Vital Statistics

Name: Gadaiyio Takeimienei (but it's pronounced "Derek Bacon")
Birth date: 26 June 1971
Hair: Brown Eyes: Blue
Height: 6 feet 6 inches Weight: approx. 385 lbs.
Known Aliases: lightnin, [Sublieutenant] Toozday


Derek works as a Technical Support Operator at Ultranet Communications, Inc., an Internet Service Provider in Central Massachusetts. He has worked in this since May of 1994, working at Leading Edge Products before moving to Ultranet. Before that, he was a student at Worcester Polytechnic Institute, which is where he got his first exposure to the Internet. This was back in 1989. Yes, kids, this predates the World Wide Web.

Derek is a founding member of GweepCo, which sounds impressive, but when you get right down to it, isn't really. As a member of GweepCo, however, he was one of the moving forces behind the formation of GweepNet, the GweepCo Cooperative Network. This is, in his opinion, a much more impressive credential, as he views GweepNet as something worthwhile, whereas GweepCo is mostly just a joke.


Derek spent most of his childhood growing up in Wilmington, MA. A suburb about 20 miles north of Boston, the state capital. It was here that Derek discovered one of his loves, computers. Although he did not have a computer of his own (not counting the Atari 2600 game system), he managed to get access to several computers that he could try out his newly developing programming skills on. He even managed to join the High School's computer club while he was still in 5th grade.

Derek also played the trombone for a brief period during his childhood. He started in the 3rd grade, and dropped it in the 6th grade, because he felt he was doing too much at once. Since the musical instrument was the least important to him, he dropped that--a decision he regrets to this day.


Following his 7th grade year, Derek's family moved to Limington, ME. The five years that Derek spent at Bonny Eagle High School were largely uneventful, although it was during these years that his current "wackmobile" personality began to develop. Below, are some of the highlights of Derek's high school years. (Kind of like a resume, 'cept different. -GT.)
Pi-Cone Math Team
Pretty much your standard geek fair. Competitors gather together once a month to do math problems on a time limit, the highest scoring team wins. The problems were often on topics not covered in "normal" math classes, and usually involved looking at the problem in a unique way, or knowing "short cuts" through standard math formula. (formulae, formulas, what's the plural there? -GT.) Bonny Eagle's team scored respectably, but were never serious contenders for top prizes. This was mostly due to their rather small team, requiring that everyone do a little of everything, rather than having specialists in different topics of mathematics.
Junior Achievement
The Junior Achievement program pairs high school students with a willingness to learn about business, with local businessmen with a willingness to teach. Students form companies and go through the whole process of forming a company, from selling stock, coming up with a product, manufacturing and selling that product, and releasing dividends. Derek was involved with Junior Achievement for three years, and every year that he was involved, his company was extremely profitable. He gave up when the bureaucratic politics at the higher levels of the JA organization in his area became unbearable.
Varsity Track Team
For three years, Derek was a member of the "weight team" of his high school track team. This meant that he participated in the "weight" events (shot put and discus). He wasn't very good. In fact, he really only joined because he'd read that MIT liked well-rounded applicants, and since that was where he wanted to go, he went out for track.
One of the reasons many of Derek's activities stopped after three years was that his senior year he had a role (well, three roles actually) in the spring play. The play: The Apple Tree. Three plays in one. In the first play, "The Diary of Adam and Eve" Derek played the voice of God. In the second, "The Lady or the Tiger" he played the role of King Arik, and in the third, "Passionella" he was the voice of the Television set (as well as one of several extras in the crowd scenes).
His high school career wasn't limited to these activities. He made an unsuccessful campaign for Junior Class Treasurer with the campaign slogan, Vote for Derek Bacon. He is the student body. In his senior year, he participated in the school's Christmas Talent Show, doing a lip-synch routine to the song, "Fat" by Weird Al Yankovic. Also during his senior year, he actively campaigned for the position of "Class Couple" but he lost out. Derek takes his satisfaction from the fact that the elected Class Couple broke up a few months after graduation, while he is still together.

Current Projects

Campaign Ought-Eight
In the year 2008, Derek will be 37 years old. However, if things continue to progress the way they have for him so far, he will still have the heart and soul of a 20-year old. There are some things that make 2008 special. Yes, it's a leap year. Yes, it's also an election year. However, most importantly, it is the first election year that Derek will be eligible to win the Presidential Election. Derek intends to win this election, but why bring it up now? Derek won't be joining any other party, no sir! Derek is starting his own political party, and knowing how difficult it can be to get a grass-roots campaign going, he's starting now. Follow the link to see his platform.

Internet Beginner's Guide

This is a guide to how to use many of the more commonly used PC applications for connecting to the Internet through a PPP connection. He is producing this document primarily for the use of his ISP - Ultranet, but you're welcome to get whatever use out of it you can.

Ed. Note: I don't know what's become of this document; I suspect it's become one of UltraNet's customers-only support docs. Sorry. --G.

Derek Bacon