------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dirty Pair (and Company) in R E U N I O N S by Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews ------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------- P R O L O G U E --------------- > A.D. 213903.15; 16:02:25 > Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters, Operations Complex [Scene: Operations Director Ayoob, a bald man with one eye replaced by a camera-like device, sits at his desk. The vidphone beeps. A man appears on the other end, sweating profusely.] AYOOB What is it? MAN It's...Subject 101-E, sir. I'm afraid we have a Code 13. We lost her. [Ayoob pales.] AYOOB When did this happen? How? MAN Just after they boarded Lacombe's ship. I'm afraid she'd warped out by the time the cleanup force arrived. We don't have any idea where she went. We're-- [Ayoob angrily cuts him off] AYOOB Details, dammit, give me details! Don't just tell me there's a Code 13! What the hell happened?! MAN We don't know! She just went berserk! The partner's dead, shot through the back. The two rookies are injured, but they'll survive. That's the only reason we even know about this. She tried to cover her tracks by removing LaCombe's corpse and making off in his ship, but the rookies told us what happened. As per the standing orders regarding Code 13, the partner's brain was placed in cryogenic suspension for transport to Elenore. It should be arriving in two days. [Ayoob thinks.] AYOOB It's just too damn convenient. To suffer a loss of control at the exact moment she could escape. It's almost as if... No, she couldn't possibly have planned a malfunction... MAN Sir? Do you have orders for us? AYOOB No orders. Until you hear otherwise, this never happened. Deirdre was killed by Lacombe, as was Shasti. Follow the guidelines given in the standing orders. That will be all. MAN But...but... AYOOB I said that will be all. MAN But sir, the others and I have been thinking, what if she tries to hunt us down? There's no contingency plan for that! AYOOB She won't. We made her too smart for that. Whatever she does, I'm sure it will be much more creative. * * * * * > A.D. 2141xx.xx [Exact time unknown, sometime after the Lyra Disaster of 2141] > Location unknown [Slowly dissolve to a luxurious bedroom on a spaceship. Shasti, asleep in the bed, tosses and turns, as we hear voices from her past...] SHASTI (V-O) So... (hic) I hope y'll wanna be my frien's... okay? KEI (V-O) Shashti, I'll drink t'tha'! YURI (V-O) Me too... frien's, yeah... [Pause.] SHASTI (V-O) I... I really like you, Deirdre... You're the best friend I have right now...maybe the only friend... DEIRDRE (V-O) I like you, too. Like... I think you're the most awesome girl I've ever met! SHASTI (V-O) No matter what happens, we're partners, right? DEIRDRE (V-O) That's right, partner... Buddies to the end! [Suddenly we hear the gunshot that felled Deirdre. Shasti bolts awake.] SHASTI DEIRDRE!!!!!!! (pant pant) [Shasti takes a deep breath. She touches a panel by her bed, illuminating her quarters, and gets out of bed. She looks at herself in a mirror, disgusted.] Weak. So damn WEAK! Sometimes you really make me sick. [A knocking is heard at the bedroom door. Shasti looks around.] SHASTI Who is it? PAUL It's Paul. Are you alright in there? I heard screaming. SHASTI I'm fine. It's... It was just a bad dream, that's all. [Paul opens the door a crack and peeks in.] PAUL Mind if I come in? SHASTI [tired] No. No, go right ahead. PAUL What's this about a bad dream? I didn't even know you *had* dreams. SHASTI Oh, I have them alright. Very vivid ones. PAUL Anything you want to talk about? SHASTI No. Don't worry about me. It's probably just a side-effect of the healing process. PAUL Well, then it's probably a good sign. You're bouncing back fast, you know. Thirty-eight seconds in unprotected vacuum would have any of us out for weeks, if we hadn't died already from an embolism. SHASTI I always bounce back fast, Paul. It's the story of my life. PAUL Well, as long as you're okay. [Shasti is silent, Paul turns to leave.] SHASTI Paul... PAUL Mm? SHASTI Have you ever... well, have you ever betrayed a friend? PAUL What kind of question is that? SHASTI Never mind. PAUL Shasti, I don't make friends. I never have, you know that. Friends are suicide in this business. They screw up your judgement. SHASTI I wasn't always in this business, Paul. I used to be on the side of the angels. PAUL [semi-sarcastic] And you had lots of friends? SHASTI No. One. Sort of. She helped me when no one else would. She helped me to survive. I wouldn't have made it without her. PAUL If I remember this story right, babe, you *didn't* make it. SHASTI No. But... but that wasn't her fault. It-- Oh, why am I carrying on like this? I don't even remember what she looked like, except in my enhanced memory. I don't remember what it was like to have her as a friend-- [Shasti begins to shiver] No, that's not true. I remember every goddamn MORNING and then I wake up screaming and--OH GOD I KILLED HER!! I JUST BLEW HER AWAY!! [Shasti begins sobbing hysterically, then stops as her warrior personality takes over. Paul swallows and takes a step back.] SHASTI WEAK! YOU ARE SO...FUCKING...WEAK!!!! [She throws a vicious punch at the mirror, smashing it into pieces. She is immediately calm once more, and examines a cut on her finger.] Oh, my. Look at that. I cut myself. I better calm down, huh? [Paul waits a moment to be certain the storm is over, then approaches Shasti, tentatively.] PAUL Shasti, listen to me. What's done is done. You can't change the past. Whatever it was you did, I'm sure you think it was pretty horrible. Hell, I've done enough stuff to keep a confession priest occupied for years. But you can't dwell on it, or you won't survive. SHASTI I know, I know. I apologize, Paul. I must seem awfully silly to you right now. PAUL God, Shasti, if there's anything you aren't, it's silly. I just don't understand why all this is coming out now. SHASTI Those two airheads, the redhead and the brunette, the ones who screwed our caper all to hell? They were there when it happened. It's just a matter of connected memories. PAUL Well, if you're feeling better, I'll be going. SHASTI Hey, Paul. [Paul turns around, a trifle annoyed.] PAUL What is it now? SHASTI If you had to kill me to successfully pull off a caper, would you? [Paul smiles.] PAUL Of course. Or at least I'd try. That's the name of the game, honey. You'd do the same, right? SHASTI Don't be silly, of course I would. PAUL See? That's what I love about our relationship. Total honesty. SHASTI [laughs] Total honesty. That's so refreshing. PAUL I'll be going now. [He turns to leave.] SHASTI Paul... PAUL WHAT?!?! SHASTI You could stay here tonight. [He laughs out loud and pounces on her.] * * * * * > A.D. 214204.18; 17:24:00 > Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters [Scene: Kei and Yuri are being debriefed by Goulet. Yuri's taking it pretty well, but Kei's got a bad case of the squirms.] GOULET Let's go through this one more time. You're telling me that Lord Robin never did warp his fleet directly into orbit around a planet? YURI No. He used half-warp. GOULET Explain it one more time. KEI Oh, come on! GOULET KEI!! KEI Alright, alright, alright. Hey, eating and sleeping are highly overrated anyway... [Yuri tries to illustrate with her hands.] YURI The way it was described to me was that the ship warps from one end, but doesn't materialize at the other. It gets interrupted and enters this other dimension, called "mock-space". This lets it travel around like a phantom, unseen, so it can sneak into orbit without the planet knowing it's there. GOULET But they're cut off from the outside universe? YURI Right. GOULET So how do they find their way around? YURI I don't know. GOULET How do they get out of mock-space? YURI I don't know. KEI She doesn't know, okay? Can't you get that through your head? GOULET [annoyed] Kei, do you have any idea what the existence of this technology means? KEI Yeah! It means I get to sit here for hours, starving and bored out of my gourd while you yammer at us! GOULET Damn it, it's the ultimate stealth system! In the long run, what Lord Robin did to the UG would be peanuts compared to what could happen if this system falls into the wrong hands! Think how easy it would be to pull off a robbery with an invisible and intangible escape ship! YURI So what are you going to do about it? GOULET The 3WA will likely decide that it's imperative that they reinvent the technology first, if only to invent a practical defense against it. I'm going to let you two go, but I want you to record everything you remember about the operation, no matter how trivial you may think it was. [Kei yawns.] THAT MEANS YOU TOO, KEI! [Kei groans.] * * * * * > A.D. 2142xx.xx [Exact date unknown] > Planet Alderon [Scene: the filthy bar on Alderon where Kei and Yuri first met Lord Robin. The regulars are still in the bar, but it's not as busy a place as the last time we saw it. There is a tangible air of depression about. The doors swing open and in walks Shasti, looking as gorgeous as always. She saunters up to the bar and sits down, drawing attention from everyone who still cares enough to give it.] BARTENDER We don't often get your class of customer here. What can I get you? SHASTI [smiling] The Songbird Cocktail. [That gets everyone's attention.] BARTENDER Uh, lady, we don't serve that anymore. Only one guy knew the recipe, and he's dead. Sure you wouldn't like something more ordinary? We got some Scotch that's okay if you drink it fast. SHASTI I'd rather have the Songbird Cocktail. If you don't know how to make one, I'd love to have a go at it myself. [People begin to stand up. A large, scarred man walks over to her.] SCARS Look, lady, leave us alone, okay? I don't know what you're looking for, but we can't give it to you. We weren't the elite troops, we were the dregs. We're only here because we don't have anything better to do. SHASTI Why don't you let me be the judge of that? BARTENDER What are you suggesting? You want to lead us? SCARS You're trouble, lady. C'mon, you're leaving. [Scars tries to pick Shasti up off the stool, only to find himself on the floor a second later, nursing a broken arm. Five others run over and try to subdue Shasti, then three more. In less time than it takes to tell, Shasti deals with them all (in various non-lethal but painful ways), tosses her hair back into place and sits down.] SHASTI Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk business. * * * * * > A.D. 214303.1x [Exact date classified] > Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters [Scene: An older Ayoob in conference with the Central Computer. He stands in a domed room with no chairs. Viewscreens show various enhancements of a blurry picture, which shows, from an odd angle, a group of armed people leaving a building.] AYOOB Have you reached a conclusion? CC AFFIRMATIVE. THERE IS A 94.6% CHANCE THAT THE FEMALE DEPICTED AS LEADING THE OPERATION IS SUBJECT 101-E. AYOOB Suggested action? CC SUBJECT 101-E IS TOO DANGEROUS, BOTH TO THE UNITED GALACTICA AND THE WORLDS WELFARE WORK ASSOCIATION. SHE MUST BE EITHER RETRIEVED OR DESTROYED. SUGGESTION: FORM TASK FORCE. TASK FORCE SHOULD CONSIST OF SPECIALISTS IN TACTICS, DEDUCTION, WEAPONRY, AS WELL AS SPECIALISTS IN DEALING WITH SUBJECT 101-E. SUGGEST: ACTIVATE AI CHIP OF PARTNER OF SUBJECT 101-E, AND RETRIEVE PSYCHOLOGIST WHOSE TASK IT WAS TO MONITOR THE MENTAL DEVELOPMENT OF SUBJECT 101-E. AYOOB The psychologist? You mean Fisher? I'm not sure that's a good idea. There was a very good reason why we supressed Shasti's memories of him. CC ANALYSIS COMPLETE. SUGGESTIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN. AYOOB Of course, I should know better than to try to change the mind of a computer. I'll have someone try to look him up. He could be anywhere in the galaxy. End session. CC HAVE A NICE DAY. AYOOB Heh. * * * * * > A.D. 214303.18; 00:03:25 > Damocles Tower [Scene: Yuri is at the door of the apartment she shares with Kei. She has a grocery bag in one hand. With the other, she rings the door buzzer. Getting no answer, she fumbles for her passcard.] YURI [annoyed] Kei, if you're going to send me out for ice cream at this ungodly hour of the night, the least you could do is stay awake to let me in. [She inserts her passcard, and the door slides open. However, the lights do not come on.] YURI Huh? [She feels for the manual switch inside the door. The door closes.] VOICE The lights won't work. Neither will the door. [Yuri freezes.] YURI Who are you? Where's Kei? VOICE You don't recognize my voice? I'm heartbroken. After you sent me to that prison colony for five years, I thought you'd at least do me the courtesy of reserving a few bytes of memory for me in that air bubble you call a brain. [Yuri starts to feel along the wall. She finds what she wants.] As for Kei, she's dead. I broke her spine 35 centimeters above the hip, then disemboweled her as she watched. Don't worry, I'll be far more creative with you. YURI [to herself] Keep talking, asshole. [She opens a small panel behind her back and takes hold of a gun.] I still don't know who you are. If you kill me without letting me know who you are, it makes the revenge kinda worthless doesn't it? VOICE Oh, I'll tell you. I'll tell you after I've broken your-- YURI DIE!!! [Yuri "fires" at the voice. The gun doesn't work.] Oh, shit. VOICE HEIYAAAA! [A dark shape flips through the air, and suddenly someone has Yuri in a choke hold. She struggles, but can't break free.] VOICE You and me, we're gonna have fun. We're gonna party all night. In fact, I feel like partying right now. TURN ON THE LIGHTS! YURI Huh? [The lights come on. Yuri is momentarily blinded, but soon her eyes focus and she sees: Kei and Rumiko standing in front of a huge cake and a pile of presents.] KEI and RUMIKO SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! YURI Wuh-wuh... [She slips out of the now loose choke-hold, and turns around to see Darryn in a black ninja suit.] Darryn? DARRYN I hope I didn't overdo it. It was Kei's idea. She wanted to give you a 21st birthday you'd always remember. [Yuri looks stunned, then winces and clutches her chest.] YURI AAAAAUGH! Oh god, not now! [She drops to her knees.] KEI [rushing over] Yuri! What's wrong? YURI H....heart condition. I lied about it when I entered the 3WA. Paid UNGH! Paid people to doctor the medical reports. D-didn't think anything could possibly jolt me enough to set it off. Guess I was wrong, huh? AAAAGGH! [She drops to the floor, sweating.] Oh, shit, this hurts. RUMIKO [running to the comm] I'll, I'll call for the meds! DARRYN Yuri, stay awake! Don't pass out. [Yuri groans. Kei starts to cry.] KEI Oh, god, Yuri, don't die! Please don't die! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen! YURI [weakly] N...not your fault. Kei, could you...come close? Something...I gotta tell you, and... and I can't breathe... KEI Of course! Anything! Anything! [She leans over Yuri.] I'm here, Yuri! What is it? YURI K-kei? KEI Yes? YURI You are SO STUPID!!!!!! [She grabs Kei around the neck.] REVENGE NOOGIE!!! [There is silence for a bit as Yuri violently rubs Kei's head. Then everyone except for Kei cracks up.] DARRYN [wiping his eyes] Hoo boy! I guess we deserved that. YURI You're darn right you did! I could've seriously hurt you, Darryn! [Darryn raises an eyebrow.] Oh, alright, I guess I couldn't have. You're a smug little ninja, aren't you? [Yuri helps Kei up.] KEI Once again, Yuri fakes her death, and once again, I fall for it. I'm so embarrassed, I think I'm going to have to get seriously drunk. RUMIKO [holding up a bottle of Scotch] Race you there! [Fade to later. Rumiko and Kei are three sheets to the wind. Yuri is slightly high, but Darryn hasn't been drinking at all. The two more sober characters sit at opposite ends of a couch while the two drunken girls are spread out on the floor.] YURI Won't you have even one glass? It's really good stuff. By the way, thanks, Rumiko. Where did you find it? RUMIKO I haddit imported! Itcher twenny first, Yoori. Couldn't serve ya the same old synthetic shhhhhhhhit! KEI [her face in the rug] Fergh glargh blubbin' shizz grubs. RUMIKO What she said! [She raises a glass in a toast to something, then downs it.] DARRYN No, thanks, Yuri. A ninja needs all his brain cells. RUMIKO Awwwwwww, thhhhhpppfffft! Itz 2143! There's plenny a' ways ta replace brain cells. [Kei gets up.] KEI Hey, Darryn! [She falls on her face and lies there.] YURI Man, twenty-one already. I can hardly believe it. DARRYN What I can't believe is all you've accomplished in the last four years. Rumiko and I never got a reputation that fast. YURI Heh. You want our reputation? You can have it. DARRYN It's not all bad. You still have a 100% success record going. We NightRiders blew our sixth case. RUMIKO Seventh, Darryn darlin'. And that's jus' becuzz they didn' give uzz good info on the targets. [Kei gets up and decides to give it another try.] KEI Hey, Darryn! [She tries to slink up to him but manages only an epileptic wobble.] I've always wondered somethin'. DARRYN Shoot. KEI Of the two of you, Rumiko has the Jabbanese name. So how come yer th' ninja? DARRYN Names don't mean that much anymore, Kei. I probably have as many Japanese genes in my matrix as Rumiko. [Kei leans in close to Darryn and smiles, causing Darryn to wince at her breath.] KEI Hey, Darryn. I godda Jabbanese name, too. Only mine's a boy's. That means I have a boyish personality. RUMIKO Also means you better stay 'way from Darryn or have your nose crammed up your other end... KEI Oooh! Oooh! Them's fightin' words! [The comm rings. Darryn gets up.] DARRYN [relieved] I'll get it. KEI I wan' satisfaction! You impugned my impugnity! RUMIKO Waddya have in mind? KEI Aaaaaaaaaa drinkin' contest! RUMIKO Wuzz the sense? We're already plastered! KEI So? Id'll be a short contes'! [Cut to Darryn at the comm. We can't hear the other speaker.] DARRYN Hello. This is Darryn. No, we're up. We're having a party. Well, I can get Yuri, but Kei's not-- [pause, Darryn listens] Yes, sir. Yes, I'll tell them. [Kei and Rumiko have already drunk most of another bottle of Scotch.] RUMIKO Yer turn. [to Yuri:] She's goin' down. KEI You wish, you old bag. [Darryn returns.] DARRYN Bad news, folks. We've been ordered to report to a briefing at 0900 tomorrow. Something's come up. I wasn't told what it was, but they want the Lovely Angels, the NightRiders, and another outfit called the Lonely Hearts to report. YURI SIX trouble consultants? Holeeeee... KEI Awwwwwwwww... That sucksssss... RUMIKO Are you gonna drink or what? [Kei knocks the shot back and slams the glass on the table.] KEI Hah! How ya like that! [Kei's eyes roll back and she passes out, face down in a bowl of pretzels. Rumiko starts to dance.] RUMIKO I win! I win! Iiiiiiiiiiiii.... [She passes out herself.] YURI Well, Darryn, looks like the party's over anyway. Guess I'll see you tomorrow morning. DARRYN See you later, then. Oops, almost forgot. [He picks up Rumiko.] Wouldn't want to leave without this. --- END PROLOGUE --- >>> NEXT >>> "Shasti is the 3WA's dirty little secret."