus to himself. "And where is this, 'computer lab'," continued Gordo, "in the grand scheme of things?" "In the middle of campus," answered Philip, now definitely wondering what was going on. "Ah. And what is this 'campus' called?" asked Gordo earnestly. Philip thought to himself. But he continued the strange conversation by saying, "You are currently in the University Of Maryland at College Park, the Flagship Campus of the UMD system, and also, incidentally," he said ruefully, "An institution for higher learning." "Oh!" interjected Rufus. "So this is a place where individuals can go to increase their knowledge of the world around them, and to also develop new theories about the workings of the world? Fascinating!" "Well, yes, but I wouldn't have put it so... analytically." And then as an afterthought, he said, "But then again, you're not me and I'm not you, so you can do it anyway you want to." Rufus thought this over for a moment and then nodded. "I see what you mean. So far my replies have been rather technical. I shall try to curb my natural tendencies when appropriate. Thank you!" he said with a smile. "Of course, it's all your choice," reminded Philip. "Of course." Philip then returned his attention to Gordo, who had been waiting patiently for him. Gordo addressed him. "So, back to where we were. Which is, 'Where are we?'" "You're at UMCP, which is a college, where you learn things about the world," reiterated Philip. "And what if we wanted to 'learn things about the world'? How would we go about it?" "Well, I guess you'd have to apply for membership in the University," he answered, wondering where Gordo was leading him. "And then register for classes, and pay tuition, etcetera blah yackety shmackety," he finished with a smile. "Excellent! Where do we go to register?" "You'll need to go to Mitchell building to get a Summer Session booklet, and a course bulletin, and a Undergrad Catalogue. The Bursar's is in Lee Building." "That is all well and good, but," he said with a trace of sarcasm, "Where are *they*?" After a moment's consideration, Philip unzipped one of the pockets of his backpack, and brought out the campus map that he always carried with him. (He had once been quoted as saying, "Just because I live on campus doesn't mean I know where everything is.") Pointing to several buildings, he indicated, "We are in the basement of this parking garage *here*, and Mitchell building is just down the road _here_. Lee building is on the opposite side of Main Administration from Mitchell building, right *There*. You can ask the people in the buildings themselves if you have any questions about the process. I don't claim to have all the answers when it comes to the bureaucracy." "Thank you," replied Gordo when Philip had finished. "Would it be acceptable if we borrowed this map to find our way around?" "Sure, go ahead! I can always get another." "And if we wanted to get accounts on these 'computers'?" asked Rufus. "Sorry, but you have to be official UMD students in order to have a WAM or GLUE account. Sorry," replied Philip with a shrug and a small smile. "Very well! We thank you for your help," stated Gordo, gathering himself up in preparation for leaving, "and we shall be sure to stay in contact, Mister..." At this, Gordo for once seemed to be at a loss for words. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "But I never found out what your name was!" "Well, my full name is Philip Jeremy Moyer, but you can call me Philip." "Very well, Mr. Moyer! We shall surely meet again." "I guess so." "Farewell!" With that, Gordo, Rufus, and Aerianne left the lab, leaving a still somewhat bewildered Philip in their wake. After a few minutes of silent thought, he logged out of his long-forgotten terminal, gathered up his backpack, his acting notebook, and his umbrella, and left the lab. As he walked back to his car in Lot 1, the only thought that he could glean from his mind was that something strange had just happened. He had no idea how right he was. 4) --- Dangerous Alliances -------------------------------------------- "Wot we gonna do tonight, Brain?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinky; TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD." --Pinky and the Brain THAT NIGHT "Very well. Let's get this meeting started, shall we?" The other figures nodded, and headed towards the single table. The room was dark, and a single light illuminated the table. The figures arranged themselves around the table, and sat down (except for Korzon, who hovered). "I trust you all have read the documents?" The figured gestured towards the stacks of paper on the table with his cigarette holder. The others nodded. "Good. I trust that we will not make the...mistakes that our predecessors did, will we?" The others nodded, although with a bit more caution than before. "Excellent. Now, onto business." With that, the figure with the holder moved the papers to one side, revealing a campus map underneath. "This, my friends, is the University of Maryland, College Park." He paused for a reaction. None was forthcoming. "It is a large campus, holding over 40,000 students. It has over 40 majors, in varying fields and subfields. Also, it is the 'Flagship College' for the entire University of Maryland system. The Campus is top ranked in several majors, and it has ready access to various national institutions and programs due to it's departmental connections and close proximity to the nation's capitol." "Why are you telling us this?" asked a small figure at the end of the table. "Expository Dialogue, Fred," the leader answered. "It has to go somewhere." "Oh." "However, as you can see," as he returned to his speech, "this campus is too big to take over in one climactic action. A single surgical strike will have no effect, since the campus can easily take up the slack of lost people. And an assassination of the campus president or other high- placement figure would just cause an uproar for a few weeks, but then settle down as a new president would be chosen. And things would continue just the same as before." "So. What are our options?" asked a large figure, whose claws tapped on the metal table. "They are few, Tigris, but I believe that we can accomplish them with great success and minimum effort. I mean to clear this campus, of *everyone*, so that we can use it as our staging point for eventual world domination!" "Impressive speech, Ray," commented Petty, "But how do we know that *you* will be successful?" "I can understand your doubt, Petty," Ray said, pointing with his holder, "but not to worry. If we combine our efforts, this campus should fall right into our hands." "Ok. So what are we going to do?" asked Korzon. "Ideally, we shall try to infiltrate the campus and city, and select one of them to be the new campus president and/or mayor. Once he is elected, we can use him or her to declare a campus state of emergency, thereby evacuating the campus, and allowing us to move in." "But what about resistance? We are sure to encounter it," interjected Tigris. "That is an understandable concern, Tigris. However, while we are attempting to undermine the campus bureaucracy, we shall also be taking steps for more...physical means of takeover. The first thing to do is to create an acceptable base of operations. Once that is done, we can staff it and begin our production facilities. Korzon," he said as he pointed with his cigarette holder, "you shall be in charge of the design and construction of the base." "I think I already have a place in mind." "Good. Also, I have a backup plan to make our arguments for evacuation of the campus more...persuasive, should the need arise, and I want you to be in charge of that, also." Korzon nodded (an interesting trick, that.) "Petty and Tigris, I want you two to be in charge of staffing and training. You'll be able to switch off most of your duties, and I believe the College Park airport will be an acceptable staging place for your forces." "I believe that we will be able to devise a method of transport for their vehicles," Korzon interjected. "Good. Also, Tigris, I want you to be in charge of spy operations." "Acceptable," growled Tigris. "What about me?" challenged Fred. "Ah yes. In case of any...unforseen difficulty, we shall call for your special talents. Do not worry, I am sure that you will be called." Fred nodded. "Very well, this meeting is ended. Shall we seal the deal with an evil laugh?" The laughter from the room was deafening. 5) --- Take Two ------------------------------------------------------- "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." -- Advertisement "...Unless you're really lucky. ;)" -- Anonymous THE NEXT DAY THURSDAY JUNE 17, 1993 Philip Moyer walked into PG2. He had just finished his Thet 120 class for the day, and was ready to wile away several hours reading netnews. But, as he walked towards the entrance of the lab, he began to reflect on the previous day's occurances. "Surreal doesn't even do justice to it," he thought out loud. "I never even finished reading r.a.a! *Perhaps* today will be normal." Philip peeked into the lab. "Phew. All clear." Philip walked to a Nextstation and dropped his backpack next to it. Plopping down into a chair, he logged on, and began to read. So intent in reading was he, that he didn't notice three people sit down on both sides of him. Three people who he had only met yesterday... "Excuse me, Mr. Moyer," said Gordo as he handed back the campus map to Philip, "But I believe this is yours?" "Thanks." Philip took the map, and put it back into his backpack. He returned to his reading, until a little something in the back of his head realized that these three sitting next to him were logging *into* the Nextstations, instead of doing a remote login. And what were they doing here, anyway? Philip leaned over and peeked at Gordo's station. Yes, NeXTstep, the operating system for the NeXT's, was booting up on the display. Turning around, he could see Rufus looking at the Workspace Manager, and Aerianne clicking on Nextmail. "Excuse me," said Philip as he turned towards Gordo. "How did you get accounts?" "We registered for classes. That is what you said we needed to do." "Wait..A..Minute.." Philip focused on Gordo directly, trying to get a handle on things. "You just said that you registered for classes, yes?" Gordo nodded, and Philip continued. "I can understand joining a college to gain access to the internet. I mean, even _I_ would do that. But taking *Classes*?! Why would you want to do that?" "Is there anything wrong with it?" countered Gordo. "Well...no..." "Then my point is proven," and smiling, Gordo returned his attention to the Nextstation. "Err, um, yeah...right.." Feeling totally confused, Philip returned to his terminal as well. He tried to get back into the swing of things, but to no avail. His mind was working full stream on the 'problem' of the three visitors, and he sat a while in thought until a tap on his shoulder brought him out of it. Startled, he turned around suddenly and made direct eye contact with the person who had tapped him. In this case, it was Aerianne. "Philip?" Philip's mind scrambled to organize itself, and failed. "Um, er, um, hrmmm?" "Your name *is* Philip?" Seeing an opening, Philip's mind snapped into full gear. "Well, it isn't 'Um, er, um, hrmmm?'!" Aerianne laughed. Heartened, Philip continued. "Yeah, I'm Philip..." Realizing who he was talking to, and what happened yesterday, he decided that right now would be a very good time to apologize. "Umm, about yesterday? Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you there, It's just that I didn't know you were there and I just reached back to stretch and..." "Oh, no, that's ok! Actually, it was kind of funny!" "It was?" Philip was reminded of _Forum_, put it out of his mind, and continued with the slightly surreal conversation. "Ohhkaayy... whatever. Anyway, what was it you wanted to talk about?" "Well, I wanted to ask you..." she said, leaning close to him on his shoulder. "How do you use the NextMailer?" Visibly relaxing, Philip got up and headed over to Aerianne's station. "Here, I'll show you." He sat down in the chair, and Aerianne stood next to him. "Ok, here's what you do..." Falling into his 'teaching newbies about NeXT's' mode, he described and demonstrated the Nextmailer to Aerianne. She paid rapt attention, even when he went into the arcania about the differences between how the NeXT handled mail and how the UNIX system handled it. He even opened up a terminal window to his own account, and mailed a message to Aerianne as an example. Finally, mouth dry, he finished with the demo and relinquished the chair to Aerianne. "Wow, I didn't realize there was so much to learn about this!" "Well, don't worry, I took a while for me to learn it, too. Just keep experimenting, and you'll do fine." "I'm not worried about the time it's going to take. It sounds like fun!" Philip thought. "Well, if you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask!" "Don't worry," she smiled, "I won't!" Trying to restore some sense of normalcy, he returned to his terminal, but it wasn't long until he received a tap on his other shoulder. Turning, he saw Gordo, who asked, "Excuse me, but how do you use the NextMailer?" 6) --- In The Good Old Summertime ------------------------------------- "The friends you make can last a lifetime." -- Anonymous ABOUT 6 WEEKS LATER (THURSDAY, JULY 28) Philip entered the parking garage computer lab, feeling quite pleased with himself. His summer acting class had just ended a week ago; he had done admirably well for someone who had been a computer sciences major from the beginning. (Alright, so he had taken an acting class in high school, but that isn't the same, now is it?) Now, with the class ended, and not much else to do during the day, Philip spent more and more time in the lab before going home in the afternoon. And, by and by, the times in the lab were getting to be one of his favorite times of the day, right up there with reading books and attending Wildwood Summer Theatre. , he thought to himself. Life could do some pretty strange things at times, but for one, Philip was glad that it had happened. The three friends (as if you couldn't guess ;) ) were Gordo, Rufus, and Aerianne; they were in the lab so often that Philip gradually lost his initial uneasiness around them, and began to accept them as they were. Who they _were_ was still a matter of some debate, seeing as Philip never really heard anything about their personal lives other than what they encountered during the day at Maryland. But Philip wasn't about to pry since he figured that they would tell him when they wanted to. Since they were in the lab when they were not in class, they spent long hours reading newsgroups (natch!). Gordo took to the newsgroups easily, especially the talk and soc groups, and made good on his promise to "learn more about the world." Aerianne read mostly the rec and alt groups, apparently trying to learn more about the culture of the world. And judging from Rufus' enthusiasm the first time he had logged onto a NeXTstation to read sci and comp, before long he would easily surpass Philip's own minor prowess on the nets; Hell, before long he would probably surpass the ability of _anyone_ on the net. Philip wasn't taking any bets against him, that was for sure. Philip's teaching abilities had been stretched to the limits the past weeks as the three asked him one question after another about the NeXT, UNIX, and the Internet. Philip tried to answer as many questions as he could; but there were just some really arcane questions (most of them asked by Rufus) that he couldn't answer, and he had to go to a first-aider for help. Fortunately, a friend of his, Cameron McNary, was working as a first-aider that summer, and he was able to take up the slack when Philip stalled. However, now that the college was in Summer Session two and the three were taking classes, Philip planned to come in early, to allow him to catch with his r.a.a. reading before they came and started pelting him with questions. However, it was not to be, since as he entered he could clearly see the three sitting in a line, with a station "reserved" for him between Gordo and Aerianne. Philip smiled. he mentally giggled. Gordo, at the NeXTstation, noticed Philip and waved him over. "Good day, Philip! How may I enquire are you doing?" "How about saying 'What's Up?'" "Very well, I shall! 'What's Up?'" "Oh, the Sun, the Moon, the Stars...nononono," He looked up in anticipation. Blank stares answered him. "Oh, never mind," he grumped as he slid into a NeXTstation station next to Gordo's NeXTstation. "I guess you just had to have read it," he mused out loud. "hm," muttered Rufus, who was currently hip deep (metaphorically speaking) in a technical report in some sci. newsgroup, and had totally missed Philip's attempt at a joke. "Don't mind him," Gordo commented as Philip logged on and checked his mail, "He has just discovered the joys of sci.aeronautics." "Oh. Ohhkay. Whatever." He turned his attention to the newsgroups. R.a.s.c was pretty quiet, considering that everyone was waiting for the new season to begin. Just a few minor comments here and there, and perhaps a new bit of fanfiction. He changed groups to Rec.arts.animation. This was a bit more lively, and then he changed to r.a.a.s, which he hadn't read for a week and a half due to his extended WST commitment and the general fallout from finishing a summer course. Looking at the 'unread articles' prompt, he could see that a new story had appeared, and he scrolled down to it. He read the title (since NewsGrazer ignored the ^L's): Eyrie Productions in association with Up Too Late Productions, DisInc. presents A Discordia Production Of A WaveDrag Film Hopelessly Lost (It's not Undocumented Features, really.) Benjamin D. Hutchins Brian D. Bikowicz Copyright (c) 1993 Benjamin D. Hutchins and Brian D. Bikowicz Philip thought with excitement. Philip began to read, and as usual, put everything else aside as he read it. Only a giggle or two came out as Philip tried, and failed, to keep quiet as he read the story. One especially loud giggle, almost a laugh, caught Aerianne's attention, and she leaned over to see what was causing the noise. "Hey, Philip," Aerianne said over his shoulder. "Hmm?" he replied, _totally_ engrossed in the story in front of him on the screen. "Philip?" Aerianne tried again. Philip snapped out of his reverie. "Huh? Oh, uh, hi Aerianne! What is it?" "What are you reading?" she asked, moving her chair to get a better view. "Oh, this?" He chuckled. "Oh, just the newest part of, IMHO, the greatest anime fanfiction series ever written." "Excuse me?" she asked, looking at the screen. "It's (not really) a part of Undocumented Features, a really cool series that got me into Anime, for which I am _eternally_ grateful!" He chuckled again. Aerianne looked at the text a little longer, and smiled. "Yeah, I think I could see why. Is there any way I can get a copy of this?" "Sure!" Philip opened a terminal window, ftp'd WPI, got a copy, uncompressed it, enscripted it to two columns and sent it to the laser printer. Aerianne got up to get it, and Philip continued to read. She came back with a stack of paper, sat down at her terminal, and began to read. Philip thought with a grin. After a few minutes (and more than a few giggles), Aerianne glanced at her watch. With a gasp, she began to pack up her backpack and log out of her station. "I've really got to get to my class... Where did you say I could get the rest of the stories?" "Just ftp to wpi.wpi.edu, cd /anime/FanFiction and get anything with dp.u*. You'd better make sure that you've got plenty of space though. Actually, a better idea would be to cd /tmp and ftp from there. Then just enscript to two columns and courier seven, and pipe it to the printer. And don't say I didn't warn you..." "Don't worry, I won't say anything of the sort," she smiled as she got up and slung her backpack over her shoulder. "See you tomorrow!" "Seeya!" Philip watched as Aerianne exited the lab. A look of not-quite-longing-but-close-to-wistfulness crossed his face as he returned his attention to the terminal. As he continued to read HL, he reflected on his life. He sighed. <<>> Ah yes, which brings us to the question of Aerianne. Philip _knew_ that he liked her. She liked computers (a plus, at least in Philip's eyes), she was very personable, she was intelligent (although just a *little* bit naive on some things (but not much :) )), and she now seemed to be developing an interest in Anime! What could be better? If he didn't know any better, he could almost say he was falling in love. Well, except for the fact that he had no idea what falling in love was like. Except from the examples in UF, other stories, and in the various musicals that he had seen, Philip had never had a true "relationship" with a person of the female species. Quite frankly, he didn't even know where to begin! Philip also had another problem, closely related to the fact that he had never had a "relationship". His view on relationships were seriously colored by the aforementioned textual sources. He _believed_ in love at first sight. Sure, the logical part of him fully realized that such a thing was very improbable, almost impossible in real life; but the emotional, sentimental side believed in it just the same. He most certainly didn't want to become a victim of "Trevor Syndrome", he had seen the result of that firsthand. So what to do? "I guess I'll have to go to the usual plan," he mumbled to himself. "Just be a friend". But then again, he reflected, that kind of relationship was more satisfying anyway, as that way no one would get hurt. Sighing, he returned to his terminal. And so the summer passed.... 7) --- School Daze ---------------------------------------------------- "We're BAAACK!!!" -- G. Neric Students THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1993 "Ah, to be back in the old dorm room again," said Philip as he unpacked his various boxes and bags and set himself to the task of getting settled into his dorm. It had taken him a while to actually get his stuff into the room, since his mother had decided to not carry anything in with him. Back problems. he thought, But, now he was *home*, and he began unpacking with gusto. First came the file cabinet, with its class folders in the top shelf and his printouts and downloads in the bottom. "A lotta trees died for me," he quipped to himself as he placed each story carefully into the bottom drawer. Next came his books, which filled several shelves, and his supplies, which went into the desk and under the bed. He was putting up his Tiger print above his corner bed when he heard a knocking at the suite door. "Hold on, Hold on, I'm coming!" he yelled as he approached the living room door. "Yeah, who is it?" he asked as he looked through the security peephole. The fish-eye lens gave a distorted, but still attractive view of.... "Aerianne?" said Philip as he opened the suite door. "Oh, hi Philip!" she answered. "I didn't realize that you were living here!" "And I didn't know that you were living *there*!" he said, indicating the suite across the hall. "How'd you get into a suite your freshman year?" "Two Words: Gordo and Rufus." "Ah, that makes sense. I'm surprised they didn't set you up in the honors house instead." "Well, they wanted to, but the roster was already finalized, and they couldn't change it without alerting them that something was amiss." "So, how's it going? What's it like, going into the 'great unknown'?" "Actually, kind of boring. There's nothing open, the stores are all closed, and I have no idea where I can find food at short notice!" Philip nodded in agreement, knowing the feeling. "Oh! Before I forget, could you come over to help me with something?" "Um, er, what?" he answered, wondering where she was going with the conversation (besides the other room). "Well, I've got some bookshelves that need assembly..." "Wait right there," Philip said with a smile. He returned to his room and picked up his bag of theatre tools, and then went over to Aerianne's suite. The suite that Aerianne lived in was rather small, but still serviceable. It had a small living room, two double rooms, two single rooms, and two baths, very much like the suite that he lived in. He followed her into the single where she apparently lived. However, even for a single, it was remarkably...empty? "A single? Hey, even *I* wasn't able to get one when I got here... waitasecond..." "What?" "Where's your stuff?" "What stuff?" "*Your* stuff'." "I don't have any 'stuff'." This was getting nowhere. Philip tried a different tack. "I mean, where's the things that you plan to put in your dorm room? Things like posters and pictures to put on your wall, papers and books to put on your desk! Things from home that you can't live without!" "Oh, *that* stuff? Oh, don't worry, Gordo and Rufus are bringing it over later." "Oh, ok." Philip smiled. He sat down, unpacked his tools, and got to work. The shelves were not that hard to assemble, although it did require at times some reading of the directions and a little bit of forcing on the part of the crescent wrench. As he was finishing their assembly, the door intercom buzzed. Aeri moved over to it and spoke into it. "Who is it?" "It's us, Aerianne!" "Oh, hi! I'll be right there!" She left the apartment to open the door. "Be right back, Philip!" "Ok," Philip said, as he finished tightening the last screw in the shelves. As he lifted them up, he could see Rufus and Gordo come in, their arms loaded with all sorts of stuff that a college student could need. They went back and got another load. Philip helped Aerianne put stuff on the shelves, and Gordo and Rufus continued to bring in boxes of supplies. "Wait a second," commented Philip as Gordo was bringing in his tenth load. "This can't *all* be Aerianne's stuff?" "You are quite correct, Philip. This is *our* stuff," and Gordo took the load into the double room at the end of the hall. "WHAT?!?" Rufus stuck his head into the room. "Huh?" Gordo exited the double room. "What is wrong with that? The listing said coed, which does mean 'open to or used by both men and women', doesn't it?" "Well, yeah; but they usually mean that as applied to the _building_, not to the _room_." "Hmm, that may be, but they were not that specific about that point in the notices..." "Whatever. The point is, what will Resident Life say when they find out about it?" Gordo chuckled. "I have little doubt that they will find out, but there will be little they can do about it." "Huh?" "You see," answered Rufus, "When I accessed the resident life computers, I rewrote our entries so that we were listed as female. However, our main university files list us as male, so I also wrote code to automatically translate between the two formats whenever each computer queries the other." "Ah," commented Philip, not really understanding, but accepting all the same. "So, now what?" "Well, I do believe that Physical Nourishment would be acceptable at this time," commented Gordo. "But the dining halls are closed until Monday," commented Aerianne. "So where should we go?" continued Gordo. "Well, what do you want to eat?" "Actually, I'm not that sure...." "Well, there's a place right down the street. Want to come?" "That would be acceptable..." said Gordo as he began to put on his jacket. "What's the name of the place, anyway?" added Aerianne as she got her purse. "The Bagel Place," said Philip over his shoulder as he went back to his suite to lock up. 8) --- Dukke and Fox Season ------------------------------------------- "The things you've gotta do to get some service around here!" -- Ghengis Khan "I've never really been down this way before," said Aerianne as they walked down the street towards the center of College Park. "Wait a minute," Philip paused and thought out loud. "You've been on campus for 3 months now..." "Eleven weeks, One day, and Four hours," interjected Rufus. "Thank you, Mr. Data," Philip replied before continuing, "And you've never been down to College Park? Where did you go when you needed supplies and food?" "We went to the Union, which *is* what it is for, correct?" "Well, yeah," Philip admitted to Gordo, "But you still need to find out what's here in town, just in case." "Point taken. So what *is* here?" "Well, there's the Book Exchange, Closet of Comics, a couple of bars and other shops, and the Bagel Place." "Ah." They arrived at the crosswalk and waited for the light to turn green. Philip held the door open for the three as they entered, acting as a doorman, even tipping his hat as they entered. Aerianne smiled, and Philip blushed slightly. They waited in line, and eventually got their orders. Moving to a nearby table, they sat down, and began to eat their bagels. "So, what classes are you taking, Philip?" asked Aerianne after they had sat down. "Welmph, I'mp takingh Cmshc Thretrhty," began Philip, forgetting that he was still chewing a bagel sandwich. "Huh?" "Oph, oops, soryph," Philip apologized. He leaned down and pulled out his laminated schedule. "Hrmph," he handed it to her. "Thanks." She took it, and looked at it while Philip finished chewing and swallowed. "There. Sorry about that," he apologized. "No problem," she replied, while looking at his schedule. Thinking a moment, she then reached into her purse and pulled out her schedule. "Hey, look!" She pointed to one block of time on the schedule. "We've got the same Theatre 110 class!" "We do?" Philip looked over the table at the two schedules. "Well, whaddaya know? We do!" He then looked closer at the schedules. "Waitasec, you're also taking cmsc 311..." "So? What about it?" Aerianne replied, drinking a Coke. "I didn't know you were a CompSci major. But how come you're taking a higher level course? When did you take the prereqs?" "Over the summer," she stated, before biting into her own bagel sandwich. "Ah. Whatever," Philip replied, and did the same. As they continued to eat, Philip learned more about their courses. Rufus was leaning towards the Engineering Major, while Gordo was focusing more on History. However, both were also planning to minor in Compsci, so they were going to be taking the same programming course that Philip was going to be taking, CMSC330. Aerianne stated that she was going to wait on 330, since she was also taking an honors-level history course that semester, as well as dance and stagecraft. They continued to talk, even after they finished their lunches, about all sorts of things (although mostly about computers), and they didn't pay attention to the rest of the room. So, of course, they didn't notice the eight men in skimasks enter The Bagel Place, and get in line. "May I take your order, sir?" asked the cashier. "Yeah," replied the first man, who wore a blue mask. "I'll take a Terrapin bagel, a large coke," he pulled out a Cobray assault pistol, "And all the money in the register." Visibly startled, the cashier still managed to blurt out, "Is that for here or to go?" as she opened the register and began pulling out money. "All right, NOBODY MOVE!" yelled out the second punk, clad in a yellow mask, as he pulled out his gun and trained it on the crowd. The other three also pulled their weapons and covered the crowd. "What the?..." cried Philip as he turned around in his seat. "I said, DON'T MOVE!" yelled Yellow, as he aimed the gun at Philip. "Eep!" squeaked Philip as he froze in place. "Comeon, comeon, we don't have all day," gestured the blue gunman with the gun as the cashier finished emptying the register into a paper bag. She handed it to Blue, who opened it, and said, "Where's my bagel? I WANT MY BAGEL!" He yelled, aiming the gun at her face. "Uhm, sure, one Terrapin bagel, coming up!" As the cashier moved behind the counter preparing the bagel, she surruptiously pressed the police call button. A light blinked. But not in a police station. This light was in a bright red Lamborghini Countach, whose owner was currently driving down Route One. "Hey, Deeds?" asked the burly individual in the passenger seat. "What is it, Ferdy?" replied Deeds, who was driving the Lamborghini. "Looks like we've got a crime happening," he said, getting excited. He pressed the button next to the light, which activated the police band radio. "...Repeat, All Units! Armed roberry in progress at The Bagel Place, Address..." Ferdy turned the radio off, and turned towards Deeds. "Can we pleeze take them out, pleeze?" "All right," replied Deeds as he accelerated towards The Bagel Place. "But you're buying the bagels when we're done." "ALL RIGHT!" Meanwhile, back at the Bagel Place, the armed gunmen were taking the customer's wallets and purses and putting them in a large sack. "Ok, we got all of them?" asked Blue. "Well, all except those four," replied a punk in a red mask, indicating Philip, Gordo, Aerianne and Rufus. "Good. We'll use them as hostages," proclaimed Blue as he moved towards them. "What the hell was that?" asked Yellow, who still had the gun trained on Philip. "I don't know, man," replied Blue. "You!" He pointed at a man in a green mask. "Go out there and check!" "Who me? It could be the police!" Green protested. "Aw, comeon! You don't hear any sirens, do you?" Bowing under to Blue's command, Green readied his weapon and cautiously exited the front of the store. A few seconds later he came back. Air mail. The punk flew through the front window, screaming in pain as he impacted the glass and hit the floor with a . "What the hell?" proclaimed Red, aiming his gun at the now- shattered window. "Speedy Delivery!" yelled the causes of Green's sudden entrance as they entered the store itself. Philip managed to move his eyes enough to get a good look at the two individuals coming in the door. His eyes widened in shock and recognition. For coming though the door was none other than Daniel Dukke and Ferdinand Fox! [For those who don't know, Daniel Dukke is the one in the really expensive suit carrying the really cool gun, and Ferdinand Fox is the one who's 6'7", heavily muscled, and has a _long_ ponytail -- ed.] "Ok, Skimask! Show's over! Come along quietly, and yew might just live!" proclaimed Ferdinand as he blocked the door. Daniel moved to cover the gunmen. "Just stay right there, and put down your guns," stated Daniel, somehow ignoring the fact that they seemed to be outnumbered eight to two. "Watch it, Duke, we've got hostages!" yelled Blue as Yellow jerked the gun, indicating whom they were planning to hold hostage. "That's 'duk', not 'duke'," said Dukke as he raised his gun and fired two shots. All hell broke lose. The first of Daniel's armor piercing, fin stabilized, discarding sabot (APFSDS) shotgun shells hit Yellow's ear, causing him to pull back. The second APFSDS shell shot the gun out of his hand. Philip then decided that getting out of there was a good idea, as the other skimasks leapt upon Dukke and Fox with a vengeance. "Come on!" he yelled to Aerianne and the others, who were crouched behind an overturned table. "Why?" she asked. "I want to watch. It looks like they're having fun!" "FUN?!?!" Indeed, it seemed that Ferdy and Deeds had the situation well in hand, and were actually enjoying it. Ferdinand executed a wheel kick that disarmed several gunmen at once, whom he then took out of commission with a dizzying series of punches and kicks that would have done Bruce Lee proud. Daniel, in the meantime, shot the guns out of the others' hands, while looking incredibly cool doing so. Before long, there was only Blue and Yellow left, the others having been put out of commission by various unorthodox means (being thrown through a wall by a 6'7" fox well conversant in martial arts being the major "unorthodox method".) "We've got to get out of here!" whispered Philip to Aerianne, who was watching the ensuing conflict. "I do believe that Philip has the appropriate suggestion," commented Gordo. "Oh, all right," she said, and they turned to crawl towards the door. Blue, catching the movement, grabbed Philip, obviously trying to gain the upper hand again. "Watch it, _Dukke_," he enunciated. "Make one wrong move, and this kid's toast!" Aerianne almost cried out. "Didn't we just do this?" asked Philip. "Shut up!" yelled Yellow, focusing his attention on Philip and not on the three people behind him. "Just shut up!" Aerianne, moving quietly, snatched up an empty tray and threw it like a frisbee. It arced through the air and hit Yellow squarely on the back of the head, knocking him out. Blue, turning to shoot at Aerianne, was then tackled by Gordo as Philip ducked out of the way. A few punches and wheel kicks later, and the last two gunmen were on the floor unconscious. Aerianne came over to Philip, helped him up, and dusted him off. Together they walked towards Ferdy and Deeds, who were tying up the incommunicado felons. "Um, I want to thank you...." started Philip. "No problem," replied Daniel as he finished tying the last gunman. "It's what we do," he said as he handed Philip a business card. "If you ever need help again, call us," he continued as he and Ferdinand got into their Lamborghini. Philip looked at the card as they drove off. +---------------------------------------------------+ |If you've got: a cat up a tree, a cheating husband,| | a dishonest business partner, or a South American | | country you need overthrown... | | CALL US. | |And if you: don't have any problems with your life,| | mess around with people who do, or happen to be a | | certain Lybian dictator... | | Don't call us, WE'LL CALL YOU. | | DANIEL DUKKE FERDINAND FOX | | A C T I O N H E R O E S | | 301-555-4327 | +---------------------------------------------------+ He snickered a little, but then stopped as the sound of distant sirens approached. "Looks like it's going to be a long day," he mumbled, as the Policemen and the TV crews surrounded them, trying to figure out what had just happened. "Does this sort of thing happen all the time?" asked Aerianne as they walked back to their dorm. Several hours had passed, since this sort of news was worthy of at least one live TV interview, as well as several newspaper articles. "Fortunately, _no_." Philip answered, still slightly confused about the entire thing. "Actually, College Park is kind of quiet about such things." "Oh well," she shrugged. "It actually seemed sort of...fun," she smiled. "WHAT?!?!" "Oh, just kidding," she laughed, trying to calm him down. "I _was_ worried, you know..." "Oh," Philip recovered. "That's ok..." "Oh, by the way, Gordo, where did you learn to fight like that?" "Oh, just simple observation, Philip, Simple observation..." he smiled. "Huh? Oh, never mind..." Philip shook his head. They reached the dorm, and went inside. "Goodnight, Philip," called Aerianne as they went to their respective suites. "Goodnight," he waved back, fighting off a yawn. "Seeya tomorrow." Philip opened his door and went inside. "Man, am I ever tired! ," he said to himself as he got changed for bed. "I'm glad I don't get used as a hostage and then get interviewed _every_ day! Otherwise I'd get tired of it _very_ soon." Philip was reminded of the old chinese curse: 'May you live in interesting times'. "HAH!" he said as he got into bed. "I hope to god that the rest of the semester isn't so 'interesting'!" He snuggled under his covers and slowly fell asleep. And as he fell asleep, Philip realized that he hadn't finished unpacking. 9) --- IRCrs Anonymous ------------------------------------------------ "When I was in high school, my freshman English teacher thought that computers were the work of the Devil...now here I am in Satan's living room..." -- Gryphon TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 The rest of the month went by as a blur for Philip, as he readjusted to the college experience. He heard an occasional word or two about Dukke and Fox as they stopped one bank robbery or ended another totalitarian rule; but other than that, there were no major words. Besides, Philip was too busy anyway to worry about the College Park crime rate. There were programs to write, problems to solve, plays to read, and papers to write. Actually, strike that last part of the list, the part about the paper. That was _done_. And now that it was done, he could kill time with his new pastime (as of a day ago): IRCing. *** Philip-M (pmoyer@rac1.wam.umd.edu) has joined channel #anime! *** Topic for #anime!: The Dead Zone *** Users on #anime!: Philip-M @Pasta @Xaemyl @Scanner Mako @Ryouko +@pomru @Haunter @PCKitsune @Gryphon HalfFlat @Sinapus * HalfFlat Ooooooooh!s at Gryphon. oi PM Heh Pomru - your desk is a mess... > Hello, everyone... ** Mode change "-o Sinapus" on channel #anime! by Gryphon Sin: don't have o-ops! don't have o-ops! :) grr... * HalfFlat grins to Sinapus :) Ta! *** Mode change "+o Sinapus" on channel #anime! by Gryphon * Sinapus drops colony on Gryphon *** Mode change "-o Gryphon" on channel #anime! by Sinapus * Gryphon eats the colony. Yum! phhhhhlllllllppt! "What the heck is going on?" muttered Philip to himself, and he typed his question in. Oh, now he's de-oppingme. How mature. sin: uh pplease no deop wars PM: Sinapusand I are being immature. *** Mode change "+o Gryphon" on channel #anime! by Sinapus oops, Dani-chan told us to stop...we're sorry, Mommy.. *** Signoff: Pasta (Bad link?) * Ryouko sighs * Gryphon cowers * PCKitsune cheers up Ryouko. * Ryouko shakes her head * Philip-M watches. * Gryphon wishes he could get to Worcester this weekend...he's gonna +miss his favorite live role playing game. Bummer. * Xaemyl wants to go to Pau-Pau new Guinea ... But Gryph started it!! :) did not!!! * PCKitsune Nerf-bricks Sinapus. * Sinapus will settle down now * Philip-M backs off from the pending confrontation. Fool! Taste my wrath! pck: I thought I crammed that damn brick down your throat...I +guess you didn't learn your lesson... * Gryphon stuffs the Nerf brick up PCKitsune's left nostril. Philip blinked. He decided not to get involved. This _could_ get messy.... * HalfFlat cringes, ew. * HalfFlat cringes at the NerfBrick, that is :) * Philip-M backs away further. This does not look pretty. * Gryphon listens to "The Downeaster 'Alexa' again. Ahhh...what a +depressing song. Dhad wazzhn'd vhewwy nidhe, Gwyphnn. :) * HalfFlat *LOL* sorry :) * PCKitsune shoots the Nerf brick out of his nose, sliming Gryphon in +the process. :) * Philip-M offers to extract the nerf-brick from PC. * Gryphon holds PCKitsune by the tails through the window, +threateningto drop him into #Amiga. 'Now stop throwing that thing +around.' > Nevermind, too late. :) hey I have a Amiga :> > Yay. :| * Gryphon tires of cosplaying as his weak mortal self. *** Gryphon is now known as Unicron Philip's eyebrows raised. "Oh, boy," he Becketted. > Uho, this spells trouble! There. That is better. *** Shogun (mtats@sandstorm.Berkeley.EDU) has joined channel #Anime! Eep! O.O;;;;; *** Sinapus is now known as SDF-23 *** Shogun is now known as Pasta re Mike > This could be a BBIIIGGG problem!! * SDF-23 assembles Yamato-class battleships around it. * Pasta kisses Dani-chan Oh, good. I thought this marinara sauce would all go to +waste. :) * Unicron hovers menacingly over the channel. In fact, over IRC as a +whole. Where does a planet-sized robot sit when he goes to the movies? + :) ???? * SDF-23 charges Reflex cannon mako: anywhere he wants? * Philip-M looks for something appropriate. * Mako sniggers. * Mako grabs a Lazer-Tag rifle from a nearby Android Petrarca. 'For a time I considered sparing your wretched little channel +#anime! But now...you shall witness...its dismemberment!' * PCKitsune smothers Pasta in marinara sauce. * Unicron decides not to be evil, after all. * SDF-23 maintains lock on Unicron * Unicron returns to planet mode. * Philip-M finds a nearby "anime"matter bomb, but decides not to use +it. * PCKitsune throws Unicron a Truly Monstrous Twinkie. :) * Unicron eats SDF-23, ripping it to shreds before it has a chance to +fire. 'Delicious...for an idiot.' *** Unicron has been kicked off channel #anime! by Xaemyl (Xaemyl) And xaemyl Kicks the shit out of Unicron! :) *** SDF-23 is now known as Sinapus X: You kneebiter. B) Hehehe * PCKitsune smashes Xaemyl with a falling piano. > That wasn't fair! B) Oh well... :) At about this time, Philip had gotten out some of his koosh balls and had started juggling. Curious, he tried the same thing on #anime! (but without the koosh balls). * Philip-M picks up piano pieces and begins juggling. *** LF (lordfang@netcom4.netcom.com) has joined channel #anime! * HalfFlat *blink*s! A juggler! * Pasta waves to Frank * LF waves to mike *** PCKitsune has left channel #anime! * HalfFlat steals the piano bits, and juggles them himself! :) -> *HalfFlat* Well, only up to three. * LF feels SAD...A certain person is going away for a year... :( *** Iczer-1 (930400@edna.cc.swin.edu.au) has joined channel #anime! hej iczer ... *** Pasta is now known as Shogun lf: Who? * Philip-M picks up some keys, and begins juggling again. Yum, that was good... yo ppl * LF someone we all know...O'well... Danielle is leaving!? * Philip-M passes to HafFlat.... *HalfFlat* You should try for four! Four not that much harder than +three :) what is happening today what? * HalfFlat tosses a bit of piano back to keep the pattern. *** Iczer-1 has left channel #anime! *** Parn (tyip@libws4.ic.sunysb.edu) has joined channel #anime! heheh * Philip-M passes a black key over to HalfFlat Philip smiled. And so the night continued.... However, Philip Moyer was not the only one staying up late that night at the computer. In the secret headquarters of FOWL (the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny), Ray was overseeing the completion of the second step of his campus takeover plan. "How goes the programming, Korzon?" asked Ray as Korzon and his Gleepian staff worked at breaking into the University of Maryland's computer net. "It's _cracking_, Ray, not programming," replied Korzon. "And, fortunately, we're almost complete." Korzon looked over at one of the computer techs, who was typing at a terminal, which was really quite impressive when you consider that gleepians have no hands. Instead, he was using his natural telekenisis to maneuver the keys. "Sir!" the tech announced. "We're in!" "Excellent," said Ray as he and Korzon moved over to the terminal station. "Can you copy the Maryland system into our own?" "Sir, we've got superuser access to the _entire_ UMD system, student and administrative accounts included," the tech replied. "We can do _anything_." "Excellent," smiled Ray. "Here is what I want you to do..." 10) --- Upgrade Path -------------------------------------------------- "And now just a tiny little adjustment..." -- The last words of J. Random Techie THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30 ABOUT 2 IN THE MORNING "Grmphmbl," was Philip's coherent reply. In the darkened room, he got himself up to answer the phone before the answering system took over. The guy on the other end had better have a *very* good reason to call him at... 2:15 in the morning. > "Yeah, this is Philip Moyer, whaddaya want?" he yawned. "Hey, Phil, how's it going?" an unusually cheery voice answered. "Rufus?! What the heck are you doing up at this hour? It's about 3 in the morning!" "Well, I've been working on a few things. I need the time alone to get them to work right." "So that's where you've been nights! Gordo and Aeri were getting worried about you, with you not being in your room at normal hours." "Look, I'd love to stay on and chat, but I really gotta finish something. Just meet me in Engineering this afternoon at about 3 pm, and I'll have it done by then. I guarantee that you'll like what I've cooked up!" "Well, I'd better...I'll be missing Sesame Street." "Don't worry! You'll LOVE it! Goodnight!" "Goodnight," and Philip hung up the phone and slumped back into bed. he thought as he fell back to sleep. Rufus hung up the phone and, smiling, set himself back onto the task at hand. "I guess they can always use another engineer up in heaven," he chuckled to himself as he leaned over the workbench and tweaked a connection in the middle of the pile of wires and components before him. It was just another standard Thursday for Philip. He woke up, took his medicine, got his breakfast, survived his Stat class, endured his Compsci class, made a dash for the Union to see Erasable Inc. and perhaps get lunch in the bargain. However, this daily routine was lightened by the fact that he had managed to snare Rufus, Gordo, and Aerianne to come to the shows. Even though Rufus wasn't there that day, Gordo, Philip, and Aerianne laughed aloud at the improv antics of Inc. After the one hour show ended, the three got up and gathered up their stuff. Waving goodbye to Philip and Aeri, Gordo left the Atrium for a class. Philip and Aerianne left in the other direction, since Philip had no classes for the rest of the day, and Aerianne didn't have one until two. "Oh, where was Rufus? I didn't see him at Inc," commented Aerianne as they exited the union and crossed Campus Avenue towards the mall. "Actually, where _has_ he been the past week?" "Oh, he's over in the engineering building, finishing something up. Beats me what it is, though..." "Oh, so that's where he went," she nodded to herself. "That makes sense. Sort of..." She shrugged. "Whatever," she changed the conversation in a manner similar to Philip's usual method. "So, what's up? And don't give me Vaughn's answer!" she admonished him with a smile as he opened his mouth to respond. "All right, all right," he laughed, changing gears. "Actually, not much. Just a lot of reading to do, which I can handle, plus studying for THET 110. Speaking of which, are you ready for it?" "Yeah, pretty much. At least that outline Dr. Tocci gave was helpful." Philip nodded. "And Romeo and Juliet _is_ going to be on the exam?" "Yeah. I'm glad I got a ticket for tonight," he answered smugly. "When are _you_ going?" "Oh, tonight," she replied. "I want to see what this 'major's night' is like..." "Really? Where are you sitting?--" A loud explosion was heard coming from the eastern side of the campus. A large, black, mushroom-shaped cloud of smoke slowly rose up into the sky. "Whatthehell?" breathed Philip. "What happened?" "Well, I'm not sure," she answered, "but it seems to have come from... the...engineering...building..." She looked at Philip with a meaningful glance. "Rufus!" they said at the same time, achieving a nice stereo effect. They set off across the mall at a dead run. Ignoring the oncoming traffic around the UMD circle, Philip and Aerianne darted across Campus Drive, nearly being run over by some of the less attentive drivers. But they made it across, and panting heavily, they made it to the engineering building. The black smoke cloud was still rising, and it blocked out the sun quite effectively. "Come on!" yelled Aerianne, as Philip panted for breath. "Yeah, I'm comin'," he managed to pant out. They climbed the stairs three steps at a time, and entered the Engineering Classroom building. "Everything _seems_ to be normal here," he commented as they passed hastily-evacuated classrooms. "But what about the Lab building?" "Good point." They turned a corner and ran across the connecting bridge to the Lab building. And then they stopped. "Well, I think we've found our problem," he muttered. "Yep." The problem that Philip was commenting about was mainly the fact that the upper floor of the lab building was now missing. The bridge, which usually led into classrooms, offices, and an observation deck looking over the large mechanical lab, now ended abruptly at the outer wall of the building. Looking out at where the upper floor used to be, Philip and Aerianne had a clear view of the destruction that the explosion had wrought. Tangled machinery and twisted metal lay everywhere. The large windows that viewed the parking lot no longer existed. Every pane of glass had been blown away, leaving the frames, which were badly twisted. The floor that used to be there had collapsed, breaking apart into large concrete-cinder block segments. Hopefully, no one had been in the downstairs rooms, Philip thought to himself. "Come on, we've gotta find Rufus!" he said to Aerianne. "But how are we going to get down?" he muttered to himself. "Jump," she replied, as she got ready to drop down to the ruined floor. "Watch that first step, it's a doozy," Philip quipped mirthlessly. With a short jump, Aerianne arced through the air, landing in a crouch on an intact piece of floor. "Okay, your turn!" she called up to him. "You sure about this?" he gulped. "Ahh, come on! We don't have all day!" "Ohkay...." With that, Philip moved back a bit and made a flying leap into the middle of the rubble. He made a perfect five-point landing, hitting his hands, feet, and rear at the same time. "OOOWWWW!!!" Aerianne ran over to him. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?" she asked with concern. "Oh, no, not much. Just some bruises, lacerations, and broken bones. Nothing that being carried wouldn't solve." Totally missing the sarcasm, Aerianne picked up Philip in her arms, and carried him across the rubble. "Hey, wait a second!" he cried out. "What?" "I'm not _that_ hurt." "Oh." Aerianne put him down again, and they began to search through the rubble. The two friends spread out, and began calling out Rufus's name. The search was slow going, and no response to their hails was forthcoming. They were just about to give up when Aerianne spotted a piece of green fabric sticking out of a demolished wind tunnel. "Philip, over here!" she called out. "Coming!" Philip made his way over some collapsed ceiling beams, and came closer to where Aerianne was. He could hear some groans emanating from the ruins. Could Rufus still be alive? "Help me get this off him!" Philip grabbed onto the piece of wind tunnel and lifted as Aerianne asked. After a few moments of straining muscles, the piece of wind tunnel moved more freely. They lifted it off the green fabric and placed it to one side. Shifting some smaller pieces of debris, Aerianne uncovered Rufus' lime green lab coat. "He's here!" Aerianne helped Rufus into a sitting position and dusted him off. Rufus moaned softly. "Rufus, are you ok?" asked Philip. "Unnghhhhh...Huh Wha?...Who's there?" "Philip and Aerianne, who else?" "But then why can't I see you....AAUGH, I'VE GONE BLIND!!" Rufus began to flail about. "Rufus, calm down, _Calm Down_!" Philip reached over, removed Rufus' soot covered glasses, and cleaned them off. "Here you go. It's just soot." He hand them back to Rufus. "Oh. AH!" He blinked. "Sorry about that..." "No problem, useless panic is my stock-in-trade. Here, let me help you up." Philip grabbed hold of Rufus' hand and pulled him back up. "Now, for the 64K question: What the Frick happened here?!?" Rufus looked around as if seeing the devastation for the first time. "Wow. I didn't realize that it had caused *this* much destruction! This is great!" "Huh? what do you mean, 'Great'? The place looks like a bad remake of 'Highlander'! How can that be *Great*?!" As if to punctuate what he was saying, a piece of glass fell out of its ruined frame and hit the ground, shattering with a pleasing . "What caused this?" "Well, it's kind of like this," Rufus began to search among the rubble. "That thing I wanted to show you? Well, I finished it. And it performed much better than I expected!" He stooped down and picked up a frisbee-sized metal object. "And here it is. Thank the egg it's still intact!" He handed it to Philip. "It looks like a frisbee. And may I ask again, what is it?" "You may ask," he chuckled. "What is it?" Philip repeated, getting impatient. "Just watch." With a grin, Rufus reached up and grabbed a cable from the ceiling, one of the few things that hadn't been all-out destroyed. He plugged the cable into the top of the disk, and then pressed a switch on top. A low hum began to emanate from it, and a dull glow started. He let go of it, and it stayed there. Philip stared. "Good God!" he excitedly whispered. He turned to Rufus. "Antigravity?" "Well, technically it's a repulsor field generator, but yes, I guess you could call it that." "Cool!" Philip reached towards the disk and nudged it; it shifted and began to drift over the debris field. It didn't even notice the fact that the land beneath it was strewn with rubble. "Hey, it's staying level!" "Yep. Special innovation that I added..." "Excuse me," Aerianne interrupted, "Not meaning to interrupt your techie revelry, but there is still one question left unanswered." "Huh?" they both replied. "Namely: *What Caused This*?!" "Oh! Ah, erm, sorry Aerianne, you're right. I do owe you two an explanation." Rufus again started over the ruins. Philip and Aerianne kept pace with him. "You see, I finished the Repulsor much earlier than I expected. So I started on another project that I had waiting. And that one worked a bit *too* well." They climbed through a large hole in the end wall. "How's that?" asked Philip. "See for yourself," gestured Rufus, pointing towards a dark hole imbedded in the adjacent Chemistry building. From within came a bright glow, much brighter than that of the disk's. Philip moved to look, but Rufus held him back. "You probably shouldn't do that. The exhaust would fry you in seconds." "Exhaust?" asked Aerianne. "Gentleman, Lady; What you are looking at is the prototype Rufus- Brown Ion Thruster." "ION THRUSTER?" exclaimed Philip. Aerianne covered her ears. she thought to herself. "So this one thruster is what caused all the destruction?" she asked. "Yep. Like I said, it worked too well. I was expecting just some modest thrust of perhaps a few pounds, but instead what I got was about Mach 2." "Good god...But now what?" she continued. "What do you mean?" he asked, wondering where she was heading. "Now that you've reduced the lab to a smoking war zone, what are you going to do?" "Go to Disney World?" interjected Philip. He was met with two stares, one confused, from Rufus; and one annoyed, from Aerianne. "Ha, Ha, Philip. It is to laugh. Seriously, Rufus, what's next on your technical agenda?" "Actually, I don't know... I guess I'll need a test platform to see if they'll work in the 'real world'. But where can I get one? Maybe if I went over to..." "Um, Rufus?" Philip asked. Rufus paused and turned towards him. "Yes?" Philip Grinned Evilly(tm). "Would a Chevy Citation work?" 11) --- Test Drive ---------------------------------------------------- "I'm not driving too fast, I'm just flying low!" -- Bumper sticker THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ "Grmblmbrbmls....Oh, seven o'clock. Another day, another headache." Philip dragged himself out of bed, and the day began. After the usual startup routine, Philip went over to the EPSL lab to get some computer time before Stat. As he entered, he saw Aerianne. This was unusual, since she usually had later classes. She was at one of the stations, typing away at something. Feeling playful, he snuck up behind her and stood still. Sure enough, a few seconds later she yawned and stretched back, hitting his chest. Startled, she looked up. "Good morning," he whispered. "Oh!" She jumped and turned around. "Hi Philip! How's it going? I didn't see you come in last night." "Well, I ended up getting involved in a production that goes up tonight. _Fortunately_, I'm done with it now" "What were you doing for it?" "I was making Michael Douglas." "?" "Believe me, you *don't* want to know. Trust me." He logged onto the station next to Aerianne's. As the NeXTstation booted up, he turned to Aerianne. "So... How are *you* doing?" "Oh, okay, I guess..." She yawned. "Although I have a paper due this afternoon, that's why I'm up this early. Gordo's sleeping in, as far as I can tell... His history exam was rough, though...." "How's Rufus doing?" "Rufus?" She laughed "He's just fine... well fine for someone who has a linear algebra exam today and didn't study. He was up all night finishing the Citation..." She glanced over at Philip, who smiled sheepishly. "Well, it's not like I *forced* him to do it..." he apologized. "That's alright... Just *don't* do it again!" she worfed. They giggled, and they went back to their respective tasks. Philip checked his mail, read r.a.a, and then brought up a terminal window and logged onto IRC. rac3> ~highway/bin/mips/irc Philip-M *** Connecting to port 6667 of server pepsi.eng.umd.edu *** Welcome to the Internet Relay Network Philip-M *** *** There are 1985 users and 629 invisible on 143 servers *** There are 66 operators online *** 734 channels have been formed *** This server has 40 clients and 2 servers connected *** - pepsi.eng.umd.edu Message of the Day - *** - Welcome to the University of Maryland IRC Server. *** - *** Philip-M (pmoyer@rac2.wam.umd.edu) has joined channel #Blair! *** Topic for #Blair!: Come on in and find out! *** Users on #Blair!: Philip-M B-Paladin RevXmos @DrYeh +@Penguin > Hi, everyone! PHILL!!! Hi, phil! * RevXmos waves at Philip * Penguin waves a flipper at Philip :) > What are you guys doing on so early? Early? This is late! ;) Well, I just finished a project due for +tomorrow. Yay. So, how's it going? > Ah, the question of the day... Oh, everything's pretty calm. What? Impossible! :) > Well, In a nerve-wracking sort of way ;). The last couple +of nights I spent making a puppet for a show, so I'm a little +behind. "Oh, so *that's* what you meant!" commented Aerianne. Philip looked at her, shrugged, and returned his attention to the terminal. Don't wanna know..... ;) So what are you planning to do today? >Well, other than the usual stuff, I plan to see Erasable Inc. +this afternoon... I also invited people from Blair over, +since they have the day off.. Oh, them! They were good :) Wish I could see them again... Can't, tho. "Hmm," mumbled Philip to himself. An Idea(tm) was forming.... >But other than that, things have calmed down. I don't have +any _major_ projects due, so it's just homework to catch up.. Well, I just finished a program, so I'm just +hanging out. >Oh, BTW Trev, where are you (building wise)? And how long do +you plan to be there? I'm at Wean Hall, and I should be there for most +of the day. Whyfore you ask? >Oh, Just wondering.... Philip giggled. Aerianne turned to look at him, caught the grin on his face, and then turned back to her terminal. >Well, I'll see you guys later... I've got classes to go to... *Philip-M packs up his stuff* Bye Phil Bye Philip Bi Phil Cya l8r >Bye, All. Seeya ;) ;) rac3> By now, Philip had a Maniacal Grin(tm) on his face, and was giggling uncontrollably. Aerianne had a confused look on her face, as well as the rest of the lab. Turning, Philip caught the full force of the combined stares of the lab; and embarrassed, returned to his terminal. rac3> mail rufusb@wam.umd.edu Subject: Citation Query. Rufus, would it be ok if I could use the Citation today? I heard that the conversion was finished.... P.S. Did you manage to change the radio? --Philip . CC: rac3> logout Philip logged out. "Um, Aeri?" "Hmm?" "Would it be ok if you took notes for me during 311?" "I don't think it would be a problem...Why?" "Well, I'm going to be picking up a friend of mine to come see Inc...Would it be ok?" "Sure. It's not like I've got anything better to do." "Thanks! See you later!" And with that, Philip rushed out of the EPSL lab. 12) --- Flights Of Fancy ---------------------------------------------- "I was born to fly. The air is my home" -- From the book "Invincibility made Easy" The Statistics class was the usual: One teacher who went on and on about his subject matter, and about 25 students who tried to vainly keep up with him. Philip sketched in his notebook whenever the teacher started on another tangent. But finally, it was over, and Philip exited the classroom with nervous anticipation. He left the Math building, and instead of crossing the road to get to the CompSci Classroom building, he turned and entered the rebuilt Engineering Lab building. Philip looked around. The rubble had been removed and the walls repaired by the overeager civil engineering students; a few scorch marks gave testament to what had happened a week before. The roof was also rebuilt, although a large sliding door was now installed where the hole had been. Rufus was nowhere to be seen, but an object covered by a tarp was situated in the middle of the large lab. "Hello?" he called. No one answered. He shrugged, and proceeded towards the tarped object. He pulled off the tarp, and revealed the dingy red 1982 Chevy Citation that was underneath. It looked just as it always had, and there was no sign of modification, technical or cosmetic. "What the frick? What gives? I thought he would be done by now...Hullo, what's this?" Philip reached for the piece of paper stuck under the windshield wiper. He read it: Sorry I can't be around for your maiden flight; I've got a linear algebra exam and you know how they are. The controls are still the same, but I've installed a keypad where the ashtray was, and there's a small manual on the seat. Good luck! Rufus P.S. I wasn't able to replace the radio. Philip groaned. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to do this alone. But I don't have any champagne..." He went over to a soda machine and bought a Coke. He opened it, and poured its contents on the Citation's hood. "I hereby christen thee the 'Citation-From-Hell'. Seems appropriate," he chuckled. He unlocked the door, got in, and closed it. The inside still looked as well worn as it always had, but now there was a small book placed in the compartment between the seats. He picked it up and opened it; inside there were columns of numbers and small descriptions next to them. "Hmm... Ok, this would seem to be the reason to replace the ashtray." He popped open the ashtray compartment. The lighter was still there, but the tray itself had been replaced with a phone-style keypad. "Now then..." He turned to the front page: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a Rufus/Brown Model 2C Flying Citation! We would like you to take the time to familiarize yourself with the following features... Philip read on for a few pages more, and then closed the book. He had all that he needed for now; he would read the rest later. He put his key into the ignition and started the engine. It started, but it sounded more.. powerful? "Hmmm...," Philip hummed to himself, "We got the touch, We got the power..." Sitting back and making sure he was buckled, he revved the engine. Yep, it was definitely more powerful than before. "Now, let's see what it can do." Holding his breath, he entered the six-digit code that the book said would trigger the transformation. Nothing happened. "Huh? What's going on?" He looked at the little display; the digits were exactly the same as he had entered them, but nothing was happening! "What gives?" It was then he noticed the two buttons on either side of the zero. One had a star, the other one had an infinity loop, and both were flashing. "Okay..." He shrugged, and pushed them both. <<>> Immediately, the car began to shake. Philip pulled himself back into a fully upright position as his car did things it had never done before. Beneath it, four thrusters sprung forth blue flame, lifting the one and a half ton frame of the Citation a foot off the ground. Then the wheels began to shift outwards and pivot down; once fully deployed, their hubcaps began to glow blue. The thrusters shut off, and the car was now *floating* under its own power. Looking back, Philip could see the hatchback begin to open, but then his view was blocked as the twin ion thrusters raised up and locked into position, filling the trunk. Looking forward again, he saw the HUD system come on line. "Oh boy," he grinned. He felt the onset of an adrenalin rush. But now there was a little problem: how was he going to get out? He opened the book and flipped through it. He found the page he wanted, looked at one code, and then entered it, this time making sure to touch the and . Although nothing happened to the car, he could hear the very familiar sound of an automatic door opening. After 30 seconds it stopped. Philip sat for a little bit longer and thought, He pulled back on the wheel. The car's humming increased, and it began to rise. Within a few seconds, the car was out of the ceiling door and hovering in the sunlight. Philip laughed. This was incredible! Now for a mood setter, he thought. He reached over to the backpack on the passenger seat and opened it. He pulled out an old portable tape player that he had brought with him and put a tape into it. Fast forwarding, he found the music he wanted. He turned the car north, pressed the acellerator, and he was off! <<>> The car, if it could still be called that, handled beautifully. Philip had to admit, it wasn't the Daytona-From-Hell, and it _certainly_ wasn't the UPSTruckfromHell(tm); but they were fiction, and this was most certainly real! That and the fact that this was *his* car. The acceleration was incredible, to say the least, and soon Philip had flown over the Mason-Dixon line into Pennsylvania. Never mind that he had no idea where exactly Carnegie-Mellon *was*, but he guessed he could find it. "Sir!" "Yes, Ensign?" Korzon drifted over to the ensign's station. "What is it?" "Long range sensors have picked up trace ion particle emissions, heading on a northeast bearing, sir. The delta-v on the emissions would indicate a non-natural origin, sir!" Korzon glanced at the readings. "It would indeed. Contact General Petty. He should be overjoyed, to say the least, that he'll be able to put his new ships to work. Hold your post, and keep me informed." "Yes sir," replied the ensign. Korzon floated away in search of Ray. "Yes, what is it, Korzon?" replied Ray in a bored voice. "Sir... We have detected an ion particle source, heading north, at a delta-v of over 100 mph. We believe the emissions to be non-natural in origin." "Excuse me," said Ray smoothly, "but did you say over 100 kph?" "Yes, sir," gulped Korzon, which was an impressive trick on his part. "It's believed that the vehicle must be of unearthly origin." "Alright..." He thought for a moment. "Inform General Petty that he is authorized to pursue the unidentified bandit." Korzon turned to go. "And Korzon?" "Yes sir?" "Remember that it is *I* that makes the decisions here, and not you, no matter what your position had been before you joined the organization." "Yes sir." Korzon left, sulking. If only he was still on Planet Gleep! Philip made final approach on CMU. Admittedly, he had gotten lost for a little while, but a stop at a gas station had set him straight. Although the look on the gas station attendant's face had been one to die for! Philip wished he had brought a camera with him. But that was in the past; he had to pick up Trevor in the next few minutes. Philip leveled out the Citation and hovered a foot off the ground. He entered the landing code, and was rewarded with the feeling of tires touching the pavement and the body settling back onto the suspension. Getting his bearings, Philip drove towards the parking lot next to Wean Hall. He parked, fed the meter, and made his way to the building. Once inside, he began to search for Trevor. 13) --- Guest Starring... --------------------------------------------- "Oh man, this isn't happening. It only *thinks* it's happening!" -- Kevin Flynn It was a cloudy day when Philip landed the Citation. Then again, it was Pittsburgh; it's *always* cloudy in Pittsburgh. Philip looked up at Wean Hall, and could only think of one thing: "Wait, there *is* an Architecture program here, right??" Wean Hall had to have been one of the ugliest buildings he had ever seen. Thinking about it further, though, he realized he really couldn't blame them much: this place was so hilly that they had to work with what they had. Taking his mind off the appearance of the building, Philip entered into a spartan hallway. "Where do I go from here??" Philip wondered. When Trevor had said that he was going to be in Wean Hall, he had conveniently forgotten to mention exactly *where* in this nine-story building he could be found. He had a hunch, though, that a computer lab would be a good place to start. "Excuse me," Philip queried to a passing student, "but do you know where the computer lab is?" The student had to keep from laughing in Philip's face, instead simply restricting his initial reaction to a "You obviously don't go here, do you?" look. "Upstairs, 5th floor," he said, looking at Philip like he had amnesia. Philip, unaware of why the student was so apprehensive, flashed him a smile and said "Thanks!" and continued down the hall. "Excuse me," he said as he turned around again, "but where are the elevators?" The student shook his head and pointed Philip in the right direction. Trevor leaned back in the chair of Wean 5201, rubbing his eyes. He had been sitting in front of the Andrew workstation for almost two hours now, and everything was beginning to go blurry. he thought to himself, but laughed at the thought. "Hey, Trev!" echoed from the entrance to the room. Trevor turned around to see Shawn Knight and Ann Kopchik enter the lab. Ann came over and gave Trevor a big hug and a quick kiss. No one seemed to notice, but Trevor was peripherally glad that Ann's boyfriend wasn't there. He thought he saw a smirk on Shawn's face out of the corner of his eye, but thought better of it. Shawn and Ann had gone out at one point; Trevor thought, Trevor and Ann had their arms around each other, and Trevor almost commented something about "How cute," but decided against it. "What'cha doin'?" Ann asked. (Not exactly appropriate for a senior English major, but what the hell?) "Ah, just checking my mail, working on that story Philip asked me to help write, and generally just avoiding reality as we know it." "Always a good game plan," Shawn commented from over their shoulders. "You know," Philip commented to no one in particular, "when I asked that guy where the computer lab was, I neglected to ask if there was MORE THAN ONE!" It turned out there were *five* computer labs on fifth floor Wean alone. Philip didn't even want to think about the rest of the campus... As he passed by the entrance to 5201, he almost didn't see Trevor sitting at the workstation. But then he looked in the corner and saw an attractive-looking female with her arm around someone, with a guy looking over their shoulders at the screen. Philip walked into the lab, fully intent on throwing a wrinkle into Trevor's carefully-planned day. Trevor didn't even hear Philip walk into the lab. (Well, he had his arm around Ann and vice versa; can you blame him?) In fact, he wasn't even aware that anyone had walked in until Philip was standing behind them and said "So how's it going, Trev?" Trevor turned around and, with total deadpan and nonchalance, glanced up and said "Oh, hi Phil." It took exactly 1.5 seconds for Trevor and his chair to tip over backwards and crash into the linoleum floor. "Excuse me," Trevor said in his best Garth impression. "I must have slipped." Then, without regard for who (or what, knowing Carnegie Mellon) else was in the lab, shouted out, "PHIL! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Arch Moberley, the current cluster manager, glanced up from his station in the front of the room, thought about saying something, then, realizing the outburst had originated from Trevor, simply rolled his eyes and went back to his work. he noted to himself. Philip had a totally innocent look on his face when he answered, "Just visiting." Ann and Shawn just stood there, totally dumbfounded, not to mention entirely clueless. This state of mind surprised no one. * * * * "Phil, you *still* haven't explained how you got here," commented Trevor as they went out into the parking lot. "Do not worry, young grasshopper," quipped Philip, "All will become clear in a moment." Philip led Trevor back to the Citation. "No, it won't. How'd you get up here so fast? You logged on from Maryland this morning, and now you're _here_." "Good gas mileage?" he smiled innocently. "Grrrr..." "Don't worry, everything will be clear *real* soon. Now get in." Philip opened the door, tossed his backpack into the back seat, and got in; once in, he unlocked the passenger door and closed his own. "Oh, by the way, Trev, what time is it?" Philip asked as Trevor got in and closed the door. Trevor looked at his watch. "It's about 11:45." "Good. We'll get back just in time for Erasable Inc." Philip put the key into the ignition and started her up. "Philip, it's a four and a half hour drive." "No it isn't." Grin. "Phil...." Just then, a Semi truck pulled into the parking lot, blocking the entrance as the driver tried to find a space. "Oh, bloody hell!" exclaimed Trevor. "Now how are we going to get out? The road's blocked!" "Roads?" intoned Philip with an evil grin as he entered the liftoff code. "Where we're going we don't *need* roads." He flipped down his clip-on sunglasses, and pressed the star and infinity buttons. "Phil, what do you meann.....!" Trevor was cut off as the Citation rose into the air, setting course for UMCP. 14) --- Melmac Express ------------------------------------------------ "The First Rule of Fighter Combat is: Always make sure that the vehicle you're in *is* a fighter!" -- Philip Trevor looked around in the Citation with a look that said something between "Boy, I wish we did stuff like this in ECE" and "Oh man this isn't happening It only thinks it's happening..." "Uh... Phil?" he said tentatively. "What?" Philip answered with a tone of complete nonchalance. "WE'RE FLYING!" "And...?" With something of a compromise between a whimper and a groan, Trevor settled into the passenger seat and sat back to enjoy the ride, visions of "The captain has turned off the 'fasten seatbelt' sign" dancing through his head. Aerianne left CMSC 311 early. The notes on the board were taken directly from the book, and she had no doubt that they wouldn't change in the foreseeable future. Heading uphill, she proceeded towards the Student Union, always keeping an eye to the sky. However, nothing came, so she went inside, bought a salad, and went upstairs to the Atrium. Aerianne sat in the Atrium with her lunch, waiting for Philip and wondering if he would get there in time. She was so engrossed in thought that she didn't notice Gordo come in with his large lunch. "Aerianne!" She turned around in surprise. "Oh, hi Gordo! How's it going?" "Oh, quite well, quite well," he replied as he sat down. "Wait a moment. Where's Philip?" "Oh, he decided to take the Citation on it's maiden flight." "He actually used it?" interjected Rufus, as he entered the Atrium with his lunch. He sat down, and began to eat it. Gordo did the same, tearing into the pile of food before him. Aerianne just looked down at her salad. "Yeah. He just said that he was going to pick up a friend of his to see Inc." she thought to herself. "Well, I hope he's careful with it. I don't know if I got all the bugs worked out of it last night...I think I did...." Aerianne looked up. "?" "Velcro Two to Velcro One, we have a radar contact, mark 005 inbound." "Understood, Velcro Two, move to intercept. Velcro One out." Sloop, Larson Petty's aide-de-campe hooked the intercom and turned towards his leader. "What now, boss?" "Simple, Sloop. We'll find that renegade plane and take it down. And then," Petty cackled at the thought, "And then Ray will see that I, Larson Petty, scourge of Melmac, am the one to command the air forces!" "But sir, Ray wanted us to work together in peace and cooperation..." "Who cares? Once I've proved my air superiority, there will be no need for Ray to waste time with those Felizian rejects!" Petty sat back and chuckled. "But Phil?" asked Trevor, a little more calmly, for the 5th time that flight. "What, Trev, What?" replied Philip, who was still taking in the adrenalin rush. "How'd you get this?" he answered, indicating the car(?) around them. "Oh, that?" Philip laughed. "A friend built it for me." "Exsqeeze me? Bakingpowder?" "You heard me, a friend of mine built it for me." "Philip, this is _weird_, even for you..." "Thank you!" He paused. "Let me put it this way, Trev: Normalcy is obsolete now." Philip Smirked(tm). Putting his head in his hand, Trevor slowly shook his head and muttered, "Now?! Normalcy is obsolete *now*?!?! When was it ever *not*...?" "General Petty, General Petty, this is Velcro Two, over!" "Yes, Velcro Two," replied Petty, picking up the intercom, "What is it?" "I am coming within visual range of the unidentified bandit. Aquiring visual lock.... Sir, it looks like a car!" "A car?" Petty looked at Sloop, who shrugged. "Yes, sir! Estimated speed at Mach .4!" Petty returned his attention to the intercom. "Make a quick flyby of the vehicle to confirm, Velcro Two!" "Aye, Sir! Velcro Two out!" Petty changed the intercom to the squadron band and yelled into it. "All planes! Form up, and ATTACK!!" "I notice that you haven't consumed your salad yet, Aerianne," interjected Gordo as he finished off a helping of Roy's slaw. "What would the problem seem to be?" "Oh, I don't know..." She picked at her salad. "I honestly don't." "Would it have something to do with Philip?" "Yes, I suppose it would." Rufus joined the conversation with, "What about Philip?" "He seems to be ok, not at all uneasy around us as he was before, and that's alright, but..." "But what?" "I like him." "So? We like him too.." "No, I _like_ him...this is different in some way..." "But what I don't understand is, _why_ do you 'like' him?" "I don't know why, Rufus, but... it's really hard to describe..." "It would seem, Aerianne," continued Gordo, "That Philip is going through what seems to be called 'friendship', and that is what he considers the relationship to be. With all of us." "Yeah, I suppose so... But I wish..." "What?" "I don't know..." she whispered. The trip continued in silence. Trevor was still not sure what was going on, but was at least not panicking. Eventually, he began to hear a noise. Not knowing what it was, he asked Philip. "Do you hear somethin--" Velcro Two flew past the Citation, causing it to spin in its jet wash. <<>> "WHAT THE HELL?!?" exclaimed Trevor. Philip didn't pay much attention, as he was trying to regain control of the now pinwheeling Citation. Turning hard on the wheel and hitting the brakes, he managed to pull up and stop the rotation of the car. "What the hell was that?" "I have no clue, Trev," commented Philip as he adjusted the rear view mirror, "but let's find out." Looking in the mirror, which had changed to a TV screen since the thrusters blocked the rear view, Philip looked at the "plane" that had passed them. It had a large, bulbous body, with a small open-air cockpit. Beneath the cockpit, there were four guns of an unknown type. And on top of the spherical fuselage there were, of all things, a pair of wings *flapping*! Wondering how such a plane could move so fast, he looked further back and was able to see the pale glow of thrusters at full blast. thought Philip. "Of course!" he said, snapping his fingers. "Alf!" "Huh?" "That plane's from the Alf cartoon!" "I don't remember that one..." "Never mind." Looking back into the mirror, Philip saw four more jets fly into view. And in their lead was a strange, heavily thrustered, purple trident command cruiser. "Oh, *great*," Philip hit the wheel in anger, causing the car to dive down into the clouds. "We get to relive 'The Phantom Pilot'. I *don't* need this..." "In any case, from what I've read, any type of relationship is a cooperative venture. In order for it to succeed, both parties must be willing to cooperate and agree on the ground rules. In Philip's case, he is apparently content to keep it at the level it is." "I guess you're right, Gordo," smiled Aerianne as she began to eat her salad again. "I guess it'll have to do for now." The Citation-From-Hell flew through the clouds as Philip tried to stall for time. "Phil, what the hell is going on?" queried Trevor. "I don't know! I'm new at combat flying!" he snapped back. Philip muttered to himself, "All right, I've got to take out five enemy ships, with no weapons, no experience, and who knows what we have for fuel. Think think think think think," he tapped his head. With a start, he sat upright, a grin on his face. "Aha!" "What?" "Trev, check the glove compartment for a Pennsylvania Map." "Ok..." Trevor opened the compartment, and after wading through the assorted kipple, found a slightly beat-up PA-NJ map. He opened it up, revealing it to be one of the AAA variety, with a route mapped out in orange highlighter. "Philip, what are you planning to do?" "I'm gonna give them a tour of Pennsylvania they'll _never_ forget! *HANG ON*!" Philip stomped on the the accelerator. 15) --- Backroads ----------------------------------------------------- "Relax, enjoy the ride!" -- Rodimus Prime The Citation accelerated out of the cloud cover, catching the attention of the Melmacian jets. "General Petty!" Velcro Two's voice cried over the tac net. "We have spotted the enemy plane!" "I see that! All planes, attack!" The planes peeled out of formation, following the Citation. "PHILLLLLLL!!!!!" yelled Trevor as he was pushed back in the seat by the sudden acceleration. "Trev, snap out of it!" yelled Philip in return. "I need a navigator, and you're drafted!" "Hey, you're the one driving, you use the map!" "Well I would, but I can't look at it while I'm flying!" "Besides, I thought _you_ already knew how to get up here!" "Well, my parents were driving then! Keep an eye on those fighters, and tell me when we get close to Portage!" Trevor looked down through the window (which was fortunately closed), and commented, "How do you expect me to know where we're going when I can't see any of the road signs?" "Simple," Philip grinned maniacally. "We'll be flying _really_ low!" "What?!?!" gasped Trevor as Philip dived towards the trees. "General Petty, the car is diving towards the the surface!" stated Sloop. "I can see that, Sloop! Velcro Two," commanded Petty. "Follow that plane, and don't let it out of your sights!" "Aye, sir!" replied Velcro Two as his jet(?) dived after the Citation. Trevor glanced at the rear-view mirror-cum-tv screen. "Um, Philip, we seem to have someone following us!" "Great! How close are we to Portage?" "Um, I think you overshot it," he replied, looking at the map. "We're heading towards Altoona now." "Even better!" Philip turned the car in a wide arc, heading back the way they had come. "How close is the fighter?" "Right on our tail!" "Perfect!" Philip brought the Citation even closer to the ground, and the fighter behind them followed suit. "Care to explain that?" "Simple: I want to see how dumb they are," he replied as he rocketed towards the railroad bridge separating Portage from the surrounding countryside. "WHAT?!?!!" The Citation-From-Hell accelerated towards the tunnel, the Melmacian ship hot on his heels. Keeping himself well within the center of the tunnel entrance, Philip blasted through the tunnel and out the other side, shocking the few unfortunate individuals who were driving through the tunnel at the time. That shock turned to panic as the Melmacian plane, too close to veer off, shot through the tunnel as well, shearing its wings off in the process and scraping the sides as it tumbled through the tunnel. The plane-cum-scrap metal heap shot out of the tunnel like a cannonball, still being propelled by its thrusters, and crashed against an empty building, making a pretty fireball. "Yep, they're that dumb," commented Trevor as they flew over Portage towards the next place on the map. The next thing on the map was a series of roads that would lead to Route 220 South. The thing that made it tricky was that the roads were in the middle of the Appalachian Mountains, heavily forested, and that Philip was flying Nap-Of-the-Earth along them. The planes tried to intercept them whenever the Citation passed through a clearing. Most of the time, the jets managed to pull up once the trees reappeared, but one time one plane waited too long, and it crashed as its wings impacted the trees on both sides of the road. It tried to recover, but the sudden lack of wings made that kind of difficult, and the plane hit the road, bounced several times, and then fell off the side of the mountain into the valley below. Philip and Trevor exchanged a high five. "Yes!" Philip exclaimed as they came out onto 220 and turned south. "Two down and three to go!" "That's great, Phil," Trevor commented, "But have you considered that were coming on a straightaway?" "Straightaway?" Philip asked. Trevor tried to answer, but then a burst of laser fire cut across their path, several bolts hitting the Citation and shaking it. Philip kept control, and accelerated down the highway. "I can see how that _could_ be a problem..." he muttered as the car sped down the straightaway, Petty's planes in pursuit. "After them!" Petty yelled into the intercom as Sloop watched. "A million wernicks to the first plane that shoots them down!" "A _million_ wernicks? But General Petty, sir! We don't have any space in the budget!" Sloop tried to protest. "We'll worry about that later, Sloop! I WANT THAT SHIP!" Sloop watched as the ships continued to fire on the car. Meanwhile, Philip tried to dodge the laser blasts in the Citation. Needless to say, he wasn't doing _too_ well, but merely adequate. Another laser bolt hit the car. "The captain would like to inform you that we are about to encounter some slight turbulence..." Philip muttered. "_Slight_??? I'd hate to see your definition of _intense_!" Trevor shot back. This little 'joyride' had been taking it's toll on Trevor, and it showed. Philip, on the other hand, didn't seem to have much trouble accepting the situation. With a grin, Philip patted Trevor's shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry! This last portion of the trip should take care of them!" "I don't want to know, but I'll ask anyway: 'How, Philip?'" "Simple: _Slalom_." Trevor groaned. As the Appalachian Mountains approach the Maryland border, and the changes in altitude become less severe, the Department of Roads changes their methods of road-laying. Instead of having to place the roads on the sides of the mountains and to insure that no one goes over the edge, they can blast through the lower hills, leaving quick-and dirty mini-valleys with sheer rock faces. And it was this portion of the highway that the little band of flying vehicles was approaching. Philip accelerated, and flew as close to the road as possible. Petty's jets, on the other hand, flew above the cars. The first sharp turn was ahead. Philip, misjudging the size of the turn, scraped into the side of the hill before continuing on. "That was _too_ close!" blurted Trevor. "I _noticed_ that, Mr. Calrissian," replied Philip as he went into another high speed turn. All three planes were still behind him, while the Purple ship flew above the road rally. However, one of the planes was not expecting a turn this soon after the previous one, and before he could react, he hit the cliff face and exploded. The other two planes flew through the fireball after their quarry. The Citation continued on, past the Breezewood rest stop, and down Route 70, taking out another plane as the road turned east. The racers crossed the Maryland border, and the last plane met its end at yet another sharp turn in Route 70. Petty could not believe it! All five of his jets were down! By an _automobile_! There was _no_ way now that he would be able to earn the respect of Ray. Petty pushed forward on the controls, and accelerated towards the Citation-From-Hell. "Uh, Philip?" said Trevor as he saw something in the mirror. "Yeah?" he answered, his eyes on the road (?). "You know that big Purple ship that was hanging back during all this time?" Trevor continued, getting nervous. "What about it?" Philip asked, still not comprehending. "It's getting close. _Real_ close..." He looked again. This was not good... "How close?" Philip tried to ask, but was cut off as the nose of Petty's ship hit the back underside of the Citation, flipping it in the air. "AAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!" Philip and Trevor screamed in unison as the car pinwheeled and lost altitude _fast_. Philip worked furiously, applying the brakes, the accelerator, and the wheel in attempt to steady the descending vehicle. By some combination of skill and dumb luck (mostly dumb luck), the Citation finally steadied, and flew forward once again. Although they _were_ a few hundred feet lower than they were before, the situation was still the same. "_That_ close," Trevor deadpanned as they regained equilibrium. "Ohhkaayyyy...." Philip responded as he thought furiously. He had used up all his tricks in taking out the smaller planes, and now that they were coming out of the mountains, they wouldn't work anyway. Most of Maryland was much gentler land, and the changes in altitude would be much softer. The race now would be much more one of a matter of speed, of which the Purple ship had in abundance. "Trev, look in the book," Philip said as he brought the Citation on a course parallel to that of the Potomac River. "See if there's anything about carrier landings." Trevor's face suddenly changed into an expression somewhere between caution and accusation. "What are you planning, Phil?" "Just do it, ok?" "Ok...." He picked up the small book and flipped through it, as Philip swerved and dodged to avoid the enemy jet. Petty grinned as his command cruiser beared down on the fleeing vehicle. There was no way that the little car could outrun his ship -- all he needed to do is wait for the pilot to make a mistake or run out of fuel, and then it would be over, and Petty would head back to FOWL in triumph. He cackled, and then raised his eyebrow as the vehicle moved over towards the nearby river. He followed. "Well, what do you know..." muttered Trevor as Philip continued to drive. "Yeah, what?" Philip asked, now trying to deal with an alien ship behind him, boats to the sides of the him, bridges to the front of him, and water beneath him. "There _is_ a section on Carrier Landings. Beats me _why_..." Philip whooped in triumph. "YES! PERFECT!" he exclaimed, also taking out Trevor's hearing in the process. The Citation and the cruiser continued to race down the Potomac river. They avoided the river traffic with ease, and whenever they came to a bridge, the car would fly under while the jet would fly over the roadway. Up ahead, the Cabin John bridge began to loom. Philip muttered "Perfect" with a smile as he entered another code. Beneath the Citation, a long arm hinged at the middle of the car frame lowered itself at an acute angle towards the water. Philip raised the Citation slightly; and then, as the alien ship was about to pull up, he dove to mere inches above the water. The arrestor hook hit the water, sending up a gigantic wave of water behind it. The wave was directly in Petty's path, and his view was blinded by the spray. "Throw her in reverse!" Petty commanded. "We don't have any reverse, sir! Budgetary cutback!" Sloop replied. The two cringed, and covered their eyes. KRUNCH!!!! The cruiser wedged itself under the bridge arch, unable to move. "Your hat, sir?" said Sloop as he fished it out of the water. He handed it to Petty, who put it on. It emptied itself with a sploosh, drenching Petty even further than he was. He sighed. He was _not_ relishing talking to Ray. Philip and Trevor flew away from the final crash and back to UMD, following the beltway since Philip doubted that the Air Force would appreciate it if he had flown over the White House and the Capitol. They were flying over University Boulevard when Philip looked at the fuel guage. This wasn't good. "Uh, Trev?" "Yeah?" "The fuel's _past_ 'E'." "So?" Trevor replied, before the situation dawned on him. "Ohshit!" he said in a small voice. "Exactly." Just then, the engine began to sputter. "Hold on!" Philip yelled as he struggled to control the car. Wyndi Anderson, Rebecca Dodds, Peter DeGlopper, James Rogers, and Galen Silversmith (hereafter known as "The Blairites") drifted into the Atrium of Stamp Student Union. They looked around nervously, feeling terribly out of place. Seeing as how they were all still in high school, they *were* all out place, but that's beside the point. "Well, where's Philip?" James was the first to break the uneasy silence. "Obviously, not here," Rebecca answered matter-of-factly. Wyndi glanced around, looking for any sign of Philip. "Well, Pooh Bear *said* he'd meet us here. I'm sure he'll show up." Galen and Peter looked around the Atrium, surveying the people present. Noticing Aerianne enter (and the reactions from every male in the room except, strangely enough, the two schmucks lucky enough to be sitting with her), Peter leaned over to Galen and whispered, "Aren't you glad Trevor's not here?" Aerianne came back to their table. "Inc's almost done warming up, they'll be out in a a couple of minutes or so." She sat down with a worried look on her face. "_When_ is Philip going to get here? He's gonna miss Inc!" Rufus looked at his watch. "Well, given the estimated rate of speed for a flying Citation, the given distance to and from CMU, and the time of departure, I predict that he should be dropping by..." A high pitched whine caught the attention of the occupants of the Atrium, as a small shadow on the floor below the middle skylight began to grow. As the shadow grew, the noise became louder, until... K-K-K-K-R-R-R-R-A-A-A-A-S-S-S-S-H-H-H-H!!!! The Citation-from-Hell flew (plummeted, actually) through the center skylight, totalling it, and continued its way to the ground. Fortunately, there were no tables beneath it, so no one was hurt; but _unfortunately_, that meant that there was nothing to cushion the Citation's fall. It impacted the tile floor with the sound of, well, metal on tile. It bounced once, due to it's slightly undamaged suspension, and settled onto the ground, shedding pieces of glass. "...any time now," finished Gordo for him with a smile. 16) --- Erasable Inc. ------------------------------------------------- "Any crash you can walk away from, is a good crash!" -Launchpad McQuack There was total silence. The Citation lay there in the center of the Atrium, bits of twisted metal, broken glass, and cracked tile spread around it. If the Erasable Inc. troupe had been out there at the time, all thoughts of performing would have fled their minds, since it's pretty hard to compete with falling automobiles; but as it was, they were still warming up, and they missed the chance to be as stupefied as the rest of the Atrium was. A sudden noise caught Aerianne's attention. As she watched, the driver's side door opened, and a disheveled, _slightly_ shook up figure got out. "PHILIP!" yelled Aerianne, Wyndi, Rebecca, Peter, Galen, James, and Rufus at the same time, which surprised them all to no end. He exited the Citation with considerable delicacy, favoring several injured body parts at once. Aerianne moved to help him as he made his way around the crash site. "Don't worry about me, Aerianne," he said as she supported him as he walked. "Trevor's on the other side, and I think he's unconscious. We've got to get him out!" Gordo and Rufus moved over to the passenger side of the Citation to attempt to extract Trevor, while Aeri helped Philip to a nearby chair. Wyndi seemed none too pleased to hear that Trevor had joined this merry band. Fortunately for him, however, she seemed to be in the minority. "TREVOR?!?" inquired Rebecca as she came over to him. "What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Philip wasn't quite sure whether her tone of voice was due to concern for Trevor's welfare or agreement with Wyndi. He couldn't remember her *actually* denounce him (at least, not in the last few months), so he decided to assume that she was just concerned. "Well, I flew up to CMU to get him for the show and..." he tried to explain, but Peter cut him off. "You _flew_ to CMU? Yeah, right... And _I'm_ Dworkin!" "Well, you seem to be aging rather fast, Peter... Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Philip replied. "We've got him!" exclaimed Rufus as he and Gordo carried him out of the wreck and laid him on a clean piece of floor. Philip tried to get up as the rest of the Blairites tried to see how Trevor was. Gordo and Rufus held them back as Aerianne knelt by Trevor's side to examine him. "Trevor... Trevor?... Wake up..." she said as she gently touched his face to get a response. Trevor's face twitched twice, and he took a deep breath. "Come on, Trevor, you can do it..." she guided him on. He took another breath, and then his eyes slowly opened. He smirked and said two words. "Hello, Nurse!" Aerianne blinked. This was _not_ the response she had expected. "Excuse me?" she asked. Trevor looked at her (and looked and looked...) then the smile on his face widened. "Don't worry," he said, shaking his head to reassure her. "It's a toon thing." Behind him, despite his injuries, Philip dissolved into laughter. This was too much. "He's ok," Aerianne said as she got up, "But he's drooling for some reason..." "Hold on, let me look," Philip said as he made his way to Trevor's side. He made a cursory glance over his body, and not noticing any physical damage, moved onto the head. "Damn," Philip muttered to himself. "I should have expected this," he said to himself as he saw the trickle of blood from his nose that hadn't been there a second before. "Are you _really_ surprised?" asked Peter, who was observing. Wyndi sighed in disgust, while Rebecca just smiled, thinking how some things never change. Galen snickered at old grudges, and James tried, as always, to be above the rest of the group. It didn't work. It *never* worked. Wyndi sidled up to Philip, trying to get close to him. Philip, injured though he might have been, managed to put his arm around her, while she patted his head with a condescending, but cute, "My poor Pooh Bear..." Aerianne's eyebrows shot up. "'Pooh Bear'?" she asked. Philip looked nervously between the two, then sighed. "It's a long story." Aerianne's expression changed from one of surprise to one of slyness. "Well, then, you'll just have to tell me about it in your room sometime." Wyndi's whimper was even audible to Trevor. Now it was Philip's eyebrows' turn to shoot up. <_This_ is unexpected,> Philip mused to himself. "We'll talk about it later," he muttered to Aerianne, which drew an interesting glance from Rebecca. "Will you be quiet?" he asked Rebecca. "I didn't say anything," she said with a smirk. "Er..." he said, tring to change to another subject (ANY subject!). "Um, whatever... Come on, let's get to a table, I can hear Inc. coming." "You getting up, Trev?" asked James with a raised eyebrow. "Nope, just enjoying the view," he replied with a smile. Trevor got up with some reluctance, and they moved towards the table where Aeri, Gordo, and Rufus had been sitting. Gordo and Rufus took their original positions, while Philip took a seat opposite them. Aerianne sat next to Philip; whether she sat there out of concern or something more, he couldn't tell. Trevor sat next to Aerianne, and Philip _could_ tell that it wasn't out of _concern_ (more like unbridled lust). "Oh!" Philip exclaimed as he remembered. "I have't introduced you all yet. Gang, this is Gordo and Rufus, two friends I met over summer session. Gordo, Rufus, these are some of my friends from my old high school." He introduced each one of them in turn as they shook hands. Except for the two he had left out. Philip looked to the heavens. he thought to himself. "Aerianne, meet Trevor; Trevor, meet Aerianne," he said in the most neutral tone he could muster. "We've met," Trevor and Aerianne said at the same time, although Trevor said those words with a _leetle_ more affection than Aerianne said hers. [As of this printing, the Erasable Inc. performance that was planned to be placed at this point has not been written, due to the author's inability to attend any Erasable Inc. shows this semester. Once he attends another show, he will issue a reprint of the chapter -- Ed.] After the show ended, and the Erasable Inc. group disbanded for the day, Philip and Trevor described their day's adventure. Needless to day, the Blairites still had some trouble believing it. "I still don't believe this," Peter stated matter-of-factly. "You mean to tell me that you flew _up_ to Carnegie-Mellon in a Citation to to get Trevor, and then flew _back_ while being chased by alien fighters?" "That's it in a nutshell," Philip said with a sigh. "If you want proof, it's there on the tile in black, white, red, and grey. Speaking of which," he turned to Rufus, "I don't suppose you could make some changes?" "Like what?" "New radio, new suspension, cellular phone, Loran positioning, trip computer with maps, higher thrust, zero-zero seats, rollover capability, _increased_ gas mileage, higher maneuverability..." he ticked off his fingers as a wish list. "Well, I'll see what I can do." Rufus opened his notebook and began writing down what Philip had said. Philip then turned to Galen, hoping his next idea would work as well. "Galen, you wouldn't happen to have the REF manual on you?" "Actually, I do," he said as he opened his backpack and handed it to Philip. "I was just taking home for the week, but you can borrow it if you want to." "How long can I borrow it?" Philip asked as he thumbed through the pages. "As long as you want. A friend of mine borrowed all my other Robotech stuff, so I can't use it. I'll let you know when I need it back." "Okay," Philip acknowledged this, and then handed the book to Rufus. "Do you think you could build any of this?" he asked. Rufus flipped through the book. "I don't see why not...Although it _will_ take me a while, since I'll be starting from scratch..." "Good, good," Philip said with a smile. "That's fine by me." "Philip, why _do_ you want this stuff?" asked Aerianne. "Simple, Aerianne: 'Always get the coolest tech as soon as you can'. One of the guiding principles of TBGTSTUAKA." "Huh?" "I'll explain later." Once everyone had been introduced, people seemed to gravitate into groups. Rebecca, Wyndi, and Aerianne had seemed to have hit it off pretty well, once they had figured out what was going on. Galen, Peter, and Rufus were "ooh"ing and "aah"ing over something in the REF manual, and James and Gordo were talking about something intellectual that no one else had the stomach to get involved in. Philip and Trevor, meanwhile, were standing back, taking this whole situation into perspective. "Well, they seem to be getting along splendidly," Trevor commented. At that moment, the three girls whispered something between themselves and turned towards Philip. All three giggled in unison, then quickly turned back to talking amongst themselves. Philip's reaction was somewhere in between a shudder and a scowl. "Yes," he growled, "_splen_-didly." Philip looked at his watch and mildly panicked. "Uh, guys," he said, almost apologetically. "I'm sorry to say this," (OK, so it *was* apologetic) "but I've got a class to get to. Can you all get home?" "Home?" Trevor said. (Not asked, mind you; said.) "*Home,* Philip, is five hours away, now that your experiment in defying gravity is out of commission. HOWINTHEHELLAMISUPPOSEDTOGETHOME?!?!" "Uh... Greyhound?" Rufus and Gordo were calling helicopter airlift services for pulling out the Citation out of the Atrium. Trevor checked with the info desk and found out the local Greyhound number, from which he could find out when the next bus to CMU/Pittsburgh would leave, and the cost. Strangely enough, he was smiling broadly, even though he was facing a four and a half hour drive, as he walked towards the Metrobus that would take him to Union Station. "He'll email me once he gets back up to CMU," Aerianne was saying as he left the Union. "Good, I was worried about when he was going... to.. get.. back," Philip trailed off. His mind put two and two together, and the answer was _not_ five or three. "YOU GAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO **TREVOR**?!?!?!" he yelled, drawing strange glances from the passers-by. "So, what's wrong with that? He seems like a nice enough guy, if a little weird," Aerianne stated with a hint of annoyance at Philip's overreaction. "Ah, um, er, eh, huh, whe," Philip attempted to say, his mouth having trouble forming the words. "Philip, it's not that bad..." "But, but..." he tried to speak, "You don't _know_ Trevor!" "Come on, let's got check our mail," she said with utter unconcernedness, as if she had forgotten Philip's previous outburst. "For god's sake, Aeri! Trev's the next incarnation of Don Juan! He's got half of the phone numbers at Blair, and he _uses_ them!" "Philip, you're over-reacting..." "Of COURSE I'm overreacting! He's got the world's record for the shortest relationship!" "Well, whatever," she shrugged. "I'm not worried about that now." And with that, she headed for the computer lab. "You coming or not?" she turned and asked after she had walked a little ways away. Philip, startled, jerked his head up, and followed her to the Worcester lab. 17) --- Video Warriors ------------------------------------------------ "There can be only one." -- Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22 Philip's birthday had come and gone without much fanfare. Just a quick visit to home and back again, and everything was back to normal. Well, as about as normal as a Computer Science Major/ Theatre Minor student's life is about to get. As it was, he had puppets to build for the haunted house, a "Scripted Reading" to rehearse for, and various other classes to study for or do homework. "At least I've got my 330 project done," he muttered to himself. In fact he had finished it _much_ earlier than expected, and that gave him one less thing to worry about. Philip made his way to the Worcester lab to waste away some time before going to the Midnight Movie. "Hey, Philip," called out Aerianne as he entered the lab. "Hi, Aerianne," he said as he took a station next to her and logged on. He sighed, and stretched back, first checking behind himself to make sure it was clear. "Trevor's sent me another mail message," she said as Philip yawned. Philip blinked and came to attention. he smiled as he moved over to Aerianne's station. Philip looked at the Email message on Aerianne's screen. He shook his head. "Some things never change," he muttered to himself. Trevor was the only person he knew that would try to spark a relationship long distance over E-mail. The message read as follows: From ts4j+@andrew.cmu.edu Fri Oct 22 12:58:25 1993 Message-Id: <0gzrpZm00Vp095gX4W@andrew.cmu.edu> Date: Fri, 22 Oct 1993 12:54:45 -0500 (EST) From: Trevor W Schadt To: aerianne@wam.umd.edu Subject: Re: Highlander Musings ... >I'll admit that I'm interested in Highlander... I've seen the >series and I like it a lot, but what's the movie like? Well, next time I'm in Maryland, you can come over to the apartment and we'll rent it. ;-) (It'll be like a party) next06wor> Philip and Aeri raised an eyebrow at that last sentence, although for different reasons. "That's... interesting," Philip muttered to himself. Aerianne overheard him, and replied earnestly. "That doesn't seem like a bad idea... I'd like to see it, but I can't rent it, so why not find a friend who can?" She looked at Philip, who was still thinking; and shrugging, returned to her terminal. Philip thought for a moment longer, and then spoke up. "Actually... The Midnight Movie tonight _is_ Highlander... want to come see it?" he said hopefully. "It'd be better than seeing it on the small screen, and it'd have better sound..." he tried to convince her. "Well, I've got nothing better to do... Why not?" she acquiesced. "Cool!" he said with a relief that he was surprised to feel. Philip and Aerianne made their way to the Hoff theatre in the Student Union. Philip had never been to the Midnight Movie, but then again, neither had Aeri, so it was a new experience for them both. They bought their tickets, and went inside. The Hoff really wasn't remarkable, as movie theatres go. About 730 seats, one screen, high ceiling, and a small concessionary at the back of the theatre. What was making it remarkable were the _people_ attending the movie. Apparently, the Midnight Movie was an importaint social event to some. Over half, it seemed, had seen the movie before and were looking forwards to seeing it again. And they came prepared. Some came in trenchcoats, while others came in biker leathers. And several seemed to have brought... swords? Philip thought to himeself as they sat down close to the center aisle. "Who's that?" asked Aerianne as a heavily-built character in a leather armless jacket and torn jeans, his hair tied back, strode down the aisle carrying a double-bladed (toy) axe. "I don't want to know..." Philip muttered to himself, but then the house darkened. People settled in their seats as the exit warnings and ads played, and then they quieted as a voice spoke over the sound system. Words appeared on the screen as the voice spoke. "From the dawn of time we came, moving slowly down through the centuries, leading many secret lives. Struggling to reach the time of the Gathering, when the few who remain, will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you... until now." <<>> Philip and Aerianne left the theatre about three hours later. It had been an enjoyable experience for all attending, and they had stayed after to chat with some of the people there. Some people Philip and Aerianne knew from the anime society were there, and they even talked with the guy who had dressed like the Kurgan. But then finally, they had to leave; and saying their goodbyes, Aerianne and Philip stepped into the cold night air. "So...whadja think?" Philip asked as they walked back towards their dorm. "I LOVED IT!" Aerianne exclaimed as she performed a neat little spin, arms raised in a manner reminiscent of Connor's gaining of the prize. "That was the greatest movie I've ever seen!" "Glad you liked it," Philip replied with a smile. They continued to walk, discussing the movie, until Aerianne asked with a smile, "Could I borrow your golf umbrella for a while?" "Sure... why?" he asked as he handed it to her. He had brought it, just in case of rain (you can never be too careful, when dealing with Maryland weather). "What are you going to do with it?" "Simple... this!" With an evil grin, she made a lunging attack at Philip as he tried to get out of the way. "Ack!" Philip exclaimed as he dodged. "What the heck was that for?" he attempted to say as he evaded Aeri's attacks. "Aw, come _on_, Philip!" she said, laughing, continuing her attack. "Defend yourself!" Philip continued to dodge (barely) out of her way. Finally, having enough, he dodged and reached into his backpack for something. He pulled it out, and as Aeri moved to swing, he extended the pop-up umbrella and held it in his hand like a sword. He blocked the blow with his small umbrella, surprising Aerianne. "Where'd you get _that_?" she exclaimed as Philip began to attack back. "'Always have a backup!' Another principle of TBGTSTUAKA!" he said as they dueled their way back to the dorm. "You still haven't explained to me what that tubgutstu-whatever is," she said she blocked an attack, and then followed up with one of her own. "It's simple, Aeri.... hold on, Holy Ground!" he said as he raised his hand to stop, as they were approaching Memorial Chapel. But Aeri continued to duel. "That only counts if you're _inside_!" she said with a smile as she swung the umbrella towards Philip's neck, stopping it before it hit his neck. "!" Philip exclaimed in surprise. "There can be only one," she whispered with a smile before removing the umbrella from the vicinity of his neck. "You were saying?" she said with a laugh. Philip laughed as well, although not as heartily as Aerianne had. "Well," he said as he straightened himself, "Take all of UF, and I mean _all_, compress it down to a booklet, and you have TBGTSTUAKA: The Beginner's Guide To Saving The Universe And Kicking Ass." They continued to walk towards the dorm. "Ah, I understand... I think..." "Well, whatever... It's really just a concept I came up with on IRC one night... Maybe one of these days I'll write it," he shrugged. "Well, we'll just have to see," she said as they finally got back to their dorm. Philip opened the door for them, and closed it solidly once they were inside. "Oh, by the way, thank you," she said with a wink as she entered her suite, holding Philip's umbrella. "Uh... you're welcome!" Philip added as the door closed. THE NEXT DAY Philip finished his slice of dining hall pizza (tolerable, palitable, and sometimes soluble), and made his way to Hornbake. He checked his watch as he entered: 4:30. Early as usual. He went downstairs to the UGLI lab and logged on briefly to check his mail. Seeing as there was none, he logged out and went upstairs. Five flights of stairs later (counting the basement), he was on the fourth floor, and he made his way to the multimedia viewing room. Since he _was_ early, he had to wait for the library to open the room; but then again, that meant he was able to kibbitz with some of the other memebers of TAS. He was showing some of his first attempts at drawing to John Staton when the librarian finally opened the room. Those that were already there went inside. Philip was setting up his stuff for the show when Aerianne and Gordo finally arrived. They came up to the front row and sat next to him, Aerianne on one side, and Gordo on the other. Curiously enough, Aerianne was wearing a blue trenchcoat, and he could see inside its folds his umbrella (as well as... *ahem*... other...undocumented... features...). "Hey, Aeri?" "Hmmm?" asked Aerianne, who was leaning back in her chair. "Now that you've used my umbrella, could I have it back, please?" Aerianne thought for a moment, and then shook her head. "Nope," she said with a smile. "Hey! That's _my_ umbrella!" Philip began to protest, but a solid hand on his shoulder stopped him cold. "Aerianne has made her decision, Philip," Gordo said from behind him, "I would advise it if you did _not_ anger her, I do not believe it to be wise." Philip turned to look at Gordo, who even sitting, towered over him; and then looked at Aerianne. She was grinning evilly, and had one hand on the "hilt" of the umbrella. Philip gulped, and changed the topic quickly. "So... Why didn't Rufus come with you?" "He stated that he had an exam to study for, so I decided to leave him there. However, _I_ believe that it was because TAS was not going to show any mecha-related anime," replied Gordo. Philip snickered. Rufus's desire for things technical had caused him to be rather ignorant of other forms of media. Although he _had_ professed an interest in _Lodoss Wars_, even though Philip couldn't figure out why. First up was a selection from _Robot Carnival_, the "Nightmare" sequence that looked like a cross from "A Night On Bald Mountain" and "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow". Philip muttered something about "well, I guess Rufus was wrong. His problem," before continuing to watch. Next came an... interesting little piece called _Devilman_ (we won't go into the details here). The next was a full sized film, _Vampire Hunter D_, which was a very nice gothic horror mixed with several anime touches that only added to the story. Finally, there was another OAV called _Yotoden_. Philip noticed that Aerianne sat up straight when the translated title of the OAV was "Legend Of the Demon Sword". He resolved to keep an eye on her for the rest of the night. When the screen was showing a _very_ unique battle scene, Philip looked at Aeri out of the corner of his eye. She had that look again, the exact same look she had had when watching Highlander the night before. 18) --- After Hours --------------------------------------------------- "Listen to them -- the children of the night. What music they make!" --Count Vlad Dracula of Wallachia WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10 "Mr. Ray?" asked Korzon as he entered Ray's office. "Yes, Korzon," he replied indifferently. "You asked to be informed when the new project was completed?" "Ah, yes, I did ask that," he said as he got up from his seat. "Well, let's go look at our new pets, shall we?" A short ride later, Korzon and Ray arrived at FOWL's biosci division. They entered the livestock pens, where the new 'arrivals' were being kept. "Are all the creatures ready for use?" "Yes sir," replied Korzon, playing the part of the toady, which irritated him no end. "All the animals are well within specifications." "Excellent. After the failure of those hired terrorists to increase the crime rate of College Park, we need something that will guarantee a crisis situation. These... creatures should do nicely." He considered them for a moment, and then added, "And they should be more... obedient than some others that work for me, eh?" "Yes sir," answered Korzon, not missing the reference. "The nanotrackers and processors have been directly linked to their minds, allowing them to be recalled if necessary." "Excellent." Ray turned to go, but then caught something out of the corner of his eye. "What's this?" he said nonchalantly as he turned towards another cage, this one containing three creatures that looked quite similar to the others, but who had slight 'differences'. Namely thumbs, and the fact that they seemed to be paying attention to Ray's words. "I believe we already talked about taking one's initiative?" "Sir," Korzon replied, trying to make the best of a deteriorating situation, "It was believed by some of our staff that breeding some with more intelligence would make them more 'commandable,' and would eliminate the need for a remote monitoring station..." "Kill them." "What?!" Both Korzon and the three beings inside the cage reacted to this statement. "I have a need for efficient killing machines here, Korzon. I do not need beings that can possibly countermand or ignore orders. I have enough already." Ray left the lab, leaving a worried Korzon in his wake. It was 1 am. The party had gone off without a hitch, but Charley, true to his nature, had had a little too much to drink. Unable to get at his keys, which had fortunately been taken at the door, he wandered outside in a drunken stupor. He walked aimlessly around the frat house, just waiting for his nervous system to say "That's IT! I've HAD it! You can walk home by YOURSELF, buster!" and leave him on the ground, uncouncious. As he walked, he sang little snippets of songs, which when tied together, made absolutely no sense. As he turned one corner, he heard a sound, which to him, sounded like someone pouring beer. Still in his stupor, he moved towards it. The sound deepened to a growl, and as Charley's brain finally realized what sort of trouble it had gotten into, the only thing he was able to say was, "Uh, does this mean no funnels?" "BRUTAL SLAYING NEAR FRATERNITY!" the headline cried out in _The Diamondback_. "Early this morning, Charles Flippenhouse, age 23, was found brutally murdered next to the Beta Lambda Tau fraternity. There were no witnesses to the murder, but investigators say that the cause of death was by knife or some other serrated object..." And it was not the only time this happened. Over the next four days, more reports of the slasher murderer were posted in the paper. Police patrols were stepped up in a valiant effort to prevent the killings, but they seemed to be totally random and unpremeditated, occurring all over campus. The only sure data that could be ascertained was that the killings occurred in open areas, far away from crowds, and very late at night... Of course, Philip wasn't concerned about this new threat to the campus. He was worried about something much more immediate and threatening than any simple anonymous slasher murderer. Namely: HE HAD AN EXAM TOMORROW!!! And not just any exam, but the dreaded Theatre 110 exam, with history questions guaranteed to confuse the unprepared student. He needed to get a study partner, and fast! But who did he know close by that had 110? Philip exited his suite and crossed to the door across the hall. Philip knocked on the door. A voice came from inside. "Who is it?" "Aeri? It's me, Philip." "Oh, hi Philip!" said Aerianne as she opened the door. "What's wrong? Why are you so nervous? You look like you forgot something important!" "Well, you could put it that way... Could you help me?" "With what?" "Could you quiz me for our 110 exam?" "Sure! Hold on, let me get my notes." Aerianne went back to her suite and got her Theatre folder and textbooks. She sat down on the bed while Philip sat at his desk. "Ok, who was... Aristophanes?" "Greek, writer of old and middle comedy." "What was the skene?" "Greek scene house." Philip opened his notebook and began taking notes. "Name the evaluation criteria for the actor..." And so it went. An hour later, the two had gone completely through the Classical, Hellenistic, Republic, and Empire periods, and were about to go into the Medieval period of drama. Taking a break, Philip handed a water bottle to Aeri while he drank from another. Flipping through the textbook, Aerianne commented, "Have you heard about the recent killings?" "A little. The Diamondback had an article, but I glanced over it. I didn't pay much attention. I was thinking about other things. Like 'How does the director hold Focus'." "Well, did you know that the attacks were happening late at night, against individuals?" "Yeah, the article mentioned that. They also advised that people travel in groups." "But you walk home alone from the lab regularly. Isn't it a little... *dangerous* to be out so late?" "Well, yeah," Philip admitted, "but I'm used to it. Gives me time to think, walk, and sing along to the songs in my walkman. I mean, there was a shooting out by the basketball courts about a month ago, and I totally missed it! The probability that I'd get hurt is rather small." "Even so,..." "Don't worry," said Philip, pulling out a loose sheet of paper. "I can take care of myself..." "Mmmmm..." Aerianne mumbled, still very concerned. "Don't worry, 'Marge'," Philip replied, in reference to the cartoon character she had unconsciously imitated. Aerianne threw a pillow at him. "Ow! Why you..." He retaliated by launching a tribble at her. "Hey! Grrr..." The serious mood lost, Aerianne launched another pillow at him, following up with a small barrage of koosh balls. But Philip was ready with more tribbles, as well as a stuffed Figment and a garfield ball. The escalation continued as each side reused the other's ammo, resembling in a way an octopus's failed attempt to juggle, until a motion from Aerianne brought the combat to a halt. "Watch it, I've got a hostage!" she said with an evil gleam in her eye. In one hand, she held the last pillow; in the other, she held Philip's small Winnie The Pooh. Philip quailed (and bushed). "So, what's it gonna be? Admit defeat, or does the bear get it?" she said, as she motioned what she was planning to do with the bear. Philip thought fast. Summoning an extra bit of resolve, Philip backed up towards the coat rack, speaking along the way to distract her as he picked up his 'polar assault suit'. "Don't you know I don't negotiate with terrorists?" "Huh?..HEY!! Auughpth!" she exclaimed as Philip tossed the heavy coat on top of her. While Aerianne was momentarily blinded, Philip dashed and grabbed. Holding Pooh aloft, he crowed in triumph. "Hah! I win!" Which meant (of course) that he didn't notice Aerianne get out from under the coat and throw Philip's red blanket over him. Philip, going down, but used to such maneuvers, retaliated by taking the other blanket and tossing it over Aerianne. Within moments, they were both down on the floor, totally tangled within the blankets. The combat slowed down as the antagonists ability to battle was hampered by the obstructions. Philip's head poked out from within the folds of the red blanket. "Um, where were we?" he said with a confused but earnest smile. "Something about studying..." Aerianne replied as she extricated herself from the other blanket, with very much the same smile on her face. "Ah, yeah..." he said as he began to look around. "I think the textbook's around here _somewhere_." 19) --- University Of Maryland, Jurrasic Park ------------------------- "Evolution Doesn't Take Prisoners" -- lizard MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15 8:59 pm. Philip was in his dorm early, since he had wanted to catch up with his sleep. For once, he didn't have any major projects due, and he hoped that tonight would be rather quiet. "What does one do with so much free time?" he mused out loud. Just then, the phone rang. Philip answered it. "Hello?" "Hi, this is Joy, from 330? Are you interested in doing a scene? One of my actors couldn't make it, and your name was on the list, so..." "Yeah, I might. When is rehearsal?" Philip got out his scheduler. "Rehearsal is tonight and tomorrow night to 10:00, and the scene is Wendsday at 3." Philip looked at his watch. 9:00. "Could you hold on for a moment?" "Ok." Philip looked at his schedule book. Yep, both programs were done, and the studying for the Statistics exam could be easily squeezed in. Philip returned to the phone. "Ok, I'm in!" "Great! Can you be there by 10?" "Yeah, I can." "Thanks, see you there," and she hung up. Philip packed up his bag. he though to himself, "Strange how time seems to fill itself," he chuckled to himself as he left the dorm. "I must be addicted to stress or something..." Five minutes later, he was at the Worcester computer lab. Sitting down at a NeXTstation, he noticed Aerianne sitting one over. She did the same, and waved him over. "Hi, Phil!" "Hi, Aeri! What'cha doing?" "Writing another paper." "Another? I thought you were done with them for that class!" "Of course not," she chuckled. "This is a *honors* class, and they're very into the 'paper thing'." "Of course." Philip sat down and logged on. "What are you doing up here, anyway? Didn't you finish your programs?" "Yeah, I did, but I managed to get myself roped into a 330 scene, and it's at ten, so I decided to kill some time." "A 330 scene? That's great!" "Thanks, I'm glad you feel that way." "When do rehearsals start?" "I have one tonight and one tomorrow, at 10." "Philip..." she said, with a concerned look on her face. "Yeah, Yeah, I know, I know, 'Is It Safe?'" "Phil..." she replied with a stern look. "Ok, Ok, Ok," he said, mock-cringing. "I'll let you escort me home, 'Marge'" he sarcasmed. Aerianne laughed. "Silly," she waved him back up. "You're right though, I'm mother henning a bit. Just be careful," she said as he packed up to leave. "Don't worry. What could happen?" Philip exited the lab. * * * * After the 330 rehearsal, Philip returned to the lab. Aeri noticed him enter, and got up. "Phil!" "Hi, Aeri," Philip went over to her station, and looked at the terminal. "You almost done?" "Yep." A few clicks and drags, and the file was on its way to the printer. She logged out and gathered up her stuff. On the way out, she picked up the history paper. Philip held her bag as she pulled on her dark blue trenchcoat. "Your bag, Madame?" he french butlered. "Thank you very much," she smiled as she took the bag back. They went outside into the cold night. As they walked back to their dorm, Philip offered an open bag of chips to Aerianne. "Dorito?" "Sure!" Aerianne took an handful and began munching. "Where'd you get them?" "From our 330 scene director." "Oh, what's the scene like?" she continued to munch, unknowingly catching the attention of something not human... Back at FOWL's biosci monitoring room, a lone gleepian tech was monitoring the various creatures movements through their eyes and ears, as well as the radio transponders indicating their positions. One monitor caught his attention, and he zoomed the image. he thought as he saw Philip and Aerianne walking. With his teke, he switched off the 'HUNTING INSTINCT OVERRIDE' for the closest creatures. <<>> "Wait a second..." Aerianne stopped, and turned around. "Did you you hear something?" "I don't think so....LOOK OUT!" yelled Philip as something darted out of the bushes, something big, brown, fast, and scaly. "Whatthehell?" replied Aerianne as Philip shoved her out of the path of the oncoming reptile. Reptiles that Philip recognized. "Raptors? How? Who?" he blurted, taking a good look as the Velociraptors ran past them and turned around to attack again. Aerianne grabbed his arm. "Never mind that, we've got to run!" "You know, you may be right," he responded as they broke into a run. "Where to?" he yelled as the Raptors took up the chase. "Tawes!" Aerianne yelled back as they ran up the hill towards the Tawes Fine Arts building. "It's the closest!" The two darted across Campus Road, barely avoiding the oncoming late night traffic. Most of the raptors simply leaped over the oncoming traffic in pursuit of their quarry. Aerianne and Philip dashed across the small plaza between Tawes and Anne Arundle Hall. They could hear the raptors right behind them, and therefore they decided to skip the usual five small steps and go for one large step, putting them right in front of the lobby doors. Aerianne, the first one there, opened the first door she came across, and tossed Philip inside as he arrived. She then joined him as she slammed the door closed on a raptor and dropped to the floor. From their position on the floor, they could hear the first raptor hit the door with a . They caught their breath as the raptors prowled outside, hissing. "What were those things?" gasped Aerianne. "_Velociraptor Rapensis_, although from its size it would seem to be a cross between _Rapensis_ and _Utahraptor_," replied Philip, much in the same state as Aerianne. "Although I don't want to know _how_ they got here and why..." "How do you know about them?" "I read 'Jurassic Park'." "What?" "Nevermind," sighed Philip. "Well," she said, getting up, "At least they can't get inside..." "Ummm, I'm not so sure about that..," he said as he rose. "In the movie and the book, they were able to open doors..." A sudden noise caught their attention. Philip's eyes widened as one door opened of its own accord. "Althoughinthiscasethehandicappedentrancemightdoinapinch! RUN!" Philip and Aerianne darted around the corner and down the short hall to the Pulgiese Theatre. The raptors were momentarily stopped by the double doors, but it was enough; the humans made it to the stairwell and to the ground floor before the raptors entered the hall itself. A few quick turns and dashes later, they were in the ET hallway, and they began trying doors. "Damn! Locked!" Philip swore. "Maybe not," remarked Aerianne as she turned the corner to the loading doors. Philip followed her to the shop door, where she kneeled and pulled a set of lockpicks out of her trenchcoat pocket. Philip blinked. "Where'd you get those?" "Rebecca loaned them to me," she replied offhandedly as she worked on the lock. "Keep an eye out for them." "Um, yeah," he said, looking down the long hall towards the tv studios. This hall was wider than the ET hall, and there was a lot more ceiling space for a raptor to jump in if it so chose. Philip was not comforted. "How long?" he asked. "Shhh....be quiet!" she whispered, concentrating. Philip shut up. He could now hear the raptors approaching. "Aeri!!!" he hissed. The sound was getting closer. "Hold on! I'm almost there!" Louder. "There! Got it!" The raptors turned the corner, and saw him. The one in the lead ran for him. "Good, great!" yelled Philip, as he hauled the door open and shoved Aerianne inside before slamming the door behind him. The raptor turned and skidded, trying to adjust; it slipped and impacted hard on Bill Brandwien's office door. The two pulled down some ladders to form a crude barricade across the now-unlocked door. Aerianne and Philip took stock of the situation as the raptors tried to get in through the barricade. "Well, we can't stay here all night, and I doubt David would appreciate them on the _Brighton_ set..." Aerianne started. "And we can't sneak out..." "...so we're going to have to fight them to get out." "Excuse me?" This was not a good sign. "Is there anything else you can remember about the raptors?" she asked as she began to work on the tool closet lock. "Well, they can handle low electrical shocks, have six inch killing spurs on the feet, strong claws, hunt in packs, have hundreds of shearing teeth, are carnivorous, and they are no fun at parties," he responded as she opened the cabinet and began to work on the power tool cabinet. "Anything else?" She opened the cabinet, and then returned to the tool cabinet. "Not that I can recall," he replied. "Now what?" he asked her as she got several objects from the shelves. "Take these," said Aerianne as she handed him a matte knife and a Makita with a drill bit, "just in case." "Oh, joy, hand-to-hand with raptors in Tawes," he deadpanned as he 'holstered' the makita and placed the matte knife in his sweatshirt pocket. "Now, you start setting up stuff here, and I'll prepare something else on mainstage just in case," she continued. Pulling a ladder over to reach the tool deck, she climbed up and began to work on the final cabinet. Meanwhile, Philip began to shift the equipment around on the shop floor and plug things in. Finally, Aerianne came down the ladder with a pair of cable cutters. "I don't even want to _think_ what you're planning to use that for," Philip commented as he was unbolting the chopsaw. "No, it's for something else," she said as she opened the door to the stage proper and went onstage. Philip went up the stairs to the paint deck and brought down several cans of latex and opened them. He then pulled several good sized pieces of two by four and laid them out, as well as several pieces of square tube steel. "I wish National Players were still here, then we could borrow their props," he said to himself as Aerianne re-entered from the stage, gently propping open doors for quick closing. "Why?" she asked as she got a pair of gloves and goggles for herself and Philip. "So we could borrow the maces they had for _Romeo & Juliet_," he answered as he accepted and put the gloves and goggles on. "I figure you would like them, at least," he continued. Aerianne smiled, and then picked up the square tube steel. "Why don't we use the Arc Welder?" she asked, as she swung the steel experimentally. "No, we don't have enough time. Those raptors are getting impatient." Indeed, the raptors were beginning to shove aside the barrier. Suddenly, he came up with a thought. "Now *there's* a concept!" Philip exclaimed, as he headed over to the shop's Arc Welder. "I thought you just said that we didn't have time?" "To build them, yes. To _kill_ *them*, no!" he said as he pulled the arc welder over and plugged it in. Taking a face mask, he handed another to Aeri, took the control rod in one hand and handed the ground source to her. "But you said that they can handle shocks." "Not this high," he said as he turned it on. The welder started with a hum. "Ready?" he asked. "Ready," Aerianne replied, nodding. "CLEAR!" In the biolab, the Gleepian watched as the two humans set up a crude barrier across the door, and made preparations to try to kill the Raptors. the tech thought to himself. He readied to boost the adrenalin dose on the Lead Raptor. Then, he noticed something. One of the humans was pulling out a low, red box with cables. "What's this?" the gleepian said out loud. He watched as the male handed one of the cables to the female, and then they approached the raptor. "What are they..." the gleepian was cut off as a sudden electrical pulse ripped through the raptor, shorting out its electronics, and incedentially killing it. "No!" yelled the tech as the image from that raptor turned to snow. he panicked. He boosted the adrenalin levels in the other raptors. "Well, that was... fun..." Philip commented as the raptor dropped dead. "Now what?" commented Aeri as she lifted her face shield and wrinkled her nose at the smell. "Wait until the other ones break through?" offered Philip. Aeri shrugged in response. Suddenly, the raptors stiffened as nanopumps within their bodies began cranking out adrenalin. Moving as one, the raptors charged the barricade, and broke through. "Well, _thank you_ for giving them suggestions, Philip Moyer!", she said as she dropped into a combat stance with the two pieces of steel in her hands. Philip, flinging aside the arc welder controls, picked up a bucket of paint and moved it in a quick arc, sending a river of burnt umber towards the raptors. The paint hit them, and some of the raptors were temporarily blinded. Aerianne then went into action. Flying into the midst of the throng, she used the square tube steel to parry and block the raptor's claws and teeth, while at the same time attempting to cave in their heads with successive blows. Philip, not one for these Shampoo tactics, opted for his other method. Flinging another can of paint at the raptors, he managed to completely blind at least two of them. Making a quick dash for the now dehinged chop saw, he picked it up and pulled the trigger. Acting more like a giant 16" circular saw now than a stationary chop saw, the steel carbide-tipped blade made quick work of the raptor's hands, and then the neck of the raptor itself. Philip turned on the other raptors and repeated the process. Aerianne, making progress against the third raptor, failed to notice another one come at her from the side. As she went for the killing blow, the other's talons dug into her shoulder. "AARRGH!!!" she cried out through clenched teeth. She collapsed to her knees. The raptor moved in for the kill. "Aeri!" Running over to the raptor, Philip rammed the blade into its back, severing the spinal cord. The raptor keeled over. Philip swung the saw menacingly towards the remaining raptors, keeping them back as Aerianne got to her feet. The raptors backed up as Philip advanced. One of the raptors, backing up too far, got its foot tangled in an extension cord. As it moved further back, the movement pulled the cord out of the wall socket. The blade, its source of power interrupted, spun down and stopped. The raptor made its version of a smile (lots and lots of teeth), and advanced. "Quick, go to plan B!" Aerianne said as she prepared to drive off the raptors, even through her pain. "Plan B? I thought we were making this up as we went along!" yelled Philip as he threw down the chop saw. Making a run for the table saw, he turned it on and raised the blade. Moving it between them and the Raptors, he shoved it directly into their path. The one in the front was buckled over onto the saw, and onto its blade in particular. Philip and Aeri retreated through the stage doors, closing them behind them. They wouldn't stop the raptors, but they would at least slow them down. The two humans ran towards the fly gallery. Philip looked up and gulped. "You're planning to go up there, I see..." 68 feet was nothing to sneeze at. "Well, I don't think they can jump up there," she said, preparing to climb the spiral staircase to the loading rail. "No, but there is one problem." Philip mentioned. "What?" Aerianne turned towards him. "I can't handle heights. 20 feet's my limit..." he said apologetically. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Philip shrugged. "Never mind, just get over here." Aerianne pulled Philip over to one lineset that had been emptied of its stage weights. She handed him a web safety harness. "Put this on," she said distractedly, as she picked up the cable cutters that she had left there. "Uh, why?" Philip responded as he did so. "Simple. You're bait. Don't look at me in that tone of voice," she said to Philip's 'Oh-my-god-she-must-be-crazy' look. "I _am_ leaving you a weapon," she continued as she handed him the pneumatic nail gun that she had preset, as well as several extra strips of sixteen penny nails. "Just stand on the carriage base, and aim towards the door." She clipped the harness onto the sides of the carriage. "I'll take care of the rest." "Er, ok," he mumbled, as she checked him over one last time. Philip could hear the raptors finally getting through the last of the shop doors. Aeri picked up the cable cutters, turned, and began to run up the stairs two steps at a time. Which is pretty impressive when you realize that this was a _spiral_ staircase that was almost seventy feet tall. But Philip had no time to marvel at this stunning display of stamina, since there were still four raptors to take care of. Raising the nail gun and pulling back the safety with his left hand, he pulled the trigger. A sixteen penny nail flew through the air and hit the stage door. Needless to say, the raptors were unimpressed. They continued to approach. Philip panicked. Pulling the trigger wildly, he launched nail after nail, sending accelerated pieces of steel across the backstage. Incredibly enough, some of the nails actually hit their intended targets, creating very picturesque puncture wounds that slowed them down. But it still didn't stop them. Meanwhile, up on the loading rail, Aerianne watched as the raptors withstood Philip's assault. What she was about to do depended on split second timing. If she went early, the raptors would be able to dodge. If she went late, well, Philip's death would be her fault. She blocked the thought from her mind as she readied the cable cutters around the lineset's rope. She looked down. Just as the raptors were an arm's length of making Philip their midnight snack, Aerianne cut the rope. The loaded batten, which had been held in check by the pinlock, was suddenly free to move. And it did. Philip yelped and dropped the gun as the counterweight carriage suddenly flew up of its own accord. Momentarily surprised by this sudden movement, the Raptors moved backwards. Big mistake. The loaded batten roared downwards, being pulled by 60 pounds of bottom batten and almost 100 pounds of painted muslin, as well as the 60 pounds of top batten. It hit the stage floor hard, and one raptor was flattened by the impact of the batten on its back. The other three were now pinned under several hundred square feet of unbleached painted muslin, which they tried to escape. Back at the top of the lineset, Aerianne was helping Philip out of the counterweight carriage. Needless to say, Philip was upset. "Whatthehellwasthatallabout?!?!Youtryingtokillmeorsomething?!?!" he yelled at Aerianne, who was now looking over the loading rail to the stage floor. "We'll talk about it later! Now throw!" So saying, she picked up a ten pound stage weight and threw it towards the closest raptor-shaped lump in the muslin. It hit, creating a irregular red blotch on the muslin. Philip, getting the hint, picked up several more stage weights and sent them to the floor. Before long, the drop began to resemble a Jackson Pollock painting instead of a sky drop. One raptor tried to make a comeback by ripping the muslin and climbing out, but Aeri was ready. The last stage weight hit it directly between the eyes. It fell over, quite dead. Philip and Aerianne made their way down the spiral staircase down to the stage floor. Along the way, Philip made his position quite clear. "What the _HELL_ were you thinking, Aerianne? I don't care _what_ you've seen at the TAS meetings, but this is real life, not anime!" "LOOK, Philip!" she retorted, turning around and facing him. "You were the one who was all of a sudden afraid of heights! I was fully ready to be the bait! I had planned it that way, but when you said that wouldn't be able to handle the height, I had to think fast. It was either you go the fast way up, or us both becoming raptor chow!" Philip moved back at this verbal diatribe. Aerianne turned down the stairs in a huff. Realizing that he had made a serious error (doubting someone), Philip caught up to her, caught her shoulder, and apologized. "I... I didn't know...I'm sorry..." he said to her quietly. "I should have waited until I calmed down to ask you why...." Aerianne appeared to be placated by this, but not taking any chances, Philip attempted to clear the air a little with some humor. "Well, I guess we'd better start cleaning up. I don't think David would be pleased to have bloodstains in the shop." "I don't think so," replied Aerianne, some of her humor returning. They reached the stage floor, and looked over the carnage they had wrought. "Damn. We're going to need some help cleaning this...Phil, you call Gordo and Rufus, and I'll open up the shop doors." "Gotcha." One phone call and five minutes later, Gordo and Rufus entered the warzone/shop. Gordo looked over the devastation. "I see that you two have been... enjoying yourselves?" "Gordo!" Philip exclaimed, embarrassed. Gordo just chuckled. Rufus moved over to one of the corpses and looked it over. "Would it be ok if I took a couple of these back?" he said, looking up at Philip, who was wiping off the table saw. "I'd like to learn more about them" "Take them back to the dorm? What, you're going to store them in the refrigerator or something?" "No, I mean to the lab," Rufus responded. Philip pondered for a moment, and then answered. "Sure, go ahead. I don't think you'll find them much use anymore, except for the bargain bin at Giant." "Thanks...Um, how _will_ I get them back to the lab?" he asked, seriously. "Well," added Philip, "There's the shop truck, but I don't have the keys...Although," he said, turning towards Aerianne, who was helping Gordo as they carried a raptor offstage. "Hey, Aeri!" he called out. "Do you think those 'picks of yours could start a truck?" "Let's find out," she smiled as she put the raptor body on the ground. Philip moved to help Gordo as Aerianne went outside to open the truck. They carried the last two bodies offstage, and then got to work on the drop. "What about the pipe battens?" commented Gordo, as he and Philip folded the bloodstained drop, which had been detached from the battens. "Oh, don't worry about them. David won't notice they're missing until the next hang." "Ah." 20) --- Hellicott Hall ------------------------------------------------ "Be it ever so crumbled, There's no place like home." --BJ The next day, after classes, Philip headed over to the Engineering building to see what Rufus had learned. A section of the lab building had been partitioned off to serve as Rufus's own personal lab, a fact that pleased the instructors to _no_ end, seeing as it was a _large_ section. Stopping at the Engineering Taco Bell to get a quick dinner, Philip then made his way to Rufus's section. When he arrived, he could see Gordo, Rufus, and Aerianne standing around a stainless-steel lab table, 'appropriated' from the Chemistry Building. A single light hung over the table, illuminating the form resting on it. Aerianne noticed him and waived him over. "The nearest that I can figure," said Rufus as they stood around the lab table where one of the dead raptors lay, dissected, "is that this is a _genetically bred_ creature, made from DNA samples taken from the stomachs of dead mosquitoes and other biting insects from the late Jurrasic period." "You read the book, didn't you?" Philip said, smug in his deduction. "What book?" Philip blinked. He waived Rufus to go on. "Anyway, as I was doing my analysis, I noticed something strange in the cranial region, as well as around several glands. Intrigued, I looked further." Rufus moved over the raptor, and pulled something that had been attached on the inside of the skull. It came loose with an organic ripping sound, as various fibers tore loose. He held it up, and the small bead with its various interface wires, as thin as human hair, glittered in the light. Philip whistled. Aerianne and Gordo, for their part, wondered why Philip was whistling. "Cyberware?" Rufus nodded. "Great, just great," he muttered. "Velociraptors with cyberware... when did my life turn into fanfic?" "I'm not sure, Philip," answered Aerianne. "Either back at the Bagel Place, the crash into the Atrium, or the Raptor attack last night." Philip grumbled. "So, who could have done this?" asked Gordo, finally entering the conversation. "I do not believe that _any_ modern nation today has the capabilities to reproduce the raptors or to develop the cyberware." "The only people that _I_ could even closely think could do this would be the WDF, but they're at least several dimensions and timezones away," Philip commented ruefully. "No, I found this." Rufus pulled over a magnifier with a light, and placed it so that one side of the bead was magnified. VRMK1 ATTACK UNIT TRANSMITTER ARRAY SERIAL NO. 000100 MNFCTRD ON 7/1/93 PROPERTY OF: FOWL "So you believe that _FOWL_ is responsible for the campus attacks?" asked Gordo. Aerianne and Philip gave him a 'No, DUH!' look that could have vaporized tritanium. "Admittedly, the evidence would seem to bear that out," he recovered, "But now, how do we find their staging point?" "I _was_ able to make a receiver from the transmitters," started Rufus. "Receiver?" Philip asked in an 'exsqueeze me' voice. "Yes," he continued, "and I pinpointed the transmission location." He pulled over a campus map and unfolded it. He pointed at one building. "Here." "The Animal Sciences building," Philip observed. "Well, now that we know where they're coming from, we can make sure that the attacks stop _now_," Aerianne stated. "But we're going to need something a little more effective and portable than nail guns, and with a lot more punch, as well." "And what about that 'CVR' that you were working on? If we are going into the 'Raptor's Den', as it were, I do not believe that I would want to be without some form of Physical Protection," added Gordo. "It should be ready by Thursday," answered Rufus, "although I'm still having trouble with the Cyclone powerplant..." "HoldonHoldonHoldon!" interjected Philip. "Are you suggesting that _we_ actually attack _them_? In their BASE?" "Well, who would _you_ suggest? I don't suppose you have a direct line to the Otaku Group, do you?" Aerianne sarcasmed. "Well, no...," admitted Philip. Thinking quickly, he came upon an idea. It was a crazy one, and one that he was hoping would not be possible, but it was their best bet. "But if a hunch of mine is correct, we just might have the next best thing. Gordo, hand me that student phone directory." Gordo did so. Philip opened it, and flipped through it. Skipping 'A', 'B', and 'C', he checked under 'D', and found (unfortunately) the name he was looking for. His face fell. "Yep, they exist." He closed he book, and turned to Aerianne. "Do you think you could take time off from your dance class to help me meet some people?" "Yeah,.. I guess...Where will we meet them?" "Hellicott Hall." The day after, Philip and Aerianne made their way up Stadium Drive towards the high-rise dorms. Philip was not exactly in the best of moods, and Aerianne was trying to discern why. "You still haven't explained to me _why_ these guys you're meeting should be enough to doubt your hold on reality," she started. "Look," he stopped, turning to Aerianne. "You remember when Daniel Dukke and Ferdinand Fox came to the rescue at the Bagel Place?" "Yeah... As I recall, you weren't too pleased that they existed. Beats me _why_..." "EXACTLY. They _SHOULDN'T_ exist! They're the creation of a cartoonist who works down at the Closet of Comics! They shouldn't even be _close_ to existing!" Philip gestured wildly. "Do you realize what this means? It means either _someone's_ using a HoloDECstation without Gryphon's permission, or that I'm losing my grip on reality! Now, which do _you_ think is more probable?!?" "Phil, calm down!" she said as she pinned his arms to his sides. "You're over-acting!" Philip took some deep breaths, and calmed down. "Now, whether they should or shouldn't exist isn't the point anymore. They _do_ exist, and that's all that matters, ok?" She looked into Philip's eyes. "Ok?" Philip nodded. "Yeah, ok," he responded, finally calmed down. A bit of his usual smile returned to his face. "Anyway, I'll admit I've always wanted to meet these guys..." They started up the hill again. Eventually, they arrived at the Ellicott Hall doors. Aerianne looked up. "Um, Philip?" "Yeah?" "Did the weatherman say anything about flash thunderstorms today?" "Huh?" Philip looked up. A dark thundercloud hovered over the dorm. The fact that it was a sunny day over the rest of the campus deterred the cloud not one bit. Philip shrugged. "Oh, that's just dramatic license... Pay it no mind," he said as he pulled out the student directory from his backpack, and dialed a number listed therein. The campus phone box next to the door rang a few times, then it was picked up. "Hello?" a voice on the other side answered. "Hi, is this BJ I'm speaking to?" Philip asked. "Yep! Is there anything I can do for you?" BJ replied. "Well, I was wondering if I could meet your friends on the sixth floor and talk to you about something..." Philip asked, hoping that this would work. "Sure! I'll buzz you in, and I'll be right down." BJ hung up the phone, and the door buzzed as it unlocked. Aerianne opened the door and followed him in. The lobby of Ellicott hall looked pretty boring, as lobbies of dorms go. Pseudo-wood panelling covered the cinder-block walls, and a RA's desk sat across from the elevators, with student mailboxes flanking the desk on either side. Aerianne and Philip stood in the middle of the lobby, feeling out of place. They were used to buildings a little bit more well-tended than this dorm. Eventually, a short student came out of the descending elevator. He looked rather, well, ordinary; just a loose, untucked button-down shirt and a pair of jeans defined his character. That and the rather interesting cowlick in the front of his hair that wouldn't go away. "Hi! Name's BJ, glad to meet you," the person said as he shook Philip's hand. "Hi! I'm Philip, and this is Aerianne," he replied, introducing the personage next to him. Aerianne waved, and said "Hi!" "Ah," BJ raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as they got into the elevator. "So, what is it that you wanted to ask?" he said as the ancient travel device began to move upward. "Well, you know those assaults that have been going on lately?" "Yeah, what about them?" BJ asked, becoming interested. "Well, Aerianne and I found out who was behind them, and we're going to try to stop them; but we're sort of understaffed at the moment." "But why are you coming to us? Wouldn't this be more appropriate for say, Daniel Dukke and Ferdinand Fox?" BJ commented as a joke, not noticing Philip's sudden reaction to the names he had spoken, nor Aerianne's attempt to keep Philip from fainting. "Well, you see, the situation is _unique_, to say the least...." Aerianne began to say, but Philip cut her off as he recovered. "And we think we can pull this off _without_ their help." Philip flatly stated. "Well, we can talk about it in more detail once you meet the guys," BJ said as the elevator stopped on the sixth floor. The sixth floor. Philip and Aeri waited in the floor's lounge as BJ went to get his friends. "See, Philip, that wasn't _that_ bad," Aerianne said with a smile. "He seemed perfectly normal..." "He _is_ normal... It's his _friends_ I'm concerned about," he said, which drew a questioning glance from Aeri. And once they entered, Aerianne _saw_ what he was concerned about. The first to arrive was BJ, whom they had already met. The next to arrive was a short, blonde, flattopped person in a preppie sweater and slacks, who introduced himself. "Johnathan Q. Peabody III, and I don't see _why_ you came to this hell-hole of a dormatory. Why my father could..." "Aw, giv it ah rest, Spud!" announced the tall redneck who entered next. "Ah don't need-- Well, Hell-LO, gorjeous!" he said as he came over to where Aeri and Philip were sitting. Aerianne turned to Philip with a panicked look. "Name's Jim Hooligan, pleezed to meet'cher!" he continued, moving closer. "Please forgive me for my companion's ill behaviour," said the fourth as he entered and interposed himself between the drooling Jim and the put-off Aerianne. "Jim is usually quite well-behaved when he's hasn't had his daily dose of alcoholic beverage." "_Daily_ dose?" Aerianne asked. "Unfortunate, but true," he chuckled, which Aerianne, much to her (and Philip's) surprise, joined in. Perhaps it was the fact that these educated words were coming from one who looked more like a Punk-Rocker- From-Hell which made him so incongrous, but they both took a liking to the man immediately. And finally, there came Horse. A six-foot-four, well-built, orange-haired man clad in a black sleeveless t-shirt, black jeans, cowboy boots, and sunglasses. "So, _you're_ the guy who wants to talk to us?" he asked, pointing to Philip. Once the group was assembled (or "heathen mob", as some might put it), Philip detailed what had gone before, and what Philip was hoping of the Hellicot Hallers. Needless to say, their reactions were not favorable. "Uh Uh, No way," said Horse, still not convinced of Philip's sanity concerning his plan. "No way in #$!@ am I going to risk life and limb, especially for _this_ campus. I have enough trouble with Sarge!" "But Horse," Philip continued to plead, "It's the chance of a lifetime! All the chaos and carnage you can stomach, and for a good cause!" "Now, Mr. Moyer, it is not like my colleague is not one to turn away from a night of glorious mayhem," Shaggy said. "It is just that he is still in doubt of the prospects of our little group _returning_ from your planned assault on the forces of evil," he chuckled. "Is there anything we can offer you?" asked Aerianne. As one, the assembled HHers turned to look at her. "NO," she said forcefully. They sighed, and returned to their original positions. "Anything _else_?" "Well, a six pack or two would be nice," mentioned Horse as an idle musing. "Well, then I promise that for every Velociraptor you kill, you will get a 6-pack." "WE'LL DO IT!" the HHers chorused. "WHAT?!?!" exclaimed Philip. "Aeri, did you have to promise them _that_?" Philip asked as they walked back to the Engineering Building. "Why?" "Well, we're sort of underage..." "Jeeze, Philip! I didn't say _we'd_ get them the beer... I think Gordo's old enough to buy it..." "But still..." "Philip, you don't need to worry about it...everything's under control," she smiled. Philip snorted. "Since _when_?" Aerianne chuckled, and they walked back to the lab to make preperations. 21) --- Bring 'Em Back Alive ------------------------------------------ "What the hell is that for?" "Kinemasochistics. You wouldn't believe the project we've got." -- Mark and ReRob SATURDAY, NOVEMEBER 20 Philip and Aerianne made their way to the engineering building. It was starting to turn dark, and they wanted to be inside and ready before the Velociraptor attacks began. "Are they ready?" asked Philip anxiously as they entered the lab. "Yes, they are," Rufus said with more than a hint of pride. He gestured over to a spotlighted area, where three motorcycles stood. "Only three?" Philip asked. "Well, don't forget, I _am_ an engineering major... We have these things called 'Labs'?" "Oh yeah... sorry." "No problem." Philip turned to look at the motorcycles again. "So, which ones did you make?" asked Aerianne, as she walked over to the light. "I've built a Battler, a Sabre, and a Lite. I wanted some practice building all three types. I've also made enough CVR for us four, as well as the members of Hellicott Hall." "Cool," stated Philip as Gordo came into the room. "But what do you have for the powerplant?" "Well, seeing as this world has no equvalent to protoculture, and that current fusion reactor technology has not reached the break-even point, Rufus here has opted for a standard unleaded gasoline engine," stated Gordo before Rufus could talk. "Er, yes, Gordo, that's right... that also means that you don't have any true flight mode, and that the power level is decreased..." "That's fine by me," stated Aerianne as she walked towards a partition, carrying a bag with armor. "We won't need flight in those closed quarters." She stepped behind it and began to change. * * * * * "Ok, I'm ready," said Aerianne as she stepped from behind the partition. Philip's jaw dropped. She was wearing CVR, yes, but it was _custom_ CVR adjusted to match her form exactly, painted a nice deep iridescent blue with red, black, and white accents. Quite frankly, it was breathtaking, and Philip said as much (or _didn't_, as the case may be). "I do believe that you have taken Philip's breath away," stated Gordo with a grin. Aeriane just smiled, while Philip just stared. Finally, his brain figured out how to control his mouth again, and he cleared his throat and smiled, embarrasingly. "Er... Shoulda realized that this was another principle of TBGTSTUAKA: 'Female armor always looks better than male armor,'" he said by way of apology. "Is that a compliment?" she said with an evil gleam in her eye. Philip gulped. "Uh, yeah, I guess..." "Good! I was hoping you would like it," she said with a wink before she turned to examine her Cyclone. Philip blinked, confused. He shook his head to clear it, and then turned to check out his Cyclone before the Hellicott Hall crew got there. By the time the HH crew arrived, Philip and Gordo had finished suiting up in their CVR. When they turned to greet the new arrivals, Philip noticed that the group had expanded some since their last meeting. He also noticed that Rufus recongized one of the individuals in question. "Hey, Lugnutz! Glad you could make it!" exclaimed Rufus as he made his way over to the group. "You _know_ him?" asked Philip incredulously. "Sure I do! We have the same Mech. Eng. lab!" "A mechanic named 'Lugnutz'?" asked Aerianne as she came over. The HH group didn't reply, but just started drooling heavily. "Will you _stop_ that?" she replied, exasperated; but the HHer's did no such thing. With a shake of her head, she walked over to the Sabre, got on it and revved it up. Before the HHer's could react, she had thrown it into gear, accellerated towards them, and had snap-transformed into Battloid mode. "I said 'stop that', _understand_?" And to punctuate her comment, she deployed a humming CADS blade with a KA-SHING! The assembled group shut their mouths so fast that one could hear their teeth collide. Aerianne nodded curtly, retracted the blade, and guestured for Philip to take the floor. "Er... thank you, Aerianne," Philip replied. "Ok... Rufus, if you could demonstrate the CVR?" The next few minutes were taken up as Rufus demonstrated the proper donning and doffing of the CVR. Most of those assembled had no problems, but one or two had some problems. Iggy was _dwarfed_ by the armor he was given; Sarge had troubles getting his head into the helmet and his tail into one CVR leg. Finally, however, the group was ready. Except for one thing. "What are we gonna do for weapons?" asked Horse. "You aint just gonna give us whatever you have lyin' around!" "Here Horse, hold this," Rufus said as he handed the Carrot-topped Barbarian a fully loaded M-16 rifle. Philip raised his eyebrows. He didn't know Rufus _had_ any of those just "lyin' around". Philip moved to protest, but then he caught Horse's demonic grin, and thought better of it. Once the group was fully outfitted (or with as much as they had), they made their way down the street to the Animal Sciences building. Aerianne was wearing her Cyclone as power armor, and Philip and Horse were similarly "clothed". The rest were wearing CVR. Philip tried the doors, one at a time. "Locked solid," he muttered after he had tried the last pair. "Hold on, let me try," said Aerianne as she collapsed her Cyclone, dismounted, and pulled out her lockpicks. In short order, she had picked the lock on the main door and opened it. Rufus immediately entered next, and disarmed the building's security alarm. "I'd ask you later where you learned that, but I'm not sure I want to know," whispered Philip through his helmet-comm. He got a chuckle from Rufus, and a hasty "shhh!" from Aerianne. They made their way into the building, and turned down a hall. "According to the plans I borrowed from Physical Plant, the animal labs are on the other side of the building," Rufus commented. "We'll need to work our way through the halls until we get there." "Understood," murmured Aerianne as she peeked around a hall corner. "All clear," she said as she motioned the others forward. Deep in the sublevels of FOWL's biosci lab, various gleepian technicians worked on their own little projects, breeding more raptors, and performing research. They did so in relative calm because they were _certain_ that their security systems would deal with any intruders. Even if the police alarm was disabled, the system would still operate; in fact, that was one of the conditions that would trigger the security system. And besides, with the type of system that they had, it would be better if there was no police involvement. The dead bodies would be hard to explain. The group continued their way down an abandoned hallway. The classroom doors were unlocked and they checked each room. "Empty, same as the rest," reported Rufus as he and Gordo exited the last one in the hall. "Well, you'd sorta figure that since the building hasn't been _opened_ yet," Horse commented sarcastically from within his Lite Cyclone. It still rankled him that Philip and Aeri had gotten the heavier-armored Cyclones. "Well, my dear Horse, that would make it an _excellent_ staging point for the enemy, wouldn't it?" replied Shaggy, who was standing next to him. Horse just grumbled, and turned his attention towards where Jim and Lugnutz were checking another room. They didn't notice the two pairs of eyes glowing in the moonlight behind them. The attack came without warning. The velociraptors raced past Shaggy and knocked Horse over, sending him sprawling. Fortunately, he was protected from the Raptor's spurs by his armor, and once he got up, he opened fire with his M-16. Its bullets chewed into the raptor's hide, and it went down. The other raptor took several shots but didn't fall. Snarling, it turned and raced towards Aerianne. "Aeri, LOOK OU--" Philip's cry was cut off as Aeri efficiently sliced off the Raptor's head with a CADS blade. The raptor's body fell to the ground with a sickening *Whump!*. "Stay alert, everyone," Aerianne muttered. They continued their way down the hall. They continued their way to the other side of the building. Aside from the first two raptors that they had dispatched, they encountered no resistance. "Huh," was all Horse had to say as they looked into the empty breeding room. "I _told_ you this was a stupid idea!" he said as turned on Philip. "There's nothing here!" "But there _were_ raptors here!" Philip attempted to reply. "So, they're all over the #$@% campus! What does _that_ prove?" "Hold _on_, you two," commanded Aerianne as she made her way between the two. "We've traced the Raptor signals to here, so they've got to be coming from here. They're just not coming from this floor." "Huh?" asked Philip and Horse at the same time. "Just look over there," Aerianne pointed. On the far wall, a large panel had been opened by Rufus and Lugnutz. It opened directly onto a flight of stairs. "Excuse me, Rufus," asked Gordo as the ertzatz commando squad made their way down the empty stairwell. "I was wondering.. What _was_ the serial number on that transmitter unit that you appropriated from that deceased Velociraptor?" Rufus thought for a moment, and then replied, "I think it was one hundred... why?" "Ah, just as I thought... Thank you for your assistance, Rufus!" And Gordo hurriedly made his way towards the front of the formation, leaving a confused Rufus in his wake. Gordo got to the front in time to see them clustered around a blast door closing off a short hallway that led from the bottom of the stairwell. "This _definitely_ wasn't in the plans," commented Rufus as he finally caught up with them. Lugnutz had already started to cut down the door with a portable oxyacetlyne torch that he had brought with him. "Philip... A cursory evaluation of Velociraptor capabilities indicates a _distinct_ tactical deficiency..." "In other words, Gordo..." Aerianne asked. "We're outnumbered." stated Philip as Lugnutz finished cutting down the blast door. They stepped back as it fell forward, revealing behind it many, many Raptors, smiling. <<>> "GET DOWN!" Philip yelled as he raised his arm to fire. Amazingly enough, they listened and hit the floor as he fired two missles. They rocketed towards the advancing line of raptors and detonated, sending whole raptors and bits of raptor flying backwards into the horde. "CHARGE!" yelled Aerianne, taking the initiative as she dove into the fray, CADS blades humming. Philip thought as he charged in as well, carried along by Aeri's emotional momentum. The rest of the group charged in as well, laying in suppressive fire with their M-16's and other weapons. Horse, for one, was doing quite well with the battle axe that he had brought along, while Iggy was rolling under the Raptors, firing upwards wildly. The basic tactic was to shoot everything that moved, so the group proceeded along the hall in a rough circle so that no one would end up hitting one of their own. Unfortunately, this meant that Philip and Aerianne ended up in the front of the formation, and took the brunt of the attack. Aerianne seemed not to care. She raced between the raptors, her blades slicing into them. She seemed to know exactly where to cut; many of the dinosaurs fell once she encountered them. She was a one- woman killing machine, deadly and precise. Philip, on the other hand, was still trying to get used to the _idea_ of combat itself. He fired on every raptor he could see with his M-16, rapidly changing clips of ammo whenever it ran out. He actually did a signifigant amount of damage, although most of it was to the walls and floor. He was just about to change another clip when he saw that ten raptors had ganged up, and were about to charge Aerianne. She was busy going one-on-one with another raptor and didn't notice them approach, claws outstretched... "NOOOO!" he yelled as he dropped his rifle and ran towards Aeri, body-checking her out of the way before she had a chance to protest. Unfortunately, this now left _him_ to face the brunt of the attack. Saying a silent (and _very_ rushed) prayer, he popped the chest covers on his Cyclone and launched all twelve of his minimissles. Amazingly, they all hit their targets, sending the group of ten raptors to the great beyond in under ten seconds, as well as taking out the one that Aerianne had originally been tangling with and one that Horse had been grappling with. Neither of them thanked him, they just contined to fight the raptors. But that was ok, because Philip was too busy to accept a reply, anyway. The group continued to battle their way down the hall, taking out any raptor that came in their way. Eventually, the flow of raptors decreased as more and more of them were taken out; and soon it died completely, leaving them standing knee-deep in dead raptor bodies. "I think I'm going to be _seeek_," Philip said in a bad Ren voice as he looked over the carnage. "Save it for later," replied Aerianne as she, Horse, and Lugnutz moved towards the end of the hall, where another blast door had fallen during the fight. With CADS blade, torch, and human muscle, they pulled the door down. Revealing another door several feet further, with a huge FOWL logo on it. "Philip, if you will do the honors?" gestured Aerianne as she and the rest of the group moved to either side of the door, hugging the wall. "Er, ok..." he said as he raised his other arm and sighted on the logo. "All right, NOBODY MOVE!" yelled Aerianne as they blasted down the last door. Techs scattered everywhere as the squad came and took up covering positions. "What the... GLEEPIANS?!?" Philip exclaimed. "What the hell is going on?" he asked as the green, floating, one-eyed aliens ran to hide. "Who?" asked Gordo as he and some of the others tried to block the exits. "I'll tell you later! Try to stop them!" But it was too late. The techs had fled to point unknown, and an unknown voice had begun to count down. No one needed to be told what it meant. "Ok, _now_ what, O fearless leader?" asked Shaggy sarcastically. Philip looked around, wondering for the tenth time that day how he had gotten into this. "We'd better get out of here. If that counter's doing what I think it's doing, the explosion should wreck the equipment enough to keep them from making any more raptors with 'ware." "We can't do that!" interjected Rufus. "Why not?" "Look at this stuff!" he gestured to the equipment around them. "We could _use_ it, we've _gotta_ take it with us!" He seemed to be very insistant in his demands, but Philip protested. "How the heck are we going to carry all this stuff out?! Or are you proposing we freeze time or somethi--" "Hey, what about us?" yelled a form hidden in one of the cages. The group turned at the sound and stared. "What the @#$!?" Horse stated eloquently. "Let us out, please!" the second pleaded. "Yeah, 'cause we're not too eager to become stir-fry," the third said sarcastically. "_Sentient_ Velociraptors?" asked Aerianne incredulously. Rufus nodded his head, while Philip groaned. "Philip, I doubt that that will assist out current situation any," Gordo stated with his usual Grin(tm). "I know, but it make me feel better." He hit his helmeted head for a few more times, and then stopped with a sigh. "Ok... Horse, you and the gang gather up anything Rufus thinks he can use. Aeri, Gordo, work at getting that cage open." The people assembled began to work. "And hurry! We only have..." "5 minutes, zero seconds" the voice said. "5 minutes left!" Philip exclaimed. "I said that." the voice replied, peeved. Once released, the three raptors actually proved to be a great help in determining what Rufus did and didn't need. The gleepian techs who had grown and taught them had never _truly_ known the full capabilities of their progeny. The first one pulled out a set of hoverpads, while the second helped Rufus with the selection of equipment and the third helped with the loading. Finally, with a last mournful look on the part of Rufus and the Raptors, the group made their way out of the lab posthaste, just as the voice was counting "Two minutes". They navigated the charnel house and stairway with difficulty, taking out a precious minute and a half, but once they were back on level flooring they ran for the exit. They cleared the outer perimiter just as the building's voice said "Zero". The building erupted in an agony of flame, sending bits of window glass and interior decorating through the air. Several of those assembled turned to shield themselves, and then they all looked at the Animal Sciences building as it burned to the ground. "Looks like Physical Plant's got their work cut out for them," muttered Philip. And there was _much_ rejoicing. Yay. LATER THAT NIGHT Philip sat apart from the general merrymaking on the Denton "beach", deep in thought. Aerianne, who had decided to abstain from the alcohol that the others were imbibing, walked over to where he was and sat next to him. "Why aren't you joining them?" asked Aerianne. "Well," he said, ticking off points with his fingers, "I don't like parties of that type, I don't like alcohol in general, I'm bleeding from multiple scratches, I'm hurt in several places I didn't even know existed, I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm bruised... And on top of all that, I feel F.I.N.E..." "Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional," the two chorused solemnly, after which they chuckled. Philip yawned. "I second that emotion," Aerianne said with a yawn. "Thanks," she said as she leaned against Philip's shoulder "For what?" Philip asked, confused. "Saving my life," she said as she closed her eyes. "Uh... you're welcome," Philip said. But he wasn't heard, because Aerianne had fallen asleep. 22) --- Turkey Daze --------------------------------------------------- "Were you, this last Thanksgiving, A discriminate food taster? Or, rather, did you apply Eggnog to your mouth with a turkey baster?" -- Rev. Xmos Aerianne sat in her room, deep in thought. She looked at the schedule again, and at the two days on the calendar, one right after the other, that said 'SCHOOL CLOSED'. She couldn't comprehend, for the life of her, why the college would be closed for those two days and _only_ those two days. There were plenty of other elegible days on the calendar. It seemed to her that there was no reason why they couldn't be held then (or held at all, for that matter). Besides, the way the two days were placed, they'd only give about two and a half weeks for studying for finals. She looked once more at the calendar, and looked at the word in one box. She had seen that word on the net, but it didn't seem to be relevant to her current situation. But maybe it was? In any case, she didn't know. With a shrug, Aerianne decided to go over to Philip's room to ask his opinion. He'd probably have an idea of what this was all about. Philip was in his room getting ready for the four-day weekend when Aerianne entered. He was laying stuff out on his bed, and didn't notice Aerianne's concerned expression. "Philip, can I ask you something?" "Sure, come on in!" he called out. "Ok," he continued to himself, "now I'll need the gif folder, and all my puppet stuff is coming with me..." "Philip, I've been wondering..." "What?" he asked distractedly, continuing to fill his backpack. "What is 'Thanksgiving'?" "Huh?" He turned to look at her. he asked himself. he answered. "Well,.. it's... Thanksgiving. You know, the pilgrims, first harvests, turkeys, Miles Standish, football, Macy's Parade, food, food, and more food--" Aerianne looked back in confusion. "I don't get it... those things make no sense together." "Ah.... well, it's more of an experience..." he tried to explain. "Talking about it doesn't ususally help, you need to actually particiate in it for it to have any personal meaning..." Aerianne took that in, and made a decision. "Well then, I'll just have to experience it for myself," she said matter-of-factly. "Mind if I come home with you for Break?" "Bwa?" Philip blinked. "Excuse me? Mind repeating that?" "I said, 'Can I come home with you for break?'" She seemed peeved that he would even consider questioning her question. "What's wrong with that?" "Well...." he stalled. "Well what?" "Well, for one, don't _you_ have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving?" "No." "Ah..." This was a surprise for Philip, but he ignored it for the moment, and pressed on. "For second, couldn't you stay here for break?" "Why should I? It's _boring_ here during break, you know that. And besides, Gordo and Rufus spend all their time in the lab." "You've got _that_ right." He nodded in acquiesence to Aerianne. "Ok, you win. It wouldn't be fair. But if that's settled, then that leads up to the 2000-dollar question-- how do I tell my parents?!" "Tell them a friend wants to come home with you for break. It's the truth, isn't it?" "Er, yeah, that's true..." he admitted. "But still, you aren't exactly like my other friends..." "So? Should that cause a problem?" "Depends on how you _define_ problem..." Eventually, his mother finally arrived to take Philip home for the weekend. His stuff was piled on the bed, a remarkably _small_ pile, considering his tendencies (it was actually all in his backpack). Philip shouldered the backpack, but kept glancing towards the door for some inexplicable reason. "So, are you ready to go?" asked his mom. Philip seemed nervous about something, and she asked, "Or have you forgotten something?" "Well, not exactly... but there is something..." "Hmm?" "Mommy, I have a question....Would it be ok if a friend of mine stayed with us during Thanksgiving? It's only for a few days," he hastily added. "Well, that should be ok, as long as his parents know about this," his mother said. "Other than that, I don't see a problem.. What's his name?" she asked. "_Her_ name," he quickly muttered as a correction, "is Aerianne." "_Her_ name?" his mother asked. Her son had not mentioned this in any of his phone calls. "Someone I should know?" she asked bemusedly. "Perhaps...Um,...Mommy, _this_ is Aerianne." Philip said as an introduction as Aerianne entered the room. "Hello, Mrs. Moyer!" Aeri beamed. His mom just stood there for a few seconds, staring... "Mommy?" He waved his hand in front of his mother's face. "Huh..what?" she said, come back to the here and now. Her son had _definitely_ not mentioned _this_ in any of his phone calls! "_This_ is who you're inviting for Thanksgiving?" Philip just nodded nervously. His mom grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him to one side. "Does your father know about this?" "Trust me, he has _no_ idea," he assured her emphatically. "In fact, _I_ didn't have any idea!" "Right..." his mother said doubtfully as she glanced back at Aerianne. Aerianne smiled back, and waved. "And she has nowhere else to go?" "That's what she said-- _Please_, don't ask me why, I don't know myself," he replied, cutting off his mom's protests. "Well, ok..." she answered, looking back at Aerianne once again, who once again smiled. "I suppose it _couldn't_ hurt for her to stay with us..." The drive back to Garrett Park was... interesting, to say the least. His mother asked questions that poked and pryed into his relationship with Aerianne, to which Philip's usual response was that he didn't _have_ a relationship! They were just friends! Really! Of course, his mother didn't believe him. The trip back home actually wasn't that long; just a jaunt around the Beltway, for which Philip was _eternally_ grateful. If it had been any longer, he probably would have died due to the intense nervousness he felt. Strangely enough, Aerianne wasn't uncomfortable at all. She spent most of the trip watching the trees pass by as they travelled. But finally, the Sable left the Beltway, drove through Kensington and Rock Creek Park, and turned left onto Kenilworth Avenue and into Garrett Park. They took the left fork, and passed several houses of varying achectectual styles until they reached a tan house hidden behind two large trees. "Well, here we are," Philip said as they drove into the driveway. It wasn't much of a house, and it was dwarfed by the blue Victorian next door, but it was _home_, and Philip was glad to be out of the dorm. "Oh, by the way, I think I should warn you..." "Huh? About what--Whoa! Hey!" exclaimed Aerianne as she was "assaulted" by a large black Labrador with a fogged-over eye. "Down, Shadow, down!" Philip commanded with a laugh as he kneeled to pet the dog. "It's only Aerianne, she's company." "Hey, this is nice," said Aerianne as she made her way past Shadow and looked around. "Well, it's not much, but it's home," Philip replied with a wan smile. He _still_ wasn't sure about this, but Aerianne was dealing just fine. She just looked around the house with an interested eye, taking in everything. She put down her backpack and duffel in a nearby chair, and continued to look around the house. "No, I mean it, this is _really_ nice," Aerianne commented with a smiled as she walked around to the new living room. Philip was about to reply, when his mom spoke. They turned to face her. "Well, I've got to get over to school...I believe I can trust you two?" she asked. They both nodded. Mommy looked at them doubtfully (Philip was feeling doubt himself, but for different reasons), sighed once, and closed the door. Philip released the breath he was holding, and plopped himself into a nearby chair. "What's wrong, Philip?" asked Aerianne as she moved over to him. "Oh, nothing, nothing, nothing at all," he said with a sigh. "Just tired, I supposed." "But nothing's happened." Philip glanced at her with a how-could-anyone-be-more-socially- blind-than-me look. "'Nothing's happened'? Yeah, _right_. This has just got to be one of the stranger days of my life," he sighed once again, shaking his head. "Well, whatever. We can putz around for a bit until Christopher comes home..." he continued as he pulled himself out of his chair. "Who?" "Tell you later," he said, changing the subject. Aerianne shrugged, and followed him. For about the next two hours, Philip gave Aerianne the introductory tour of the Moyer household. She saw the old and new living rooms, the kitchen and the dining room, and his room (what little of it she saw). They went downstairs to the basement as well, and Philip introduced her to his Macintosh by the laundry room. They went back upstairs; and since they had more time to kill, Philip slotted in his copy of _The Muppet Movie_ and popped some popcorn for them both. When Philip returned, he saw her sitting on the sofa; and since it would be rude to keep the popcorn away from her, he sat next to her. Every so often Aerianne would reach over Philip to get at the popcorn, at which point Philip would get a _very_ panicked expression, not because he was afraid of Aerianne, but because he was afraid of what _could_ happen if anyone saw them together. But fortunately there was no one around, and Philip gradually calmed down. And then his nine year old brother came home. Christopher. Paul. Moyer. The boy who made Calvin look like an angel. Philip heard the door open and slam closed, but he wasn't paying attention to it, as he and Aerianne were too caught up in the movie to take notice (The sound was being routed to the living-room speakers, which could have contributed to their obliviousness). So of course neither of them had noticed that Christopher had entered when Aerianne reached for the popcorn. "Ewwwwww!" Christopher said with his trademark mischevous grin. Philip's head snapped up in shock. "C-C-christopher!" "Philip's got a girl-friend! Philip's got a girl-friend!" he exclaimed with glee. "It's not like that!" Philip retorted to no avail. "Come on, Philip, it's cute when he does that," Aerianne commented. "Cute??" Philip turned and looked at Aerianne in shock. She was _smiling_! At his _brother_!! Philip held his head in his hands. "I was afraid you'd like my brother." Paul Moyer pulled into the driveway with the Suburban. It had been a _long_ day at work at DOE, and he was glad to be home now with his family. But this day, which had already been very bizzare (well, as bizzare as it gets for building managers, which is pretty damn _very_), was only going to get weirder still. "Good evening, family," he announced as he opened the front door. "Paul, I need to talk with you about something," Philip's mom announced as she came in from the living room. "What is it?" he started to ask, but his question was cut off as Philip entered the room with Aerianne in tow. "Nevermind..." A quick conference was held right then, to decide Aerianne's fate. Paul wasn't truly opposed to the idea of her staying there, but neither was he in favor, either. However, Philip was allowed to present his arguments, which he did in short order. "Daddy, she doesn't have anywhere else to go." "Where will she sleep?" "Living room." "Gretel and Larry will be sleeping there." "Frick, I forgot. Downstairs, I guess." "With your Grandmother?" Philip slapped his head and groaned. "Good point...Actually," he continued as a thought occured to him, "She _could_ sleep in the basement. We could pull out the camping pads and the sleeping bags, and she'd be fine." His father thought for a moment, and then nodded his head. Philip let out the breath he had been holding and smiled. He looked at Aerianne, who smiled back, and they went downstairs to logon. Paul looked at his wife and smiled. Mary smiled back. Their son had finally gotten a girlfriend. (The fact that Philip didn't seem to realize it didn't bother them one bit.) THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 25 THANKSGIVING DAY Thanksgiving Day. The Moyer household was abuzz as Philip's mom and dad prepared for that afternoon's meal. Aerianne, not being an "official" part of the family, spent most of the morning watching the Macy's Parade with Christopher. They actually seemed to get along quite well, once Christopher got past the fact that Aerianne was a "Girl". Philip, for his part, just shook his head and continued to help his mom with setting the table. Eventually, a car pulled into the driveway, and Philip's Great- Uncle Larry and Great-Aunt Gretel arrived. Needless to say, their initial reactions to Aerianne were "interesting", and Philip's face flushed red from embarrasment. Aerianne, as usual, didn't seem to understand why he was embarrased, and she attempted to calm him down, which only made the situation worse. About a half-hour later, Philip's father left to pick up his Great-Aunt Frances from her nursing home, and Philip was spared his little additions to his "torture". Of course, once he returned, it started again, this time with his Aunt Frances being overjoyed that Philip now had a relationship. Before Philip could do anything drastic, like imbedding his head in a half-inch of Drywall, his mother announced that the food was ready, and the meal began. Once everyone found thir seats, the food began cirulating around the table. Philip, true to form, didn't eat anything that he hadn't tried before, which pretty much limited himself to turkey, a baked potato, and a salad. Aerianne, on the other hand, took at least one of everything. Philip's mom and dad exchanged glances, and then looked at Aerianne, who was already asking for seconds on the stuffing. "Wow, this is really good, Philip! Why aren't you trying any?" asked Aerianne as she spooned another helping onto her plate. "Well, er, mmm...." he tried to stall, but his mom cut him off by putting a helping of stuffing on his plate. "Here you go," she said with a smile. "I _know_ you like it." "And while you're at it, try some of Aunt Gretel's cranberry preserves," added his dad as he passed the aforementioned item down. Philip just shot him an 'Et tu, Daddy?' look before grudgingly consuming what was on his plate. The rest of the meal continued pretty much the same way, but eventually it ended. The family members returned to their original tasks, and Aunt Frances went back to the nursing home, after receiving hugs from Philip, Christopher, and surprisingly, Aerianne. The next morning, Philip and Aerianne watched the Bubblegum Crisis tape he had rented for the first time. Fortunately, his parents and brother were out, so he and Aerianne had the house to themselves. "Oh Gods, I've been _waiting_ for this," he smiled as he slotted the tape. Aerianne smiled back. "Oh you have?" she said with a twinkle in her eye. "Ah...er.. I mean the _tape_." "Oh, of course," she said as she sat on the sofa. "Care to join me?" She patted the spot on the sofa next to her. Philip blushed, and quickly glanced around to make _sure_ no-one was there, just in case. "Um, no thanks... I'll sit in the beanbag chair." "Suit yourself," she shrugged as he sat down. He didn't notice her slightly miffed expression. The OAV began, and since the sound was being routed to the house speakers, it was _very_ exciting. Philip repeated Priss's opening sequence at least three times before Aerianne "convinced" him to go on. They watched for a little while longer, and then Philip looked at Aeri askance during a 'slow' part. "You know," he muttered, "Strangely enough, you look sort of like Priss...." "Huh?" "I mean," he hastily added, "In this light, and at this angle, you resemble her. It's not like you actually _look_ like her, you don't have red eyes or anything like that..." he babbled. "Oh." She shrugged, and they returned to watching the OAV. 23) --- Rude Awakening ------------------------------------------------ "Uhm...morning..." -- Gryphon That afternoon, while Philip was out comparative shopping for sketchbooks, Aerianne watched BGC1 a few more times. she had to admit as she looked in the living room mirror, There was something of Priss in her nose and hair, but other than that, they were two entirely different people. For one, her eyes weren't red, but more of a medium brown. Her face was a little bit narrower, and her hair was _much_ longer. she chuckled to herself, Turning down the hall to go to the bathroom, she noticed that Philip's door was open. Sure, she had been there earlier, but she had never gotten the chance to _really_ look at his room. Intrigued, she went in. To call his room a disaster area would be an understatement. Every horizontal surface was covered with kipple, including the floor. There _was_ enough space to walk, but the choices on direction were limited at best. "Gods, and I thought my single in Charles was small," she mentioned to herself as she looked around. In front of her was a tall bookcase, laden with yearbooks, Star Trek books, and other assorted books. It was accompanied by lower bookshelves on one side, and a chest of drawers in the corner. To her left was a bulliten board laden with posters and papers, underneath which there was another small bookshelf holding the McKinney novels, and various LEGO constructions. To her right was a double bed, next to which there was a file cabnet and desk nestled into an alcove. Seeing as there was really nowhere else to go in the room, she plopped herself down onto Philip's bed. It was covered with quilts and blankets, although strangely enough, there were no sheets. Aeri sighed, and leaned her head on the pillows. She looked up at the ceiling, the ceiling fan turing lazily in circles. she mused to herself. She yawned. She turned on her side to look over at his bookshelves, but not seeing anything of interest there, she turned the other way and saw a kipple-strewn desk. She began to sit up, but then something under a blanket caught her eye, and she pulled it out. Aerianne pondered as she held the stuffed bear in front of her. She laid back down, and studied the bear more closely. There really wasn't much to say about the bear. His fur was matted and discolored from years of use and lack of washing; his eyebrows were almost gone. His mouth already _was_ gone, long replaced with a stiched-on one. His stuffing had shifted as well, leaving him in a permanant sitting-up position. Even so, he was comfortable to hold and to hug; and Aerianne did so, thinking of her life, herself, and Philip. And before long, she had fallen fast asleep. Philip returned from his shopping expedition, exhausted and tired. It had started raining while he was out, and it had quickly upgraded itself to something a little short of monsoon before he had gotten home. The fact that the car had been overheating all day, and the fact that he had almost spun out once, didn't help his mood any. He just made his way from the dining room to his room, dropped his stuff on the floor, and plopped into bed. In his exhasuted condition, he didn't notice anything amiss, and he slowly began to fall asleep. A sudden shifting in the bed caught his attention, and he opened his eyes. He blinked, and looked downward. His eyes followed the arm, across his chest, up towards his left shoulder, and over to... Gentlemen, start panicking. Philip's mind raced as he clamped his mouth shut, desparate not to make a sound. Attempting to ignore the fact that she looked quite cute there, snuggled next to him and holding Pooh close , and the case of extreme literary deja-vu he was experiencing, he tried to think of his options (what few there were). Screaming? No, _that_ was out of the question... Trying to sneak out? No, that wouldn't work either, Aeri was close. Any closer and she'd be on top of hi--... Whimpering? Philip thought. Prayer? Seeing as this was the one option left, he started praying fervently. Tick. Tick. Tick. The old analog clock on the wall ticked away the seconds as Philip prayed to every god ever known to man, plus some that were kind of borderline. Philip felt as if he had spent an eternity lying there, in his bed, next to the most beautiful girl he had ever -- He glanced up at his clock, wondering exactly how many hours he had spent contemplating a sudden change in religion. It had been exactly... two minutes. "Mmmm..." Aerianne moaned as she slowly stirred out of sleep. She looked over to Philip, lying there in something close to a fetal position, and, after a moment of surprise, smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Good mor -- " "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Philip almost hit the ceiling. As it was, he was quickly getting dizzy from swinging around and around on the ceiling fan. Thank the Gods the door was closed... Aerianne's smile only broadened. "Sleep well?" she asked innocently. There was a loud "Thump" sound as Philip's body hit the bed. He was finally asleep. Well, okay, he was unconscious, but you get the idea... 24) --- Examination Blues --------------------------------------------- "Ganbatte kudasai, ne!" "Hai! Ganbarimasu!" -- Kyoko and Godaii, MAISON IKKOKU Once Thanksgiving Break was over, it was time to return to Maryland and finish the semester. However, since it was nearing the end, this meant that exams were coming up; and since there was only two weeks until they started, this meant that there was not much time to study for them. The fact that this time of the year was also the time for all those papers and projects that hadn't been done to be finished and turned in only added to the complications. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16 Philip woke up at the sound of the alarm. Six Thirty. He went through his morning startup routine, then left his suite and waited in the hallway for Aerianne. "You ready?" he asked her as she closed and locked her door. She nodded, and they turned to leave for breakfast. The Bagel Place was uncrowded that morning. It was still dark out, though, which could have had something to do with it. Philip and Aerianne bought their bagels, and adjourned to a nearby booth to eat them. Philip looked at his watch and groaned. "Whoever thought of holding exams at 8 am in the morning should be drug out into the street and shot. No, strike that. He should have to _take_ the exam first, _then_ be shot." Aerianne attempted to giggle, but that giggle quickly changed into a yawn. "Don't do that!" he admonished her. Aerianne smiled, and yawned again. "I _told_ you , don't do that!" By now, Aerianne was giggling uncontrollably, and it was threatening to overwhelm Philip as well. Eventually, they calmed down, and Philip sighed. Aerianne sighed as well, which threatened to start the cycle up again. "So, how do you think you'll do on the exam?" Aerianne asked as they were finishing up. "Haven't a clue. Remember, I didn't do so well on the midterm, so I'm not too sanguine about my chances." Aerianne nodded at this, remembering. Philip looked at his watch, and sighed again. "Well, we'd better get over there. The exam starts in less than an hour." "You go on ahead, Philip," announced Aerianne. "I just remembered, I left my notes in the dorm. Don't worry, I'll join you there!" she said to Philip's pouty expression. She got up with a smile, and left The Bagel Place. Philip sat there for a while longer, then sighed and got up as well. He dumped their trays, slotted a tape, and left for the Classroom Building. When Aerianne arrived at the exam site, she was surprised to see Philip sitting at his seat with an _extremely_ dour expression on his face. She tried to talk to him, but he didn't reply, and eventually she was forced to give up, since the examiner was passing out the exam booklets. Even so, she slid a copy of her exam notes to him (each student was allowed a 3x5 card worth of them) in hopes of a response. But none was forthcoming. However, as the booklets came down the line, she did hear him mutter something. "Make a note, Moyer," he mumbled to himself. "_Never_ listen to 'Country Feedback' before an exam. Never." But it was too late now, the damage was done. Philip squared his shoulders, and started his exam. Philip's next exam was two days later, on Saturday (joy and rapture). He studied hard, but there were still some things on Statistics that he didn't understand. By the time the exam had rolled around, he still didn't understand them, but he continued to study when he reached the classroom and waited outside it before the exam began. He looked at his notes one more time, and sighed. "I might as well put them down now. If I don't know it, then I don't know it, and that's all there is to it." And on that note, he entered the classroom. That afternoon, Philip started studying for his other Computer Science exam. Seeing as his roomate wasn't there, he played some music out loud, and tried to catch up on the things he had slept through in class. Unfortunately, his door was open, and Aeri heard the music as she entered the dorm; curious, she went over to his suite. "What are you listening to?" Aerianne asked as she entered, startling Philip. "OH! Oh, hi, Aeri," he said as he turned towards her. "Just some PDQ Bach." "Who?" she asked, as the singer on the tape began to sing about how tarragon was virtuous. "Let me put it this way: I'd love to explain him to you, but it would take _way_ too long for me to do so, and I really do need to study." Aeri thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah, I can see that. Could I borrow some of your tapes, though? They sound really interesting..." Philip responded with an offhand "sure", which Aerianne seized upon as a "Sure!", and proceeded to relieve Philip of his entire PDQ Bach collection. Philip stared, flabbergasted, as Aeri carried the tapes back to her room. "Thanks!" she said with an earnest smile. "You're welcome," was the only thing he had to say. For the next two hours, Philip continued to study, but he began to have difficulty as he found it harder and harder to concentrate. He tried playing some of his other tapes, but they didn't give him the background quality he needed. Only the PDQ Bach tapes would be able to let him study. Philip got up from his desk, exited his dorm, and went over to the door of Aeri's suite. He knocked, and a chorus of "I'll get it!" "No, I'll get it!" "No, _I'll_ get it!" came from inside. Philip exchanged a puzzled glance with himself, who returned it, and waited. Finally, the door opened. "Aeri, could I have my-urk!" he urked. In front of him, two eyes stared back at him questioningly. This would have been alright, _if_ the eyes staring back at him weren't Velociraptor eyes. "Whyfore you 'urk'?" asked the brown-scaled raptor with what Philip supposed was a smile (He wasn't really sure-- there was a lot of teeth in the way). Behind her, the black-patched raptor was consoling the red-headed one who was muttering, "I never get to get it!" Philip was still standing there in utter, stark, terror when the brown-scaled raptor turned and yelled, "Hey, Aeri! Your boyfriend's here!" with a grin. This snapped Philip out of his trauma enough that he was able to snap out "We're just _friends_, ok!" before he realized who he was talking to again. "Hi, Philip!" Aerianne said as she entered the suite's living room. "Oh, I see you've met Charley." "Ch-Ch-charley?" Philip managed to stutter out. "Is he always like this?" asked Charley, looking at Philip. "No, usually he's a lot more verbose," Aeri said with a shrug. Charley looked at Philip one more time, shrugged (or what passed for one with a raptor), and then turned and returned to her room. By this time, the other two raptors had retreated to their own double room at the beginning of the hall. Philip finally recovered enough sense to speak again. "Who, or _what_, were THEY?!" "They're the raptors we freed before Thanksgiving, don't you remember?" Aeri asked with a smile as she came over to the still frozen Philip. "Well, they needed a place to stay, and we had three rooms open, so we decided 'what the heck?', and let them in." Philip just nodded dumbly. "So, what did you come over to ask?" "I forgot." On Monday, Philip made his way to the Computer-Space Science building where his CMSC 330 class was held. He made his way up to the the second floor, where several students were already waiting in the hall for their exam. Gordo and Rufus were already there and waiting, and they cleared a place next to them along the wall for Philip "This your last exam, Gordo?" Philip asked as he sat down. "No, Unfortunately," he replied. "I still have my history exam tomorrow, but after that, I shall have time to reflect, relax, and read." Philip chuckled at this. "Sounds like something _I'd_ like to do. So you're going home tomorrow?" "Actually, no," Gordo replied a little cagily, which surprised Philip. But before he could ask further, Rufus cut in and answered for him. "Actually, we're planning to stay here and finish those mods you wanted for the Citation. And after, we're going to experiment with the Cyclones, and there's some stuff I want to try with the cyberware, and then---" "Rufus, Rufus! You're babbling!" Philip cut him off. "Don't worry about that now... worry about the _exam_ instead." The three friends broke off their conversation as the classroom doors opened, and they got up to take their exam. 25) --- Endings and Beginnings ---------------------------------------- "Thus times do shift, each thing his turn does hold; New things succeed, as former things grow old." -- Robert Herric MONDAY, DECEMBER 20 The semester was over. The exams were done. And all Philip had to do now was to pack. And as per normal Moyer Packing Procedure (subsection 12.4), this meant that most of his stuff would be coming home with him, even though he would coming back to the same room next semester. So, girding himself to the task, he began to pull out boxes and putting stuff into them. Since his roommate was studying in the library, he played his music out loud as he worked. As he packed, he reflected on the events of the past semester. To call it 'Strange' would be a _slight_ understatement. 'Bizzare', 'Surreal', or 'Unbelievable' would be better, but they still wouldn't do the job. For how could he use _one_ word to describe a semester that had contained armed thugs, bipedal foxes and ducks in cool cars, cybered velociraptors, flying cars, _sentient_ velociraptors, cartoon characters brought to life, and Cyclone power armors? Although, actually, now that he thought about it, there was one word that _could_ describe the past year's events: EXCITING! Never before had his life been like this, and while part of him was still having trouble accepting the reality of it, the other half _had_ accepted it, and was enjoying it immensely. This was the sort of stuff he read about in books and on the net; things he had always imagined himself in, but had resigned himself to the fact that they would never happen. But they _were_ happening; that was something he couldn't deny. And even better, he had some friends who were able to _share_ and _appreciate_ this weirdness! Gordo, with his easy-going good humor; Rufus, with his endless suppy of technological wizardry; and... Aerianne. "Damn," Philip muttered as he began to think about her... He had known he had an interest for her as soon as she had first appeared in his life, but, knowing where such things led, he had immediately clamped them down, instead going for the 'friend' route. And he had taken that route with a vengeance, just keeping their relationship on a "school friend" level. And it had seemed to work. But was it developing into something more? He seemed to see her more often every day, and he had never really noticed how they seemed to go to more events together than before. It had just seemed a part of his normal "friendship program". But since when did the "friendship program" include waiting for her in the mornings, trying to have lunch together every day, getting tickets next to each other in Tawes, going to TAS meetings together, studying together... and it seemed _normal_, _natural_, as if they had _always_ done it! What the hell was going on? Certainly not "Just Friends". His mind returned, complete with Wayne and Garth's Dream Sequence routine, to that afternoon over Thanksgiving when he lay down on his bed to find himself, quite literally, in her arms. Funny; when he thought about it now, it brought a smile to his face, even though he had panicked when it happened... And then there was the time after the Raptor attack, when she had gone to sleep on his shoulder... And the time when they had gotten into that pillow fight when they should have been studying... And the memories of the pain and jealousy returned as Philip's mind's eye showed Trevor shamelessly flirting with her... he tried to tell himself, He should have noticed the signs earlier, even though he had been trying to deny them. One does _not_ spontaneously break out singing "Strangers In Paradise" or "Pretty Women" when walking between classes, even if they came from pretty good musicals to begin with. (Singing "Dulcinea" and "The Impossible Dream" couldn't be considered good signs either) But how could he tell her? He was not exactly the type who would go up to a girl and tell her that he liked her, even though he understood that that was the usual method for such things. Knowing him, he'd agonize over the decision to tell her for weeks, and by then it would be too late. And the scariest prospect of all was... Could it be possible that *she* liked *him* back? Philip reassured himself. Philip's energy level reached it's high point, then he collapsed into his chair, feeling the adrenaline drain from his system. "Man, I'm depressed." He decided, right then and there, to drown his sorrows in music. He knew what he had to play. Taking one of his tapes, and fast forwarding to the right place, he pressed play, and began to dance and lip synch to the music. The tape deck played a little fast, but that was ok. <<>> At about this time, the object of his unvoiced affections, Aerianne, was studying for her last final, which was that afternoon. Needing a break, she decided to go over to Philip's room and see how his packing was going. The doors were unlocked (they almost never were locked), and entering his room, Aerianne saw Philip dancing to a song she had never heard before. She wasn't noticed by Philip, since he was facing away from the door the entire time, and since she didn't want to disturb him, she leaned against the door frame and watched. Though I've tried before to tell her Of the feelings I have for her in my heart Every time that I come near her I just lose my nerve As I've done from the start Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on Do I have to tell the story Of a thousand rainy days since we first met It's a big enough umbrella But it's always me that ends up getting wet Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day And ask her if she'll marry me in some old fashioned way But my silent fears have gripped me Long before I reach the phone Long before my tongue has tripped me Must I always be alone? Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on [Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on Every little thing Every little thing Every little thing Every little thing Every little Every little Every little Every little thing she does Every little thing she does Every little thing she does Every little thing she does Thing she does is magic Eee oh oh...] Every little thing Every little thing Every little thing she does is magic magic magic Magic magic magic As the song faded away, Philip, visibly tired, stopped the tape. "I didn't know you danced," Aerianne said softly. Philip spun around in shock. "A..Aeri...Aerianne!" he half choked/coughed out. Regaining his breath (but not his composure), he said, "I.. I didn't hear you come in." Philip took a quick sip from his water bottle, trying to cool down his blushing face. "Ummm... can I help you with something?" he asked, trying to regain some sense of normalcy. "Actually, no... I came to see how you were coming along with your packing." She looked around at the half-filled boxes. "Need any help?" "NO!" he blurted out, startling Aerianne. "I mean.... no thank you, I'll do ok by myself..." he trailed off and turned away from her, realizing what he had said. "Philip, _what's wrong_?" she said with concern, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Nothing!... nothing." He tried to shake her off, but she held on tight. Being guided by her hand, they walked to the edge of his bed and sat down. "Ok... Now tell me: _what's going on_?" Philip just sat there, head in hands. They sat there for a while in silence, until Aerianne broke it by whispering, "What is it?" "No... I can't tell you..." "Why not?" "Because... Because, I..." He shook his head in denial. "I can't say it." "What? What can't you say?" she pressed on. Philip, finally realizing he had no way out now, swallowed twice, and turned to look straight into her eyes. "I love you..." he barely said. He looked at her for her reaction. Aerianne looked back and blinked. "So? I love you," she said with a small smile. "What's wrong with saying that?" Philip's mouth dropped open. "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?" he thought out loud. "Yes, you did. So, what's wrong with it?" she asked again. "Er... nothing wrong with the words themselves, it's just that..." "What?" "I mean, you must have gone through this before." "No, I haven't." Aerianne was confused. "You haven't? But how? You've had boyfriends before, haven't you?" This conversation was making _no_ sense at all to Philip. "Nope." It was a statement of fact, and nothing more. "Wait a second... You mean to tell me that you've _never_ had a boyfriend?" She nodded. "I'm sorry, but I _can't_ believe that." "Why not?" she asked, confused. "Look... You've been on campus for, what, seven months? What I can't believe is that in those seven months, you have not _once_ been asked on a date by some other guy or you have _not_ even been attracted to someone and asked him out." "Well, a lot of people _do_ flirt with me..." she admitted. she continued to herself. "There, see?" "But the only person I've been attracted to is _you_. I haven't gone out on any 'dates' at all." "No... that's _not_ possible..." "Why not? Is there anything written against it?" "No..." "So, is there anything wrong with it?" "I... I'm not sure... It's just that...that," he cleared his throat, and continued. "It's just that _I_ can't believe that someone as Intelligent, Resourceful, Focused, Caring, Alert, Kind, and (quite incidentally) Drop-Dead Gorgeous could be attracted to a (quite frankly) _Nerd_ like me." "I don't think you're a 'nerd'." she mentally shrugged. "What I _do_ know is that I'm attracted to _you_, and that's all there is to it." "Eyeah, _right_," he said sarcastically. "Somehow, I still have trouble believing this. Either I'm living a fanfic, or this is some very _vivid_ dream, or..." "You don't believe me? Fine! I'll _prove_ it to you." And with that, Aerianne grabbed his head and planted an ardent kiss on him. When the kiss was released about a minute or so after (neither were sure, their links to the National Observatory's atomic clock had suddenly gone offline), Philip let out a small "glaah?" and fell back onto the bed. "See? If, like you said, I could have _anyone_, then would I have done something like that on someone I didn't find attractive? I _LIKE_ you, Philip Jeremy Moyer, and that's all there is to it." She looked down at Philip, who was still laying on the bed. Philip, quite frankly, was still K.O.'d from the effects of the kiss, but he made a go of speaking anyway. "Yeah..." he barely made out. "But it could _still_ be fanfic or a dream or..." "Oh, could it?" she asked with a smile as she leaned down and kissed him again as evidence. "Somehow I doubt it," she said as she released the kiss. "" he replied. He was speechless. His mind had shut down. Several seconds later, Philip's mind reset and rebooted, and he spoke again in a more normal tone of voice (for him, anyway). "One question..." "Hmm?" "If you've never dated before, or had a relationship, then where'd you learn to kiss like that?" "Actually," she said, mulling it over, "I have _no_ idea. It just seemed appropriate." "Yeah, I hear you talking," he said as he sat back up, with a somewhat wry smile. "Look, Aeri... It's not that I don't appreciate this...believe me, I _do_," he smiled. "It's just that if this is _your_ first relationship (God knows it is for me!), then don't you think we should take it a little slower? Just to make sure?" "Well...as much as I hate to admit it...You do have a point..." "Can we at least start with an official boyfriend/girlfriend declaration? Something like that, and then slowly work up to better things?" he asked her. Aerianne said nothing, just looked over the room in thought. "Well, is that ok with you?" he asked cautiously. "Yeah... I accept," she said with a smile. "We've got time." And to seal the pact, they kissed again. "You know, I _could_ get used to this," he chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to keep you on your toes," she smiled back. Philip gulped. Aerianne laughed, and Philip joined in. Everything was going to be all right. 26) --- Holiday Rush -------------------------------------------------- "'Tis the season to be jolly and joyous..." -- Robin the Frog The next day, Philip and Aerianne waited for Philip's mom to come to pick them up. While they waited, Philip continued to pack his stuff. "Why are you taking so much stuff?" asked Aerianne. "It's like you've got half of your dorm room packed up!" "Well, I don't know what I'll need over break, so I might as well be sure..." he said as he began to pack his assorted lights, clocks, and stereo. "Ah..." she said looking over the small mountain of boxes. She looked over at the duffel bag of clothes and necessities that she had packed. "Right." Philip's mom, needless to say, was _slightly_ surprised to see that Aerianne was apparently going to be staying with the family for winter break. The fact that Philip had failed to mention this the day before just added to this confusion. But she took it in stride anyway, and having someone else to help carry Philip's stuff into the Suburban was definitely a plus. The drive back to Garrett Park was a little more relaxed than the one that they had had before Thanksgiving. Perhaps it was the fact that this time around, Philip was _comfortable_ with Aerianne being around him in sight of his mother. His mom just shook her head and drove. Philip reached behind his seat and held Aerianne's hand. He squeezed it in a quick "I love you", which Aeri returned. His mother caught this out of the corner of her eye and raised her eyebrows. His mother's inquisitiveness only increased when they got home. Instead of Philip retreating to his room, leaving Aerianne in the new living room, they _both_ went to his room and stayed there. When his mother came in to tell him that she was going over to school, she found them watching TV on the little black-and-white set in his room. When asked if she could trust them, they just smiled honestly. Once his mom was gone, they went out to the living room to watch on the larger color tv. However, Aerianne had trouble concentrating (yaright) on the show, and she turned towards Philip to ask him something. "Um, Philip?" "Yes?" He turned to face her. She seemed concerned for some reason, and Philip motioned for her to go on. "I've been meaning to ask you something..." "What is it?" he asked, coming over to where she was sitting. "Philip, not meaning to seem ignorant, but what _is_ Christmas? I've read about it on the net, but I don't really understand it." Philip blinked. "Er... It's kind of hard to describe.. there's a _lot_ of different meanings..." "So?" "Hold on a sec, let me get something..." He looked under the tv, and found the tape he was looking for. He put it into the VCR and pressed [play]. "This might help," he commented as _The Muppet Family Christmas_ began to play on the screen. A full two hours later, Aeri had the main secular ideas about Christmas down pat. Some of the religeous meanings she was still having trouble with, but for the most part, she knew what Christmas meant. She had yet to experience the actual day, but it was five days away, and she could wait. Thus satisfied, she and Philip then went outside to unload the Suburban. When his father came home early that day, he was greeted by Aerianne, who was carrying one of Philip's boxes into his already crowded room. "Hi, Mr. Moyer!" she said as she brought it inside. He just stared for a moment, and then looked for Philip, who was carrying a duffel bag full of puppets. "Hi, Daddy!" he said as he took the bag into his room. His father just stared after him, and was even _more_ surprised when Philip and Aeri exited his room hand in hand. He shook his head. This would be an _interesting_ break... Later, after Aerianne's and Philip's situation had been fully explained over supper, they stayed around the kitchen table to talk about the upcoming Christmas dinner. "Is there anything _you'd_ prefer for Christmas dinner, Aerianne?" asked his father. "Oh, anything's fine with me," said Aerianne offhandedly. "And of _course_ we know Philip will eat anything that we'll put in front of him," his dad continued with a grin on his face. "Oh, _of course_," his mom joined in with a smile. Philip just groaned, and let his head fall on the table. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23 Philip brooded. Aerianne was downstairs, playing Karateka on his old Apple IIe, which was ok, because Philip had some quick decision making to do. With all the sudden changes in his life, he had forgotten one importaint thing. Now that he _had_ a relationship, it was half _his_ job to keep it going. And with Christmas around the corner, he needed gifts for Aerianne. Some he could get from around the metro area, but there was one gift in particular that he felt that Aeri would like that he couldn't get from around here. But he knew who he needed to call... "*ring* *ring* *rin-- Hello?" "Uncle Larry? It's Philip." "Philip! How's it going?" Over the phone, Philip could hear Uncle Larry yell to Aunt Gretel that Philip was on the phone. "Oh, ok... Uncle Larry, do you know of anyone up there who deals with swords?" "Hello, Rufus?" "Yeah? Oh, Hi Philip? What's up?" "Oh, nothing much... I have a question..." "Shoot." "Bang." "Huh?" " Nevermind. Anyway, have you finished the mods?" "Yeah, pretty much... Lugnutz helped on the suspension... Why do you need it?" "I need to get something really fast, that's really far, and seeing as I don't have a transporter, the Citation's the next best thing on this planet." "Ok... I'll have it over there in a half hour..." "That's fine by me. Seeya then!" "Seeya " Aerianne sat on the couch as Philip ran around the house, mostly back and forth between the phone book and the phone. "What are you doing?" she asked amusedly. "Oh nothing nothing at all don't you worry about a thing I'll be right with you" Philip mumbled in an attempt not to get her curiosity up. Which meant, of course, that he got her curiosity up. Luckily, Philip's mother was also witness to this latest episode of wackiness (Gogo Dodo would have been proud of Philip at that moment), and stepped in on Philip's behalf. "Aerianne, I'm going out to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Would you care to join me?" "Um, I don't know. Would I?" Aerianne looked at Philip helplessly. Philip had to pause a moment before responding, in order to avoid getting whiplash from nodding his head so quickly. "Um, yeah," his voice quivered with relief, "that might be a good idea thankyoumommy- thankyoumommy." Philip's mother escorted Aerianne out of the house as Philip sighed with relief. Calling the New York Directory Assistance line, Philip got the number and address of the store he wanted, then sat down to wait for Rufus. Philip looked inside the re-modified Citation-from-Hell. Several things were immediately noticable: first, the four-point harnesses on the seats; second, the new handles installed near the seats ("Ejector handles," Rufus had called them. Philip had whimpered); unfortunately, Philip noted that there was still no radio. Rufus was walking around the car, explaining all the not-so-obvious modifications that had been made: new suspension, the addition of a diesel engine, and so on. "What about the radio? Any luck with that?" Philip asked. "Sorry, Philip, but they just don't _make_ them vertical." "Alright, alright," Philip said as he went back inside and fished out his old boom box. Philip thought, he thought to himself. As Aerianne and Philip's mother walked from the parking space into the mall, the Citation passed overhead. Philip's mother looked up in amazement. "Now what is that? That doesn't look like any airplane *I've* ever seen." Aerianne looked up and answered, matter-of-factly, "Oh, that's Philip flying around in the Citation." Philip's mother gave Aerianne a slightly patronizing smile. "Oh, Aerianne, you have such an active imagination... just like Philip..." She shook her head and smiled, continuing into Wheaton Plaza. Meanwhile, in the deepest depths of FOWL HQ [you thought we'd forgotten about them, didn't you? -Eds.]: "Sir, we picked up Ion Particle emmisions on a course heading towards New York City." "Very well. Inform Tigris that he is authorized to use any means necessary to capture or destroy that vehicle." "Aye, sir!" 27) --- Home Delivery ------------------------------------------------- "When you care enough to send the very best." -- Hallmark Cards Advertisment Philip arrived in New York with surprisingly little difficulty. Now, finding a parking space for a flying Citation, that's a different matter entirely... The yellow taxicab was about to pull into the open parking space in front of the auction when a Chevy Citation literally fell out of the sky into it. The driver blinked as a teenager sporting glasses and a goatee stuck his head out the window and shrugged at him. Philip maneuvered within the rather crowded display area to get a better look at one sword, sheathed, that lay within a glass case. "Is this a katana?" he asked the auction overseer, who was passing by at the time. "No, it's not a katana. It's a slightly shorter and straighter blade which was the precursor to the more modern styles." Philip debated with himself as to whether or not to blow potentially his life savings on a Christmas present for his first girlfriend. he decided, noting the lot number. SOME TIME (AND MUCH MONEY) LATER Philip exited the antiques shop, a somewhat silly-yet-worried grin on his face. "Gee, I hope Aerianne appreciates this little token of my affections," he giggled as he walked back to the Citation. "Although, if it doesn't work out, I could always give it to Trev..." He thought for a moment, and shook his head. "Nahhh," he smiled as he carried the bundle in his hands. "No way in _hell_ am I giving this to anyone else _but_ Aerianne!" Finally, he reached his car. His face fell. "Oh good god," he muttered. Someone had double-parked alongside his car, blocking off his exit. "Great, now what..." Then his face brightened. "Nevermind," he said with a smile as he got in through the passenger's side door, "'on the sea or on the land, the situation's well in hand'." He put the key in the ignition and started it up. Minutes later, the person who had double-parked returned. And stared. And would be wondering for the rest of his life how a compact car could have maneuvered past a 3/4 ton truck that had double-parked it, when both in front of the space and behind the space were blocked by station wagons. Philip flew the Citation out of the maze of buildings that was the Lower East Side. He looked at his watch. Yes, he had plenty of time to get home with no trouble. He settled back, and slotted a tape into his tape deck. It would be smooth sailing from here. Suddenly, his radar began to ping. He entered a code, and a portion of his windshield partitioned itself to display an ID on the unknown contacts. It displayed a side and front view of some black, trilateral fighters, along with a quick analysis. VEHICLE TYPE: UNKNOWN ESTIMATED NUMBER: 15 ARMAMENT: 3 LASER CANNON 6 MISSILES - TYPES UNKNOWN PROBABLE INTENT: HOSTILE "Oh, no, not again..." he groaned. <<>> Philip stomped on the acellerator and pushed down on the wheel. The black fighters followed with military precision. People scattered as he dove towards the surface, the enemy jets in pursuit. He leveled out as he headed for the Lincoln Tunnel. "Let's see if they're as stupid as those other guys," he muttered as the Citation roared over the toll booths and into the tunnel. The jets, apparently _not_ as stupid as the previous attempt, pulled up in formation and avoided the tunnel entrance entirely. Philip gained a momentary respite as he flew through the tunnel. "Ok, let's give them something to chew on! All I have to do is arm my weapons... which.. I.. don't.. _have_. Ohship. This is Not Good(tm)." The Memory portion of his mind recalled that he had never asked Rufus to add any weapons, for which the Logic portion upbraided the Memory portion severely. "Great, now what?" He glance to the right just in time to see the midway marker pass by him. "I've got fifteen ships hot for my blood, and I can't fight back. I need some help. I need a hero... or a pair of heroes..." He snapped his fingers suddenly. "Of _Course_!" he exclaimed. He reached into his pants pocket with his left hand, and pulled out his wallet. Pulling it with one hand, he pulled out a business card that was in the center partition. He read the phone number, and then dialed it on the center keypad, making sure to have it speed dail once he left the tunnel. "Mr Dukke, you have a phone call on line two." "Thank you, Kitty," said Daniel Dukke as he picked up the phone. "Daniel Dukke speaking." "Thank gods I've reached you!" said a panicked voice in response. "Who is this?" asked the duck. He could hear laser fire in the background. "It's Philip! We met at the Bagel Place in September!" More lazer fire could be heard, and a couple of *oofs!* as the car shook. "You would seem to have a problem..." the duck pointed out as his mind snicked into business mode (although it always _was_ in business mode). "Do you have any weapons?" "Actually... no." Deeds' brow furrowed. "Do you realize that that is a Bad Thing?" "NO KIDDING!" yelled Philip. "Sorry," he aplogized, "I'm just a little bit busy right now, what with about 15 alien fighters trying to shoot me down... How soon can you be here?" Deeds looked at his watch. "15 minutes." "What?! How?... Nevermind, I'll find out when you get here... And HURRY!" The phone hung up. "Who was it Deeds?" asked Ferdy, who was polishing one of his many large-calibre machine guns. "Just another hero wannabe biting off more than he can chew. He's up against 15 fighters with no weapons, and he's asking for help." "So are we?" "What do you think?" "Oh, yeah, right... sorry I asked." The fox stood up to his full 6' 7", and asked as he got ready, "So, what are we taking? Bombshell or Blitzkreig?" "The SR-71's aren't good for dogfighting... I was thinking more of the Valkyrie." The fox's face lit up. [No, it's _NOT_ what you think. --Ed.] Philip continued to _barely_ evade the oncoming fire; seeing as he didn't have any weapons, that was about as much as he _could_ do. Fortunately, he had spent many hours on his roommate's PC playing 'Falcon', but needless to say, a Citation has _slightly_ different performance characteristics than a F-16. He did yet another turn-and- burn (although the Citation didn't _have_ afterburners) to avoid a strafing pass, and was turning to dodge once again, when he began to hear a sound that _wasn't_ the sound of laser fire, alien engines, or his own rapid heartbeat. He wondered briefly what it was, but then decided he had bigger things to worry about. As he was dodging another blast, his radar pinged again. He looked at the HUD as he swerved and avoided laser beams and missile fire. Whatever it was, it was heavily armed, stealthy, and damn fast! But before he could determine wether it was friend or foe, it had come within visual range, and Philip got an eyeful. It was a delta-winged-- no, make that delta-_fuselaged_-- craft that for its size, was maneuverable as hell; and it managed to evade the enemy fire without so much as an eyeblink. It roared forward, splitting the enemy formation; and then turned around from behind in a 180-degree pivot and began to attack without mercy. One jet died before its pilot even realized what was happening; it was blown out from under him by the rounds from the four 20mm Vulcan cannons that the newcomer carried. The enemy scattered, to make it harder for the unknown threat to hurt them, but it was to no avail. The new jet was unstoppable. And the most amazing thing of all was that it _wasn't_ a jet. It was a helicopter. Three of the enemy jets, trying to overwhelm the helicopter with superior numbers, launched their full salvo of missles at it. The helicopter, unconcerned, dodged several of them, and detonated the others before they came within range with its cannon. And then it opened up with its _own_ missle salvo, which rocketed unerringly towards it's targets. The three jets exploded in pretty fireballs. The rest of the black fighters jinxed and dove as they tried to hit the helicopter with their laser cannons and missiles, but the team of Dukke and Fox were experts at this sort of thing, and very few shots actually reached the gunship. The gunship's shots, however, _did_ reach _their_ targets. At least four fighters were chewed to pieces by the Vulcan cannons, three were hit by heatseeking missiles, and two were holed stright through their engines by the helicopter's 50mm nose cannon. Needless to say, they didn't stay airborn long. The two remaining enemy jets, seeing that the situation had turned from bad to very-extremely-fucked-up, and that returning to FOWL in defeat would be _worse_ than death (for the short time they remained alive), took the only option left for them. One acellerated towards the Citation, and the other towards the helicopter, hoping to take them out, kamakazie-style. At about the same time that DD & FF were hosing the enemy, Philip had decided that it would behoove him to leave the area. Therefore, he was observing the fight from a "safe" distance. Seeing the last two fighters speed away from the fight, he assumed it was over, and he turned the Citation for home. This meant that he didn't notice the first fighter fly around in a wide arc and accelerate towards him. Daniel Dukke, however, did. "Get out of the way!" Daniel called over the radio as he flew the Valkyrie towards Philip and the first jet. "What?" Philip asked, oblivious to his fate. "GET OUT OF THE WAY!!" yelled Ferdinand as Daniel lined up the "shot". Philip, startled, stomped on the acellerator just as the enemy jet was about to hit. He flew out of the way just in time to avoid collision. The jet overshot him, on a direct collision course with the Valkyrie and the other jet behind it. Daniel shoved the Valkyrie's throttles to full, and it blasted forward at Mach 61.42 for two seconds. RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last two jets were shattered by the Valkyrie's jetwash. The Citation and the Valkyrie landed at a rest stop after the battle to refuel and check on the status of the participants. "Is there anything else we can do?" asked Deeds, "Because otherwise we really need to be going. There's several drug busts that we need to attend, plus a hostage crisis, and a small terrorist bombing to take care of." "No, I don't think so..." he said as the two got into the Valkyrie helicopter. But then he had a idea, and he waved at them to get their attention. "Actually, there _is_ one thing you can do for me," he said as he pulled out a marker from his backpack. Ferdy turned around. "Yeah?" Philip returned home later that evening. He took his presents into his room to be wrapped when he got the time. "How'd your shopping go?" asked his mother. "Oh, ok, I guess. Traffic was bad, though. Where's Aerianne?" "She's downstairs on the computer," she replied. Philip, upon hearing this, shed his coat and went downstairs. At the bottom, he walked around to the Mac, where he found Aerianne logged into the UMD system. "Hi, Aeri!" he said as came around to the computer. "Hi, Philip," she answered distractedly. From what he could see, she was IRCing on #anime!, apparently "fighting" a Pandabuma. Philip decided not to ask, and instead watched as Genma thoroughly thwomped Aerianne. It was kind of amusing to watch, as she tried various attacks and reacted to Pandabuma's moves. Unfortunately, the buma gained the upper hand, but Aeri admitted defeat gracefully. As she set the /away flag, Philip chuckled and said, "Don't give up your day job. And if the Knight Sabres ever put out a want ad, _don't answer!_" Aerianne just whapped him playfully. "Ow!" Aeri snickered and turned towards him. "So, how was your day?" she asked. "_Horrid_," he chuckled as he recalled the _slightly_ surreal day. "How about you? Did Mommy shuttle you around so you could shop?" "Yeah. We went to a lot of stores. White Flint Mall was nice." "Well...What'd you get?" he tried to wheedle out of her. "Well, I..." she cut herself off as she noticed Philip's grin. "I'm _not_ saying anything," she said with a smile, but then she noticed Philip's t-shirt. "When did you get _that_?" "At the Closet of Comics...you were there, remember?" he responded. "No, I don't mean the shirt itself, I mean _these_," she said pointing to the two signatures at the bottom of the shirt. "Oh, these?" he asked, looking down at the Daniel Dukke and Ferdinand Fox autographs that had been recently added. "Remind me to tell you how I got them one of these days." Aerianne looked at him askance, but shrugged and returned to the channel. That night, after dinner, Philip retired to his room to wrap the presents he had bought for Aerianne. He wrapped the Highlander tape well, smirking as he did so. Then he wrapped a blue scarf that looked suspiciously like the one he wore often, and in a separate box he wrapped a small gift that he had found in the Jewelry Dept. at Hecht's that he had thought appropriate to the circumstances and her personality. But as he reached for the final gift to wrap it, his eyes caught on an old Construx model that he had never disassembled because it had looked cool. "No. It can't be," he said as he held the Construx model. The model, aside that it was slightly more angular due to it's method of construction, was an exact duplicate of the fighters that had pursued him. 28) --- Merry Christmas ----------------------------------------------- "Oh, My friends, it's been a long hard year, But now it's Christmas. Yes, it's Christmas. Thank God It's Christmas." -- Queen SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25, 1993 CHRISTMAS DAY 4:00 am. 4 o'clock AM. Four of the clock, Ante Meridian. "One should _not_ wake up at four, even if it _is_ Christmas day," Philip mumbled to himself as he observed the digital clock through half-opened eyes. But old traditions die hard, and he got up anyway, just to get it over with. He stood up, got changed, and left his room with a minimum of sound, taking his red blanket and Pooh with him. He walked to the new living room, where Aerianne was sleeping on the sofa, covered with blankets and oblivious to his entrance. Philip found a nearby chair and sat down, covering himself with the blanket and holding Pooh close. And there he sat, with just the Christmas tree, Pooh, and the sleeping form of Aerianne to keep him company. he thought as she lay there, sleeping calmly. Eventually, Aerianne began to stir; yawning, she brought herself up to a sitting position and stretched. Which is when she noticed Philip. "Oh!" she yelped in surprise. "Good morning," he whispered with a smile. "What are _you_ doing up so early?" she asked. Philip was _not_ known to be a morning person, unless he had a morning class. "Well, the fact that it's Christmas day and you're out here would seem to be the prime motivating factor." "Flatterer," she said with a grin. "Get over here." She indicated the space next to her. "One moment..." He got up, closed his parent's door, and turned on the radio to FM 99.5. Setting the volume low, he then went over to the light switch and turned on the Christmas tree. Aerianne ooohed on cue. "That's beautiful," she whispered as Philip sat next to her. "Not as beautiful as some people I know," he responded as he pulled the blanket over them both as carols played softly over the radio. Aerianne didn't respond vocally to this, but just leaned against his shoulder as the watched the tree. Philip, acting on an underused reflex, put his arm around her shoulders. In response, Aerianne snuggled closer (another underused reflex), and there they sat for at least an hour. In other words, a perfect romantic mood. he thought to himself. He turned his head to look at Aerianne, who looked back with a small smile. "Um, Aerianne?" he asked. "Umhmmm?" she asked contentedly, quite comfortable where she was sitting. "Well, I wanted to ask you..." he started, but he was then interrupted as Christopher came into the room. "Hey, Philip! Let's get our stockings!" said his brother, not noticing how they were sitting. Philip turned to Christopher with a dark look on his face. "Christopher, I _will_ harm you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon; and then, you _will_ know the true meaning of pain." "Now, Philip, it's not like he was interrupting anything," she said in Christopher's defense with a mock-defensive tone and a playful smile on her lips. "but... But..." Philip tried to protest. "Go on, go get your stockings," Aerianne continued. "We can finish this later." She was still smiling as she sat up to let him get up. "Oh, all right." He resigned himself to his fate, and went downstairs to get the stockings. <<>> As the house slowly awoke, the family set to the task of unwrapping the gifts that were piled under the tree. This year, Christopher was the one handing out the presents, since Philip was sitting next to Aerianne on the sofa. Christopher would find a gift belonging to each of the people there and hand them out, and the intended recipients would unwrap them amongst much 'thank you's. Of course, there was someone new here this year, which did affect it a little. Aerianne was receiving presents from the rest of the family, but since Philip was the only one who had really gotten her anything major, her 'thanks' were a little more affectionate than the other expressions of gratitude that were going around. Philip blushed embarassedly while Christopher Ewwwed and Mommy and Daddy exchanged glances. However, she got her 'just desserts' when Philip got his presents from her. "Cool!" he exclaimed as he unwrapped the 'Transformers: The Movie' videocassette that she had given him. "How'd you know?" "Well, if you rent it and watch it three times straight, I'd think that's a pretty good hint." "Good point," he smiled as he hugged her and kissed her gently. Christopher ackked. "Oh, be quiet," he laughed as he accepted the next present, which was from Christopher. He unwrapped it with expectation, but then his face fell as he saw what it was. "Hey, don't you..." Aerianne started to say, but Philip cut her off as he clapped a hand over her mouth before she could say anything more. he mouthed silently. Aerianne, looking miffed, closed her mouth. Philip removed his hand and they went on. "Philip?" asked Aerianne as she sat next to him on the bed. "Yeah?" he replied. The presents were unwrapped, and now the family had split up to relax. Philip and Aerianne were sitting in his room listening to his new Allapalooza tape. "_Why_ did you silence me when I was about to tell you that you already had that Calvin and Hobbes book?" "It's a bit hard to explain, Aeri... Basically, no matter what you get on Christmas, you've always got to put up a good front, even if you've already got what you've been given. Usually you don't have to worry about it, but you always have to be ready just in case." "Oh." She thought about this new piece of info for a while, and then continued. "Well, _now_ what are you going to do with it?" "Well, I was thinking..." Just then, Christopher opened the door. "Hello!" he said. "Get out," Philip replied. "Goodbye!" Chris closed the door and left. "Good." Aerianne chuckled at Philip's rehearsed response. "Where was I?" "What you were going to do with the book?" she prompted. "Ah, yes... Well, I'm thinking of giving it to someone very close to me right now...." he said with a smile. Aerianne blinked in surprise. "Me?" "Well, you're the closest at the moment... unless you don't want it?" As a reply, Aerianne hugged him close, close enough that he could see his reflection in the purple triangular earrings he had given her. "I'll take that as a yes!" he managed to get out. Aerianne chuckled. That evening, Judy Fiterman, a friend of the family, came over for Christmas dinner. Her reaction to the presence of Aerianne was the one that Philip had grown to expect: total surprise that Philip could even _have_ a girlfriend, not to mention bring her home for Christmas. The dinner was a small one, although Philip did have to eat cauliflower casserole for the first time. Philip also had to endure the usual questions about school, life, and relationships, which he did with considerable aplomb, all things considered. Eventually, Judy had to leave, and the Family again went about their usual tasks. Philip and Aerianne sat around the computer while Daddy put together a fire in the fireplace. "Hey, Philip, come here a second," said his father, who was standing by the back door. "Hold on a second," he replied as he set /away. He got up and went over to the door. Aerianne, curious, followed him. Philip looked outside. "What is it?" Aerianne asked. "Snow?" Philip asked his dad as he and Aerianne looked outside at the snowfall. "It must have started after Judy left," his father commented. "But it was supposed to have happened _earlier_" Philip criticized. "Well, it counts... it's still technically Christmas day." "Yeah, I guess it is," he smiled. That night, Philip and Aerianne sat in front of the fireplace in the basement. The room was dark, except for the fire, and no one was around. Aerianne leaned against Philip, and both were warmed by the fire. The roaring fire gave the basement a cheery glow, as the flames were reflected on Philip's glasses and Aerianne's new earrings. In other words, a(nother) perfect romantic mood. Philip looked behind both his shoulders to check for any interruptions. No brothers, dogs, or parents were visible or audible. <_Now's_ the time,> he thought. "Um, Aerianne?" he asked. "Mmhmmm?" she asked contentedly, quite comfortable where she was sitting. "Would it be ok if I got up for a moment? I'll be right back." "Ok... but you'd _better_ be back," she said with a smile and a kiss before he got up. "Don't worry," he responded in kind. He ran upstairs and got the package he had left in his room. "What is it?" she asked as he came back with a long giftwrapped object in his hands and sat next to her. "Well..." he said as he handed it to her. "It's for you.... I wanted to wait until we were alone to give it to you, since I don't know how Mommy and Daddy would take me giving it to you." Aerianne raised an eyebrow at this, and Philip continued. "And hopefully, once you have this, you can give me back my golf umbrella?" "Don't bet on it," she said as she commenced unwrapping the present. As she finished, she held her breath as she saw what it was. "Oh...my...god..." She held it in front of her with both hands. "Do you like it?" Philip asked worredly. Not that there was much chance of there being a return/exchange policy... "Like it?" she said in awed tones as she looked at the japanese sword (with scabbard) he had given her. "I _love_ it!" Philip released the breath he was holding, although he sorta had to, since Aerianne was giving him a tight hug as an answer. "I was hoping you'd appreciate it," he managed to choke out as she hugged him. Aerianne, noticing his discomfort, decreased the strength of the hold and allowed him to return it in kind. They sat that way for a while, and then Aerianne released their embrace to look at the sword. It was ensconced in a simple leather-covered scabbard, with several loops and handles that would allow it to be slung over the shoulder, hung at the waist, or placed within a coat for a front draw. The swords's hilt was circular, as was the guard, and both were exquisitely detailed. The hilt was carved ivory with inlaid rubies, and the pommel was capped with a roaring dragon's-head. The guard was cut out in an elaborate tracery, but it was still thick enough stop any blow from reaching the weilder's hand. Having finished looking at the outside, Aerianne put one hand on the scabbard and one on the hilt and drew the sword. The blade sang out as it was released from it's imprisonment, and caught the flames and reflected them on it's surface. "It's...it's beautiful..." she whispered as the flames danced up and down the blade. The elaborate watermark flowed along the face, and seemed almost alive in the firelight. The blade was slightly shorter and straighter than a modern katana's blade, but Aerianne didn't care. She was too happy to care. They looked at the sword for a long time, until Aerianne decided that would be enough for tonight, and re- sheathed it with a single, fluid motion. The blade sang again as it entered its home. She put it down on the floor beside them, and then turned towards Philip. "Thank you," she whispered as she leaned on him, putting her arm around his waist. Philip placed an arm around her shoulders, and there they slept, in each other's arms, until the next day. 29) --- Warming Up ---------------------------------------------------- "Character is what you are in the dark." -- Lord John Whorfin TUESDAY, DECEMBER 28 "Philip, wake up!" a voice called from beyond his dreams. "hrmph," he replied to his unseen assailant, as he tried to bury himself deeper into the covers. He had been up _late_ last night IRCing, and he wanted to recoup his sleep debt, which currently matched the national debt in size. "Go 'way" he mumbled, burying his head under the quilts. The person persisted by removing the blankets and turning on the ceiling light. he thought as he opened his eyes. "Aerianne?" he blurted out as he realized who it was who was assailing him. "Come on, Philip, it's snowing outside!" he moped as he sat up on his bed. "Oh. Snow," he grumbled as he reached for the covers. "Good for you. Can I have my blankets back, please?" "Come on, Philip!" she said as she kept the blankets out of his reach. "I want to see what it's like!" She seemed very insistent, and Philip acquiesced, if just to get it over with. "Oh, alright," he said as he sat up and put on his glasses. He yawned. "Just wait for me to get changed, and I'll be right out." Aerianne stood there, waiting for him. "OutOutOutOutOut!" he said as he got up and made shooing motions towards the door. Aerianne left, amidst much giggling on her part and much grumbling on his part. Philip got changed, put on his coat and boots, and joined Aeri. Outside, the snow fell softly without a sound. (Well actually, it fell with the sound of snow upon snow, but that's pretty quiet anyway, so it's all the same). Any other sound that was emitted was muted and muffled, as if not daring to disturb the peaceful landscape. "This is beautiful," whispered Aerianne to Philip. "Mmphrl," he grumbled. He still wasn't awake. "Come on, Philip, wake up," she coaxed with a smile. "You only live once." "Yeah, which is why I want to experience all the sleep I can before I die." "You worry too much," she said as she hugged him. "You're not going to die anytime soon. I'll make _sure_ of that." "Hmph," he chuckled underneath his scarf. "Considering it's _you_ who's making that assertion, I'm inclined to believe you." Aerianne just smiled warmly. That evening they went for another walk, this time with the rest of the family. Philip and Aeri walked hand-in-hand, which drew interesting looks from his parents, but they ignored them with a smile. Christopher and Shadow joined them, and Chris kept on throwing snow for no apparent purpose than to annoy Philip. They walked around Garrett Park, marvelling at how pretty everything looked under the snow, and in general just enjoying the peace and quiet. When they finally got back to the house, Christopher asked Daddy if they could go out back and have a snowball fight. "You promised!" he insisted, even though no such promise had been made. Daddy said, "No, it's late. We should really go inside." "But Daddy!" Christopher continued to plead. "Christopher..." Daddy said, trying to stop Christopher's whining. Aerianne, her curiosity piqued, spoke up. "I'll play with you, Christopher." "Oboy!" Christopher said as he ran around to the back yard. "Come along, Philip," Aerianne said with a sly smile as she took his hand and pulled him along. "Oh. Joy," he said, grudgingly following her. The snowball fight, quite frankly, was ruthless. There were no loyalties in the battlefield in the backyard, for once Philip had been persuaded to join in (a snowball in the face usually does the job quite well), it became a total free for all, as snowballs flew everywhere. Alliances formed and dissolved within the space of the throwing of one snowball. Aerianne, for one, was having great fun, and she took every opportunity to paste Chris or Philip. Philip, for his part, took a lot of his agression out on Christopher, but whenever a snowball came his way by the "Aerianne express", he was sure to return it in kind. Christopher tried to hit the other two, and was having some success, but not much. (It's sort of hard for a 4' nine-year old to hit two 6' plus nineteen-year olds.) But eventually, it was Christopher's bedtime, and the three went back inside, amongst much protestation from both Christopher and Aerianne (although for different reasons). "Mommy, can't I stay out there 5 minutes longer?" "No, Christopher, it's time for bed." "Mommy!" "Now." With a reluctant grumble, he went to his room and got ready for bed. Philip and Aeri hung back in the hallway, and began to remove their snow-covered outerwear (for depositing in the bathroom to dry out). "Gods, I'm glad we came back in. It was positively _freezing_ out there!" Philip removed his hat and his water-soaked gloves. "Aren't you cold, just wearing a trenchcoat, jeans, and sweater?" he said as she removed her overcoat. "Oh, I'm not cold," commented Aeri. "I could have stayed out for much longer." "Oh, could you?" With that, he put his still-cold hands under her sweater and around her waist. "Aiiii!" Aeri jumped. "Why you..." She turned, and put her hands under his sweatshirt and T-shirt. "Ack! Hey!" he exclaimed. "Those hands are _cold_!" "Not any more," she said with a smile. They continued to stand there that way for some time. "Don't you think we should get out of the hall?" he asked, mirroring her smile. Aeri shrugged. "Not if you've got anything better to do." "Good point." (Eventually, they decided to move out of the hall, due to traffic conditions. They proceeded downstairs for their nightly IRCing/writing/ newsreading sessions, after which they watched Letterman.) It had been a long day. Philip changed into pajamas and got into bed, just waiting for the moment that he would become unconscious. He was straightening the covers as he heard a knock at the door. "Yeah?" he called out. "Come in," he said, not that it had ever stopped the rest of his family entering before. So of course he was surprised when it was Aerianne who entered the room. And he was even _more_ surprised when she moved over to the opposite side of the bed and got in. "Um, Aeri?" he asked cautiously. "Yes?" she said as she buried herself under the voluminous covers. "Why are you sleeping _here_?" he asked with confusion. "Well, your dad is out in the living room listening to his new CD's, and I didn't want to bother him," she stated matter of factly as she shifted some pillows over to "her" side. "Oh-kay," he Bull Shannoned as he processed this new piece of data. "Somehow I'm dealing with this better than I thought I would..." "Good for you, Philip," she yawned. Philip shrugged, and turned out the light. Aside from the fact that Aerianne had a tendency to lean over Philip to flip his "A Kind Of Magic" tape whenever it stopped, nothing happened that night. Philip slowly woke up. He blinked groggily, yawned, and then snuggled back into the covers. Which is when he noticed that there was _someone_ in the covers with him. He opened his eyes again, attempted to focus, and failed several times. He reached for his glasses and put them on. he thought to himself, and then blinked again as he realized _who_ it was in the bed with him. For a panicked moment, his mind scrolled through the last night's events, but finding nothing of error in the memory files, Philip relaxed. Everything was ok. Nothing had happened. Philip sighed, and looked at Aerianne, who was sleeping peacefully next to him. he mused as he lay there watching her. He noticed with some amusement that somehow Aerianne had gotten her hands on Pooh, and was even now clutching him close as she slept. He smiled, and leaned back on the pillows. Life was weird at times, yes; but then again, who was _he_ to complain? Part of him wanted to just lay there and watch her sleep. Unfortunately, the mischevious part of his mind was much larger and more dominant now than the aforementioned part... "Beep," he whispered as he touched her nose with his index finger. She blinked. "Huh?" she yawned as she woke up. Now it was his turn to smile as she woke up. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31 "Phil, I have a question..." Philip raised a hand, cutting her off. "Lemme guess... You want to know what's so special about New Year's, right?" he smiled. Aerianne blinked. "How'd you know?" Philip just continued to smile, and put on his best Connor MacLeod accent. "It's a kind of magic..." "Philip..." "Ok, ok... sheesh... Well, anyway, it's kind of strange. It's not a religious holiday..." Philip paused, trying to come up with an explanation. "And it's not exactly a secular holiday..." Again he paused, trying to come up with exactly the right words. "It's more of a *social* holiday, a celebration of a new year, of starting things over." he continued to himself, As sort of a culmination of his explanation, Philip went to the kitchen and brought back a green tinted bottle and two glasses. He passed the bottle to Aerianne for her approval. "Sparkling Cider?" she asked, looking at the label. "Yeah... I can't handle alcohol, and this tastes better, anyway," he said as he opened the bottle and poured the cider into two glasses. Aerianne watched with a smile as Philip poured the sweet cider into the glasses, then passed one to her with a flourish, perfectly timed with the television's final countdown to 1994. "Happy New Year!" they said as they toasted to the new year. SATURDAY, JANUARY 1, 1994 (LATER THAT SAME NIGHT) Philip made sure that everything was turned off, and retired to his room for the night. He heard a knock, and was not fully surprised to see Aerianne enter. What did surprise him was the fact that _this_ time she locked the door after entering. He raised a finger to inquire, but Aerianne just went "shhh..." and got into bed next to him. The fact that she was wearing a _very_ sly smile prompted him to ask a question after she settled in. "Um, Aeri, not that I don't enjoy your company, but _why_ are you _again_ sleeping in my room?" he asked after the light had been turned off. "Simple, silly..." she said as if explaining to a young child. "Your mom's sleeping on the sofa, so I can't sleep there, there's nobody downstairs, and I'm not about to snuggle up to Shadow." And to prove her point, she snuggled close to Philip. _Real_ close. "Ah..." Philip replied. "I see..." he said as his mind took into account the actions of the past few moments. Was this going where he _thought_ it was going? Half of him desperately hoped _not_, while the other half desperately hoped _so_. "You see what?" Aerianne slyly asked, as she got even closer (if that was even possible). "Nothing... nothing..." he backpedaled. "It's just that... are you pondering what I _think_ you're pondering?" he asked. "Gads, Phil, you astound me," Aerianne replied before kissing him. The kiss went on for a _long_ time, answering his question. "Are you _sure_ about this, Aerianne?" he asked after they kissed. He had to make _absolutely_ sure. "As sure as anything I've _ever_ done in _my_ life," she replied as they kissed again. "The question is: are _you_ sure?" This was an interesting twist, and Philip took it. "Hold on a sec... I need to consult..." he said as he reached for a figure above and to the left of Aerianne. "Consult?" she asked as he brought Pooh Bear over to him. He held him in front of him and looked at the stuffed bear that was as old as he was. Philip looked at the teddy bear. Although his arms were ramrod straight and his hands didn't move, did the bear appear to nod? Philip smiled, his eyes filled with tears. he mouthed as he hugged Pooh tight and kissed him tenderly. And then, without a sound, he slowly placed Pooh face down under the bed, and covered him with his small silken pillow. "I will never forget you, old friend," he whispered as he straightened himself back into the bed. "Yes?" Aerianne asked softly, not sure what had happened, but sure nonetheless that it had been important to Philip. Philip still made no sound. But when he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately in reply, Aerianne smiled. "Happy new year," she whispered in his ear. <<>> Goodnight, everybody. 30) --- Reunion ------------------------------------------------------- "This is only an exhibition, Not a competition. No wagering." -- David Letterman SUNDAY, JANUARY 2 Philip and Aerianne sat in his room, watching Star Trek and talking about life. More specifically, about wether his parents were _aware_ of the subtle changes in their relationship. "I'm not _sure_ if they're suspicious yet-- but I'm certain that they're aware _something's_ up," Philip was saying as they sat on the bed. "What makes you say that?" "Well, for one thing, I haven't yelled at Christopher all day..." Aerianne laughed at Philip's statement. "That and the fact that you haven't been able to wipe that goofy grin off your face since yesterday morning," she said with the same grin. "Has Mommy or Daddy asked about the katana yet?" he asked as she picked up the sword and unsheathed it. They had taken to calling it "The Katana", even though it wasn't one, because saying "The Sword that is somewhat shorter and straighter than a katana" gets repetitive after a while. "Nope. I have gotten some funny looks, though," she stated as she polished it. "Gee, I wonder why..." "Hah, hah, Philip," she said as she pointed at him with the sword. "Although, if they ask, I'll say I brought it with me..." she shrugged. "But your duffel bag couldn't have held a 3-foot piece of steel." "Picky picky..." she smiled as she finished polishing. That afternoon, Aerianne watched as Philip packed his backpack. "So, what are you planning to do tomorrow?" she said curiously. "Oh, I'm planning to go over to Blair," he stated. "What's that?" "It's my old high school..." "'High School'? What's it like?" Philip raised his eyebrows. Aerianne not knowing about high school? "Well... it's sort of a pre-college in one building, and you go there every day, and you have lots of classes..." "That doesn't sound very different..." "Trust me, it _IS_," he stated emphatically. "Actually, if you look under the bed... No, your side, Aeri," he said as she leaned over Philip's side of the bed, "you'll find my back issues of 'Silver Chips', the school paper." Aeri checked her side of the bed. Philip mused. he smiled to himself. "Those should help you," he continued once she had pulled them out. "Although it _has_ changed since I left there. It's more of a police state now than a school, but that's sort of how it goes, I guess..." She nodded thoughtfully, and began to read. MONDAY, JANUARY 3 Philip walked out back to find Aerianne. The snow had melted, but it was still cold, so he bundled up against the wind. He found her practicing swordwork with her katana. Christopher would toss a stick or other such object at her, and with one swing she would cut it in half as it flew through the air. Judging from the pile of cleaved objects at her feet, she had been at it for quite some time, and had been very successful at her task. She stopped and sheathed the sword as he approached. "You ready?" he asked as he picked up her trenchcoat and offered it to her. "Ready as I'll ever be," she said with a smile as she took the trenchcoat and put it on, nicely hiding the katana. "You're bringing the katana _with_ you?" he asked as they walked towards the car. "Well, _you_ were the one who said Blair had turned into a Police State since you went there." "Yeah, but I was speaking _metaphorically_," he responded as they reached the Citation and got in. "But still, it never hurts to be prepared," she said as she settled down and buckled up. "Good point," he said ruefully as he started the car. "Well, are you ready for Blair?" "I believe the question you're really asking is: Is Blair ready for _me_?" she said slyly. "You may have a point," Philip laughed out loud as they drove off. Montgomery Blair High School. A decaying, overcrowded, understaffed red brick public high school that was getting ever closer to the edge of falling apart. "But hey, it's home," said Philip out loud as they walked up the hill hand in hand towards the school. "Hmmm?" "Oh, nothing. Just remembering what Blair was like then, and how it is now...I still don't know how I survived there..." "Well, _obviously_ you did," commented Aerianne. "And I'm _glad_ I did," Philip finished with a smile. "No matter what happened, I'm glad my life's turned out the way it did. _Especially_ now." He chuckled. "Well, you better," Aerianne returned his smile with a sly grin. "Otherwise I might have to get...persuasive." Her hands moved as if to draw the katana. Philip laughed. "No, I'm not _that_ dumb. I have heard the old Japanese saying, after all." Aerianne, curious, asked, "What japanese saying?" Philip spoke in a pretty false japanese accent. "Never argue with woman who wield katana." Aerianne snickered at this as they reached the building. "Better stay close to me, this is probably gonna get a little rough." "Why?" she asked as they entered. "Well, Trevor _did_ say that he might stop by..." Philip smirked. Aerianne smiled, rolled her eyes, and put her arm through his. Philip and Aerianne turned towards the office. Moving over to one of the desks, Philip and Aerianne signed in. Philip was asked to remove his bandanna by a security guard, and he did so, grumbling. "How the heck do they expect me to see?" he groused as they walked back down the hallway. The hair covered his eyes, which gave him a slightly mutant Roy Folkker look. Aerianne chuckled, but was cut off as the bell rang. Aerianne became confused as students began to pour out of the classrooms on their way to lunch or their next class. "What's going on?" She raised her voice to make herself heard. "Class change!" Philip replied, still holding onto her hand to keep her from getting lost. Aerianne hung on, and eventually they made it to a stairwell. Aerianne asked him more directly as they stayed out of the way of traffic. "What the _hell_ is all that?" she said, pointing to the passing students. "We're between periods... Comeon, you've gone to high school, you know what it's like!" Philip stated, wondering why someone would ask such an obvious question. "No, I haven't," Aerianne pointedly replied. Philip blinked. "Ok, this is news... How'd you make it into UM without having a high school transcript?" he continued to question. "Philip, I _don't_ want to talk about this right now..." she said with forcefulness. Philip backed off, realizing he had gone too far. "Ok, ok, I'll let it drop... I'm just wondering..." he apologized. Aerianne was calmed by this. "That's ok... I sometimes wonder, too..." "Huh?" A quick glance from her stopped that line of questioning. "Nevermind... Come on," he said, switching gears and leading her back into the halls towards the Study Hall. "Ready for your big debut?" "I'm ready... Let's blow some brain cells!" she said with a sly smile as they entered. C-103, the Magnet Study Hall. Usually, this room served as an _actual_ study hall for Magnet students, or as an overflow classroom for classes that needed to use the computers, but today it had been commandeered by the returning alumni so that they could kibbitz with their younger Magnet brethren, their teachers, and Mrs. Wiz, the Magnet assistant who was in charge of running the study hall. Kevin Yeh, Jeff Hostetler, and Aaron Greenhouse were at the whiteboard bringing the word of Rev. Xmos to all; Matias Duarte was there, as was Josh Adams and Jen Pierce; and many other alumni came and went as they visited old friends. Trevor came in, expecting Philip to be there already, since he knew from past experience that Philip habitually tried to be early to anything he attended; but not finding him there, he began to mix and mingle with the others. Trevor, while talking to someone else, noticed Philip and Aerianne enter out of the corner of his eye. He turned to welcome them, but then he noticed something amiss. They were talking to each other. That was ok, but the fact was that they were rather _close_ together. _Really_ close. Holding *hands*, even! Before Trevor could move to comment, he saw something that he never thought he would _ever_ see in his entire lifetime. "Please tell me I'm not seeing what I _think_ I'm seeing...." he said to anyone who would listen. Peter, who was nearby, glanced at Trevor, and followed his pointing finger towards the source of his dumbfoundment. "What? It's just Philip and Aerianne kissing... Did I just say that?" Peter said as the full import of his words hit him. Sudden silence and shock seized the study hall like a sudden Calculus exam as everyone turned to look... and... stare.... James cleared his throat significantly, breaking the silence. Everyone turned to look at him. He just waved "hi", and turned back to his computer. "Why, hello Philip!" said Mrs. Wiz as she came over to greet the new arrivals. "Hi, Mrs. Wiz! Happy new year!" he said as he let go of Aerianne's hand and hugged Mrs. Wiz. "And who's this, Philip?" she asked with a smile, noticing Aeri for the first time. "OH! You two have't been introduced yet! Aeri, this is Mrs. Wisnewski, but everyone calls her Mrs. Wiz. Mrs. Wiz, this is Aerianne." "Well, hello Aerianne!" Mrs Wiz said as she hugged her. "Hi, Mrs. Wiz!" Aerianne responded in kind, and then stepped back. "Would it be ok, Mrs. Wiz, if I used your account to log onto mine?" "Sure, Aerianne!" Mrs. Wiz told Aerianne how to log onto her account, and then Aerianne moved over to one of the Mac Plusses that had a Vax line and logged on. Philip took off his backpack and coat and placed it on a nearby table. He sat down at a nearby chair, and for the next few moments just sat there looking at Aerianne as she sat at the computer. He sighed. Philip thought to himself. Trevor, noticing that Philip was alone, decided to confront him. It had to be a joke... It just _had_ to! "So... How's Aerianne?" Trevor asked, trying to catch Philip off guard. Philip, not really noticing Trevor was there, continued his previous thought out loud. "Oh, wonderful..." he replied, in possibly the dreamiest, cloud nine voice that could ever be produced. Trevor blinked. "No. Nonononono. Not, not _you_. That's not POSSIBLE!" he said in denial. Philip, coming to, turned and looked at Trevor. A Smirk(tm) played about his face as he answered. "Possible; _Very_, very possible." "a...ee....urk...." (just look at those neurons self-destruct!) "Yes, Trev?" Smirk. Trevor's eyes narrowed in an attempt to look fearsome, but couldn't keep a smile from his face. In a low voice, with great restraint, he said "You suck, Phil." "Glad to hear it, Trev," Philip replied with a broad smile. "Philip?" asked Aerianne as she came over. Philip turned from the stewing Trevor to answer. "Yes?" "I'm having some trouble logging on... What's wrong with Trevor?" she said as she noticed Trevor's mental state for the first time. "Oh, him?" he asked as he turned to look at the now-brooding college freshman. "He's just having a system error... Pay him no mind," he said with a smile as they walked towards the computer in question. Trevor just sat there, holding his head in his hands, just shaking his head from side to side. "So, what system error do you think that is?" Kevin asked amusedly to Jeff. "Number 666?" Jeff pondered with a smile. Without looking up, without even stopping his head motion, Trevor replied, "Something. Like. That." Suddenly inspired, Kevin and Jeff adjourned to the whiteboard, where they began to write a new "Poem Of The Day." Aaron helped with the rhyming scheme a little, and wrote down the poem for future reference. Finally, Jeff read the poem out loud. "Plagues, demons, and 666 Are signs of the Apocalypse, I'm told... But when Philip Moyer gets a girlfriend, You _know_ it's the end of the world." Below the poem there was a list of degrees that trailed off into infinity. The full meaning of what they'd just written sank into Aaron's brain, and he was suddenly filled with a need to ask Philip a certain question. He found them sitting in front of two computers, logged into their respective accounts. The fact that they were sitting there, arm-in-arm, somewhat hampered their typing ability, but they made do. Aaron came over and leaned on the couple. Philip mused to himself, Philip looked up at Aaron and said through clenched teeth, "Yes, Aaron? I'm _busy_ here." Aaron's face was totally innocent as he said, "I'm just looking at the situation and I have no choice but to ask you who you are and what you've done with the real Philip." Philip looked at Aaron with a smile that could have been innocent or deadly. "Aaron, I like you too much to kill you." There was a long pause before Philip added "...with Aerianne watching." "I don't care _what_ you say," Trevor insisted. "I still don't believe that you can even _have_ a girlfriend!" "Well Trev, it's like the SETI argument-- Depending how you set the variables, it's either 0 or 1. Well,as you can see, it's _definitely_ not zero!" "Great. Tell me when Spock arrives." At that point, Meg Smith, Trevor's on-and-off girlfriend (now on), entered the math lab. Trevor's attitude improved greatly as she walked over and gave Trevor a kiss. The two of them melted completely into each other. If looks could talk, the one that Trevor shot Philip would say something like "Eat this." Philip looked at Aerianne. Aerianne looked at Philip. They nodded. The war had begun. This was going to be fun. TO BE CONTINUED... 290) --- Soundtrack, Explanations, and Other Stuff -------------------- For anyone who's interested, here's the "Soundtrack" for part _one_ of SERENDIPITY (part _two_ coming sometime!), available from Sticky Turtle Records: Spock Walk : Star Trek - The Motion Picture King Of Wishful Thinking : Go West Theme from BACK TO THE FUTURE 3 Red Barchetta : RUSH Thunderstruck : AC/DC Princes Of The Universe : Queen Nothin's Gonna Stand In Our Way : Spectre General Hunger : Spectre General Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic : The Police Dare : Stan Bush It Feels Like Christmas: The Muppet Christmas Carol The Speed Of Love : RUSH Ok. Now that you've gotten through part one, I feel that I owe you all an explination or two, and answer any questions you may have. One of the questions I'm sure you have is: What the heck is this all about? It's all quite simple, really - This is a case study of _Serendipity_- the faculty of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for. This is what happens when an Anime Newbie exposed through text, fanfic, and pictures, has (totally by accident) dimensional entities pass through his head and take the definitions for their personalities and physicalities from his thoughts, impressions, emotions, and images (Hey, it could happen!). However, the images are somewhat "scrambled", therefore the the first three entities that use the mental definitions end up being a mix of characters, instead of being one specific character or another. Of course, the villans also come from the same mind, but they had more coherent images, so they came out more "well defined". However, with their "images" intact, they naturally followed their original impluses, which were to _take over the world_. The three entities who had fuzzier definitions had some of their original personalities still showing through. Now that that's out of the way, I'll take care of some of the things in the story that you may not be familiar with (in the order you encountered them): Gryphon, ReRob, and Megazone: The three original authors of _Undocumented Features_, see below. The University Of Maryland, College Park: As you may have guessed, UMDCP is the setting for this story. It is a _large_ campus, but a nice one; with a lot of buildings, concrete paths, grass, and trees. All the buildings and roads (with a few exceptions) are oriented to be square with the four cardinal directions, making the entire layout easier to draw. The campus, being so big, is also slightly (yaright) hilly, with the lowest portion at Route One to the east, and the highest part to the west with Adelphi Road. The campus itself is often divided into four areas: North Hill, South Hill, the High Rises, and everything else. The dorms on campus are named after counties (on South Hill and North Hill) and cities (the High Rises) in Maryland. WAM lab: The WAM (Workstations At Maryland) labs are the primary public- access computer labs for UMCP. Each lab has a mix of Macintosh, IBM, and NeXTstations, all linked together by ethernet with the WAM UNIX servers (the Macs and IBMs use terminal emulators, while the NeXTs connect directly). These servers are acessable through modem or direct ethernet connection. The various labs are as follows. Parking Garage Two (PG2): Situated in the basement of Parking Garage Two is one of the largest labs on campus, with a pretty even mix of Macs, IBMs, and NeXTs. This lab also has a public-access scanner, and is very nicely maintained. Radios don't work so well in there, so people play tapes instead. It is open 24 hours. Engineering and Physical Sciences Library (EPSL): On the second floor of the EPSL library (in the Math Building) is another lab, with a small contingent of NeXTs and Macs. This lab is only open when the library is open (Duh). Worcester (WOR): This computer lab, which has _nothing_ to do with _Undocumented Features_ ;), is in the basement of an all-girls dorm, yet is still open 24 hours (it has a separate entrance). It's also close to the South Campus Dining Hall and other various North Hill buildings. Undergraduate Library (UGLI): In the basement of Hornbake Library (everything seems to be in the basement, doesn't it?) is the other large WAM lab. This one is filled with Macs and IBMs, and also has a large study area attached to it, which is open 24 hours, even when the library is closed. Centerville (CVILLE), Computer Science Center (CSC): Although not visited in the story, these are the other two major WAM labs. The one in Centerville is in the basement of the building, while the one in the CSC is split into three teaching labs, one for each type of machine. The UNIX servers and Cmsc class servers are also located in the basement of the CSC. GLUE labs: The GLUE labs are another set of public-access accounts run by the Compsci and Engineering colleges. They aren't as well used, since they're all on the east side of campus, but they hold the more powerful machines, consisting of DECs and SPARCs. Telly Monster: From _Sesame Street_. If you don't know this, man, you need to watch PBS more often. _Undocumented Features_ (sometimes referred to as UF): _Undocumented Features_ is, IMHO, the _GREATEST_ anime fanfiction series ever written. Originally written by three guys up at WPI (Gryphon, MegaZone, and ReRob) as a one shot story, it began to grow. And grow. And grow. Until even other authors began adding to it, making it grow even more. It has a little of everything, and is almost guaranteed to turn even the most ignorant person about anime into an anime addict (like it did to me ;). READ IT! The instructions in chapter six are no longer exactly the ones you need to get them, the directory is now just /anime, and all the files are gzipped instead of compressed, but the rest is still the same. Do it, and your life will never be the same again [For those of you who have no idea how to FTP, here's how to get the stories: 1) type 'ftp wpi.wpi.edu' on your account 1b) if that doesn't work, try 'ftp 130.215.24.1' instead 2) type 'anonymous' at the "Name" prompt 3) type your _full_ user name as the password 4) Once inside, type 'cd anime' to change directories 5) type 'ls' to get a _long_ list of files 6a) type 'mget dp.undocument.*' to get the original UF stories 6b) type 'mget dp.uf.*' to get all the short stories 6c) type 'mget dp.u*' to get everying on UF (be sure you have plenty of filespace first!) 7) answer 'y' to each query to download 8) type 'quit' when done All the files are gzipped with the .gz suffix, you may need to rename each file with .z before unzipping them with gunzip.] The _Diamondback_: The campus newspaper. Gordo, Rufus, and Aerianne: When I started this story in the summer, I was planning to have the three authors of UF pop into the PG2 lab, scaring the hell out of me and starting the story. However, in an Email message from Zoner, he dissuaed me from this tangent, as he and Gryphon were planning their _own_ spinoff for the authors (which became _Hopelessly Lost_, also available at WPI). Instead, he suggested a slight modification, which brought Gordo, Rufus and Aerianne into being. Gordo, Rufus, and Aerianne are not based on any one anime character, but instead are based on anime archtypes. Gordo is a cross between the Big Guy(tm) and the Educated Man(tm), Rufus embodies the Anime Inventor(tm) archtype, and Aerianne is the classic Anime Woman(tm). However, these archtypes are not the be-all-end-all for them, as the story illustrates... Ray: You'll find out who he is in part two... Korzon, Gleepians: Borrowed from Dan Sandler's comic books (a friend from high school) that he drew, Gleepians are green, floating aliens that have no limbs and a single eyestalk with eyeball. They have natural telekenisis, and can also fire megawatt beams from their eyes. Melmacians, General Larson Petty and his Aide-de-campe Sloop: Stolen from the ALF cartoon. Tigris, Felizians: A standard felinoid alien type, not really stolen from anywhere. Fred: Read part two, folks... _Forum_: The shortened form of _A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum_, a really cool musical that I like. It is based on the Roman comedies of Plautus, which had a lot of slapstick humor. Wildwood Summer Theater: A summer nonprofit theatre that I'm involved in that is run entirely by young adults from 15 to 25. We do one show a year, a musical, and we have a lot of fun doing it. _Hopelessly Lost_: The other major fanfic series created by Gryphon and Megazone, this one is more of an... interesting version of BubbleGum Crisis. Although not a part of the UF story, it's "started" by an event in UF, and runs to somewhere else...(like _I'm_ about to tell you what happens, read it yourselves!) It too is available from WPI, under 'bgc.hoplessly.lost.*' Trevor Syndrome: The inability to have a steady relationship for any major length of time (anything greater than 1~2 weeks is considered a 'major' length of time). The Bagel Place: A small restauraunt at the intersection of Route One and Regents Drive, across from the Maryland Book Exchange. Their main food item, naturally, are bagels. The Closet Of Comics: A comic book store that also carries manga and anime, this store is situated on Route One to the south of The Bagel Place, just a short walk away from my dorm :) . It is staffed by a real cool group of guys, including John Staton. Daniel "Deeds" Dukke and Ferdinand "Ferdy" Fox (sometimes referred to as DD & FF): The creation of former student John Staton, the team of Dukke and Fox starred in _the Diamondback_ for four years, starting in 1988. They are _Action Heroes(tm)_, and their motto is "We fight for truth, Justice, and Anything We Can Get Away With." Kei and Yuri would be proud of them. IRC: Internet Relay Chat. Don't get involved with it unless you _really_ want to, it is as addictive as hell. Unicron: Watch _Transformers: The Movie_, and you will understand... FOWL: The Fiendish Organization for World Larceny, borrowed from Darkwing Duck and taken over by Ray, making it a _hell_ of a lot more efficient in the process. Erasable Inc.: UMD's own improvisational comedy group, which is really cool. The Atrium: A room in the Stamp Student Union, which has three large skylights. Last year, Inc. performed there often, but nowadays, they roam about more often. The Citation-From-Hell: A 1982 Chevy Citation that has outlasted anything else our family has owned. _We_ don't call it the Citation-From-Hell, this is just an allusion to the vehicles from UF and Otaku Rising (also available from WPI). Star and Infinity: The activation sequence for the time-travelling- telephone booth from _Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure_. Trevor's Nosebleed: For those of you who don't recognize this standard Anime/Manga convention, this refers to the fact that when a male views an attractive female and is sexually aroused, blood rushes to the male's head with such pressure that it breaks the capillaries in the nose, causing a nosebleed. This reaction _can_ be taken to extremes, but it was decided that we didn't want to bother with cleaning the floor. Pooh Bear: From A.A.Milne's 'Winnie The Pooh'. Basically, this refers to the fact that I associate with Pooh, owning at least two stuffed versions of him. He's been with me for a long time, and anyone who says I _can't_ have stuffed animals because I'm in college has another thing coming! The Midnight Movie: Every midnight on Friday and Saturday, the Hoff Theater in the Student Union shows a more _unusual_ movie at a reduced price. These movies are often well recieved. _Highlander_: You don't know what this is?! Go to your nearest video store and rent it _NOW_!!! TBGTSTUAKA (The Beginners Guide To Saving The Universe And Kicking Ass) This is a little concept I came up with one night on IRC, still unwritten, that serves as a handbook for the prospective hero and/or hero team. Inspired by UF, but taking stuff from a lot of other sources, TBGTSTUAKA has chapters on such subjects as: "Becoming A Hero", "Morals", "Looking Cool", "Vehicles", "Public Relations", "The Enemy", and various classic Situations you could encounter. TAS: The Terrapin Anime Society. Meets every other Sunday in Hornbake for four hours, and shows a varied selection of anime. Currently, we're working our way through Maison Ikkoku two episodes at a time, as well as showing other OAVs and shorter series. Anne Arundle Hall: The honors dorm, recently refurbished, across from Tawes Theatre. Tawes Fine Arts: The fine arts building, housing the Dance, Music, and Theatre Departments. It holds the mainstage theater, Tawes, as well as Pugliese Theatre (A 99 seat thrust stage) and a 25 seat black-box Experimental Theatre. The building is due to be outdated, since a new performing arts complex is being designed, but it won't be finished until I graduate :P . Velociraptor Rapensis: See _Jurrasic Park_. Shampoo: From _Ranma 1/2_, this refers to the Character's propensity to explode from walls. While Aeri doesn't do this in the story, there is a general feeling that she could do it if she wanted to. 'Shampoo' can also refer to charging into a battle swinging heavy objects, which Aerianne _does_ do. Fly System: The system of couterweights, cables, and battens that lifts and lowers scenery and electrics above the stage. Bill Brandwein: The master electrician at Tawes. David (Kriebs): The Technical Director at Tawes, and my Thet 170 (stagecraft) instructor. Brighton Beach Memoirs: The Fall '93 show on Tawes Mainstage, written by Eugene O'Neill. Hellicott Hall: Another comic from _the Diamondback_, created by Eric L. Dunn, this one featured the denizens of "Hellicott Hall" (a bastardization of _Ellicott Hall_). It started a year earlier than DD & FF, and ended a year before they ended. The characters of Hellicott Hall are: Horse: The "Author Character" of the series, Horse is 6-5, well built, loves rock, and is a Design major (?) Shaggy: "thespianique reject from the hair cuttery", known for his love of rock, theatre, skateboarding, and other intellectual pursuits BJ: the eternal freshman of the series, who serves as a foil the other characters Spud: The token rich/short/stuck-up kid Jim Hooligan: The token redneck of the group Lugnutz: The MechEng. from the first 2 years of comics. He was the main modifier of "Black Betty", a station wagon with an F-15's engine Sarge: Horse's pet alligator. Ok, so he's bipedal, and can talk. Deal. Iggy: Horse's cousin. A small, black, horned furball on rollerskates. He carries around large weapons and a bad attitude. CVR, Battler Cyclone, Sabre Cyclone, Lite Cyclone: See Robotech or UF for the details on this very "amusing" power armor system. DOE: The Department Of Energy, in Washington, DC. "Strangers In Paradise": From one of my favoritiest musicals of all time, _Kismet_. "Pretty Women": This song is _not_ from the movie _Pretty Woman_, but from the musical _Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street_. What a nice love song is doing in a play about a psychopathic barber is beyond me. "Dulcinea","The Impossible Dream": From the musical _Man Of La Mancha_. The Valkyrie Helecopter: "Borrowed" from the DD & FF comic, the Valkyrie (no relation to the mecha from ROBOTECH) is the world's first nuclear stealth hypersonic attack helicopter. It was stolen from the US Air Force by a unit of New Zealand Sheep Commandos, after which it was stolen _back_ by DD & FF. After that, the Valkyrie has been on indefinite loan to the Dukke and the Fox. It's stats are: Power Plant: Dual GE 80002B Nuclear Reaction Turbines Top Speed: 6.87*10^-5 c (~~ 61.42 mach) Flight Ceiling: 85,000 feet Defensive Systems: ALQ500 Electronic Missile Countermeasures 50 Kiloton emergency cumpulsory self detonator Offensive Systems: 4 Vulcan M61E 20mm guns 1 Gannon MBTY6 variable targeyting 50mm auto transmission cannon 40 assorted missiles and antimissiles [Don't expect to see this in the WDF registry any time soon. -- Ed.] FM 99.5: The local 'easy listening' station, which has a tradition of playing Christmas Carols and other related songs as the days get closer to Christmas. Bull Shannon: The big, loveable bailiff from the 80's tv series _Night Court_. Montgomery Blair High School: Just north of Silver Spring, MD, bordered by Sligo Creek and Dennis Avenue, sits a red brick amalgam of buildings known as Montgomery Blair High Scool. It is the current housing of the Magnet and CAP programs (see below), and has a reputation for Westinghouse Finalists, guns in school, Superquest Projects, and Inner-City Mayhem. If this seems confusing to you, then think what it must be like to actually _go_ there for four years! Roy Folkker: From Robotech, this top-rated pilot was able to fly a state-of-the- art mecha while having one eye entirely covered by his wild hair. The Magnet Program: A Math, Compsci, and Physical Sciences program run by Montgomery county, housed at Blair High School. The magnet program takes the best students from all over Montgomery County, and ships them every day to Montgomery Blair, an "Inner City" school. How Silver Spring, MD can be considered "Inner City" is beyond the author's ability to comprehend. Once you are in the Magnet, your cirriculum is pretty much set for the first two and a half years, after which you start to diversify. However, you still _also_ have to satisfy the Montgomery County requirements as well. Also, due to the extra course load, the magnet day has one more class period than the rest of the school. Even so, the Magnet is a... unique experience, and suffice it to say, _neither_ of the authors would be what they are today if it wasn't for the Magnet. Study Hall: A Magnet icon, for 3 years the Study Hall was _the_ place to be during lunch periods. Magnet students would come in to eat lunch, work on the Mac Plusses, play games, talk, juggle, and other things. Unfortunately, due to the increasing class size over the past few years, the lunchtime crowd has been pushed out to make room for classes. Mrs. Wiz: The "Math Assistant" who resides in the Study Hall, she is another Magnet Icon, as she has pretty much been there since the beginning of the magnet's existance. Without her, it would probably fall to it's knees. Rev. Xmos: The creation of Jeff Hostetler, Kevin Yeh, and Aaron Greenhouse, the good reverend's writings (the infamous Poems Of The Day (POTD)) have been appearing on the Study Hall's whiteboard ever since my (philip's) sophomore year. However, as the study hall declined and the original authors left for different colleges, Rev. Xmos. faded into obscurity. But don't count the good Adm. Lieut. Dr. Prof. Mr. Mrs. Miss. Reverend Xmos, DDS DMV PDQ CPR Jr. out yet. :) --- This story was written on the University Of Maryland's WAM Unix system over a period of who _knows_ how many days and nights, on whatever editor was available (either vi or Edit), using many different sources, inspirations, aspirations, complications, degradations, aggravations, alleviations, elevations, passions, and affections. We thank you for your support. Live long and prosper. Philip Moyer---------------Qapla'------------pmoyer@wam.umd.edu "To boldly go where no one has gone before!"-Capt. J. L. Picard "Roads? Where we're going we don't NEED roads!"-Dr. E. L. Brown "Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection, The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me."-Kermit The Frog ---------"If it can be dreamed, It can be done."- ReRob-------- ************************************************************* Trevor W. Schadt (412)862-2305 paladin+@cmu.edu Box 4813, 5115 Margaret Morrison St., Pittsburgh, PA, 15213-3890 Electrical and Computer Engineering, Carnegie Mellon University "There are more things on Heaven and Earth, Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy." -W. Shakespeare >THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE<