pmoyer@wam.umd.edu (Philip Jeremy Moyer) Imagination, Unlimited in association with Offthetopofmyhead Writer's Guild presents A Wam-Andrew Coproduction Of An ASCII/BINARY Film SERENDIPITY (part 2) THE SEMESTER OF OUR DISCONTENT Written By Philip Jeremy Moyer With Trevor W. Schadt --- CAST --- (In Order Of Appearance) Philip ............................................ Philip Jeremy Moyer Aerianne .............................................. Aerianne Connor Charley ................................................ Charles Raptor Emmy ................................................... Emerson Raptor Winnie .............................................. Winchester Raptor Gordo ................................................... Gordo Edwards Rufus ..................................................... Rufus Brown Ray ............................................................... Ray Trevor ............................................... Trevor W. Schadt JHC ....................................... Jesus H. Christ Superlizard Wyndi .................................................. Wyndi Anderson Rebecca ................................................. Rebecca Dodds Shaggy ......................................................... Shaggy James .................................................... James Rogers Galen ............................................... Galen Silversmith Horse .................................................... Eddie Deemon Jim ...................................................... Jim Hooligan Mr. Yee .................................................... Robert Yee Mrs. Wiz ............................................... Anne Wisnewski Lugnutz ....................................................... Lugnutz Byron ................................................ Brian St. George Liam ...................................................... Liam Davitt Jeff ................................................... Jeff Hostetler Kevin ....................................................... Kevin Yeh Aaron ................................................ Aaron Greenhouse --- Guest Appearances By --- Rahel .................................................... Rahel Zubari Peter/Ender .............................................. Peter Gordon Neel .................................................... Neel Vibhakar DigiCom ................................................ Mario DiGacimo Corinthian ......................................... J. Daedalus Govoni Petty ............................................... Gen. Larson Petty Zoner .......................... Brian ("That's not my name!") Bikowicz Vaughn ................................................... Vaughn Gross Diana .................................................. Diana Sakolsky Mark ................................................... Mark Silverman AJ ......................................................... AJ Morning JD .............................................. Jesse David (JD) Falk Tina ....................................................... Tina Brace Peter ................................................. Peter DeGlopper Matt ..................................................... Matt Andrews Spud ........................................ Johanthan Q. Peabody, III Steve .................................................... Steve Albain Marlo .................................................. Marlo Goldberg Alex ...................................................... Alex Cooper Matias .................................................. Matias Duarte The Terrapin Corps ............................ j*rand(Magnet Students) K. Random UMD Students -- And -- EDISON BELL as himself --- Credits --- Based On An Original (?) Concept and Story By Philip Moyer Special Effects By Damage, Inc. Costumes by Various Closets And Drawers, Etc. Hair Styling by Olympian Barbers and Fire-Water-Air-Earth Styling Salon Vehicles by TechieThings And LargeMechas Ltd. Stuntwork by MacCleod Stunts, Inc. Sets built by the students of THET 170 Lighting by the staff of Tawes Theatre Music by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Vocals by Rockapella Squid by Sid Story Editing and General Comments by The D-Hall Group, the #Eyrie Editorial College, and the wonderful folks at the Closet of Comics Storyboarding by the Closet Of Comics Film Crew provided by the folks at channel U62 Video Editing by The Flagship Channel Projection Services by the Hoff Theatre Mutagen courtesy of Eastman and Laird Hellicott Hall characters created by Eric L. Dunn, used with permission Ray Rabbit created by John Staton, used with permission Gleepians created by Dan Sandler, used with permission Edison Bell created by Ben "Gryphon" Hutchins, used with permission Smirk(tm) is a licensed trademark of Eyrie Productions, Uninc. Evil/Maniacal Grins(tm) are licensed trademarks of TCS PRODUCTIONS, LIMITED LEGO bricks provided by the LEGO Group Published by Magnetic Terrapin Studios, ErasInc. Filmed on location at the University Of Maryland, College Park, The Greater DC Metropolitan Area, and Worcester Polytechnic Institute. They will disavow any knowledge of the filming, so don't ask them. DISCLAIMER: Although based on real events during the Spring 1994 semester, a lot of the aftereffects resulting from those events didn't happen. But don't let that prevent you from enjoying the story. :) Copyright (c) 1993-1995 by Philip Jeremy Moyer and Trevor W. Schadt ---Acknowledgements--- Philip: Dedicated (and Thanks) To: My parents: For putting up with me, and accepting (mostly) that this is something I _want_ to do. (And they thought I was weird before). I'm sorry that I seem to be going through the Teenage Years _now_. Trevor: For providing another point of view, and for putting up with me as this story got near the end. Hope everything goes well for you -- you deserve it. My friends at Blair: I wish you luck, as you all go into the Great Wide Open. I'll miss you during the school year, but I know _most_ of you will have to come back for summer break ;) To Sonida: My first fanboy, who gave me encouragement on IRC before I had even BEGUN this thing. You frighten me, man... :) To Rae L. Yip: To my first email fanboy, who is about as excited about this entire thing as I am. I'm glad to see _someone's_ reading this thing. ^_^ To the gang on #Eyrie: Thank you for the dialogue suggestions and encouragement. :) To Rogue1: For making me -think- about all this, and for making the series a lot more complex than I had planned. ( Should I be thanking you for that? *shrug* *grin* :) To PCHammer: For helping me make Aerianne Connor more than a character, but an actual -person-. ^_^ ( ^_^ ) To Mechaman: For keeping me focused (a herculean task, to be sure). To John Staton: For reminding me that the _characters_ are more important, for letting me use Deeds and Ferdy in part one, and for being a Cool Dude in general. Hope you get published soon, man! To Eric L. Dunn: For not stuffing me in a trash can. ;) To anyone else: "I write because I am personally amused by what I do, and if other people are amused by it, then it's fine. If they're not, then that's also fine." -- Frank Zappa And once again: To Aerianne. "Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this son of York." -- Richard, Duke of Gloucester, RICHARD III, I.i.1 (William Shakespeare) 31) --- Snowbound ----------------------------------------------------- "Bored... Nothing To Do!" -- Peter Spier SATURDAY, JANUARY 15, 1994 Philip and Aerianne returned to the University of Maryland on the fifteenth of January. The last two weeks had been a blast, as far as he and Aeri were concerned. His family had gotten used to the fact that Aerianne and Philip were now _close_, although _how_ close was still a matter of some conjecture. But Philip and Aeri weren't about to tell. It was almost a shame that they had to go back, they wouldn't have _nearly_ as much privacy at the dorm as they did at home (namely because Philip had a roommate). Philip ruefully thought to himself. That one time when Christopher had burst into his room... Philip chuckled. Getting out of that one had taken all of their combined theatre skills to convince Chris that he had actually seen them rehearsing a scene for an audition... Aerianne raised an eyebrow as Philip chuckled to himself. He turned and smiled at her as he took her hand in his. "What is it?" she asked, smiling back. "Oh nothing... just you," he said, leaning on her shoulder as his dad drove the Suburban to UMD. The time that it took to unload the truck was much less than the time that it had taken for them coming home. His dad and Aeri helped him load in (also, Philip was returning with less stuff, which helped greatly), and once all of Philip's stuff was loaded into his room, his dad treated them to lunch at the Jerry's down Route One. "Philip, I didn't know you were _that_ hungry!" marveled Aerianne as he consumed an entire large pizza. "Just call me Audrey II," he smiled as leaned back, sated. "'Audrey II'?" "'Feed me Seymour, Feed me all night long!'" he quoted with a grin. Aerianne just shook her head. That afternoon, Philip unpacked. Aerianne helped him, after she had put her duffle bag of stuff back into her room. The books went back onto the shelves, clothes went back into drawers, files went back into cabinets, and the bed was remade. Finally, after several hours, Philip flopped into his bed with an exhausted sigh. Aerianne joined him. "Well, hello," he said with a smile as Aerianne snuggled next to him. "Well, now what?" "Unfortunately, a lot more. I've gotta get textbooks, notebooks, organize my papers, get my binders ready, prepare a resume," he stuck his tongue out at this, "and then do some review for Calc III..." "Calc III? I'm taking that," Aerianne interjected. "Oh? What section?" he asked with interest. "0201." "Oh, foof," he said as a small flash of disappointment crossed his face. "At least we can study together... Although now I doubt if we could ever study together again," he said with a grin. "I have a feeling you'd drive me to distraction." "No I wouldn't," she said in mock-protest, although her eyes and her sly smile said otherwise. "You know, you ought to get that smile registered as a weapon someday." "Perhaps I will." After this quick exchange, Philip pulled himself out of the bed reluctantly, and set to work on the tasks he had described. Aerianne stayed in his room a little longer, but then she got up too, since she needed to do some of the same things as he was doing. A quick kiss, and she departed for her own suite across the hall. That evening, after having dinner together at the Roy's in the Union, they watched Highlander (the series). Since it was _late_ at night (look, 10 pm is too late to be watching stuff if you need to get up at 7 am), and the TV was at the end of Philip's bed anyway, they sat in his bed and watched the episode. It was actually a pretty good episode, the one where a female immortal had sworn revenge on Richie. Aerianne especially liked the part where Duncan was teaching Richie how to use a sword, and the duel at the end. But finally, the show ended, and Philip got up to get changed for bed. He wasn't really surprised to see that Aerianne had stayed in the bed, but he decided to make sure, all the same (although, by this time, he was starting to look forward to it). "Um, Aeri, I _know_ we've discussed this before," he said with a smile, "But why are you sleeping here? You've got your own room; and besides, this _is_ only a twin mattress..." "Simple, silly... I'm comfortable here with you, and I don't feel like getting up. As for the size of the bed, I'm sure we'll figure something out," she said with her now-patented Sly Grin(tm). "Good point," he responded in kind. MONDAY, JANUARY 17 Philip woke up to the sound of the alarm. Sure, it wasn't a school day, but he needed to get into the habit fast, since it was starting tomorrow. Strangely enough, Aerianne was still asleep. In a curious case of deja-vu, she was clutching Little Pooh close to her. Philip just shook his head and sighed contentedly. Life was _very_ good, and he had a feeling that this semester would be even better. He smiled at the thought of it. He stretched back his arms and yawned, being careful not to hit Aerianne. He lay there for several more minutes, just watching Aerianne sleep and enjoying her closeness. Eventually, Aerianne began to stir. "Morning. How's life?" he smiled as she woke. "How many times do I have to keep telling you, you're _not_ Vaughn?" Aerianne said with a yawn. "Thank the gods for that," he grinned. "Although I do admit it would be fun to be able to walk in space without a suit." "You know what I mean." "Sorry," he apologized. "No problem." She sat up and stretched. "So, what's on tap for today?" "Actually, not much. Just finish setting up my folders, check in with MARS, get breakfast, and relax... Oh yeah, and Rahel should be coming in sometime today." "He's your roommate, right?" Philip nodded. "I wonder what he'd think about..." "About what?" Aeri asked innocently. Philip whopped her with a pillow. "You know what I mean." Aerianne giggled at Philip's serious expression. Philip and Aerianne stayed in his room until about seven that night, when Rahel, Philip's roommate, finally got back from his break. He entered the room, laden with his belongings, looked at the two playing on Philip's bed, and blinked. After about five seconds, he cleared his throat. Philip looked up in surprise. "Oh, hi, Rahel!" "So... How was your break?" he asked, looking at Philip, then at Aerianne, then at Philip again. "Oh, ok..." Philip wiggled his hand in a so-so gesture, although his eyes said otherwise. "I hear you had snow..." "Yeah, we did, but we managed to keep warm." "Riiight," said Rahel with a 'I'll take you at your word, but I really don't want to know' look. Philip spent the rest of Monday evening in Aeri's suite. For some strange reason, Rahel was uncomfortable with Aerianne around (gee, I wonder why?). So, he ended up watching Tekwar with Aeri and company in the suite's living room. But eventually it ended, and Philip got up to go across the hall. "You could stay here, you know," Aerianne said as he was getting up. "As much as I'd _love_ to, I can't. My alarm's over there, and besides," he said, looking over to where Aeri's three raptor roommates were fighting over the remote, "I don't think I could sleep knowing that those three were around." "That wouldn't be a problem... You'd be in _my_ room..." "That'd be fine, except for the little fact that I have _classes_ tomorrow," he said with a smile and a wiggling index finger. "Picky, picky," she said with a smile as she hugged him. "Well, goodnight, Aeri," he said at the door as he was about to leave. "Break a limb, tear a claw, die well." "Goodnight, Philip... You too." They kissed, and went to their respective suites for the night. TUESDAY, JANUARY 18 *RIIIIIIIING* *RIIIIIIIING* Philip woke up and picked up the phone. "Hello?" he yawned. "Philip?" his mother's voice replied. "Mommy? What are you doing up?" "Philip, Channel Five announced that College park was closed for today due to the snow." "They did? Thanks, Mommy," he said with a yawn. He hung up the phone, and returned to bed. But unfortunately, Philip was not one to trust just one person's report on school closings, so he turned on his tv at the lowest volume possible, and watched until Channel Five repeated the closings. Yes, the University of Maryland was closed due to snow and ice! "Well, no _wonder_," he muttered to himself sarcastically. "It rained _last_ night after the freezing rain fell, so what did they expect with temps below 32? Oh well, at least I won't have to lug all this stuff around," he said as he unloaded his backpack of his school books. However, now that he was awake, it was sort of pointless to go back to bed. Philip made his way over to Aerianne's suite, and let himself in. Her velociraptor suitemates were still asleep; he could hear the snores coming from the first double room in the hall. Aeri's door was ajar, and he eased himself into her room. She was still asleep, apparently not aware of the weather announcement. Smiling softly, he eased himself into the bed next to her. Once Aerianne awoke (with a surprised look from her and a grin from him), they sat in bed for a while just talking about life. But, eventually they realized that although staying in bed was a _very_ attractive option, it was also a very _impractical_ option. For one, it's sort of hard to get breakfast when you're stuck in bed. It's also hard to get dressed (though not impossible). However, once those tasks were taken care of, they decided to go to the computer lab in the hopes of it being open. But there was one problem. It was cold. _Really_ cold. Twenty degrees fahrenheit cold. To combat this Arctic weather, Philip was wearing his polar assault suit. He didn't even want to _think_ about what Trevor was going through in Pittsburgh. According to the weather, it was supposed to be below zero up there. Philip shivered despite himself. "Jeeze, Philip, you could fit two of you in there!" Aerianne commented as they prepared to leave the dorm. Indeed, his voluminous winter coat _was_ large, and he had to tie the waist tight when he put it on. "Yeah," he said with a chuckle, "but it keeps me _very_ warm." "Well," she said, sidling up to him, "_I_ could get in there with you... you'd be warm then," she smiled. "But we'd have trouble walking," he mock-protested, smiling in return. "Oh, you." She kissed his nose, which was the only thing she _could_ kiss. The rest of him was covered solid by coat, boots, scarf, gloves, jeans, shirt, hat, and sweater. Having finally bundled up, Philip and Aeri went outside. "Glaaah! Brightlight! Brightlight!" he exclaimed as he covered his eyes. The glare was impressive, and he reached inside his coat pocket for his clip-ons. Aerianne pulled out a nice pair of sunglasses from her trenchcoat pocket, and they walked to the PG2 computer lab. Well, considering all the snow, ice, and related precipitation on the ground, it would probably have been easier to ice skate to the lab. Easier, that is, if Philip had known how to ice skate, and if Aerianne had had any idea what ice skating was. "Will wonders never cease?" Philip proclaimed as he opened the PG2 doors. "It's open!" They looked around at the open, and empty, computer lab. "A gweep's dream come true! An empty lab, powerful computers, and the woman he loves at his side," he smiled. Aerianne softly elbowed him. "Ok, ok! 'and the man _she_ loves at _her_ side!" he chuckled. "That's better," she said with a sarcastic smile. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19 Philip relaxed in the Hoff theater, watching Jurassic Park with Aerianne. The administration, in their infinite wisdom, had closed school for the rest of the week, and the manager of the Hoff, in order to keep from having a mob of bored college students, had decided to give two free showings of the movie. During one of the (few) slow parts of the movie, Philip got up to relieve himself. When he got back to the theater, he was rather surprised (no, shocked) to find three velociraptors sitting in the aisle. Charles, Emerson, and Winchester (aka Charley, Emmy, and Winnie) turned their reptilian heads around and regarded their roommate's boyfriend. As this was not out of the ordinary (for them, at least), they returned their attentions to the screen. "Yay! Squish them good!" said Emmy as the T. Rex. approached the tour car on the movie screen. "Emmy, will you _stop_ rooting for the dinosaurs?" Philip insisted. "Yeah, and what if we don't?" retorted Winnie. "I'm going to... go back to my seat and pretend that you three aren't even here," Philip said sheepishly. "That's a good mammal," said Charley, patting Philip on the shoulder. "Where's Rahel?" Aerianne asked as they got back to his dorm room. "I guess he went home since school was cancelled." "So," she said, nuzzling up against Philip, "what are we going to do for the next two days?" Philip tried to give her a scolding look, but just couldn't bear to pass up this opportunity. "We'll think of something..." Wheel of morality, turn turn turn... [Due to the imposition of Senator Jesse Helms, in order to keep indecency out of this and all resulting stories, Thursday, January 20, and the events therein, have been censored. Use your imaginations, folks. -Ed.] FRIDAY, JANUARY 21 It was Friday, and, quite frankly, Philip Jeremy Moyer was bored. Modern science does not yet understand how this is possible. But anyway, he was, so he decided to do some doodling in his sketchbook. "Hey," Aeri said, looking at the finished drawing. "This is me!" "Well," he said, blushing, "It's not _quite_ you... I got the chin wrong, and some of the proportions aren't correct. I was mostly drawing from memory..." "Well, it's not _bad_. I mean, I can tell that it's me. I like it. I know," she said as she moved over to the doorway, "I'll pose for you!" She leaned against the doorway, arms crossed against her chest. "Wearing that?" he asked, not in reference to her state of dress (which actually was quite decent), but to the katana that hung at her side. Aerianne got a sly look on her face as she started to disrobe. "Well, if you want, I don't have to wear --" "NO! THAT'S ALRIGHT! REALLY!" Philip said in a state of near- panic. Aerianne glanced down to her waist as she restored her shirt to its regularly-scheduled position. "Oh, the *sword*..." 32) --- Buildup ------------------------------------------------------- "Stressed? I'm not stressed... I'm just a _complete_ and _utter_, _blithering_ *NERVOUS WRECK*!!!" -- Horse MONDAY, JANUARY 31 *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!* *beep beep beep beep! beep beep beep beep!* *Beep Beep! Beep Beep!* Philip Moyer awoke slowly as the three alarms rang. He looked at the digital clock on the file cabinet next to his bed. "Seven o'clock," he muttered to himself as he got out of bed to turn off the alarms. Once that was done, he was awake, and seeing that he had nothing better to do, he got changed and ready for class. He put on his coat and his headphones, shouldered his backpack, and left the dorm for breakfast. <<>> His first class of the day was Math 241, aka Calc III. "What a way to start the week... A Monday with a two-hour math class..." After the class finished, Philip got up and proceeded for the outside, intent on going to the PG2 lab. However, as he was walking down the hall, he glanced at the Engineering Taco Bell. "Well, why not?" he asked himself as he walked over. It was 11, and the line was short, so Philip got in line and bought lunch. 6 tacos and a coke. Not the most nutritious of lunches, but humans had to eat, and besides, Philip _liked_ Taco Bell tacos. He made his way to a table and began to eat. "Aeri!" Philip noticed her enter, and waved her over. "What are you doing here?" "Eating lunch, same as you. Got a problem with that?" "None at all, none at all," he said with a wan smile. He sighed as Aerianne sat down. "'Why so pale and wan fond lover; prithee why so pale?'" she asked as he sighed again. "You've been listening to PDQ again, I see." She nodded, and Philip sighed once more. "Stress." "Hmm?" she asked as she sipped her Coke. "Well, I've got to go to a SUEP meeting, I've got to make a resume for SUEP, I've gotta start writing a program for 420 (for whatever the hell a MX-CIF quadtree is), gotta do the _written_ assignment for 420, finish reading _The Orestia_ for a quiz tomorrow, do my math homework, study for a math quiz, check my theatre citations, get resume paper, buy valentines, and I think my walkman is dying," he finished in one breath. "Glaah?" "_Exactly_." Philip's shoulders slumped. "I have a bad feeling about this week in general." "Well, I know something that should cheer you up," she said. "What?" he asked, curious. "Well," she moved over to his side of the table, "Rufus has been asking where you've been; he's got some things he's anxious to show you." "I'd love to, Aeri; but, like I said, I've got all this other stuff to do... I'm not sure if I can find the time..." "You could come after that meeting of yours... when does it end?" "Four." "There you go!" she exclaimed, hugging him. Philip was startled for a moment, and then hugged her back. After the SUEP meeting, Philip met Aerianne, and they walked over to the lab. As they entered, Philip was surprised to see how much of it that Rufus had taken over. At least half of the lab space had been taken over by the equipment "borrowed" from FOWL, as well as a mini- garage and a testing area. Philip spotted Gordo working on some sort of servomotor, and Rufus was hunched over, looking under the hood of the Citation. Gordo noticed them enter, and got up. "Good day, Philip! Welcome back to the 'salt mines'!" "Oh, hi Gordo," Philip said halfheartedly. "What seems to be the problem, scholar?" Gordo said, coming over. "Life." "Philip's been stressed lately," Aerianne said as an explanation. "Well, in cases such as these, one must always think of the alternative," Gordo said to Philip as he clapped a strong hand on his shoulder. "Heh, good point," Philip replied with a half smile as he straightened his glasses. "But you don't have to worry about me going _that_ far... just look at who I have to live for," he said, grinning and looking at Aerianne. "Why, thank you!" Aeri smiled as well, and curtsied. "Heh," was all that Gordo had to say. "Well, as you can see, Rufus and I have not been quiescent during your absence." "Oh, how so?" Philip and Aerianne said simultaneously by accident, prompting a surprised look from both of them, which soon broke out into giggling. "Ah... Well, we continued to work on the Cyclones... Horse had a few suggestions, as well as the 'Sisters Velociraptor'," he said as they walked over to the central work area, "and Rufus continues to try to make a viable fusion reactor..." "Good luck," Philip said with a sarcastic smile. "Hey, Philip!" Rufus looked up from where he was working. "What in the name of the egg happened to the Citation? It looks like it was in a battle!" "It was," Philip said with a shrug as he came over. "Trust me, it was _not_ fun..." Philip cut himself off as he noticed Rufus's glasses for the first time. "What is it?" asked Rufus, perplexed. "Well... Since when did your glasses _glow_?" he asked, pointing to Rufus's round wire-frame glasses. He could see several glowing lines and what looked like text on the lenses. There were also several attachments to the frames themselves, and a small cable that plugged into... his head? "Jeezus, you _cybered_ yourself?!" Aerianne exclaimed, mirroring Philip's reaction. "Well, I was experimenting with the cyberware systems that we had recovered from the FOWL outpost, and I decided that this was the best way to go." "But..But.. how did you get that interface jack installed?" Philip asked. "I simply asked the Raptor Sisters if they had any previous experience... it turns out that Charley had watched the gleepians while they were installing the 'ware in their lesser cousins. And it wasn't much of a surgical procedure itself, she just implanted the jack and the neural wires "grew" to interface with my brain..." Rufus was about to go into a blow-by-blow of how his cyberware had been installed when Philip cut him off. "Rufus? I was wondering... could you do that with plastic frames?" "I don't see why not... It might even give me some extra space to mount some new sensors I'm developing..." "Cool! I'll bring my spare pair over when I can get the chance. But," he said, pointing to Rufus's glasses, "I hope that you can make a set that _doesn't_ require hardwiring your head." "That shouldn't be a problem. I'll just use some of the neural sensors that we used for the Cyclones." Philip released the breath he was holding. "Now, what was that you were saying about a battle?..." "We need something that's strong and tough, and large enough to hold many weapons," said Aerianne after Philip had finished recounting his winter adventures. Well, the ones that were fit for general knowledge, anyway. "It would seem that a UPS truck would fulfill your needs perfectly," stated Gordo as a suggestion. "Nah, it's already been done -- I have a better idea..." Philip said with a smile. In FOWL HQ, Ray was overseeing the first phase of his world conquest plan. The initial computer taps into the UMD computer system had gone unnoticed, and through them, he had started embezzling, redirecting supplies, and building up his industrial base, all disguised as campus purchase orders and the like. The campus didn't even _care_ that last week, a shipment of plasma rifles had been delivered as "creative persuasion enhancers" for a Psychology class, even though the instructor in question hadn't even placed the order or received the shipment. And as for the "inevitable" inquiries into the changed campus policies by the Student, Campus, and City governments? Well, Ray had taken care of that too. In the previous city council and student council elections, a puppet candidate controlled by Ray had been placed on the ballot. And due to the general apathy of the voters involved, their placement into positions of relative power had been assured. As far as his buildup was concerned, everything had been going as planned. Except for two things. The first was a little problem with personnel. Due to an accident in the officer's lounge, his 'ace in the hole', Fred, was no longer available for his needs. Namely because he was dead. Ray immediately afterwards ordered that all transmissions of the sitcom "Roseanne" to his base blocked, to ensure that such an accident didn't happen again. But the loss of one of his powerhouses was unfortunate. Even now, Ray's agents were searching around the globe for a suitable replacement. But this could be dealt with. The second problem was -much- more serious. The disruption of his attempts to destabilize the campus, and the appearance of a group that was apparently the _cause_ of the disruptions, troubled Ray. Although they didn't appear to have any true organization, the potential was there. They didn't know who their enemy _was_, but if the current trend continued, they would soon form up to a true fighting force, and defeat his minions. Ray mused to himself. He smiled to himself, and allowed himself a small draw on his cigarette. "Mr. Ray?" asked a voice. Ray turned from the large monitor in his office to look at Korzon. "Yes, Korzon? What is it?" Ray said smoothly. "Do we have any more information on our little... problem?" Ray asked of Korzon, who sweated. The failure of his biotechs to protect their labs has not looked favorably on Korzon; he was little more than a gopher for Ray now, the rest of his gleepian scientists and troopers placed under other commanders. The biotechs who had fled were now janitors, 5th class, and Korzon knew if he wasn't careful, he would join them. "Ummm.. no sir. All the Felizian ships were destroyed, and there's no trace of their recording devices. As for the location of the 'problem', we've been able to narrow down the source to somewhere within the Greater DC Metropolitan area." "That is over 500 square kilometers, is it not?" "Yes, sir." Korzon nodded cautiously. "Very well. Dispatch spies to cover the major bases and airfields, as well as the schools. If any anomalies are detected, have them report to me immediately." "The schools, sir?" Korzon asked, confused. "Do I need to repeat myself, Korzon?" replied Ray with the smile of a shark about to feed. "Uh... No, sir." "Good..." Ray turned in his chair to face the monitor again, which Korzon took as his cue to leave. "Oh, one more thing, Korzon..." Korzon froze in his steps (or he would have, if he had feet). "Yes, Sir?" "Have you arranged our little surprise for the university's systems?" "Sir, it has been done." Ray smiled. "Excellent...." In the basement of the CSS building, computers hummed. Status lights blinked, tapes spun, and disks stored the megabytes of data that the students used. One particular computer began to hum erratically, and soon the other computers began to hum as well, filling the room with a cacophony of disk drives spinning. And then it was silent. Philip left South Campus Dining Hall hand-in-hand with Aerianne, the two of them heading towards Worcester Lab. Supper had been interesting (Philip usually ate pizza, but Aeri had 'convinced' him to expand his eating horizons), and they were now going to the lab to check their mail and news. Philip was happier than he had been earlier that day, probably due to a combination of factors. One, Rufus was coming up with some new cool techie-stuff. Two, Aerianne was there with him. All in all, perhaps he had been panicking a bit much. He probably _would_ get all his homework done. And anyway, if he didn't, Aeri would be sure to twist his arm to keep him from procrastinating... Aerianne looked at Philip as he laughed, putting his hand behind his head. "What is it?" she asked with a curious smile. "Oh, nothing," he said as he returned his arm to his side, and then on impulse, grabbed Aerianne in a hug. "_Nothing_, eh?" she said with a smile in her voice. "You'd better start explaining these in-jokes to me, or else I'll have to force them out of you..." "You wouldn't dare!" he laughed. Aerianne just continued to smile. "You wouldn't..." he said, his bravado starting to fade. Aerianne just winked as they entered the lab. Philip and Aerianne made their way towards the NeXTstations, and took stations across from each other in one of the little aisles. Peculiarly, there was no-one at the NeXTstations, but there were plenty of people at the Macs and IBMS. Philip shrugged, and sat down. Philip typed his name and password, and the looked over at Aeri's station. The Workspace Manager had already started up on her machine, and she was pulling up NewsGrazer to check Rec.Arts.Anime. Smiling, Philip turned back to his machine. Strangely enough, his account hadn't appeared yet. It was annoying, but not unheard of; in a few seconds to minutes, the system would finally realize that someone was trying to log on, and route the appropriate data to the station. Philip thought as the File Manager appeared. And then he blinked. There was nothing there. No files, no data, no folders, no nothing. Just a small house icon with his name under it, and the NeXT icon next to it. The application dock to the side was full, but that didn't help him. "What the..." He checked his account again. And again. A sick feeling came across his stomach. "K'HEST!" he exclaimed, hitting the side of the computer stall. Several other users glared at him. "What is it?" asked Aerianne, moving over to his NeXTstation. "Some K'hesting idiot wiped my account!" he replied vehemently. "_What_?" She leaned over him to look at the file viewer. Indeed, there was no trace of any files in his directory- just an open House icon that represented his home directory. "Have you checked pmoyer.backup?" "Good idea." He clicked on the aforementioned directory. "Shit!" he spat out in a rare burst of profanity. "The frigging idiot even got the backup dir!" "Calm down, Philip; calm down. It's not the end of the world as we know it-- look!" she said, clicking on the preferences icon and shifting to Expert mode. "You've still got your dot-files; you still have access." "Yeah, bloody good _that_ does me, without any files." "Well, think about it this way: It could have been worse." She smiled at Philip, who didn't look convinced. "And _how_, pray tell, can you be sure of that?" "You could have lost _me_," she shrugged. "Yeah, but _only_ if you were an accidental product of a hyper- advanced computer system with the ability to create inanimate objects on purpose and living objects by accident. Seeing as you haven't 'derezzed' in the past couple of days, I can sort of discount that theory," Philip replied with a sarcastic smile. "At least I hadn't started any of those new projects, or I'd really be up a creek." "Good point... Also, you've got disk backups, right?" "Yeah... but they're for all my older stuff... khest," he muttered again, "my story was backed up four days ago- I've made changes." "You've got printouts." "Ah, once again, you show me the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can see that it's not a train. Thanks, Aeri... I owe you one." He gave her a hug, which she returned (with interest). "Even so, I've _still_ got a bad feeling about this..." Peter Gordon was working a late shift in PG2's first aider station when he looked up from his NeXTstation, which had just shut down inexplicably. There was a line of people outside the dutch door. A _long_ line. The fact that the first-aider phone was ringing off the hook didn't help. 33) --- Valentines ---------------------------------------------------- "Your mood and your robe/Are both a deep blue, You'd bet that Job/Had nothing on you, But don't forget that when you get to heaven you'll be blessed Yes, it's all for the best!" -- Jesus of Nazareth, "It's all for the best", GODSPELL <<>> Indeed, that week was one of the most interesting ones he had had all semester. And considering that it was still early in the semester, it didn't bode well for the rest of the marking period. What made it interesting was the fact that it was a study in contrasts. A new OR story had come out. That was good. However, the time he spent reading the story took up the time that he could have used for homework. Therefore he was up all night finishing written homework for 420. Fortunately, there was a TAS meeting that weekend, so he had something to look forward to. However, this little plus was nullified by the fact that the CSC had started charging for printing. 10 cents per page. Philip couldn't see how it would cut down on multiple copies and printer usage, since the campus copiers were _twelve_ cents a page, but he knuckled down and got a Terrapin Express account to hold the money. The next week was much a repeat of the previous, but with "minor" variations. For one, a new UF:FI story came out, which was nice. But this little good thing was nullified by the little matter of the weather. It snowed. Twice in one week. The wednesday math class was cancelled due to the snow, as well as his honors class. Although he had had a written review due in the honors class (which was now postponed to next week, which was good), this also meant that his math class was becoming even _further_ behind than last week. And considering that a math exam was scheduled for friday, that would make it even harder to study, because Philip had been so hoping that he could ask some questions to the teacher. Fortunately, it snowed on Friday. But unfortunately, that meant that the libraries were closed as well, making it impossible to do research for Theatre 111 that he had put off. And getting behind on the research projects for Theatre history was something that Philip _desperately_ wanted to avoid. Fortunately, Sharon had been sick on Thursday, so that maybe the project would be delayed. But it still meant that Philip had to deal with stress that he didn't want to deal with. And to top it all off, the Erasable Inc. workshop that had been scheduled for that weekend had been cancelled as well. Fortunately, it was postponed to the next week, but that still didn't make him feel any better. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16 Philip sat in his dorm room, reading _Everyman_ and trying to figure out what he'd do for the rest of the week. He still had the Quadtree program to write, and readings for Honors, plus his still- unfinished math homework. Oh yeah, and a written assignment for his other compsci class. Philip muttered as he turned a page in his play book. he consoled himself. He reviewed his calendar. Yes, it was. But Aeri _hadn't_ asked him what it meant... "Oh great," he muttered out loud. "_Not only_ do I forget that I have a girlfriend and owe her something for Valentine's day; but I've got all this frigging work to do, so I _can't_ do anything! "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Philip began to apply his head to his desk. Aerianne sat in her dorm room, humming to herself as she wrapped the gift she had purchased for Philip. "He's going to be so _surprised_!" she exclaimed to herself, which got an interesting glance from Winnie as she passed Aeri's single. However, Aerianne ignored the glance, and finished wrapping the package, topping it off with a red ribbon the color of her hair. She picked up the box and got up, and whistled to herself as she approached Philip's door. she smiled to herself as she knocked on his door. POUND POUND POUND Knock, Knock POUND POUND Knock, Knock POU-- ? Philip's head stopped in mid-POUND when his brain finally realized that someone was knocking on his suite's door. Wondering who it could be, he got up, rearranged his bandanna to hide his bruise, and went to open the door. "Happy Valentine's Day, Philip!" Aerianne exclaimed with a broad smile as she handed the gift to him. "UhErAh... Thank you!" Philip managed to stutter out. It was the only thing he _could_ say. An awkward silence of several seconds ensued as Philip's mind, once again pressed to perform beyond mortal limits, tried to figure out what to do next. Aeri looked back at him with a smile on her face, apparently totally oblivious as to why he was so apprehensive. Philip's mind reported. "Wow, thank you, Aerianne!" Philip said, beads of sweat trickling down his face. "Just hold on a second, and I'll get you your gift...." And before Aerianne could react, he had closed the door. A little bit harder than necessary, to be sure, but he was currently panicking, so it was understandable. Aerianne blinked as Philip's door suddenly slammed in her face. she asked herself. This was odd, even for Philip. Usually Philip left the door open when he was talking with someone or getting something for them, and he _certainly_ wouldn't go so far as to slam the door in their face. Curious, she tried the doorknob. Locked. Undaunted, she tried knocking once again. "Philip, what's going on?" she asked through the door. She could hear various things being turned about. "Oh, nothingnothingnothingatall!" "?" Philip continued to perspire as he searched his room for something, _anything_ that he could use as a gift for Aerianne. However, most of the things in his room Aerianne _knew_ were his, so they were out of the question. Then his eyes caught on the new walkman. he asked himself for a second. he answered himself. Having made that decision, he then looked for something to put it in. He found a box that he had been given earlier, put the walkman and instructions, etc., inside, and then taped the box shut. "Not pretty, but it'll have to do," he said to himself as he approached the door. Aerianne looked up as Philip opened the door. He looked even more dishevelled than he usually did, and he held a plain brown box in his hands. "Uh... here," he said as he handed the box to her. "Happy Valentine's day," he stuttered out as she took it. Aerianne took the box in both hands and unwrapped it (not hard to do, mind you), and looked at the walkman inside. "Cool!" she said as she clipped the walkman to her belt and put on the headphones. "I've never had one of these before! It's even got bass boost! Thanks, Philip!" she exclaimed, embracing him suddenly in a "tackle hug". "Yrmwelcomph!" he managed to get out as she continued to hug him. "Oh!" Aeri said as she remembered something, and broke off the hug. "Aren't you gonna open _your_ gift?" she asked the still slightly overwhelmed Philip. "Huh?... Oh, yeah, sure!" he said, remembering. "Berightback." He went back to his room, and brought out the box that she had given him. "I hope you like it," Aeri said as she hovered over him as he fumbled off the wrappings on the box. "I had a heck of a time trying to decide what you'd want, and then you were complaining about how your--" Aerianne's words went unheard as Philip finished opening the gift and stared. Inside the box, nestled on a nice pad of pink tissue paper, was a walkman. The exact same model that he had "given" Aerianne. Unbidden, tears came to his eyes, and he appeared to be ready to cry outright. "Philip?" Aeri asked. "What is it? What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong," Philip said, his apparent sobs turning into laughter. "Everything's just PERFECT!" he exclaimed with a smile as he grabbed Aerianne in a ferocious embrace and kissed her. "Gee, glad you feel that way!" Aeri attempted to say between kisses, before Philip gave her a kiss that made all the others pale in comparison. "Oh, and Philip?" Aerianne smiled as their lips finally parted (for air, if nothing else). "Hmmm?" Philip replied, stealing yet another kiss from Aerianne. "Just so you knowmmmm..." Aerianne said as she stole the kiss back. "Mmmyes?" Philip attempted to reply. Aerianne's eyes gleamed as she said, "You'd better not forget Valentine's Day _next_ year..." 34) --- Upgrade Path -------------------------------------------------- "More Power! Arr Arr Arr!" -- Tim Allen SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26 After Valentine's Day, the weeks continued to pass in a blur. Actually, not like a blur, but more like a cyclic stress headache. Even so, Philip somehow managed to stay on top of his homework, and Aerianne was a great help in getting him to de-stress more often. Also they _did_ manage to spend time together, even with their hectic schedules. Rahel went home each weekend, leaving Philip alone in their dorm room; Aerianne would come over and spend the night with him. (To watch _Highlander_, OK?!?) [Yeah, right. -Trevor] There were also other things to occupy their time; the Midnight Movie, for one. One of the films was 'The Princess Bride', and they went to see it. Aerianne liked the swordwork (of course), and they both enjoyed the "kissing stuff" (for obvious reasons). Even a fire drill in the middle of the show couldn't damage their enthusiasm (Although Aerianne _was_ threatening to skewer whoever it was who had pulled the alarm). Unfortunately, the PGFD, in their _infinite_ wisdom, decided to close the show for the night; but fortunately, one of Aerianne's friends from the fencing club was there, and he and his girlfriend invited them over to see his copy. TAS was another thing that alleviated the tension and stress (Well, ok; maybe not _alleviated_, more like just put it off). They showed Tenchi Muyo and This Is Greenwood, and they both got a very favorable response. Philip, for one, decided then and there that he'd never complain about his dormmates again. They had _nothing_ on the guys from Greenwood! Aerianne took a liking to Ryouko as well (it was the energy swordwork that sold her on the irrepressible demon). Finally, though, Philip could put it off no longer, and he got to work with a vengeance on his 420 project, while working on his Thet 111 project as well. Eventually, Philip's workload lightened enough that he was able to go home for the weekend to visit Blair. He invited Aerianne along, but she said that _she_ had a computer project for 330, and Philip wasn't about to cut into her computer time. He went home, stopping at Blair first, and then relaxed for about a day. He came back on Saturday afternoon, and went over to Aeri's suite. He found a note posted on the door. Dear Philip, I finally got that program done, and I've gone to Rufus' to try something out that he's invented. Come on over- I know you'll like it! ^_- Love Always, Aerianne Philip, raising an eyebrow, turned to get his stuff. Ten minutes later, Philip entered Rufus's lab. A vehicle lay in the center of it, partially disassembled. Philip had been _extremely_ lucky when he had asked his dad if he could borrow it; he had had a good day at work, and the weather outlook was finally turning favorable, so he let him borrow it for a while. Mind you, of course, Philip hadn't said for _how_ long he would be borrowing it; or _what_, exactly, he would be doing with it. He doubted that the DMV would approve of this, if they knew; but they didn't, so that was ok. "Hey, Aeri!" he called out. "You should've come to Blair! Magnet Arts Night was neat and..." he trailed off as he realized that she wasn't there, only Rufus and Gordo standing by the vehicle with puzzled expressions. "Hey, where's Aeri?" he asked. "Oh, she's out testing some power armor components for us," Gordo replied, adjusting something in the engine. "You're making power armor _now_? I thought the Cyclones were enough." "Well, they still aren't flight capable, due to the lack of a viable fusion powerplant. Besides, Gordo and I wanted to try some other ideas," answered Rufus as he came over and picked up something. "Ah." "By the way, your glasses are done," he said as he handed the brown plastic frames to him. "Cool!" He looked at them, then looked at Rufus. "You didn't do anything." "Yes I did. Put them on." He did so, while Rufus booted up his computer, and pulled a small cable towards them. "Hold on a second while I connect -- there!" Philip's world all of a sudden flashed in a fantastic range of colors ranging from dark blue to bright white, and he gasped involuntarily. As soon as it had started, it ended; and all that was left were the words [GLASSES MKII] in the upper left, and [STANDBY] in the lower left corner, glowing faintly. "What the hell was that?" "Test pattern. It did a quick neural sweep. Here, hold this; we need to do a targeting calibration next." Philip took what looked like a small pistol with a laser sight and held it in his right hand. The pistol had a cable connected to the computer as well. "Aim for the targets," Rufus said, activating a targeting sequence on a projector screen nearby. Philip did so, using the laser sight to aim. As Philip fired "shot" after "shot", he noticed that after a while, it became easier to do so. Also, a curious targeting reticule had appeared in his glasses; and before long, he began to use that more than the laser sight. Eventually, he stopped. "So, what was all that for?" he asked as he handed the gun back to Rufus. "Aim calibration. The glasses now will be able to read your motor impulses to determine where you're aiming." He unplugged the glasses and the gun from the computer, and handed the gun back. "Try it now." Philip tried the targeting sequence again, this time only using the crosshairs in his glasses, which followed his eye movements to find targets, while another followed his hand movements to indicate his aim. He finished the sequence, and looked at the kill ratio. 75 percent. "Cool" was all he had to say. "Glad you like them," Rufus said with a smile. "I added some other things as well, but you can worry about them later. Here, I'll show you how to tie them into the Citation." The two moved over to the red-brown car, whereupon Rufus gave Philip a run-through of how to connect and how to interpret the new displays. Philip thanked him as he powered up the Citation, and went off in search of Aerianne. Once Philip was airborne, he found that the HUD in his glasses was easy to get used to; and before long, he was cruising around over UM in search of Aeri. Curiously, she was nowhere to be found. Philip was about to pack it in, assuming she had already gone back, when his radar began to ping. Immediately, his HUD brought up a radar display while also giving vehicle status and direction indicators. He looked around --nothin-- Something _was_ coming, from alongside, and he turned. He blinked as a vision in dark purple, red, and pink pulled up next to him and waived. He slowed to a halt, and the person next to him did so as well. He entered a frequency, activating the radio. "Aeri, what the heck are you doing up here in _that_?" "What, you don't like it?" she replied over the net, mock- accusingly. "No, I like it a _lot_, it's just that... aren't you worried that people will see?" "So, who cares? We're a thousand feet up, anyway." She laughed, and pirouetted in place, giving Philip a good view of what _little_ armor she was wearing. The main body armor, quite frankly, didn't leave much to the imagination, looking more appropriate for the beach than a battlefield. It sported twin winglets that extended from behind her shoulderblades; Philip assumed there was a flightpack there as well, but he couldn't see it due to her freeflowing red hair. She wore twin forearm gauntlets which had weapon housings (presumably empty), as well as knee-length high-heeled boots, which he assumed were armored as well as doubling as maneuvering thrusters. A purple-tinted facebowl helmet completed the ensemble. Philip could tell she was enjoying this enormously, grinning like a maniac. "You're _reeeely_ enjoying this, aren't you?" he asked bemusedly. Aerianne nodded and smiled, then did a mid-air flip that landed her on the hood of the Citation. "You better _believe_ it, buster!" she said as she leaned forward and winked at Philip through the windshield. "You know..." "Hmmm?" "We really ought to be getting back... I've got--" "Homework to do," they chorused. "Oh, all right, Philip," she said as she hopped off the hood. "Race you back?" "Sure!" Philip revved the engine as Aerianne turned towards UM. "ready, _set_, *GO*!" For the first part of the race, it looked like Aerianne was going to win the race, but Philip's superior thrust caught him up soon. It then became a contest of Philip's velocity versus Aerianne's agility. Aerianne flew through the window of Rufus's lab just as Philip landed the Citation through the ceiling gate. "Hey," she beamed, "We tied!" Philip had a hey-you-cheated look on his face as he said "Well, you had an unfair advantage!" "Like what?" "Like the fact that you took a shortcut! RIGHT THROUGH THE MATH BUILDING!" Aerianne had one of her Innocent Looks (tm) on her face. Philip couldn't keep a smile off his face. Philip looked at Rufus' original flightpack prototype. It looked like the base of an art-deco lamp. He shook his head, and changed topics. "Well, if you all are working on power armors, can you build something for me?" "Sure! What is it?" "Well," he said, pulling out his sketchbook from his backpack, "if you could build this, I'd be very happy..." Rufus looked at the picture, and the description alongside it. He got a gleam in his eye. "Yeah," he said with a mischevious smile, "I think I can build this." This was the first "mischevious smile" anyone had ever seen from Rufus; it was a truly frightening concept. "When do you want it?" "Just be sure you get it right." Philip held Rufus's latest design for an ion drive in his hands. There was still something wrong with the design that Rufus couldn't quite fix. "Any smaller," Rufus was explaining, "and the thrust-to-weight ratio becomes fractional and the power source becomes a major problem. It'd need to be stored in flat capacitors or the like-- it wouldn't be able to have an onboard generator." "But you _can_ get them smaller?" "Yeah, but why?" "Oh, I'll think of a good reason," Philip smiled. Rufus's facial expression suddenly changed, as if he had just remembered something, and he started rummaging through his various pockets. "Also, I finished something else that you might find interesting... I was working on a prototype repeating nanomachine, and I finally finished it." He handed it to Philip, who took it. "a LEGO?" he asked as he looked over the golden 2x4 block. [When the word LEGO is used, it is _not_ being yelled. That's just how it's spelled. -Ed.] "Well, it's more of the housing for them. Unfortunately, I don't have enough LEGO's on hand to make more, or to do a field test, so I'm just giving it to you." "Which leave just one question: 'Why?'" "Well, Aerianne said that you liked LEGOs." "Ah..." Philip turned to look at Aerianne, who shrugged. "So, how do you make it work?" "You just press the knobs on top, and it does the rest." "Well," Philip looked at his watch, "I'd love to try it, but I have a meeting with Sharon about my Everyman project. Gotta run; see you guys later!" The next day, it was back to the same old grind. Everything needed to be done _now_, and of course there were only so many hours in a day. However, this time was different. Not because of the assignments, which were as hard or harder than before; and not because of their due dates (which were all on the same day); but because in two weeks, it would be Spring Break. 35) --- Road Trip ----------------------------------------------------- "...It's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses" "Hit it." -- Jake Elwood (and I forget the other) THURSDAY, MARCH 10 Philip looked at the brown and tan vehicle that sat in the lab. If he got on his tiptoes, he could see over it clearly, and he noted with satisfaction that from where he was standing, he couldn't tell that this vehicle was unlike any other of it's class. Coming closer, he saw what looked like patched-over sections of bodywork, but he knew they were more than that. Philip kneeled to look under the frame to see what Rufus had done. He could see the first stage launch units, but three long objects with fins were underslung, blocking his view of the other side. "Um, Rufus?" "Yeah?" "Where did you get these?" he said, indicating the underslung objects in question. "Don't you know there are some things you just _don't_ ask around here?" Rufus replied with a smile. "Ah." He stood up again, and turned in time to see Aerianne enter. "Gweepings, Aerianne!" he said, bowing. She just whapped him with her baseball cap. "Who do you think you are, ReRob or something?" Philip grinned. "Don't answer that," she said with a trace of a smile. "Never, m'lady," he said, getting up and kissing her hand. "So, where are we going again?" asked Rufus, who was adjusting something in the back of the vehicle. "And why?" "Pennsylvania. I've got an uncle up there whom we can bunk with, and he'll be able to tell us where we can go where people _won't_ notice several people flying around in power armor." "Where else are we planning to go?" asked Aerianne. "Massachussets," he said with a smile. "Why there?" asked Rufus, as he continued to work. Aerianne just shook her head. she thought with a smile. "Don't worry about it," he brushed aside the question with a smile that held countless secrets. "I just want to do some visiting." "Ah." <_Actually_, speaking of visiting,> Philip thought to himself, This would be _fun_. "Rufus?" Philip inquired as the perpetually tinkering engineering major made the finishing touches on the... Ahem... 'Vehicle' that sat in the middle of the lab. "Hmm?" he asked as he turned away from it and wiped his hands. "Yes?" he continued as he put the towel down. "Do you think you could get on your computer and finger an account for me?" "Sure... what for?" he asked as he turned towards Ouroboros, his personal DECstation 5000/25, and logged on. "I need to get a phone number," Philip smiled. With a sigh of relief, Trevor walked through the open door of his dorm room and threw his bookbag onto his chair. It was March 10, a Thursday. Thursday was the day that he got out of class early, and he was glad to be done. Neel Vibhakar, his roommate, was (as usual) hard at work behind his desk. His desk light was on and his head was cradled in one of his hands. A frustrated sigh emanated from his otherwise-unmoving form. "Hard day, Neel?" Trevor asked. Neel turned around to face Trevor. His glasses were hanging halfway down his nose and he looked exhausted. "Homework. Oh, by the way, there was a very, um, interesting message on the machine for you." "Like...what?" "Well, he didn't identify himself, and the only message he left was 'We're coming. Be ready.'" Trevor thought for a minute, then rifled through the papers on his desk, emerging with the Post-It(tm) pad that read "Two large, ugly men were here to see you. They said something about 'kneecaps' and will call later." With a whimper of "Gee, and I thought Lindsay was just joking," Trevor apprehensively approached the answering machine and hit . The tape rewound and started playing. That voice. If Trevor lived for a thousand years, he would never forget that voice. Phil. And here he thought his life was going to get easier... FRIDAY, MARCH 11 Philip walked into Rufus's lab. His last class had ended just a little while ago, and he had come directly here, just brimming with anticipation. The attendant duffel bags of clothes sat next to The Vehicle, as well as the other accessories they would be taking along on this 'little expedition'. He waited for a little while, and Aerianne entered in her standard attire: sweater and jeans, trenchcoat nicely hiding her katana, all in various shades of blue to contrast against her purple earrings and her long red hair flowing freely down her back. She walked over to him and they kissed. Having done that, they talked about life, the universe, and general computer stress until Rufus showed up, who began to do a final check of the Vehicle. "She's ready to fly," Rufus said with a smile as he finished the check five minutes later. "Now all we have to do is get Gordo, and we can go," Philip stated. He looked at his watch. "Where _is_ he, anyway?" he thought out loud. "Oh, he's getting his armor ready for transport," Rufus said as he began to load the vehicle. "Oh yeah, you haven't seen _his_ armor yet, have you?" Aerianne asked with a smile. "Well, I saw him working on parts of it, but, no, I haven't seen the final product," Philip admitted. "Just you wait, Philip Moyer, just you wait," she said with a cockney accent reminiscent of Julie Andrews. Philip attempted to raise an eyebrow at this, and Aerianne laughed, whether from Philip's failed attempt to look like Spock or from his piqued interest he couldn't say. A low electric piston sound caught his attention, and he turned towards it. He stared as Gordo entered in his new armor. "You're. Wearing. That?" Philip asked, dumbfounded. "Yes," Gordo said with a smile. Philip couldn't see his eyes, but he was _sure_ that they were twinkling with glee. Philip shook his head. "Whatever. Let's get loaded and get out of here!" he said with a smile. <<>> For once in a long while, it was a sunny day at Carnegie Mellon. Trevor was walking between classes when he heard a roaring sound coming from... somewhere. For the life of him, he couldn't place it, but he knew he'd heard something like that before. A shadow hid him from the sun momentarily. Trevor looked up. A Suburban. A Chevy Suburban. A *flying* Chevy Suburban. he thought to himself. As he looked a little bit closer, he saw...no. Those couldn't be...Sidewinder missiles? Then again, he was dealing with Philip. Those could very well _be_ Sidewinder missiles. "Be afraid," he warned no one in particular. "Be *very* afraid." Students turned their heads in amazement at the Chevy Suburban that had just, um, parked in the middle of the Cut at CMU. Philip got out the driver's side door, wearing a jacket and jeans. In that totally unassuming voice, he beamed and said "Hi Trev!" "Philip," Trevor said with a nervous smile. "How...wonderful to see you again. I see you're still tinkering." "Well, actually, that's Rufus's job." "Right. You just fly the blasted things." "Well, actually --" Philip stopped and tossed the Suburban keys at Trevor, who caught them. "This time, that's *your* job." Trevor turned once again to his invisible companion. "As I said... be afraid. Be *very* afraid." Turning back to Philip, he asked, "Um, are you sure that's such a good idea. I mean, it's not like I have my pilot's license or anything." "Neither do I." "My point is therefore proven." Philip mumbled under his breath, then said "Just get in, would ya?" "Then where are you going to sit?" "Simple. Passenger seat." "Aeri's sitting there." Philip grinned ear to ear, and Trevor said to himself, "Gee, walked right into that one, didn't I?" With a resigned sigh, he situated himself in the driver's seat of the world's first flying Multi-Purpose Vehicle. As Aerianne settled herself onto Philip's lap, Trevor thought, [Yes, I switched girlfriends. Again. For those of you who know me, this should not come as a surprise. -T.] Trevor put the key into the ignition, and the Suburban roared to life. "I assume there's something, um, special to get this puppy off the ground." "But of course," was Philip's reply. "Wouldn't expect any less..." Philip flipped open the ashtray cover, revealing a keypad, ("Nice touch," Trevor commented) then punched a series of buttons and then the flashing [star] and [infinity] buttons at once. Trevor felt a rumbling underneath him, and shot a questioning look at Philip. "VTOL." "Ah." Trevor settled into the driver's seat, gripped the steering wheel (flight stick?), and got an energetic gleam in his eye. "I *like* it!" 36) --- Pilgrimage --------------------------------------------------- "He's got a road map of Jupiter Radar fix on the stars All along the highway" -- Rush, "Dreamline" "You got any music for this thing?" Trevor asked Philip. "Actually... I do." With a smile, he opened a tape of his, and slotted it into the tape deck. Pressing , he turned up the volume. "Oh yes. This is good. I like this. Oh, this is *very* good..." <<>> It is important to remember one of the first rules of driving: Always check your rear-view mirror. Unfortunately, this thing didn't seem to *have* a rear-view mirror; it was more like a wide-screen TV! Trevor took a chance and glanced backward. It is not everyday that one sees Robocop sitting in the back seat of one's flying Chevy Suburban. "Oh Philip..." "Yes Trevor?" said Philip after he had managed to untangle himself from Aerianne. "What's the walking pile of scrap metal in the back seat?" Philip glanced backwards and, matter-of-factly, answered, "Oh. That's Gordo. You two met, right?" From the back seat there arose a muttering of "Scrap metal? I'm offended." "Eh heh" was Trevor's answer. Here he was, driving a flying truck, and he was concerning himself over someone in a suit of armor? he thought. "Oh Philip..." "Yes Trevor?" said Philip after he had managed to untangle himself from Aerianne. "Where are we going? Just out of curiosity, you realize..." "WPI," Philip answered. "I assume you're going to be a bit more thorough than _that_." "Oh, sorry. Worcester Polytech -- " "I know that much. I mean how were you planing to get us there?" Philip didn't quite understand the question. "Flying." Trevor put on his best game-show-host voice and announced "Philip Moyer, that question was worth 400 obvious points! Care to give me *directions*?" Philip got a very sheepish grin on his face, muttered "Sorry," and handed Trevor a road map. "You've. Got. To. Be. Kidding." "Not really. How else were you planning to get there?" "Philip," Trevor said in one of those I-really-want-to-kill-you- now-but-I-won't-because-I'm-busy tones of voice, "WE'RE NOT ON THE ROADS!" "Your point?" "Besides, I'M DRIVING!" "You want me to do it?" "Can you get that thing unfolded ... wait, let me rephrase that. Can you deal with unfolding *that map* with Aerianne on your lap?" Philip and Aerianne both snickered, and with a huge grin on his face, Philip said "I'll find a way." Once Philip _finally_ unfolded the map (with a little help from Aerianne), the "road" to WPI was actually quite simple. Starting from Pittsburgh, the merry band of adventurers flew east towards Philadelphia. From there, they flew northeast along the Delaware River until it suddenly turned northwest before Trenton. Instead of flying along it, they continued straight on in their original direction until they approached New York City. They flew along the outskirts of the city until they hit Long Island, and then followed it until it ended. At the end of the island, they turned north and flew straight ahead, passing over Rhode Island on their way to Worcester. DC and Cor were headed to the Memorial Onion at URI, for a little pizza and Mortal Kombat. For his part, DigiCom was bubbling with ideas for his new fanfic idea, which he was working on instead of attending classes. The being known as The Corinthian generally ignored him, save for the occasional snarky comment. As DC continued to babble, however, it soon became obvious that there was another sound beginning to drown him out. DC paused, and the two of them turned towards the sound as it approached from the south. Before either of them could say anything, a brown and tan flying... _thing_... flew over the campus faster than such things should even be _able_ to move. As they stared, the brown vehicle flew north at high speed, not worrying about the two dumbfounded students left in its wake. "Jon" DC mumbled, "Please tell me I didn't see that." "You didn't see that, Mario." The pair shrugged, and moved on. The Suburban-From-Heck (which is what Trevor had christened it-- Hell was already -way- overused... there was even talk of it charging for the use of the trademark) made the approach on Worcester. And as they looked at the urban sprawl, one thought entered their minds at once. "Well, at least now I know why they nuked it twice," Philip snickered. Aerianne joined in, while Trevor just looked clueless, not understanding the reference. Meanwhile, at FOWL HQ, Petty, Tigris, and Ray were in conference. Needless to say, Ray was doing more observing than speaking, while the two commanders vocally slugged it out. "He has too much confidence in his pilot's abilities. His troops can't capture a simple CAR!" yelled Petty. "Well, _I_ wasn't the one who rammed his cruiser into a BRIDGE!" Tigris retorted. "Mr Ray, Sir!" exclaimed a gleepian tech as he rushed into the conference room, interrupting Petty and Tigris's argument. "Yes, tech?" asked Ray as he took the stack of papers that the tech had 'carried' with him. "Sir, we picked up another set of ion particle emissions, stronger than before. It stopped at Pittsburgh for a few minutes, and then proceeded on a northeast heading with several course corrections before going to ground again." Ray looked at the tech's report, which gave the vehicle's final destination. He frowned slightly. "And you _have_ confirmed that they have stopped there?" asked Ray nonchalantly. "Yes, sir," the tech gulped, not knowing what was coming next. Petty and Tigris watched as well. As long as the heat was off _them_, they figured, the might as well welcome this new diversion. "Very well, technician, you are dismissed." The tech left hurriedly, glad to be still alive. Ray turned towards the two commanders. "It has been determined that our little 'problem' has decided to take a trip to Worcester, Massachusetts. Now, seeing as Worcester is a historical trouble spot, I have decided that _this_ time, the strike force will be placed in more _capable_ hands." Both Petty and Tigris blanched at this announcement. They were apparently still _not_ in favor here. Ray pressed a button on his desk. A voice from a hidden speaker spoke. "Communications department, sir. What is your request?" "Get me in contact with the _Zibellina_. It should be currently in the middle of the Atlantic ocean by now." "Aye, sir!" The Suburban-From-Heck landed at the first parking lot they came across. One would think such an occurance would draw attention, but it didn't. Namely, because no one was there. Philip looked about. "Where _is_ everyone?" "Philip, have you considered the possibility that perhaps they have spring break the same time that we do?" asked Gordo. "Well, I was hoping they didn't... Maybe I'd get a chance to meet Zoner, or Vaughn, or maybe Gryphon or ReRob would stop by..." "Phil, it's SPRING BREAK! Did you actually expect ANYONE to be here?" exclaimed Trevor. "Well, _I_ didn't know when their spring break began!" he retorted. "Actually, Trevor, your hypothesis may be partially in error. It it is a known fact that some students stay on campus during spring break. Philip here is one example." "Well, _that_ figures," Trevor snorted. "Hey, it was the Henson workshop! Do you think I was about to pass that up?" "Come on you two, let's go to the Wedge. There might be _someone_ there," Aerianne offered, taking Philip's hand and tugging him along. "Ok, Ok!" Philip said, yielding willingly. "The first thing we have to do is _find_ the Wedge," he muttered under his breath as they began to walk. Trevor groaned. 37) --- Wedgitations -------------------------------------------------- "In the beginning, there was the Institute. And it was Good. It was even tuition-free in those days. And the Institute built two fine dormitories, Morgan and Daniels Halls. And there was clear road between them. Then there was the Wedge." -- Robert Mandeville Philip and company had apparently chosen an _outlying_ parking lot; it took them about 10 minutes of false turns until they finally got to the Quad by using the bell tower as an orienteering reference. But finally, they stepped onto the stone in the center, and Philip looked around. "Now, if this is the Quad... Then that over there is Alden...and _there_, between Morgan and Daniels, is the WEDGE!" he proclaimed, turning and pointing as if held by a vision. The group looked at the building. "You know, I never thought I'd see a building as weird as some of the ones at CMU," Trevor stated. "I see now that I was wrong." "Come my friends, the promised land awaits!" Philip exclaimed as he led the way. Philip strode through the airlock leading from the Quad into the Wedge, Aerianne and company following in his melodramatic wake. He stopped, surveying the landscape. "Phil, there's nobody here..." stated Trevor flatly. "No, there _is_," he replied, looking around at the Wedge Wall, the doors leading down to the Lower Wedge, as well as the Wedgebooths. And there, he saw them. Two people, male, upperclassmen by the looks of it, engaged in a conversation of some kind. They apparently had totally missed Philip's dramatic entrance. He approached them, and the bearded one looked up. And stared. And then looked at his companion and said, "Vaughn, do you have anything to do with this?" "Yes! At last! I finally found you!" Philip exclaimed, and immediately got on his knees and began to bow and scrape. Zoner glanced at Vaughn with a who-the-hell-is-_this_-guy? look, while Vaughn just shrugged. Trevor had his head in his hands and was muttering something about "why me. why me." Rufus had a quizzical expression, while Gordo just smiled his Smile(tm). Aerianne, who was standing next to Philip at the time, had a half bemused/half annoyed look. She was no stranger to this behavior. Once Philip finished his prerequisite homage to people-who-are- awesome-in-his-eyes and got up again, Vaughn asked the obvious question. "Morning! How's life?" he greeted the newcomers. "And who are you?" Zoner added, looking at the... "Unique" group assembled before him. "Well, _he's_ the fanboy," Trevor commented, pointing towards Philip. "_That_ much was obvious," Zoner smiled, despite the strange look Philip shot towards Trevor. "But I was thinking more in the way of _names_?" he queried. "Well, _I'm_ Philip, they guy in the lab jacket is Rufus, the guy wearing the selection from the Gryphon collection is Trevor, Aeri's wearing the trenchcoat, and Gordo's the one--" "--Wearing the power armor, yeah, I sorta guessed that," Zoner commented. After the introductions were finished, Philip, Zoner, Vaughn, and Aerianne got to talking about Life, the Universe, Anime, and Undocumented Features. Rufus took to trying to log on to his wam account using one of the terminals in the gweepery.z (and he was doing quite well), and Gordo walked down into the Lower Wedge to see what he could see. Trevor, on the other hand, was getting bored. Although he had heard about this "UF" from Philip, he hadn't really gotten into it yet (or more likely, couldn't find the time to read it and get addicted). So, he wandered about the Wedge for a while, pausing every once in a while to insert a comment into Philip's monologue, flirt with one of the (_very_ few) GLOGs in the Wedge, or just talk with any of the other Wedge Rats who had decided that going home for break really wasn't worth it. As he was reaching his n-1th loop around the Wedge, his tounge decided that it wanted a drink. Not being one to deny his tounge, he made his way to the soda machine and tried to order a soda. The machine spat out his dollar bill. Trevor tried again. Trevor straightened the bill out, and tried again. By this time, Trev was getting ticked, and he tried to insert the bill _once_ again, this time with a few choice words that are unprintable here. Gordo came over. "What seems to be the problem?" "The blasted machine's not taking my dollar, and I don't have any change," Trevor grumbled. Gordo smiled. "Allow me." He stepped up to the soda machine. He gave it a quick look over, and then lifted his right arm. He tilted his wrist forward, and with a SHICK!, a foot long spike of metal extended from the back of his arm. He inserted it into the dollar slot, and was rewarded with the sound of Dews dropping down into the slot at the bottom. "Nice trick," Trevor commented, eyes wide. By this time, a small group had assembled in the Wedge and were just milling about and Wedgitating. They didn't pay any extreme attention to the person talking at warp two or the guy in power armor, because they had seen stranger things in their lifetimes. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry," commented Aerianne as she came over to the booth where Philip, Zoner, and Vaughn were discussing alternate realities, starships, fictional beings, and other strange stuff. As per usual, Philip was doing about three-quarters of the talking, speaking at his usual 40-words-a-minute-because-I'm- really-excited rate. "How about DAKA?" Philip asked as a suggestion. "Nope," Megazone replied, finally able to get a word in edgewise. "Why not?" Zoner turned to look at Philip. "Two reasons. One is: because this is Break, and DAKA is closed; and Two is: because if it _were_ open, would you _really_ want to eat there?" Philip thought this over for a second, and then shook his head negatively. "That's what I thought." Trevor lowered his eyes as a faint rumble arose from his stomach. "Anyone for food?" he mumbled. Noting that no one had heard him, he stated a little louder, "Does anyone else want food?" However, Philip's volume (he talked loud when he got excited) once again drowned out his somewhat-muted voice. "WHO'S HUNGRY??" And there was silence. And then there were hands. Lots of hands. In fact, just about everybody seemed to be hungry. Suddenly, there arose a well-used and well-loved cry from all assembled, a cry that all who are or who have ever been in college are familiar with: "TECH!" Followed by a chorus of "Huh?" from those who didn't know. "Good suggestion; you do that," Zoner said. "What the hell is 'Tech?'," Trevor queried. Philip replied in a stage whisper, "It's a pizza place, Trev....." Ten minutes had passed, and Tech Pizza was on its way with two plain pizzas, one pepperoni, and one pineapple. (hey, if Trevor was ordering, he was going to get some pineapple pizza, dammit.) Aerianne was bored. "Anyone got a good idea for killing time?" Trevor pulled a deck of cards from his leather jacket. "Anyone for cards?" An unknown Wedge Rat suggested as he pulled two objects from his backpack. "How about boffa combat?" "Boffa daggers... How quaint!" Aerianne said in a scottish accent. Philip snickered. Trevor raised an eyebrow at this. "What do you mean, quaint?" Trevor said as the Rat handed him a dagger. Trevor and Aerianne both stood up. Trevor removed his jacket and Aerianne her trenchcoat. Trevor saw, for the first time, the katana hanging from Aerianne's belt. He whistled in appreciation. "Nice..." Aerianne's face flared. "Excuse me, but I'm taken!" "The sword! I was talking about the sword! Geez... (not that it's ever stopped me before, but...)" Was that a drop of blood at Trevor's nose? A clang rang through the Wedge as Aerianne unstrapped the sword and sheath and put them onto a nearby table. "Shall we dance?" she said with an evil grin, as she raised her dagger in a salute, and they began to duel. "Let's..." Trevor said as the two of them started circling. All of a sudden, Aerianne began a series of quick thrusts and swipes that took Trevor totally by surprise. Moving back to keep away from the blade, he then feinted left before dodging in to try to attack. But Aeri's blade was ready and waiting, and she blocked it with a THWOK! And then it was her turn to attack again... The rest of the combat between Trevor and Aerianne is not really worth the trouble of writing here. Suffice it to say, Trevor got his ass kicked. "Uncle, alright? Uncle!" Trevor said as Aerianne held the boffa dagger to his throat. Although he knew the weapon couldn't actually slice-n-dice him, it was the principle of the thing. Aerianne reached down and picked up Trevor's discarded dagger with a soft, almost alluring "There can be only one." "Ok, Philip, _your_ turn," said Aerianne as she tossed the dagger to him. "me?" Philip asked in a small voice. Aerianne just nodded, her eyes smiling. "Here comes that deja-vu feeling..." He picked up the dagger, and the game began anew. Philip's life flashed before him for a split second; then all his thoughts were directed towards preventing Aerianne from eviscerating him with the foam dagger. Admittedly, having been with Aerianne for some time now, Philip realized that having some combat experience would be a good idea. That was why he had made friends with Steve Albain, a fencing club member in his honors class (coincidentally, the same guy they'd watched "The Princess Bride" with). The only problem was that Aerianne had made friends with him as well. And that she had been able to go to more meetings than Philip could attend.... Philip weaved across the Wedge, blocking and dodging, the combat curiously silent except for the sound of dagger against dagger. He ducked behind one of the columns, then did something extremely sneaky; he kept the pillar between himself and Aeri. She couldn't get eyes on him for the life of her; it was as if he had disappeared. Then he reversed the direction of his travel around the pillar, climbed onto one of the Wedge trash barrels, and attempted to sweep the dagger in a great sweep in order to tap Aerianne between the shoulder blades. At least, that was what he _attempted_. It didn't turn out that way. As it turned out, Philip's mass was more than Gryphon's, and as he swept the dagger around to make contact, his mass and his height (as well as his precarious footing on the trash can) conspired with gravity against him, causing the can (and Philip) to topple to the Wedge floor with a KRASH!!! The duel having abruptly ended, Aerianne casually made her way over to Philip's side. She leaned over to pick up Philip's dagger, and softly asked him, "Do you concede?" Philip, still sprawled on the floor, grumbled "Yeah, yeah, I concede. Yeesh," he continued as Aeri pulled him up off the floor. "This sort of thing never happens in the fanfics." "I've got news for you, Philip: This isn't a fanfic." Philip smiled. "Quite frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way." "Anyone here order pizza?" said the pizza guy as he entered the Wedge. "Yeah, we did," Zoner stated from a Wedgebooth. "Trevor, pay the man," Philip added. Trevor did a double-take. "What?" "You heard me..." Philip continued. "No way. Uh-uh." "Come on, Trevor," said Aerianne as she sidled up to him. "You _are_ treating us out, aren't you?" "Now wait a minnit. This isn't fair! She does that seduction thing too well!" "Now, now, Aeri, that's not nice," Philip Smirked(tm) from a Wedgebooth. Zoner glanced at him for a second, and then returned his attention to Aerianne and Trevor. Trevor was trying (unsuccessfully) to resist Aeri's feminine wiles, and eventually he bowed under the pressure, and paid the delivery guy. The people there then got down to the serious task of noshing pizza. 38) --- Power Lunch --------------------------------------------------- "We were having lunch -- One restaurant, three mafia staff cars outside, a good bunch of thugs inside, and all the bullets you could eat..." -- Daniel Dukke Gordo was the one to notice it first. "Excuse me, Philip," Gordo said as they were eating pizza. "But if you look out the window on heading 135, you should find something of import." "Huh?" asked Philip, still chewing a piece of pizza. He turned to look out the window. Trevor did the same, and didn't see anything out of the ordinary, just clouds, birds, and trees. "Nothing's there, Gordo," commented Trevor. "Yes there _is_," stated Philip, quickly finishing the slice he was holding. "Are you getting the same readings I'm getting?" he asked as he began to get up and out of his seat. "If you are receiving between 20 and 30 bogies, then I believe you are," said the quasi-cyborg as he got up from his seat as well. "Khest! Rufus, Aeri, get the truck here as fast as possible. Trev, clean up and join us outside as soon as you can!" And with that Philip and Gordo ran out of the Wedge, narrowly avoiding an oncoming Wedge Rat. "Huh?" asked Trevor as Aeri and Rufus got up as well. Outside, Philip and Gordo stood scanning the sky, trying to get a better estimate on the approaching fleet. "Hold on, they're coming within visual range," Philip said as he squinted, triggering the [zoom] function on his glasses. He watched as the onboard cameras locked onto one jet and tracked with it as it flew. The nanocomp ID'd the intruder. VEHICLE TYPE: MIG-21 CREW: 1 TOP SPEED: MACH 2.1 "MiG-21's? We're fighting the Soviets?" Philip blinked. "I do not believe so, given the breakup of the USSR." "Then who?" he said, as he zoomed on the tail of the jet. A red star was painted there. "Well, whoever they are, they're _definitely_ hostile," he stated as he read the plane's ordinance off his glasses. ARMAMENT: 1 23MM GSH-23 GUN 4 HARDPOINTS - VARIOUS MISSILES PROBABLE MISSILES: 75% AA-2 ATOLL REAR-ASPECT INFRARED 23% AA-8 APHID ALL-ASPECT INFRARED 02% AA-7 APEX ACTIVE RADAR "Philip?" asked Aerianne, approaching him. "Huh?" Philip replied, still distracted by the situation. (Well, hey, wouldn't _you_?) "The truck's about 10 minutes away, and Trevor's still got the keys." "Ah. Problem." "No it isn't," said Rufus with a smile as he pulled out what appeared to be a garage-door opener, but with more buttons. He pointed the opener in the general direction of the truck, and then pressed a a button on it. In the parking lot, the RF signal reached the Suburban's passive sensor suite. The signal activated the onboard computers, and the starter cranked up the engine with a roar while the active radar plotted out the quickest path to the signal it received. The shifter on the steering column suddenly moved of it's own free will, and the steering wheel turned as the truck suddenly backed out of its space, and shifted to [(D)] as it accelerated. It lurched forward as it sped towards WPI, ignoring the roads that had so nicely been laid out for its use. Back at the Wedge, Trevor was looking confused as the other Wedge Rats watched Philip and company race outside. "Are your friends always like this?" asked Zoner as he looked through the Wedge windows at the four. "For Philip, I'd have to say 'yeah'; as for the others, I wouldn't really know." He sighed, wondering if Philip was even worrying about the impression he was making, and shrugging on his jacket, made his way out of the airlock. "Philip, we're going to have to talk about this... RUFUS!" Trevor came outside just in time to see the Suburban-From-Heck come to a screeching stop, bare inches from turning Rufus into roadkill. "Yes?" replied Rufus nonchalantly. Trevor watched as the doors on the Suburban popped open of their own accord, and the four Marylanders set to work pulling out stuff from behind the back seats. "Did you know this was going to happen? 'Cause if you did, I wish you had told me," he asked as Philip and Rufus helped Gordo put a large, blocky jetpack onto the back of his armored form. (In fact, it matched the style of his armor quite well.) "Nope, we didn't know about it until you did," Rufus said as he made the final connections, and replaced Gordo's left gauntlet with a weapons unit. He turned to put on his own CVR, while Aerianne was getting ready to get into hers. Trevor stared. "Trevor, will you _turn around_?" she exclaimed as she was taking off her sweater, revealing a tight blue bodysuit beneath. Trevor did no such thing, opting instead to imitate Mackie Stingray. "Philip," she sighed in disgust, "Will you _please_ calm down Trevor's raging hormones?" "Certainly," Philip said, as he locked himself into the custom hardsuit that he had designed. He walked over to Trevor, who was _still_ staring, and said in a menacing voice, "Either do as Aerianne says, or you'll never have to worry about your hormones _again_." As if to punctuate his point, he deployed the twin Damascus Blades that were mounted on the back of his arms. "Okayokayokay!" Trevor said, backing off and turning around. "Good... Oh, you might want to put this on while you're waiting," Philip said, handing him a duffel bag filled with CVR. "Gee, thanks," Trevor muttered as Philip turned to help Aerianne. "Um... Phil?" Trevor asked. "Yeah?" "If we're going into _battle_, where are the _weapons_ on that thing?" "Rufus?" Rufus, now in his iridescent-green CVR, walked over to Trevor, who was trying to get into his. Showing the remote to him, he pressed a button labeled [KICK ASS MODE]. The Suburban shuddered for a moment, and then several panels and orifices opened up as the flight systems also came online. Trevor's eyes widened. "_Nice_ touch," was all he could say as two large barrels deployed themselves from the back sides of the Suburban. At about this time, Aerianne was finishing the final connections of the SSSIVA augmentation packs to the CVR that she was wearing. They would give her flight capability, as well as enhanced armor protection and more weapons at her command. A pair of missile pods on the thighs, a set of rear turret lasers, and a set of shoulder launched missiles would make death and destruction a personal problem for the enemy. A thruster pack for each leg and for her back completed the ensemble. "You ready?" asked Philip as he secured his helmet and brought the in-helmet projection system online. Rufus and Gordo had already climbed into the Suburban, and Trevor was just finishing securing his armor. "Hold on, just one more thing..." She picked up something, and locked it onto her right SSSIVA gauntlet. "Aerianne, what is _that_?" Philip and Trevor asked simultaneously. "Oh just a little bit of feminine protection," she commented as she connected the long, black cannon into her flightpack. "Ok, let's GO!" she exclaimed as she hopped into the Suburban and slammed the door closed. "You heard the lady, Trev; let's MOVE IT!" Philip yelled as he got in and slammed the opposite door. "Ohhhkaayyy.." Trevor said as he opened the driver's side door, closed it, and accelerated off of the Quad. 39) --- Suburban Commandos -------------------------------------------- "Outnumbered, yes. Outgunned, maybe. Outclassed, NEVER!" -- DigiCom, OTAKU RISING II "Hey, Phil?" Trevor asked as they climbed for altitude. "Yeah?" he replied, checking his weapons status on his HUD. "Where are the weapon _controls_?" Philip leaned over from the middle of the back seat and pointed out controls. "OK. This trigger on the wheel _here_ is for the M-134 miniguns behind the grille; _this_ trigger is for the paired Supertrooper laser/ maser cannons on the sides; the switches in the center console," he said as he opened the box between the captain's chairs and locked it open, "are for selecting the AIM-9M all-aspect heat-seeking Sidewinders and/or the AGM-114A Hellfire laser guided missiles. _This_ trigger launches the selected missile(s) at the selected target(s). You've also got Roadkiller mines, but they won't really help you. The HUD will give you all the necessary flight data, as well as targeting info and lock-on indication for your weapons, as well as alerting you to our locations as well as the enemy's. "In other words Trev, 'Don't shoot at us, we're the GOOD GUYS!'" Philip said with a smile, although no one could see it through his hardsuit's helmet. "Ok, everyone ready?" he asked, turning. They nodded, although Trevor's nod was hesitant. "Ok, seal helmets, and prepare for drop! 5..4..3..2..1..GO!" He pressed a button on the back of the "pilot's" seat and the back doors popped open. "Banzai!" Aerianne exclaimed as she jumped out of the Suburban. "'And Awayyy we go!'" Gordo gleasoned as he tumbled out of the truck. "Wozniak!" Philip yelled as he pushed out and activated his jets. "Wozniak?" asked Rufus, still in his CVR. Trevor shrugged, and then turned his attention to learning-combat-flying-by-doing. "R-r-red 1," the squadron leader called into his helmet comm system with about the fakest Russian accent you've ever heard, "take r-red 2 an-d t-ree to disable deir leeder." "Aye komrade," was the reply. "Gold group, try to take out deir wessel." Gold 2 suddenly piped up. "Is it nuclear? Oh, pleez, *pleez* say it's nuclear. I've always wanted to take out a nuclear wessel..." Rufus looked up. "We got bogies coming in at 1:30." Trevor, who was trying (despite immense odds) to keep a sense of humor about all this, glanced at his watch and commented, "Well, then, we got plenty of time before they -- " "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK, YOU SCHMUCK," Aeri's voice replied over their commnet. Sheepish? Yeah, I guess you could say Trevor looked sheepish. Baah. "Alright," he said, getting down to business. "What're we fightin' here?" Rufus squinted a little, looking through his glasses, and replied, "I have no idea. Gordo, patch in to the Suburban's camera systems. Take a look at Camera 2 and tell me if you know what the hell those are." The reply came back after a couple of seconds. "Yes, Rufus, I do indeed 'know what the hell those are.'" In the excitement of the moment, though, Gordo forgot to _tell_ Rufus what the hell they were. "Philip, are you aware that we seem to be fighting flying rodent mammals of the genus Martes?" "Huh?" "If you examine the cockpit of the next aircraft you encounter, you will see what I am describing." Philip, acting on Gordo's advice, flew over to another plane and landed on it on all fours. He moved towards the cockpit, deployed his blades, and sliced the hinges and latches off of the canopy. He moved to one side as the canopy was torn off the fighter, and looked inside. "We're fighting flying WEASELS?" he exclaimed as he pulled the furry brown pilot out of the cockpit. The plane began to fall, due to the lack of a controlling intelligence, and Philip jumped off, taking the pilot with him. "Actually, the correct term for this species is the Russian sable." "Ok... If we're fighting sables, let's see how they like being _skinned_." With that thought, Philip targeted another fighter. BC LAUNCHER SELECTED -- TARGETING -- TARGET LOCKED 15 PROJECTILES ARMED AND READY >>>LAUNCHING<<< Philip's left arm straightened, and from one of the pods, what looked to be flechette rounds (or maybe shrapnel) rocketed out of the pod towards the fighter. The pilot saw it coming, and dodged, since most flechettes once fired don't change course, right? Wrong. With a chilling howl, the dime-sized ion drives in the individual projectiles activated, and steered them towards the jet, who at this time didn't know what was going on. They flew in close, and proceeded to slice the outer hull from the fighter, reducing its aerodynamics immensely. Once that was done, they came around for another pass, and sliced the canopy off. And for the Coupe-de-Gracie, they homed in on the pilot and shaved him. Needless to say, the sight of one of their own being brutalized drove the sables into a frenzy. Many of them remembered the horrors of the cap camps and they were not about to let that happen again. As if one entity, the lead wing of enemy planes locked onto Philip's form and fired. Philip's eyes widened. This did _not_ look good. The battle was joined; Gordo couldn't have been happier. With a howl of delight, he thrusted towards one of the enemy planes. A look of confused amusement came over the pilot of the plane that Gordo had chosen as his target; it wondered. As the sable's face twisted into a sneer, he accelerated, attempting to run Gordo over. Now, at this point you might expect that Gordo and the MIG would collide, at which point both would halt in midair as Gordo stopped the MIG in mid-flight. In fact, this was what Gordo was planning to do. Well, Gordo -did- collide with the MIG. Pity he didn't manage to stop it, though. His jetpack and armor was way underclassed, and were unable to even -try- to provide the thrust and leverage needed to stop the fighter. Instead, Gordo hit the leading edge of the wing and bounced up and over it as the jet blasted by. Disoriented, Gordo tumbled end-over-end as the sable left him in his jetwash. In desperation, Gordo grabbed onto whatever he could reach in order to stop his spin. What he ended up grabbing onto was the MIG's tail as the jet flew past. "What the --?!" exclaimed the pilot as he quickly turned his head to glance at Gordo desperately holding on for dear life. He then smiled as he punched the afterburner and began to fly wildly in hopes shaking Gordo off and into the jet's exhaust. Gordo hung on by his gauntleted right hand as the sable pilot executed a dizzying series of turns-and-burns. His blood rushed to his feet as his body threatened to black out. His free arm moved wildly, in an attempt to grab onto the wing as well, but Gordo had forgotten at this point that his left gauntlet had been replaced with a weapons housing. Therefore, as he clenched his hand inside it (in hopes of grabbing on), his hand managed to press all the triggers inside at once. The weapons gauntlet went off, spraying autocannon rounds all over the MIG-21's fuselage. Several went into the wings, puncturing the fuel tanks, while others shot into the engine core and a few grazed the cockpit. Some even managed to penetrate the connection between the tail and the rest of the jet, weakening it severely. A few seconds later, the sound of rending metal told Gordo that it was about time for him to bail. He did so, and just in time to watch the tail rip free of the jet. The MIG began to lose altitude, fast. Trevor winced in sympathy with the soon-to-be-grounded sable pilot. "Ooh," he murmured. "No more wit' the booms. Don't wit' the booms make..." Philip ducked (well, 'lowered his altitude' for the literalists out there, but bear with me here...) as three missiles flew over his head. He had about 0.263 seconds to sigh in relief before he noticed them swinging around for another pass. "Someone," he called over the comm-net, "Save Me???!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE???????????" Trevor called back, "On it," as he steered the Suburban towards the three planes following Philip. "Oh yeah," he was commenting to himself, "three professional Russian planes against a Chevy truck. Oh, this'll be no problem. No problem at all. Someone remind me how I got myself into this mess..." "MISSILES! I MEANT THE MISSILES!" Trevor sighed. Why were visions of a bad Marx Brothers routine coming to mind? "Hey Rufus," he said as they changed course to trail the missiles, "how we doing with the weapon systems on this thing?" Rufus was busying himself with his link to the Suburban and only had the spare processing time to murmur a quick "Stand by" before he re-immersed himself with the weapons. "Rufus," Trevor said, trying to remain calm, "our friend is out there, trying to keep from getting an unannounced enema from a Sidewinder missile, and all you can say is STAND BY?!?!" "Actually," came Gordo's voice over the comm-net, "MiG-21's are not equipped with Sidewinder missiles. Those missiles are probably AA-2 Atoll class. They are, actually, a pretty close equivalent to the Sidewi -- " "Thank you Mr. Data," Trevor replied through clenched teeth. "Why," Aerianne muttered to herself, "am I stuck with amateurs?" Rufus suddenly lifted his head and looked out the front window. "Wait for missile lock." Trevor was suddenly all serious. (Not a very common occurrence, but what the hell?) "How long?" "15 seconds. Those missiles are fast." "We've got lasers, right?" "Yeah. Armed and ready." The glint of an idea formed in Trevor's mind. He steered the truck towards Philip. "Philip, start flying straight ahead." "WHAT?! I CAN'T OUTRUN THOSE THINGS!!" "That's OK, you don't have to." As Philip straightened out his flight plan, the missiles did likewise and flew straight at Philip. Flew, in fact, straight through the field of laser fire Trevor inserted in front of them. Two of them ignited instantly. As the third missile bore down on Philip, it was suddenly shredded by a burst of laser fire from the opposite direction. Aerianne's laser cannon slowly stopped smoking. "Can we stop playing now and start worrying about those planes?" Philip and Trevor simultaneously replied "Yes dear." Aeri spun around in mid-air and targeted her missiles at the three closest planes. She paused just long enough to get a dependable lock, then fired. One of the missiles found a plane's wing, which started smoking as it headed towards the ground. The pilot ejected and, as its parachute opened, floated safely towards the ground. Safely, that is, until a short burst of automatic laser fire turned the parachute into confetti. The other two planes swerved, however, and evaded the missiles. "Damn," Aeri muttered to herself and accelerated to attack speed. Trevor let out his best Han Solo "Yee-hoo!" impression as the Suburban flew through the blast cloud of what was a MiG. Rufus didn't seem to appreciate his flying style. "Where's our next target, Chewie?" The look on Rufus's face practically screamed "Duh?" "The next plane. Where's the next plane?" "Bearing 180 from our current posit -- " "6 o'clock, Rufus. Just say '6 o'clock.'" "But you didn't understaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Rufus's defense was cut short as Trevor flipped the truck upside down in order to change direction. When he had realigned the truck roughly with how Chevy had designed it (minus the flying part), and Rufus had regained his breath, Trevor said, "Get a lock on that plane." His voice had changed slightly, but Rufus hadn't known him long enough to notice it; it was a bit more deadly, a bit more bloodthirsty. Philip knew it, however, and didn't like it. "Trevor, you ok in there?" The smile came back to Trevor's face, but it had more of a smirk look to it. "Just fine, Phil. Still with you. If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, don't worry. Paladin's gone. Forever." Rufus, having given up on this conversation a long time ago, reported that the requested lock had indeed been established. Trevor didn't respond, just maneuvered the truck so it was headed straight for the plane. Rufus's eyes grew wide as they headed straight for the enemy, getting close enough to see the panicked look on the pilot's face that mirrored Rufus's quite nicely, thank you. Wordlessly, Trevor hit the launch button for the missile, then pulled out before his adversary could launch an attack of its own. As the target exploded, Trevor turned to Rufus and, flashing his eyes at him to complete the effect, explained, "It's all in the wrist, friend." It was all Rufus could do to whimper. He was going to HAVE to talk to Philip about personnel reassignments... "DIE, damn you!" cursed Aerianne as yet another MiG dodged her blasts. She was trying to save on missiles by using her arm cannon, but she was learning the hard way that it's _hard_ to aim an energy cannon when you're flying. "Stay still!" she yelled, firing shot after shot. Finally losing patience, she reached over and shifted the power/ width indicator from [CLIFFJUMPER] through [OPTIMUS] to [MEGATRON]. The cannon built up charge, and as one MiG flew into her sights, she fired. <<>> The MiG was immolated instantly. So was the extreme left end of Daniels Hall. Aerianne was thrown upwards by the blast (Newton At Work!), and adjusted to compensate. "What the _fuck_ was that?" asked Trevor eloquently over the tacnet, as he strafed another MiG, wounding it. "Hey, Kei!" Philip said as he pursued a jet. "Nice shootin'!" "*Don't* *Call* *Me* *KEI*!" Aeri yelled as she aimed the cannon at him. It started to glow. "Nevermind!" he squeaked, ducking out of the way. "Good," she smiled over the comm, and she turned to reduce another enemy plane to something resembling charred ash. Philip mused to himself as he reduced the fighter he was following to something resembling swiss cheese. Aeri fired a few more times at full power, obliterating two more fighters until she had to stop. The cannon was an _incredible_ drain on the SSSIVA's flightpack; the last time she fired it caused a temporary systems shutdown, causing the flight pack to go offline. "I don't think this was in the game plaaaaannnnnnnnn," Aeri complained as she headed towards the ground. Everyone has a trigger, a stimulus that drives us to heretofore- unseen behavior. Something that brings out the hero, the foolhardy saviour that exists somewhere deep inside each and every one of us. Philip Jeremy Moyer, as he watched Aerianne plummet towards the loving, if slightly dangerous, Mother Earth, felt his trigger being pulled. Click. "Your problem," Jean-Luc Picard's words reverberated in his mind, "is that you really _do_ have a sense of honor. Don't blame me for knowing you so well." He ignited his thrusters, ignoring the thoughts of his mentor, and spread his jetwings, engaging in an eagle-dive to rescue Aerianne. His HUD flashed >WARNING< in response to his rapidly diminishing altitude, but he paid no heed. His entire being was focused on catching his girlfriend. His subconscious, however, noted that he'd have to lower the volume in his helmet, because he was going to have one heck of a headache when this was all over. Individual air molecules didn't even have time to move, and were sliced in two by Philip's wings as he descended on the apparently lifeless form of Aerianne. (I know, it's a neat trick, isn't it?) His arms reached out and grabbed her just as she was about to get up- close-and-personal with the roof of Morgan Hall. Philip was suddenly snapped back to reality as he reversed direction to avoid the fate he so narrowly saved her from. [And we _do_ mean snapped; he's going to have the _worst_ case of whiplash tomorrow morning... -Eds.] Aerianne let out a gasp as her downward motion was suddenly halted. she thought as she began to rise again up to the battle. But her thrusters _weren't_ online yet; her HUD still said she had about 30 seconds until the powerplant would be up to full strength. She looked down, and saw metal-clad hands holding her under her knees and back; looking up, she saw a familiarly helmeted head. "Philip?" she asked somewhat hesitantly. The helmet turned to regard her, and the commnet crackled to life. "Aerianne! Are you alright?!" Philip's voice echoed clearly in her ear. Aeri nodded, and then added gently "Thanks. I owe you one, Philip." "Just consider it payback for saving my skin earlier," he bantered for the first time during this entire battle. Aerianne laughed, and played along. "Well, I'll be sure to make you pay in _full_ later..." Both of them smiled, though neither could see it. "You ready?" Philip asked as they reached battle altitude. "You _bet_!" she exclaimed as she jumped out of his arms. Her jets immediately sprung to life, and she was airborne once again. "You know," Philip commented offhandedly as they flew into the battle. "What?" Aeri answered, just as offhandedly. Apparently, Philip's confidence had returned, and she was curious at what he was going to propose. "WE'd probably have more success if we teamed up. Whaddaya say?" "I like the way you think. Let's do it!" Aerianne said as she gave him a thumbs-up. The two of them accelerated towards a MiG. The sable pilot blinked as two bogies flew into his sights. But before he could get a perfect lock, the two were upon him and had split up; one above and one below. The pilot shifted in his seat, trying to see what the one above was doing. He watched as the cloven-footed figure pulled back both it's arms, and then drive them forward onto the plane. Dull CHOOOM!s echoed through the cockpit as the guns in the suited figure's hands fire upon contact with the hull. At the same time, unseen to the pilot, the other figure had shot along the underside of the plane, and had allowed its rear lasers to go to work, peppering the fuselage with laser bolts. It let the plane fly past, and soon the first figure joined it as the jet lost altitude and fell towards the lake. Philip and Aerianne exchanged a high-five in midair, and then turned and said "Ok, NEXT!" "The battle does not go well," observed Ray in his underground HQ. An aerial view of the battle was being transmitted from one of the sable's wing cameras, but before it could get a really good picture, it was destroyed, and the techs scurried to get another image. "No _KIDDING_!" exclaimed the figure who was standing next to him. Or more precisely, hovering. "That's what you get for using amatures," he muttered, disgusted. "You would seem to be correct. It is time for you to use your talents to deal with these... pests. Go. Destroy them." The figure smiled, a terrible thing, and flew off to cause chaos and destruction. The fact that there was about 100 floors and about 50 feet of dirt between him and the surface didn't bother him one bit. "But do not disappoint me," said Ray after the diminutive figure left. "Unlike your predecessor, Fred... who was weak." The battle continued to rage above WPI, as the Sables and the "Terrapin Corps" (as Philip had dubbed themselves, against Trevor's protests that he _wasn't_ a Terp) struggled for control. Even though going into the _entire_ battle would take too long to write here, suffice it to say, the Terrapin Corps were doing pretty well. 40) --- Pest Control -------------------------------------------------- "What the hell we fighting for? Just surrender and it won't hurt at all You just got time to say your prayers While you're waiting for the Hammer to Fall." -- Queen "Well, I guess that's that," Trevor said as the Terrapin Corps surveyed the carnage they had wrought. Nothing was left of the Sable Air Force except for about three planes that had decided that fleeing was the better part of valor. The rest were laying about as crashed wrecks or as metal confetti. Three or four only existed as small piles of subatomic particles. "Now all we've got to do is pay the bill, which I am _not_ about to do!" Philip attempted to respond, but a voice from above cut him off. "WRONG, CHUMPS! You have to deal with ME!" The little group looked up towards the sound. "Who, or what, was _that_?" Trevor queried, pulling the Suburban around to search the sky. "I don't know," Aeri answered, but Philip cut them off as he locked his sensors on the rapidly approaching object. "Wait, gang, _Look_," he pointed. "Up in the sky." "It's a bird," Aerianne stated, basing her judgement on its size. "No, it's a plane," Rufus replied, thinking it too fast for a bird. "No, it's -- " Philip tried to announce, but he was cut off as the others finally saw what he was seeing. He came out of the sky, floating like the last autumn leaf, heralded by the the wind's harshest cry, trailed by a red rippling cloak that snapped and whipped on the gusts like an unfurled flag. He landed, touching the earth lightly. A graceful sight. At least it would have been, if only he wasn't so GROSS! "EWWW!" the group chorused. "Hi, I'm SUPERLIZARD!" Trevor, in an uncharacteristically religious moment, whispered "Jesus Christ!" "Oh," he boomed back. "You know my full name: Jesus Christ SuperLizard. Have we met?" To himself, Trevor recited the pertinent lines from Spaceballs. "'What's your name?' 'Barf.' 'What's your full name?' 'Barf-olomew!'" This was still looking like it was going to be a long day... <<>> "SUPERLIZARD?" chorused Gordo, Rufus, and Aerianne. Philip just groaned. "You must be kidding..." Trevor murmured. "Unfortunately, he _isn't_," Philip replied. But the evidence to support Trevor's viewpoint seemed overwhelming. After all, this character was only six inches tall. But, on the other hand, he did have the blue spandex (complete with a yellow "L" on his chest) and a red cape flowing behind him. Gordo flew closer in order to get a closer look at their diminutive adversary. "You realize, he doesn't appear so tough..." >SLAM!< Gordo hit the ground as SuperLizard reached out, grabbed him, and judo- flipped Gordo into the pavement. "I'm experiencing pain... I don't like it..." Gordo was musing. What's the appropriate thing to say, 'Ow'?" Trevor considered the situation and, recognizing the passage from the Star Trek episode "Deja Q," shrugged and replied, "'Ow'." "OW!", he roared as he tried to extract himself from the custom- made crater. Trevor, seeing that Gordo had been fed a full helping of asphalt, decided that the direct approach was inadvisable. Instead, he decided to use diplomacy. Gunboat Diplomacy. "Get ready to fire everything on my mark," Trevor said as he lined up the Suburban for a strafing run. Rufus nodded, and then seconds later announced, "You've got the guns." Trevor said "Good" as he smiled thinly. And as the lizard came into his targeting reticle, he fired. SuperLizard looked up as the Suburban opened up with everything it had. He looked surprised for a moment, but then yawned as his neck frill spread open to full size, nicely deflecting the bullets that were flying at him. The majority of them just pinged off his frill or his body, while the others just plain missed. As for the missiles? SuperLizard stood his ground as they homed in on him and detonated. "YES!" Trevor exclaimed as he pumped his fist in the air. "Scratch one Lizard!" He watched expectantly as the smoke cleared. The Lizard was unaffected. In fact, it seemed mildly ticked, as it took to the air towards the Suburban. "Uh...right. This is _bad_..." Trevor blanched as he approached. Rufus looked confused for a moment, and then gasped in pain as the lizard ripped off two of the Suburban's wheels. The same ones that were keeping the Suburban aloft. The Suburban began to lose altitude, and fast. At the same time, Zoner and company had been watching the battle from the (relative) safety of the Wedge. Strangely (or not so strangely), the Wedge hadn't been hit by _anything_ major through the entire battle, and those assembled were taking the full advantage of the fact. They watched as the girl in the power armor aimed her arm cannon at the reptile. There was a flash of azure-white light, and everyone flinched. When they looked back (where there _should_ have been a small crater), they saw the Lizard still there, smiling. "You know, you could hurt someone with that," Jesus Superlizard said as he grabbed Aerianne by her gun arm and flung her over his shoulder. Her cannon was ripped from her arm, along with some of the CVR, as she crashed into a dumpster. Aeri shakily pulled herself out of the dumpster, and silently admitted to herself that she might be out of her league. "Jesus H!" Philip exclaimed as Aerianne crashed. "Yes?" said the Lizard as he turned. "Ok, bub," Philip said, accelerating towards the lizard. "Payback tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Philip's battle cry turned into a choked scream, as the superpowered lizard grabbed Philip by the armored ankles, and began to spin him around. Trevor struggled to maintain control of the Suburban (and failed) as the flying juggernaut lost altitude and control. "Brace for impact!" Rufus exclaimed as the Suburban plummeted towards a group of small buildings near the Wedge. The Suburban impacted, hard; and then scraped forward for several yards before coming to a stop just bare inches from hitting a bright- red Dodge Daytona that was parked near one of the buildings. [Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy... -Eds.] "Damn, that was close," Trevor said as he pulled himself out of the wrecked Suburban and made his way towards the Wedge. Rufus shakily unplugged himself from the Suburban's dash, and joined him. "Now what?" Rufus asked. Trevor was about to answer, but was cut off as a scream cut across their earphones, as Philip's armored form flew over the campus, and towards the eastern horizon. "oh my god...." Rufus gasped. 41) --- Call the Orkin Woman ------------------------------------------ "To defend/This is the Pact/But when life's scorned/And damage done To avenge/This is the Pact" -- Blue Oyster Cult, "Vengeance (The Pact)" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" yelled Aerianne as the lizard flung Philip away from the battle. "philip...." she trailed off as he flew out of sight. She looked at the lizard, who was laughing up a storm. "HA! You guys couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag!" Superlizard mocked them. "Even _that_ geek was a wimp!" And the lizard doubled over with laughter at his own joke. Aerianne, seeing this little reptile acting so boastful and tough, felt a change come over her. Her sudden despair slowly turned to solid anger. She began to check her systems for battle. As she did so, Trevor come over out of concern for her sudden silence. "Aeri, what are you doing?" asked Trevor as she made the last check. Everything was ready. "It's time to squish a pest," she said with bitter resolve. She pressed a button on her CVR, setting off minor explosive charges which shed the armor without harming her, and revealing a very familiar battlesuit underneath. With a scream of rage, she activated her thrusters and accelerated towards the SuperLizard. Trevor was surprised, to say the least, since he had never _seen_ the Akagiyama-23 armor, but Aerianne was beyond caring. That lizard was going to _pay_. <<>> The lizard, still gloating, hadn't heard the quick exchange between Trevor and Aerianne, nor the explosive bolts going off. What did catch his attention was the sudden thruster fire and the battle cry from Aerianne. He turned, and saw her coming straight at him, fist pulled back for a punch. he thought right before she hit him, expecting her to pulp her hand on impact and fall back in pain. Instead, much to Superlizard's surprise, the punch impacted hard and sent him flying backwards. "WHAT?!?!" he yelled as flew through the air through two walls before being stopped by a third. he thought as he pulled himself out of the wall. He flew towards Aerianne, a snarl on his face. "Let's see how tough you _really_ are!" he said as he moved to engage. Aerianne turned to face the challenge. Battle was joined. SuperLizard's first punch sent Aeri flying across the quad from whence she came; her jets fired and she dodged as the lizard flew in for another punch. And then the combatants left the confines of the campus entirely; opting instead to do major property damage to the surrounding city of Worcester, Massachusetts. People watched as a column of smoke, debris, and flying cars traveled across the city. "Didn't I see this in Project A-Ko once?" Vaughn offhandedly commented from the safety of the Wedge. Meanwhile, the reason for the Battle Royale, Philip, flew over the Atlantic ocean in a nice parabolic arc (ax^2+bx+c for those math majors in the audience). "It might have been a good idea to make this thing sealable," he said as the suit began to graze the upper atmosphere and lose pressure and oxygen. "At least it's heat resistant!" he managed to blurt out as he began to black out. Back in Massachussets, SuperLizard and Aerianne flew across the city, each trying to gain some sort of advantage. They rocketed down Main Street into the tunnel, surprising the people who where driving within, and they dodged among the cars. JHC flew under one and threw it up into her path; Aerianne had only enough time to raise her left arm and yell "AKAGIYAMA MISSILES!" before the car hit. The Saab 900 Turbo erupted into a nice little fireball, and she shot through the flames. A whistling in his ear. That was the first thing that Philip noticed as he regained consciousness. Curious as to what it was, he turned his head, and almost had it sheared off as friction came into effect. He struggled to shift his head forwards, and by the time he had done so, his eyes had opened, and he could see what his external cameras were seeing. --Earth, rushing up towards him--a coastline, a country-- mountains, cities, fields-- Philip desperately kicked in his jets and maneuvering thrusters in an attempt to stop or slow down. It did help, but only enough to spin him around so his rear was facing down when he hit. Aerianne and the Lizard flew around each other in the air in some kind of sick and twisted takeoff on Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango," each trying to gain some kind of advantage with which to vaporize the other. JHC (as the Terrapin Corps had taken to calling him) had actually managed to make some dents in Aeri's armor, and she had likewise been able to take a few chunks out of the diminutive lizard's greenish-brown hide. She was currently engaged in dodging his small, yet powerful fist. She launched another volley of mini-missiles from her launcher, but the lizard dodged them with ease. "Alright," she exclaimed through clenched teeth, "This is getting boring. DARK JACOBI METEOR WHIP!" she ordered as she held her right hand forward in a fist. There was a small flash of light from the launcher on her wrist as a black cord-like object flew towards JHC. As it continued its flight, it uncoiled to reveal a three-piece bola-type contraption. To the Lizard's surprise, the bola managed to wrap itself around his left arm and, as it finished coiling itself, the three black spheres on the ends of the cords exploded. Aerianne let out a sigh of relief, thinking that the battle was finally over. Thinking that, however, until the lizard extracted itself from the pile of rubble that had buried it. "That. Tickled." he said. Aeri's eyes widened, and her shoulders dropped a fraction of an inch. "Why me?" Philip awoke slowly. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn't dead. Relieved that he wasn't, he lifted himself up to get a look at where he was. Since his helmet systems had been fried, he took it off and let it drop. He looked around. It looked like a manufacturing center, and apparently production had been temporarily halted with the appearance of their uninvited guest. Most of the people just stared as he looked up at the hole in the roof. Some of them muttered among themselves in a language he didn't understand. "Nice hole," he muttered, turning to look at the room again. Not understanding what they were for, he looked down to see what he had landed in. His eyes widened. LEGOs. He had landed in a vat of LEGOs. "Excuse me!" he said, as he waded his way to the edge of the vat. "Excuse me? Could you tell me where I am?" The people who he approached drew back. "Anyone here speak english?" One man came forward. "Just so I can tell my friends what this dream was about, ok... where am I?" "You're in Billund, Denmark, young man," the man said in heavily accented english. "Billund?" Philip asked in an incredulous whisper. The man nodded. Philip popped the chestplate of his hardsuit, pulled out the 'lego-on- a-string' that he had been wearing for a while, and locked it closed again. He held it between his armored fingers, and squeezed the knobs on top. Nothing happened. "Frick, must have been a dud-EYOUCH!" he yelped as the golden LEGO sent an electric charge across his suit and over his skin. He dropped it in shock, and it disappeared in the mass of LEGOs beneath him. "Damn, now it's gone," he said as he leaned over to look for it. But as he looked, he noticed that the LEGO's were... moving? He turned to investigate, but was cut off as tentacles and psuedopods made out of LEGOs enveloped him. <<>> "What the hell is HAPPENING?!?!?!" he attempted to scream, but no sound was audible to the rest of the people there, as he was being covered from head to foot by layer-upon-layer of LEGOs. He tried to move his arm in an attempt to free himself from the suddenly-sentient pile of children's toys, but his eyes widened when he saw a gigantic LEGO fist instead of his normal hand. The light bulb slowly flickered to life above Philip Moyer's head. "Hmm... I wonder... a gun, I need a gu -- " As he pondered, some of the spare LEGO pieces that were lying around formed themselves into a perfect replica of a M-134 minigun. "COOL!" 42) --- Running on Empty ---------------------------------------------- "You may be right/It's all a waste of time/I guess that's just a chance I'm prepared to take/A danger I'm prepared to face/Cut to the chase.." -- RUSH, "Cut to the Chase" As the Legos snapped into place in Philip's latest twisted idea for his armor, he half-expected to see a small Autobot symbol appear. He smiled to himself for the idea. Even though he was thoroughly enjoying this, the back of his mind tickled with the idea that he was forgetting something. He thought back to what he was doing right before he found the -- "AERI!!!!!!!!" The Danes, accustomed as they were to Philip's fiddling with the LEGOs, were still taken aback as Philip shaped the blocks into a miniature version of a Federation Runabout-class ship and took off. Aerianne was tiring, and the lizard knew it. As Aerianne paused for a moment to catch her breath, he dove in and gave her a literally flying kick, which sent her flying as well. Aerianne flew backwards from the force of the Lizard's kick. She arced over the campus, and hit the Alden Hall bell tower just as it was beginning to play "Chariots of Fire". She impacted hard, wrecking the internal mechanism and mercifully stopping the audible pain coming from the speakers. However, it didn't stop her physical pain, and she attempted to extract herself from the side of the tower. Seeing the lizard approach, she dodged to the side and landed on the roof. After a few straining moments, she ripped off the tower and threw it at the roach. JHC shattered the bell tower with his fist, and kept coming. "Ohno," she said before the roach hit her under the sternum. Aerianne fell to her knees, gasping. Everything that she had done against the SuperLizard had failed, in one way or another. No matter how effective it had seemed at the time, it only delayed him, stalled him; the lizard had proved impervious to physical assaults. Her armor had only prolonged the inevitable; there could 'be only one', and that one wasn't her. As if the lizard knew what she was thinking, he laughed a Kurganesque laugh, and punted her into the center of the Quad. She hit the stone in the center with a sickening crunch as her helmet bowl shattered, leaving only the framework. "Now you die," JHC said as he hovered over her, cracking his 28 knuckles. <<>> Philip's LEGO Runabout screamed over the Atlantic Ocean towards Massachusetts. He had very little time. He had no idea how long he had been away from the battle, and every second he was gone... he didn't want to think about it. His cameras locked onto Worcester as he flew over the state border at over Mach 4. They zoomed, locked, and adjusted automatically as he approached. His eyes widened. "No," he whispered, despair and anger building within him. His glasses gave him the stereo image of SuperLizard, hovering over Aerianne, about to deliver the killing punch. "HEADS!" he screamed over the tac net as his armor shifted to protect him. He did the only thing he could do. He aimed the Runabout, rammed the "throttles" to full, and prayed that God would forgive him for what he was about to do. It is important at this time to note what it is meant when a theatre person yells "Heads." It is a warning to the people below the speaker that something has just accidentally fallen, and that they should be careful and move. Depending on the inflection and intensity of the word, it can mean anything from 'Oops, watch out for that tape measure that just fell.' to 'THE SET IS FALLING OUT OF THE FLYS! RUN!'. In this case, Philip was using the latter version. Aerianne, even though she was on the edge of unconsciousness, heard the word over the radio; and being a theatre person, she reacted. Her jets flared to life one last time, propelling her away from the suddenly confused roach. "Where the hell are you going?" JHC yelled as Aerianne scooted away, but then he stopped as he heard a noise. "Huh?" The Lizard looked up in time to see a Federation Runabout up close and personal. The impact was, shall we say, _dramatic_, as the Runabout plowed into the ground almost dead on the Lizard's head. Pieces of LEGO flew everywhere as the ship caved in on itself as it continued it's journey into the ground. A very nice and compact crater was created in the center of the Quad as the LEGOs finally gave up their momentum to the earth. The three human males pulled themselves out of where they were observing near the Wedge, and made their way to Aerianne's side. Rufus knelt to check on Aerianne's vital signs. "She's alive, but she still needs medical attention. We need to get her to a hospital..." "Understood," replied Gordo grimly as he and Trevor moved to pick her up. But they were interrupted as a sound came from the LEGO pile. They turned to look. The SuperLizard, battered, but unbowed, extracted himself from the wreckage, and moved towards the group. "Ladies and Gentlemen," announced Trevor with more than a measure of controlled calm, "'Timex' is back..." Rufus looked at Trevor with a look of uncomprehension. "'Timex'?" Trevor fixed Rufus with his gaze and replied, "Takes a licking... and keeps on ticking." Rufus knew that gaze. It still managed to spook him. 43) --- Lego Maniac --------------------------------------------------- "...there is virtually nothing in the world that cannot be reproduced in LEGO bricks, if only you try hard enough (and have a LEGO factory at your disposal)." -- Henry Wiencek "Hmph," said the lizard as he surveyed the crash site. "I was wrong. The Geek _wasn't_ a wimp. But he was still a Geek." He turned to deal with Trevor, Gordo, and Rufus, who were trying to get Aerianne to safety. But as he moved to attack, a voice said, "Why, _Jesus_... I never thought you would be be the one to forget..." "Who said that?!" yelled JHC as he spun towards the voice. All that was behind him was the mass of LEGO bricks that was all that was left of the Runabout. Was there a bit of movement in the pile? The Superlizard floated forward to investigate, as the voice continued. "...that there is more than meets the eye?" And before the lizard could react, an arm made out of LEGO pieces flew towards him and gave him a mighty backhand. "WWHHHAAAATTTT???!!!!" screamed the lizard as he flew backwards once again, impacting several walls until being stopped by another. Shaking his head, he extracted himself. "SHOW YOURSELF!!" he bellowed towards his unseen assailant. "Ok... I will..." And before SuperLizard's eyes (and several others), the hill of LEGOs coalesced, shifted, and extended itself with the sound of hundreds of thousands of LEGOs clicking together and apart, of gears meshing together, of electrical units forming connections. Ironically enough, the combined sound almost sounded like the buzz-crunch from 'The Transformers', but instead of pieces flexing, folding, and shifting, the LEGOs flowed in a manner more similar to that out of 'Terminator 2'. And as the transformation finished, it settled on a humanoid form. One that was familiar to some of the people there. <<>> "Goddess," Zoner managed to say. This was _not_ happening. "Hm... a Griffin.. it's a pity Gryphon isn't here to see this," stated Vaughn. Zoner just nodded. Yes, it _did_ bear a striking resemblance to a Griffin battlemech. Well, except for the fact that it was full-sized. And seemed to have a few more weapons than the GriffinMech did. And a _lot_ more armor. And that it was built out of LEGOs. And that Griffins don't usually have large hammers instead of hands. Other than that, it was almost an exact duplicate-- a 20 ft. tall duplicate, yes-- but a copy nonetheless. Zoner had a fleeting thought of yelling "Copyright Infringement!" but let it pass. One doesn't _worry_ about literary rights when one's life is at stake. "Ok, lizard... Let's try for round TWO." Philip rushed the lizard at full speed, feet tearing up the ground at a terrible pace. JHC stood his ground, and as Philip swung, intending to pulp the lizard under one of his hammer-arms, he dodged, leaving Philip to create a nice hole in the pavement. "Come back here!" he yelled as he continued to swing, trying to connect. The lizard just dodged, and stuck out his tounge. "YerrRAUGH!" Philip roared as he tried to hit the lizard again, missing and pounding an asphalt crater. Philip and the lizard faced each other like two Sumo wrestlers at the beginning of a match. Now, granted, one of the wrestlers was twenty feet tall, and the other only six inches, but the Corps recalled the words of Yoda: "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?" Philip, still half-blinded as he was by rage, stepped forward to make the first attack. Bad idea. Philip's attack came in the form of a forward step, which he planned to follow with a downward strike. Unfortunately, he never quite got that far. The lizard grabbed his leg and managed to pick up Philip and toss him over a row of trees. Philip managed to make a not-quite-graceful landing in the baseball field. "Oy," the lizard mock-sympathized, "that's GOTTA hurt!" Philip was in no condition to disagree with him. Philip chastised himself.