------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dirty Pair (and Company) in R E U N I O N S by Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "We find her, we kick her butt!" -- Kei, Planet Rocinante, A.D. 2141 ----------------- S T A G E T W O ----------------- > A.D. 214303.18; 16:58:20 > WWWA Central Headquarters, Tarmac A-9 [Scene: The _Lovely Angel_ and the _Lonely Heart_, two similar but not identical craft, sit side-by-side. Andrew leans against the landing gear of the _Angel_, lost in thought. The Lonely Hearts, Nene and Daphne, wait for the rest of the taskforce to arrive. Nene tries to open a bottle of soda, but as she pushes a button on the side of the cap, nothing happens.] NENE [whines] Aww. The cap is broken. It's not gonna come off! DAPHNE Really? Walk out that way, towards the hangars. NENE Why? [Daphne smiles.] DAPHNE Trust me! NENE Wellllll, oooookay. But I think it'd be a lot easier to get an opener from the ship. [Nene walks about 35 meters away from Daphne.] DAPHNE Stop! [Nene stops.] Now turn around and hold the bottle out. NENE Okay, but I still don't get it. [Daphne sights in with her cybereye. Her view of the of bottle zooms until the bottle cap is clearly defined. The cap is outlined in red with the legend "TARGET ACQUIRED". Daphne pulls out her gun and fires in a single motion, shooting off the cap.] NENE YAAAAAAHH!!! [She drops the bottle, spilling the drink on the tarmac.] DAPHNE Isn't that cool! The SharpShot program works! NENE You made me spill my drink! [The Lovely Angels and NightRiders arrive in an aircar.] KEI You guys taking target practice at each other? DAPHNE [cheerfully] 'Bout time you guys got here. [Cut to inside the _Lovely Angel_, where the taskforce convenes.] NENE Wow. So this is the Lovely Angel. I've heard so much about this ship. Is it true what they say about how fast it is? RUMIKO Yeah, but not as fast as my _Intruder_! Now that's a ship! KEI [sarcastically] Really? I thought it was back at the repair center, impersonating a swiss cheese. I heard it wasn't able to outrun a lousy three pirate ships. RUMIKO For your information, Kei, we blew those pirates into space dust!! I'd like to see you do any better! KEI Are you kidding? I'd put the _Angel_ against the _Intruder_ any day! RUMIKO Then let's do it! After this is over and our ship is out of the shop! KEI You're on! DARRYN [clears his throat] I'm sure it'll be very exciting, but could we get on to more immediate matters? Like where Rumiko and I are going to sleep? KEI We have a small guest room with one bed. That should be plenty, eh? [She winks at the 'Riders.] RUMIKO [angry] Kei! KEI [innocently] What? YURI Darryn and Rumiko being an item isn't common knowledge, Kei. DARRYN TC's aren't supposed to get involved with their partners. It could be bad for our careers if anyone found out. DAPHNE Hey, don't worry about it! Your secret's safe with us! NENE Hmph. I don't see what the problem is, myself. I mean, Daphne and I have been lovers for years and no one's ever complained. [Everyone is speechless. Daphne blushes beet red.] Well, I suppose us Lonely Hearts should get back to our ship. See ya later! [Nene smiles, waves, and heads out the hatch.] DAPHNE Uh, heh, heh. Listen, I-- KEI Hey, no problem! YURI It's the 22nd century, after all! DARRYN We were just surprised that she was so, you know, forward about who she was sleeping with. DAPHNE That's Nene, alright. I guess that one of the things I love about her. [She pauses.] Look, Nene's right, we have some things to take care of before we take off. Signal us if you need anything, 'kay? [She leaves as everyone says goodbye.] YURI Wait a minute. If Darryn and Rumiko are staying on the Angel, then I guess it would make sense for Andrew to stay in the Heart's guest room. Wish I'd thought of that before Daphne left. KEI Where is he, anyway? [Andrew is in a small observation room, looking miserably out the window. He toys with a small wristlet, made of braided and knotted colored string. As he looks at it, his mind drifts back...) ============================================================================ > A.D. 213502.14; 12:35:54 > WWWA Central Headquarters, Sciences Wing, Observation Room #10-K "This is boring," pouted Shasti. "Let's play a game." "We can play a game when we're done," Andrew replied. "Now, are you ready?" "Ready!" Shasti chimed, smiling. Andrew displayed the next in what had been a long series of flashcards. A mathematical problem was on the front, "2856 X 4961". No sooner did Shasti see it than she had the answer. "Fourteen million, one hundred sixty-eight thousand, six hundred sixteen." Once again, Andrew had to check the back of the card, although he was beginning to wonder if he should bother. "Wow. Right again." Shasti squealed with delight. "Yay! That's twenty in a row!" "You're a really smart girl, Shasti," Andrew said. Shasti looked startled by the compliment. "Oh! You really think so, Andy?" Andy knew so. Her IQ was so high, the standard tests had failed to provide a measurement. The staff was currently scrambling to invent new tests. Still, encouragement never hurt. "I couldn't have done those problems in my head," he said. "How does it feel when you do them?" "Great! I like being smart! Now can we play a game, pleeeeease?" Shasti leaned over the table and beamed her most engaging smile at him. Andrew couldn't help but smile back. He wondered if Shasti understood the power she had over him. He was just beginning to understand himself, and he'd been working with her for what seemed like years. Actually it had been only months, but thanks to her radical brain design, and with the help of periodic synaptic booster sessions, her personality had matured five years. The woman playing with toys in the playroom had been "four". The woman sitting across from him was now "nine". Once she had gotten used to him, Shasti had taken a real liking to Andrew. She also had learned fairly quickly how to get what she wanted out of him. Just the right smile or giggle could get a game played rather than a test performed, or maybe even a promise to buy her a new toy. At first, Andrew had thought it standard behavior for a child of her mental age, but as she matured mentally, she had become extremely adept at the manipulation, so much so that Andrew was often unaware that she was doing it. He had become concerned and had taken the matter to Director Ayoob. Ayoob had expressed fears that one of Shasti's functions might be activating prematurely, and had promised to look into the situation, but had refused to give Andrew any further information. The next day, Shasti had nearly charmed him into subsituting another test for one she found boring, when he'd snapped at her, telling her to "cut it out". Shasti apologized politely and performed the test. Later, Andrew watched through the two-way mirror as Shasti cried herself to sleep, sobbing quietly so as not to be heard outside her room. Andrew's heart melted like butter in the sun. The next day, he brought her a pint of ice cream and a new dress. Since then, Shasti's attempts at manipulation had become much more obvious, as if she wanted to let Andrew know what exactly she was doing, that she wasn't trying to trick him. Nonetheless, she was still very good at it. "Sure," said Andrew. "Yeah!" exclaimed Shasti, jumping up from her seat. "I'll go get the chess board!" "Naw, you always beat me at chess. Let's play a card game. At least then there's an element of chance." Shasti winked at him. "Betcha I still beat you!" Andrew couldn't help but laugh. "I'll bet you're right!" Shasti suddenly fell silent, staring at Andrew for several seconds. Finally, she spoke. "You're cool, Andy." "Really, now?" he asked, cocking his head. "What makes me cool?" "You talk to me," she replied. "You're the only one who really talks to me. Well, I mean, the others talk to me, too, but they're not really interested, you know? They just say 'Hello, Shasti, how are you feeling today? That's nice. Now hold out your arm so I can stick some needles in it.'" Andrew's heart went out to her. "Does it bother you? I can talk to Director Ayoob--" "Naah," Shasti said, cutting him off. "I'm too tough for that." "I'd just hate to think you were lonely." Shasti's beautiful eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, Andy..." She walked around to his side of the table. "I'll never be lonely as long as I have you." She hugged him. When she felt him tense, she released him. "I'm embarrassing you, aren't I?" she asked. She pointed at her breasts. "It has something to do with these things, doesn't it? Other girls my age don't have them. I can't figure it out. Why is my body different?" Andrew placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Some things will take time to explain, Shasti. But I promise I'll be here to help you learn. And I promise not to be embarassed the next time you hug me." Shasti waited a moment, then flashed him a big grin. "I've got something for you!" She fished in her pocket and pulled out a braided wristlet. "It's a friendship bracelet. I read in a book how to make them yesterday. See?" She held up her left arm. "I'm wearing one just like it. Now we're official friends!" Andrew put his on. "I promise never to take it off." ============================================================================ [Back in the present, Andrew speaks to the empty air:] ANDREW Promises, promises. Shasti, what am I going to do? I took this job because I needed so badly to see you again. But now... Now the very idea terrifies me. - - - > A.D. 214303.19; 18:15:00 > Planet Bydon, City of Ekana [Scene: a small apartment. A scruffy-looking man looks nervously out the window. Shasti, inside, speaks to him, annoyed.] SHASTI Nance, will you please get inside already? The last thing we need is for someone out there to ID you. NANCE Have you seen what it's like out there? The sky is crawling with police cruisers. Man, you told me there would be heat, but I didn't think it would be this bad. SHASTI Nance, darling, we blew a large chunk of their capital city off the map. Whatever did you expect? NANCE I'm just not used to this much heat, man. I mean, it's the whole planet we're talking about. There's nowhere to run to. Paul knows what he's doing, right? There's no way to communicate with him. [Shasti strolls up behind him and begins gently to massage his neck.] SHASTI Relax, Nance. Everything's going to be fine. You can trust Paul. He'll be here on schedule, we'll pull this caper off, and before you know it, we'll all be rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Now... [She moves closer, speaking softly into his ear.] Why don't you come inside and I'll help you unwind? [Nance angrily pushes her away.] NANCE Don't start that crap with me! I know how you operate, Shasti! You use your wit and your charm and your sex appeal to win a man's confidence, and when he's no longer of any use to you--! [He draws a finger across his throat. As Shasti watches, her face begins to flush with anger.] Well, just because I work with you, doesn't mean I have to trust you! I'm in this for my share of the money, and once I get it, I'm getting as far away from you and your back-stabbing friends as I can! SHASTI [simmering] Very well. We can work on those terms just as easily. [She grabs him by the throat and lifts him into the air, gagging and choking.] Listen to me, you pathetic maggot. If you want to take your share and run, that's your perogative. But until then, I am your commander! You will treat me with respect, and you will do as I say! Or I just may have to dispose of you *early*! Understood?! [Nance is turning blue.] Good! You can start by getting your ass INSIDE! [She throws him across the room, bouncing him off the far wall. He slumps to the ground, barely conscious.] Now just lie there and relax, dear. - - - > A.D. 214303.20; 05:35:00 [Scene: _Lovely Angel_, approaching Bydon orbit. Yuri and Mughi are on the bridge as Kei arrives, yawning.] KEI G'morning, Yuri. How long have you been up? YURI Not long. Truth is, I couldn't sleep very well. I kept thinking about how, when we last left Shasti, we'd dumped her into hard vacuum, and now here she is. [Kei drops into the co-pilot's seat next to Yuri and stretches.] KEI Yup, they really built her. YURI I'm beginning to wonder if there's anything that can take her down. KEI Sure, a bullet in the head. YURI That's assuming you can hit her. We didn't have much luck last time. RUMIKO Mornin' girls! [The Angels turn around to say good morning, and notice that Rumiko's topless.] KEI Um, dontcha think you should put some clothes on? RUMIKO Why? Who's around that cares? It's so warm on this ship. [Darryn arrives, wearing just as little, and gives Rumiko a quick kiss.] DARRYN Good morning, ladies. Ready to begin the mission? YURI Geez, they oughta call you guys the NudeRiders... KEI Heads up, guys, here comes our welcoming party. [Five heavily armed vessels surround the two 3WA ships. After a brief moment, a message is sent.] COMM WWWA vessels _Lovely_Angel_ and _Lonely_Heart_, you are cleared to land. Stand by to receive approach vector and landing coordinates. [The two ships pass through the security cordon and head toward the atmosphere. As they descend:] YURI Guys, I don't like the looks of this. I assumed they would want to keep our arrival quiet, but there's an enormous crowd waiting at those coordinates. KEI A trap? RUMIKO Naah, that doesn't make any sense. [The comm comes to life with Daphne's face, looking sheepish.] DAPHNE I'm really sorry about this, guys. If I'd have known they would make such a fuss, I wouldn't have asked for this mission. DARRYN Fuss? About what? DAPHNE Back when I was in the Econ Corps, I saved this planet from bankruptcy. They now have one of the most thriving economies in this sector, and I guess I'm kinda a hero. Someone leaked that I was coming, and now they want to hold some big gala in my honor. They just told me now. I tried to decline, but I don't think they understood. KEI Great. Just great. Now the entire stinking planet will know who's coming. DARRYN There's nothing to be done for it, unfortunately. We'll just have to grit our teeth and walk through it all. [Cut to a 3V broadcast, showing the _Angel_ and the _Heart_ at the spaceport.] REPORTER Again, the hatches to the two ships have just opened. We're waiting to get a peek at who could be inside. AND THERE SHE IS! [Picture zooms up to a self-conscious Daphne disembarking. Behind her, a gleeful Nene waves to the crowd.] Let's go to Corena Simpson, who is standing near the ships! SIMPSON Miss Daphne, may I have a word with you?! DAPHNE Uh, s-sure... SIMPSON How does it feel to return to the planet you saved from the brink of disaster? DAPHNE Uh, really nice. I like this place. SIMPSON The Bydon Conservative Party wants to run you for president. Have you considered their offer? DAPHNE Huh? N-no, I couldn't-- SIMPSON What about the five major banks that have offered you presidencies? DAPHNE Er, I'm flattered, of course. But, there's really no way, I couldn't... You'll have to excuse me. [Daphne runs off. Shouts are heard: "Daphne, please stay!" "Marry me, Daphne!"] SIMPSON Well, there you have it! A humble response from the brilliant woman who was the savior of our way of life. Only time will tell if she'll-- [At that moment the mood of the crowd changes, from jubilant cheers to horrified gasps and shrieks. The reporter looks and goes pale.] OH MY GOD!! It can't be! [The shot zooms in on the group disembarking the Lovely Angel.] It's...it's the D-D-DIRTY P-PAIR! God help us... [Cut to the Lovely Angels and NightRiders.] KEI Dammit, I was hoping sending out Daphne first would distract them. RUMIKO You mean you have to go through this kind of shit all the time? [Cut to Shasti's apartment. Shasti lounges on the floor in a T-shirt and shorts, no shoes, while watching the broadcast.] SHASTI [laughing] Oh, you girls. You haven't changed a bit. It's hard to stay mad at you when I see the kind of crap you have to put up with. Not that you don't deserve it. [Shasti ID's everyone as they appear.] Let's see, the Lovely Angels, my old friends the NightRiders... Don't recognize the other two, but this "Daphne" must have been in the Econ Corps. Transfers from the Econ Corps to the Trouble Consultant Corps aren't that common. Shouldn't be hard to look her up... [Her voice trails off as Andrew appears on the screen.] That's... That's... [She turns off the 3V and thinks.] --- END STAGE TWO --- >>> NEXT >>> "I'm going to count down from five. Then I'm going to kill you."