**************************************************************************** .:,.... TENCHI ,:; ::::::::::::;' . . ,;;::::::::; ```::::```' :: .. :: ;;'. .. .. .;, ...::::.... `::::::: ::,;;;;; ,' ;: :: :: :;' ::::::::;;;; :: ;;;;':: :: ................. .. :::. :; :: :: :: ````````````````` ;;; .::;`:. `::;;:; ::,`' ;; ,;' ;; :: `:. ;;:......, ;;; .:::' `:::. `~ `:::,..; ` '' :: `:: ;;''::''';: ;;' ::' `::::... ```' ,;,,,::,,,;; ;; ```::::::....., MUYO! ,;;',,,;;,,,:, `' ```````` :; ;; ;; ;' ,;;' ' "Star of Jurai" an Audio Drama by Ryan Mathews PART 1 of 2 **************************************************************************** SASAMI (narrating) Hello, everyone! Welcome to "Star of Jurai"! I'm Sasami, and I'll be the one telling the story! Let's see, how should I start? I know! First, I'll tell you something about myself! I'm a princess from the planet Jurai, but I live with my big sister Aeka and lots of friends at the home of Tenchi Masaki, a boy from a place called Japan. How we all got together is a really neat story, but it's not the one I'm supposed to tell you, so I'll tell it real quick. See, Tenchi let this demon out of its cage by accident, only the demon turned out to be a girl named Ryoko, and she wasn't a really a demon, she was a space pirate! Aeka and I were looking for our big brother Youshou, who was supposed to have married Aeka but disappeared seven hundred years ago while fighting Ryoko. So when we found Ryoko we tried to capture her, so she'd tell us where Youshou was. Well, Ryoko didn't know anything! And then we had this big space fight, and both our ships crashed. Tenchi was really nice and let us live with him. Then a police officer named Mihoshi showed up, looking for a criminal named Kagato, and she crashed too! Finally Kagato came. He said Ryoko belonged to him and kidnapped her! He wanted the secret of Tsunami, Jurai's most powerful ship, but we all fought him together and destroyed him! That was when we met Washu, a genius scientist Kagato had captured two thousand years ago! We found out that Youshou was Tenchi's grandfather. He'd gotten old because he wasn't living on Jurai anymore, so he couldn't marry Aeka. That means Tenchi will be the next emperor of Jurai someday! Things are pretty quiet now. We're all happy living together with Tenchi. Well, most of the time. See, Ryoko and Aeka both want to be Tenchi's girlfriend, and they fight a lot. Sometimes it causes big problems. For example, one time we all went to the beach... [SouND: Waves, seagulls, people.] SASAMI Aeka? You don't look like you're having fun. AEKA I'm fine, Sasami. SASAMI But you're wrapped from head to toe! Don't you want to play in the sun? AEKA And expose my beautiful skin to all that radiation? No, thank you. SASAMI But... AEKA When you get to be my age, you have to take good care of your looks! You'll understand someday. SASAMI But all you have to do is put some suntan oil on your skin. AEKA Suntan oil? Let me see that... [Pause.] Is that what that couple over there is doing? SASAMI Huh? Oh, yeah! She can't reach her back, so he's putting some on for her. AEKA It looks so... romantic. SASAMI You want me to put some on for you? AEKA [giggles] No. I have a *much* better idea. [SND: Electronic beeps on top of the beach noises.] WASHU Fascinating! Do you that this sand is almost all silicates? Seems a shame to waste it by lying around on top of it. TENCHI I, uh, really hadn't given it much thought. WASHU Still, I gotta admit, it sure feels good squishing it between your toes! Say, Tenchi! You haven't said how you like my bikini! TENCHI (nervous) Uh, it's really nice, Washu. WASHU You think so?! It's actually painted on! It's this new molecule-thin fabric I've been working on. Here, feel it! TENCHI Heh, heh. That's okay! WASHU Oh, don't be shy! It's just scientific curiosity! It's healthy! MIHOSHI Hi, Tenchi! TENCHI (relieved) Oh, hi, Mihoshi! How's the water? MIHOSHI It's great! I especially liked talking to the fish! TENCHI Talking... to the fish? WASHU (skeptical) What did they say? MIHOSHI Well, I don't know really, but they were opening and closing their mouths a lot, so I figured they were talking to me. I just have to learn the language! WASHU (sarcastic) Well, good luck. AEKA Tenchi! TENCHI What's up, Aeka? AEKA Mihoshi, I couldn't help but overhear how you were talking to the fish. Why don't you show Washu! I'm sure her scientific mind could figure out their language in no time! MIHOSHI Why, that's a GREAT idea! C'mon, Washu! WASHU Uh, gee, I really don't know, I mean I'm still analyzing the sand-- MIHOSHI Oh, this is much more exciting! C'mon! WASHU (fading into the distance) No, wait! This is sensitive scientific equipment! MIHOSHI (fading) Leave it behind! C'mon, into the water! WASHU (fading) I can't swim!! [SND: Splash in the distance.] AEKA Tenchi, could you help me? TENCHI Sure, what you need? AEKA I need to put this suntan oil on, but I can't reach my back. Could you help me? TENCHI Oh, sure. [SND: Rustle as Aeka lies down.] AEKA Thanks, Tenchi. TENCHI Like this? AEKA Mmm, yes, thank you. [pause] If the strap's in the way, you can undo it. TENCHI (gulp) [SND: Ryoko teleports. Tenchi and Aeka yelp in surprise.] RYOKO Hiya, Tenchi! Whatcha doin'! TENCHI Ryoko! I told you not to teleport in public! RYOKO Oh, relax! Nobody saw. Well, well! What *are* we up to? AEKA None of your business! RYOKO Giving the princess a little backrub are we? Me next! AEKA You don't need suntan oil! You can fly through a star! RYOKO Who said anything about oil? AEKA (feigning interest) Is that a surfboard you're carrying, Ryoko? RYOKO Sure is. AEKA Then why don't you go surf! RYOKO (annoyed) I'm planning to! (brightly) Say, Tenchi, wanna hang a little ten with me? AEKA Tenchi is *busy*! RYOKO FINE!! [SND: Ryoko teleports.] TENCHI Wait! Ryoko!! AEKA Um... Ouch! Ouch! My back's getting sunburned! Please hurry, Tenchi! TENCHI Oh! Sorry, Aeka. AEKA Ahh... Thank you, Tenchi. That's much better. It's so kind of you to do this for me... [SND: A roar that slowly grows louder, followed by distant sounds of panic.] VOICE Tsunami! TENCHI Tsunami? Where? AEKA I don't see her anywhere... [SND: The roar continues to grow.] TENCHI Wait a minute. How do they know about Tsunam-- whuh whuh WAAAAAAAHHHHH!! TSUNAMIIIIII!!! AEKA Where? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! [SND: The roar is near-deafening.] RYOKO HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! SURF'S UP!!! [SND: Screaming, the crash of an enormous wave. The noise fades.] AEKA (cough cough) I've never been so soaked in all my life. RYOKO Serves you right for being so stubborn. TENCHI (annoyed) What about the other people, Ryoko? Someone could've gotten hurt! RYOKO Give me some credit. I used my power to weaken the wave. They just got a little wet, that's all! SASAMI All our stuff was washed away! WASHU Mihoshi and I were in the water! You nearly hurled us into the parking lot! RYOKO With your power? Get real! Besides, Mihoshi's too stupid to get hurt. MIHOSHI (near tears) How... How could you say something like that?! TENCHI (angry) eeerrrrrgg--That's IT!! Ryoko, I have HAD IT with your selfishness! You apologize to Mihoshi right now! And to the rest of us, too, while you're at it! RYOKO Tenchi? TENCHI I mean it!! [pause] RYOKO I... I don't have to take this. [SND: Ryoko teleports.] TENCHI (sigh) I didn't think she would. AEKA That was wonderful, Tenchi! It's about time you told off that monster- woman! TENCHI (snapping) You're just as bad!! AEKA W-what? TENCHI If you hadn't been so rude to her today, she might not have done anything! You're always provoking her!! AEKA Tenchi... TENCHI Here comes the bus. Let's go home. [SND: Inside the bus as it leaves.] SASAMI Um, Tenchi? TENCHI (annoyed) What is it?! SASAMI Um... TENCHI Oh, I'm sorry Sasami, I didn't mean to snap at you. SASAMI That's okay-- TENCHI This has just been another tough day. SASAMI I understand, I-- TENCHI This happens every time we go somewhere together. SASAMI But-- TENCHI Can't they get along for just one afternoon? SASAMI I just-- TENCHI I guess it's my fault. SASAMI Tenchi? TENCHI I should tell them that they're both important, that they don't need to compete. SASAMI Tenchi! TENCHI I'm sorry, Sasami, what were you saying? SASAMI Aeka didn't get on the bus with us! TENCHI WHAT?! Oh, no! Driver! DRIVER! DRIVER Yeah? TENCHI You've gotta turn this bus around! DRIVER Sorry, no can do. TENCHI Then let us off! We'll walk back and catch the next one. DRIVER Ain't no next one. TENCHI AUUUGGH! (sigh) SASAMI What are we gonna do, Tenchi? TENCHI I guess we'll just have to ask my dad to drive us back and pick her up. [SND: Bus sounds fade.] TENCHI What do you mean, "The car's not working"?!!! FATHER Now, now, Tenchi, it's a just a small problem. I'll have it fixed in no time! GRANDFATHER What your father means by that is that the engine has been taken apart and is currently strewn all over the garage. FATHER Uh, heh-heh. Well, after my last tune-up, I had a part left over. Just trying to figure out where it went! GRANDFATHER That part was from the lawnmower. FATHER I know that now... TENCHI C'mon, I'll help you put it back together. Poor Aeka. It's starting to get dark. [SND: Night sounds: crickets, frogs, or whatever equivalent they have in Japan. :-)] AEKA Tenchi... [pause] Tenchi's right. I do provoke Ryoko too much. [pause] OOOOOH, but I can't help it! That nasty monster-woman! Always trying to get her paws on Tenchi, to have SEX with him! Ughk! The very thought revolts me! Well, I'm not going to let it happen, do you understand! If Tenchi's going to lose his virginity, he's going to lose it to ME! [pause] Um, that's not what I meant. I mean that, that... OH! Listen to me, talking to myself like a crazy woman! [pause] Oh, why didn't I get on that bus? It's dark, it's getting cold, and it's scary out here. [pause] I'm being silly. What is there to be scared of? [SND: Hummmmmm-buzz-WHOOSH!] AEKA AAAH! [pause] Ha.. Ha... Who's there?! [pause] It came from somewhere in those trees... [SND: Rustle of leaves and branches.] AEKA Excuse me, is someone there? [pause] I, uh, need transportation. I can pay you. VOICE You don't need to pay! AEKA AAAAAAAAHHH!! [SND: Running through the woods.] AAH! AAH!! AAH! Whoa! Oof! [SND: Aeka falls, crunch of leaves and sticks.] Ouch! W-whatever you're thinking of don't do it! I may look like a defenseless young woman, but I'm a royal princess of Jurai, and I've been trained-- VOICE Why would I want to hurt you, Aeka? AEKA You... know who I am? VOICE Don't you recognize me? [pause] AEKA Joran? VOICE That's me! AEKA (overjoyed) JORAN!! [Joyful laughter.] [SND: Clinks of metal.] TENCHI This is hopeless! We'll never get this back together. FATHER Sure we will! Now, this doohickey goes on this thingamabob. No it doesn't. Maybe on this watchamacallit? Nope, not there either. Hmm... TENCHI Ohhhhhh... WASHU Ahem! Mind if I help? TENCHI Washu? FATHER What would a little girl like you know about automobile engines? WASHU Are you kidding? Primitive engines have always fascinated me! I'd love to have a go at one! TENCHI Uh, I don't know, Dad... FATHER What have we got to lose? Sure, you can help! WASHU (giggles) [SND: Night sounds.] AEKA Joran, what's happened to you? You've gotten so... tall! JORAN You were in stasis for seven hundred years, Aeka. I wasn't. I grew up. AEKA Oh. That's right. How silly of me. I suppose a lot of things have changed since I left. JORAN Many things have. That's one of the reasons Father and I came out to see you. AEKA Uncle Anshou? He's here too? JORAN Mm-hmm. AEKA All of a sudden, I feel so homesick. Look at you! You always were a handsome boy, but I had no idea you'd grow up to be such... JORAN A hunk? [Both laugh.] It came as a surprise to me, too. It seemed to happen overnight. All of sudden, I was getting attention from all the girls in school, including those who wouldn't have given me the time of day the year before. I didn't quite know how to take it. AEKA (teasing) Oh, it must have been so hard on you. JORAN (laughs) I got used to it. So how about you? What's it like, living on Earth? AEKA I love it here. I know you think it's a primitive planet, but it's beautiful, almost like Jurai. The natives are friendly, most of the time, anyway, and I live together with a lot of good friends. It's like having another family. JORAN Then why were you standing out here in the dark, all by yourself? AEKA Um... uh... [pause] It's... a long story. JORAN Okay. Why don't we go back to Sujahoh and talk about it? AEKA Is that your ship? It's nearby? JORAN It's in orbit. AEKA Then how did you get down here? JORAN I told you, a lot of things have changed. Take my hand. [SND: Hummmmmm-buzz-WHOOSH!] FATHER Thanks for all your help, little Washu! You certainly are good with tools! WASHU Why, it was nothing! TENCHI Dad and I are going to pick up Aeka. We'll back in no time. WASHU (under her breath) Heh. You can say that again. TENCHI What did you say? WASHU Oh, nothing! Have fun, you two! [SND: Engine starts. It sounds... weird.] FATHER Hmm. Engine sounds a little rough. I'd better take it easy when I step on the-- [SND: SHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!] TENCHI & FATHER (fading) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WASHU Yahoo! Am I the Hot Rod Queen, or what? MIHOSHI Um, you know, the speed limit here is only 80 kilometers per hour... WASHU Hey, no prob! Cops gotta catch 'em first, right? [SND: Background - low, pleasant thrum.] AEKA Is this... the ship? JORAN Welcome aboard! AEKA But how did we get here? JORAN An interdimensional transporter. We've only had it for ten years. AEKA The ship... it's beautiful. JORAN Think so? She's a little young, only five years out of the nursery, but she's a fast learner. C'mon, I'll show you around. [SND: Door opens and closes. Footsteps.] AEKA So, did you receive my report? JORAN Oh, yes! It's the talk of Jurai! Especially this "Lord Tenchi" you mentioned. Everyone wants to meet him. AEKA Well, perhaps I could introduce you. JORAN That would be wonderful. Oh, and I wanted to express my sincere condolences about Youshou. It must have been so hard to have searched for so long, only to find he'd passed away centuries ago. AEKA Thank you, Joran. But it's alright. He died content, surrounded by his family. In the end, that's all you can ask for, I suppose. [Pause.] Sujahoh's lovely, Joran. Her foilage reminds me of my Ryuuoh. JORAN Ryuuoh? Was she destroyed? AEKA Yes. But a seed survived. I'm regrowing her. JORAN Wonderful! Then you'll be returning home? AEKA Well, I... I don't know, really. I like it on Earth. JORAN Not even to visit? AEKA Well, of course I could visit. I think. Maybe... Oh, dear! My family doesn't think I'm avoiding them, do they? JORAN Well, quite frankly, we don't know really know what to think. AEKA Oh... [Pause.] JORAN Aeka, don't be upset, but I have to say this. You had us worried sick. I mean, you were in stasis for seven hundred years. That may not be as long to us as it is to your human friends, but it's not exactly a tick of the clock, either. If you'd have let us known how you were every century or so-- AEKA Oh, Joran, I'm so sorry! You must understand, Youshou's disappearance had me so upset. I didn't know what else to do! JORAN I know, Aeka. And I'm not angry or anything. I'm just trying to explain how it's complicating matters. AEKA What do you mean, "complicating"? JORAN A lot of things are changing back home. Your father has decided to stop taking the Water of Life. AEKA Oh... [Pause.] Well, every ruler has to make that decision someday. I wish I'd been there. JORAN He's strong and healthy. He should live another five hundred years at least. But it brings into question the line of succession. There are still those who aren't wild about bringing Earth blood into the royal family. They're using your long isolation as an excuse to question your fitness to ascend the throne. AEKA Racists. JORAN Your taking Sasami along messed things up even worse. As a last resort, she could have been named successor. That would at least keep the throne within the family. But since she was in stasis as well, she's still a small child. As it stands now, there is great pressure on the Emperor to name a successor from another house. AEKA Meddlesome aristocrats. It makes me wonder if I want to be empress. What does Father wish me to do? JORAN He'd like you to come back with us and marry Lord Tenchi, with full ceremony, in the Imperial Palace. It would be a sign to all of them that he has no intention of naming another successor. AEKA (embarassed) Ummm.... JORAN You'd live at home, in the palace. It would give you the opportunity to demonstrate to the Noble Court that you're not a child, that you're fit to be empress. And it would give everyone a chance to meet Tenchi. It's the mystery surrounding him that's the biggest problem. I'm sure once we knew him, all the objections would disappear. AEKA There... might be a problem. JORAN What kind of problem? AEKA Well, you see, Tenchi and I... we're not officially engaged. [Stunned silence.] JORAN You mean, he hasn't proposed?! AEKA Well, um, it's, um, rather complicated... JORAN What's complicated about it? You're Crown Princess! He's Crown Prince! You have to marry! AEKA B-but I don't want to force anything on him! ANSHOU What's going on here? JORAN Father. AEKA Uncle Anshou! ANSHOU You've been talking business, haven't you? Before I even had a chance to say hello! JORAN Sorry, Father. ANSHOU Little Aeka! How lovely you look! Do you have a hug for your old Uncle? [Aeka laughs.] ANSHOU Now, let's go sit down. We'll have some tea, we'll talk about old times, *then* we'll discuss business. AEKA That sounds lovely. Oh! I nearly forgot. My friends! They'll be worried! ANSHOU Don't worry. I left them a message. [SND: Night sounds.] [SND: An engine fades in.] TENCHI & FATHER (fading in) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-OOF! FATHER Well, we're here. TENCHI Thank god. I thought I was gonna die! FATHER So I overshot the mark a little. It wasn't all bad. We got to see the Tokyo Tower! TENCHI I think that was the Eiffel Tower, dad. FATHER Whatever. Where's Aeka? TENCHI I don't see her. Oh, I hope nothing happened to her! FATHER Hmm. Looks like someone ran into the woods here. TENCHI Why would she go in there? FATHER I dunno. Let's go see. [SND: Rustle of leaves and branches.] TENCHI AEKA!!! FATHER AEKA!!! TENCHI Wait, what's this? Let me have the flashlight. FATHER Looks like a piece of clothing. TENCHI It's a piece of Aeka's dress! She would have to have been running for it to tear off like that. FATHER I found something else. TENCHI Aeka wasn't wearing anything like that. It looks like a military emblem. [SND: Night sounds fade.] GRANDFATHER Hmmmm... TENCHI Do you recognize it? GRANDFATHER I'm not sure. It's badly torn. Let me check the book. MIHOSHI Is Aeka in trouble? [SND: Ryoko teleports.] RYOKO TENCHI!!! TENCHI Get off me, Ryoko. RYOKO But I just wanted to say how sorry I was about everything! I'm apologizing! TENCHI (annoyed) It's alright. RYOKO REALLY?! Oh, Tenchi, that's WONDERFUL! Let's kiss and make up! TENCHI Not now! RYOKO But a reconciliation isn't official without a kiss! C'mon, just one little one! TENCHI Ryoko, Aeka's gone! RYOKO I know that! Why do you think I'm getting so aggressive?! TENCHI I mean she's missing! RYOKO Oh. That's different. SASAMI (worried) What did you say? TENCHI N-nothing, Sasami. Go back to bed. SASAMI Has something happened to Aeka? TENCHI We don't know anything. She might have just gotten lost in the woods. GRANDFATHER I'm afraid that symbol belongs to a lifelong enemy of Jurai. SASAMI Oh, no! MIHOSHI That's horrible! WASHUU You ain't kidding! Holding a party without me? TENCHI (sigh) Sit down, everybody. Grandpa, what do you mean, "lifelong enemy"? GRANDFATHER This is the symbol of the Kizakans. Throughout the centuries, Jurai and Kizaka have fought one bloody border war after another. I'd hoped we'd heard the last of them just before I left Jurai, but it appears I was wrong. MIHOSHI Um... TENCHI What do these Kizakans look like? GRANDFATHER No one knows for sure. All the battles were fought ship-to-ship. No one has ever managed to catch more than a fleeting glance. SASAMI I heard they have dark skin, long ears, and sharp pointy fangs! MIHOSHI Um, excuse me... TENCHI Brrr! Sounds scary! MIHOSHI Uh, guys? TENCHI What is it, Mihoshi? MIHOSHI I'm a Kizakan. [SND: Boing!] GRANDFATHER Ahem. It appears I have been away from Jurai for longer than I thought. MIHOSHI Oh, yeah! All that "lifelong enemies" stuff was *ages* ago! We've been friends with Jurai for at least three hundred years! TENCHI That's good to know, but then, how do we explain this? MIHOSHI Well. Hmm. Let me think. If I know my history, and I'm not sure that I do, that's the symbol of the Kizakan Empire, which was overthrown and replaced with a republic. Jurai helped, that's why we're friends now. GRANDFATHER So perhaps forces loyal to the old empire have kidnapped Aeka, to further their cause? MIHOSHI Maybe. TENCHI This is all my fault! If I hadn't snapped at her, none of this would have happened! SASAMI Tenchi... WASHU Lets find out what we're dealing with. Follow me! [SND: Jurai ship sound] KUNUZAKE Your tea, miss. AEKA Thank you, Kunuzake. Mm. My, this is delicious. It's been so long since I had Juraian tea. But shouldn't your guardians be on the bridge? ANSHOU Not necessary. Ashino and Kunuzake can operate the ship from any position, even several kilometers outside the hull. I admit having them serve tea is a bit silly, but I wanted to give them the chance to impress you. AEKA Well, they have indeed. Thank you very much. ASHINO & KUNUZAKE Ma'am! ANSHOU It is *so* good to see you again, Aeka. You can't believe how much we've missed you. Why just the other day, Joran was reminiscing about your favorite spot in the royal redfruit grove. JORAN Father! That's embarrassing. AEKA How many times did we get caught for picking the fruit? JORAN I lost count. ANSHOU It never stopped him, though, no matter what the punishment. It was only after he got sick from eating unripe fruit that he finally stopped. AEKA (giggles) You know, I think the only time I ever really got in trouble is when I was with you. It sure was fun, though. JORAN (joking) Well, I'm glad I gave you something to remember. ANSHOU You know, I'd always hoped the two of you would end up together. JORAN Father, please! I was four years younger than her. ANSHOU One of the benefits of being such a long-lived race is that, eventually, we're all the same age, more or less. But you're right, on reflection, it was silly of me. I want to show you something, Aeka. Here. AEKA What is it? ANSHOU Open it. AEKA It's... beautiful. ANSHOU That, Aeka, is the "Star of Jurai". AEKA Really. My father had told me about it once. It's even bigger than I'd imagined... JORAN It's one of the largest gems of its kind in the universe. ANSHOU More importantly, it symbolizes the bond between my house and yours. I was wondering if you would do me the great honor of wearing it on your wedding day. AEKA Of course I will. How could I refuse my favorite uncle? ANSHOU Thank you, Aeka. This means a lot to me. AEKA Besides, it goes with my eyes, don't you think? [All laugh.] ANSHOU Now, if you'll forgive me, I have some things to tend to on the bridge. I should be back shortly. Ashino, Kunuzake, follow me. [SND: Beeps and buzzes of Washu's lab.] WASHU Right there, see? There is definitely a ship in orbit matching the description of a Kizakan imperial vessel. Problem is, they're under a heavy cloak, so I can't contact them from here. Someone will have to go up there in a ship. Preferably an armed one, if I'm reading these power levels right. TENCHI Is Aeka on board? WASHU I can't tell. TENCHI Well, even if they don't have her, they probably know something. We'd better get up there. RYOKO No prob! We'll go in Ryo-oh-ki! TENCHI Great! The sooner the bet-- RYOKO On *one* condition! TENCHI Um, what condition? RYOKO After we've safely rescued the princess... TENCHI (apprehensive) Yes? RYOKO You give me a kiss! TENCHI Aw, Ryoko! RYOKO Hey, I'm letting you off easy! I could ask you to profess your undying love for me, or better yet, spend a night playing snuggle-bunnies under the sheets! MIHOSHI We could take my ship! I've got, like, guns and stuff too! [Pause.] TENCHI Just one kiss? [SND: Jurai ship, plus extra noises, beeps, chirps, and hums to signify the bridge.] ASHINO A launch has been detected from the planet's surface. ANSHOU Identification? ASHINO It is the pirate ship Ryo-oh-ki. KUNUZAKE Two life-forms are inside. They have been identified as the pirate Ryoko and Prince Tenchi. ANSHOU Yes! Right into my hands. Be patient, Joran. Your father's about to make a small change in the line of succession. JORAN Aeka... I want to apologize for being so short with you before. AEKA Oh, Joran, you don't have to-- JORAN Yes, I do! I had no business speaking to you like that. It was just nerves. I'd been looking forward to meeting you again for so long, but when I did, I didn't know what to say. I mean, I wanted to reminisce about old times, but I... I was too nervous... AEKA Nervous about what? JORAN You know... AEKA No... JORAN Oh, come on. You know I had a crush on you. AEKA Oh... JORAN I mean, I was the little boy, and you were the beautiful older girl. I got into so much trouble trying to impress you. AEKA (laughs) Well, it worked! JORAN And now, here you are, just as young and beautiful as the last time I saw you. [Pause] It's funny. I'm older than you now, but I still feel like the little boy. [SND: A low boom, followed by the rumble of the ship shaking.] AEKA AAH! JORAN What was that?! ANSHOU (speakers) Joran, get Aeka to safety! We're under attack! JORAN Attack?! By whom? ANSHOU No time to explain! Just do as I say! [SND: Ryo-oh-ki] TENCHI Did you have to do that?! RYOKO Aw, that was just a love tap! My way of saying hello! TENCHI But what if they shoot back?! RYOKO Kizakans? Those wimps? Ryo-oh-ki could take out an entire fleet of those losers! Isn't that right, Ryo-oh-ki? RYO-OH-KI MIYA! [SND: Sujahoh bridge] ANSHOU Thank you, miss space pirate. Now I don't even have to an invent an excuse! Ashino! Kunuzake! FIRE!! ASHINO and KUNUZAKE Yes, sir! [SND: Loud energy blast, explosion, rumble] TENCHI AAAAAH! RYOKO DAMMIT! Those are Juraian weapons! Ryo-oh-ki, evasive manuevers!! RYO-OH-KI MIYAA!! ANSHOU Oh, no you don't! Pursue and continue firing! [SND: Two energy blasts, rumble] RYOKO UNH! Damn! How'd they get Juraian weapons? TENCHI Well, Mihoshi did say they were friends! RYOKO Oh, gimme a break! Jurai never shares anything! Ryo-oh-ki!! Turn and attack! NOW!! [SND: Loud rumble as Sujahoh shakes] AEKA AAA-OOF! JORAN Are you alright? AEKA Yes, I'm-- Oh, NO! That's Ryo-oh-ki out there! JORAN Ree-oh-what? AEKA The ship! I know it! Oh, Ryoko, do you hate me that much?! JORAN You know that ship? AEKA It belongs to a... rival of mine. Well, this time I'm putting a stop to it! If she wants an apology, she'll get one! I'll show Tenchi which of us is the mature one! Joran, put me in contact with that ship! JORAN I don't know if that's possible. TENCHI You got 'em good that time! RYOKO Yeah, but I took worse than I got! [SND: Explosion, ship shakes] RYOKO How ya doin', Ryo-oh-ki? RYO-OH-KI Miyeeew... RYOKO That bad, huh? TENCHI Aren't you used to fighting Juraian ships? RYOKO No, I'm used to running from them! Only an idiot fights one! [SND: Explosion, ship shakes] RYOKO and TENCHI AAAAHH! ANSHOU HA HA HAAAA!! Just a few more good shots should do it! Don't let up! [SND: Energy blast, explosion, Ryo-oh-ki shakes] RYOKO That's it! We're done for! We've gotta get out of here! TENCHI But Aeka--! RYOKO We'll be destroyed if we stick around! TENCHI I'm not leaving without Aeka!! RYOKO Dammit, Tenchi-- Wait! There's one last chance! Ryo-oh-ki! Head for the Earth's moon! As fast as you can!! RYO-OH-KI MIYA!!! ANSHOU Well, this is interesting. Pursue! JORAN (speakers) Father? This is Joran. ANSHOU What is it, Joran? I'm rather busy. JORAN (speakers) I understand, Father. But Aeka believes she can halt the pirate ship's attack, if only she can be put in contact with it. ANSHOU Really? Unfortunately, the communication system was damaged in the attack. [SND: Sujahoh, no bridge noises] JORAN I see. Sorry to have bothered you, Father. AEKA There must be some way to contact Ryoko. JORAN Of course! I've got a portable comm terminal. Stay here, I'll bring it. TENCHI Wow. I never thought I'd ever be this close to the Moon. RYOKO We're gonna get a lot closer. TENCHI Uh, w-what are you planning? RYOKO Just hang on to something sturdy. TENCHI (gulp) ANSHOU So, they're going to hide behind the planet's moon. How pathetic. Ashino! Kunuzake! Take us around the moon, on an opposite vector. We'll meet them on the other side. TENCHI (nervously) We're getting awfully close. RYOKO Ryo-oh-ki, are you ready? RYO-OH-KI MIYA!! RYOKO GO!! [SND: Engines fire full power] TENCHI AAAAAAAAHHHHH!! RYOKO HANG ON!! TENCHI WE'RE GONNA CRASH!! RYOKO (straining) NO... WE'RE NOT! WE'RE JUST GOING TO... [SND: sssssSSSSSSSHHHHHHHOOOOOMMM!] SLINGSHOT!! ANSHOU I don't get this... Where are they? Where-- MY GOD!! EVASIVE MANUEVERS!! EVASIVE--!! RYOKO FIRE!!!! [SND: Massive firing, explosions, rumbles.] ANSHOU RETURN FIRE!! ASHINO Weapons offline! ANSHOU No... RYOKO HAHAHAHAAA!! YES! YES!! KICKED IT'S *ASS*!! TENCHI Great! Let's get Aeka out of there! RYOKO No prob! Oh, look! They want to surrender. [SND: Bee-boop!] This Ryoko, Space Pirate Supreme! You will hand over the Princess Aeka at once, or face the conseque-- Huh? Aeka? AEKA (speakers) Ryoko, please stop this senseless attack! I'm sorry I was rude to you! RYOKO What the hell are you talking about? AEKA (speakers) I'm sorry that I was rude to you at the beach. In the future, I'll-- Tenchi? TENCHI Aeka, are you alright? AEKA (speakers) I'm fine. Why did you let Ryoko attack our ship? Is Ryoko threatening you? TENCHI We're trying to rescue you! ANSHOU What is going on? We're helpless as a newborn. Why don't they finish us off? Or at least issue demands. KUNUZAKE Sir, weapons are operational. [pause] ANSHOU Fire. AEKA Rescue me? From what? TENCHI (speakers) Weren't you kidnap--ZZZZAAKKKKZZT! [SND: Tenchi's voice dissolves into static, followed by silence.] AEKA Tenchi? Tenchi? [SND: Massive explosion] ANSHOU HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Blown to PIECES!! AEKA Nuh... Nuh... No. N-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! TENCHI!! TENCHIIIII!!!! SASAMI (narrating) Oh, dear! Is this the end of Tenchi? Has our handsome hero been blown to ashes in the cold vacuum of space? (laughs) Well, of course not, silly! But if you want to find out how he survived, you'll have to tune in to the conclusion of "Star of Jurai". Until then, this is Sasami, signing off! ------ Thanks to Alex Pinachos for the awesome logo-graphic!