------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dirty Pair (and Company) in R E U N I O N S by Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "We have a nasty tendency to forget that artificial intelligence, especially above Level 3, is quite capable of attaining a personality framework which is just as dynamic as any human personality. Attaining this, these A.I.s essentially attain humanity, and by rights should be treated as humans in accordance with UG laws concerning sentient rights." - Dr. Quevas T. Kueblestein, Ph.D. (WWWA Sciences Vice-Director) on the subject of artificial intelligence ----------------- S T A G E S I X ----------------- > 14:43:39 > Anavel Municipal Hospital [Scene: Kei, Yuri, Darryn, Rumiko, and Andrew sit anxiously in a waiting room. A doctor enters through a doorway, wearing a solemn expression.] DOCTOR I'm sorry. [They react in various ways: sad sighs, disappointed looks. Yuri begins to stare at the floor.] DOCTOR We did everything we could, but the hemmoraging was too severe. Whatever it was that hit her burst 35% of the capillaries in her brain. That she hung on as long as she did is nothing short of astounding. [A dejected taskforce leaves the waiting room and exits the hospital.] RUMIKO I thought we could at least save Nene. To lose both of them... DARRYN And this was only their fifth mission. [The group leaves the hospital and finds themselves face-to-face with a crowd of reporters.] REPORTER #1 Is it true that Daphne is dead? REPORTER #2 And has her killer escaped? KEI No comment! Let us through! REPORTER #3 Ah, Kei! You and Yuri make up the so-called "Dirty Pair", correct? [Yuri looks up, her expression one of utter hatred.] Isn't this tragedy just one more example of the string of alleged accidents that follow the two of you everywhere? YURI Shut up. REPORTER #3 Don't you think it's time an investigation was order? Before anymore innocents have to perish thanks to your--! YURI SHUT UP, YOU BASTARD!! [Yuri jumps on the reporter, knocking him down.] You think I don't care?! Daphne was my friend, you son of a BITCH! [Kei pulls her to her feet.] KEI Yuri, c'mon! Get a grip! [Yuri stares at the reporter for a second, then turns and runs off.] Yuri! YURI! [Kei runs after her.] REPORTER #3 [to a cameraman:] That was great! Did you get that? [Rumiko turns to face Andrew.] RUMIKO (angrily) I hope you're satisfied. ============================================================================ > A.D. 213504.17; 10:00:00 > Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters "I hope you're satisfied." Andrew squirmed. He thought he'd prepared himself for the meeting with Ayoob. He had even planned to go on the offensive, since there were a ton of questions he wanted answered. But now that he was here, Andrew couldn't help feeling like a grade-school student being reprimanded by the principal. To say Ayoob had not been pleased would have been the understatement of the century. Andrew had never seen the man so angry, though he had always believed him capable of it. Andrew had hoped Ayoob would cool off before the meeting, and he had, but it was obvious the man was still seething beneath the surface. "Shasti will need to be in intensive chemical therapy for days. The premature emergence of her Warrior personality caused a massive hormone imbalance. If it had been any more serious, she could have suffered permanent brain damage." Andrew straightened a bit. So that was what had caused her outburst. "Sir, if you had told me about this Warrior personality before, I would never have--" "Never have disobeyed direct orders and taken her off the premises?! Dammit, what the hell were you thinking?!" "I was thinking that Shasti was a lonely little girl in the body of an adult woman. I was thinking that my analysis of her mental development couldn't possibly be complete without seeing how she interacts with real people!" Ayoob didn't respond, so Andrew pressed on. "You should have seen her! She was having the time of her life." "This is all quite irrelevant." "Well, what *is* relevant? I mean, what the hell do you want me to do?" "You know damn well what we want you to do. Observe Shasti, take notes, and give us your professional opinion. That's all." Andrew stood up. "You want my professional opinion? Okay, here it is. This whole thing stinks like shit. You create this woman from scratch, possibly the greatest achievement in the history of bioengineering, and then none of you bothers to take the time to get to know her! You're planning to turn her into one of your agents; that much is obvious from her behavior yesterday. But is she going to get a choice? I doubt it. "Shasti is a brilliant, kind, strong girl who could be the greatest employee you idiots have ever had, if you'd just start treating her like a human being!" Ayoob glared at him. "You want me to do my job, fine," Andrew continued, "but you're going to have to give me the information I need to do it. I want to know about this Warrior personality, as well any other personalities that may be hiding in her head. I want complete writeups on her mental design--" "That won't be necessary." "I'm afraid it is." "No it isn't. And neither are you. Your position is terminated." Andrew blinked, stunned. "You can't be serious." "I haven't been more serious in my entire career." "But... But you can't fire me now! She needs me!" "Shasti needs you like she needs a hole in her head. It's pretty damn obvious you've gotten too attached to her. Your continued presence would just be distracting. Besides, we'll be releasing her to the Academy in a few months. Your work is more or less completed anyway." Andrew stared at him, still in a state of shock. "S-sir, I beg you to reconsider--" "We'll want you off the premises by five this afternoon. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment." Andrew walked the corridors on the way to the medical facilities, still in a daze. He couldn't believe they would fire him. He wasn't worried about his own career. He'd saved enough from this job to relocate, if necessary. No, it was Shasti. He still didn't know how he was going to tell her. As he made his way to her room, he was grateful not to be stopped by security. He was certain Ayoob didn't want him here. A nurse let him into Shasti's room. Andrew swallowed hard when he saw her. She looked awful. "Chemical therapy" obviously meant drugging her to the gills. Her skin was pale, and puffy dark circles ringed her eyes. When she saw Andrew, she smiled, but weakly. "Andy. Hi." "Hi, Shasti. How are you feeling?" "Oh, I'm getting by." She coughed. "They say I'll be outta here in a few days. Uh, I wanted to say I was sorry for scaring you." My god, thought Andrew. She's worried about *me*. He sat down in a chair next to the bed. "Don't you worry about that. It wasn't your fault. Tell me, how much do you remember?" "All of it. But, it's like I was a different person, you know. Weird." Andrew decided to get it over with. "Shasti, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. They fired me." Shasti's eyes went wide. "What?!" She started to sit up, but Andrew gently pushed her back down. "It was my fault. I should never have taken you outside like that, at least not without clearing it with Ayoob first." "No! No no no! You can't leave me! Not now!" Shasti started to cry. "Shasti, it's okay." "No! No, it's not! I'm scared, Andy! What if I do it again? Only what if this time I don't just kill bad guys?!" "That won't happen. Trust me." "Don't go! Please don't go!" Andrew saw the nurse peek in through the window, alerted by the commotion. He took Shasti's hand and stroked it. "Shasti, it's going to be okay. You're strong, remember? You can get through this." "I'm strong because of you! You were always there for me." "Well, you're going to have to get by without me for a few months." Shasti bit her lower lip. A thought occurred to Andrew. "Let me give you something." Andrew reached into his jacket and pulled out a business card and a pen and scribbled down an address and a phone number. He handed it to Shasti. "Eventually, they'll have to give you some freedom, if they want you to do your job. When they do, here's where you can get in touch with me." Shasti read it and smiled at him. "Thank you, Andy." "Ayoob doesn't like me very much, so you'd better memorize that and get rid of it." Shasti handed the card back to him. "I've already memorized it." "Think you can survive now?" Shasti nodded. "Good." He took her hand. "Now, gimme a good squeeze. OW!" Shasti giggled. Andrew leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. He stood up. "I'll see you later, okay?" "Okay." As he walked out of the room, Shasti called to him. "I love you, Andy." Andrew looked back. "I love you, too." ============================================================================ > 15:23:00 > Ekana Interstellar Spaceport [The Lovely Angels and NightRiders are on the bridge of the _Lovely_ Angel_, huddled around a monitor.] YURI I don't wanna see this. DARRYN None of us do, but we need to know. Play the file. [Yuri hits a control, and the bridge of the _Lonely_Heart_ appears on the screen. Out the main viewport can be seen Shasti's shuttle, connected to the much larger ship by a tractor beam.] NENE Their acceleration is decreasing. DAPHNE I'm not surprised. They must have exhausted their fuel by now. WHA--?! [Space shifts from black to orange, and a large space cruiser materializes in front of them.] Oh, no. [The cruiser begins firing. The Lonely Hearts scream as the ship shakes violently around them. Lights on the bridge flicker.] DAPHNE NENE!! RETURN FIRE!! NENE I can't! They hit the main power generator!! Weapons and engines both off-line! Re-routing back-up--AAAH!! [The ship shakes again. Daphne begins floating out of her chair.] Hull breach aft!! Gravity's gone!! The inertial compensators, too!! [Nene sees Daphne floating and panics.] DAPHNE!! MY GOD!! GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT BEFORE--!! [Daphne struggles madly to get back to her seat, but the ship is hit again. This time Daphne is thrown violently across the bridge and connects with the far wall. She rebounds, leaving a bloody spot, and floats back, limp and lifeless.] NENE DAPHNEEEEE!!! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! I don't know what to do! [The cruiser apparently decides the _Lonely_ Heart_ is no longer a threat and begins to accelerate away. Nene begins working madly with the console.] NENE Almost there. Almost there. C'mon c'mon c'mon... YES!! I--oops! [A gun turret on the cruiser swings back around.] Oh shit. [The turret fires once.] GURRGGLH--!! [Blood sprays out of every orifice in Nene's head. She goes limp and begins mumbling.] 148... 524... 217... 148... [Yuri stops the tape.] YURI They were like that when we found them. DARRYN She forgot to put her restraints on. (sigh) Rookie mistake. I keep telling them not to pair rookies with rookies, but-- YURI Look, don't criticize her, okay? She's dead, isn't that enough? DARRYN Yuri, I'm sorry... KEI Well, one thing's for sure. That was definitely the half-warp effect. I'd know it anywhere. RUMIKO Why would Shasti go around mind-raping people with half-warp knowledge if she already had it? It makes no sense. KEI I didn't say it did. But I can't deny what's right in front of my eyes. DARRYN What was Nene doing? Any ideas? YURI Hacking into the cruiser's computers. They must have found out and put a stop to it. DARRYN What did she find out? YURI No idea. The _Heart_'s computer logs were fried by the overload. The only clue is those numbers she was mumbling. RUMIKO There were three different numbers, right? Probably spatial coordinates. YURI I'll check the navigation database. ANDREW Excuse me. [All turn to look uneasily at Andrew, who has wandered onto the bridge.] DARRYN You're confined to quarters, remember? ANDREW I just want to know what will be done with me. DARRYN A police escort will soon be arriving. They'll take you to the spaceport where a 3WA ship will take you into custody. ANDREW And then...? DARRYN And then you'll be taken to Elenore to stand trial. [Andrew is silent for a moment. Then a bitter smile spreads across his face.] ANDREW Trial? On what charges? Protecting a woman from being gunned down in cold blood? KEI That wasn't a woman you saved, you bastard! It was a vicious killer. She's already responsible for hundreds of deaths on this planet alone! God only knows what she did before we caught up to her! How many more are gonna die because of you?! ANDREW Shasti's a vicious killer because she's programmed to be one. What's your excuse? KEI Why you shit-eating son-of-a-BITCH! [The others grab at her, but miss, and Kei attacks Andrew and pins him against the wall.] ANDREW Oh, please! Beat me up! Kill me, even! That's what you 3WA monsters do best, isn't it? Destroy property and lives? [Kei pulls her fist back.] YURI Kei, NO! DARRYN Let the courts handle it! [Reluctantly, Kei drops him.] ANDREW I'll return to my quarters. Wouldn't want to spoil any more of your fun. If any of you feel the urge to throw someone out an airlock, you know where I'll be. [Andrew leaves.] DARRYN I'll be glad to be rid of him. YURI It may be too early for that. [All turn to look at her.] The numbers Nene was mumbling *are* spatial coordinates. They're in the Ariake system. RUMIKO Ariake? Yuck, what a pisshole. YURI Not only that, it was one of *Lord Robin's* pissholes. [She turns to the others.] Look, Andrew hates our guts. He's moody, unpredicatable, and now a traitor. Nonetheless, he's the only one of us to have successfully predicted Shasti's whereabouts. Are you sure you want to give that up? [Silence.] RUMIKO As nauseous as it makes me to admit it, you do have a point. YURI Besides, I have to work out the details, but I think I know a way to use him. ------ > 17:30:00 [The _Lovely_Angel_ lifts off, accelerates away from Bydon, and warps out.] [Yuri sits at a observation port, staring moodily out into space. Rumiko approaches and sits beside her.] RUMIKO How ya doing? YURI Fine. No, that's a lie. I'm still pretty shaken... RUMIKO Was Daphne that good of a friend? YURI Well, not like Kei is, but a good one, yeah. It's just the thought of having her, then losing her, then getting her back, being so happy, only to lose her again. It's so unfair. [She pauses.] You know, I just can't shake the feeling that Shasti's out there somewhere, laughing at us. She must think we're complete idiots, and right now, I don't think I could argue the point very well. I'm sorry, I'm really shitty company right now... RUMIKO No, I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. [She pats Yuri on the back and starts to get up.] YURI No, wait. [She grabs Rumiko by the arm.] Could we just talk for awhile? I think I need to. [Rumiko sits back down.] RUMIKO Sure. Tell me about Lord Robin. YURI That's not what I meant. RUMIKO Sorry. It's just that I'd like to know more about the man who was responsible for me almost getting killed by a fellow trouble consultant. I've heard you fell in love with him. [Yuri glares at her.] YURI I'm gonna kill Kei. RUMIKO Hey, I didn't hear it from her! YURI The rumor had to start somewhere. [Yuri takes a breath.] No, I didn't fall in love with him. But I might have, if we'd spent more time together. RUMIKO [shocked] Yuri! The man killed--! YURI Over fifty billion people, I know. But you never met the man. To meet him casually was to be terrified of him. But once you got to know him, once he let his guard down for you, he was, like, a completely different man. All that insanity, it was just an act. He was so... gentle. RUMIKO Gentle? First time I've ever heard that word used to describe him. YURI He explained everything to me. How he had been the elected leader of Serpiens Seven. [Rumiko's eyes go wide as she recognizes the name.] How the United Galactica had stood by and done nothing as his world obliterated itself in a civil war. How he decided to roam the galaxy, bestowing the same gift of destruction on other UG fringe worlds, until those worlds realized the UG couldn't or wouldn't protect them and formed their own union. [Pause.] The thing was, he was right! No real action was taken until Cindy, who had fallen in unrequited love with Lord Robin, decided to prove her love for him by killing as many of her fellow trouble consultants as she could. *Then* Kei and I were sent on our mission. [Yuri laughs bitterly.] Listen to me. Here I am, defending a mass-murderer. I sound like Andrew. RUMIKO I don't know. Lord Robin was a mass-murderer, but at least you knew where he stood. Shasti was a traitor. YURI What was she like? Before we met her, I mean. Before everything started to go wrong. RUMIKO I liked her at first, once I got used to her. She was strong, single- minded, and someone you could count on, or at least she seemed so at the time. She seemed so bitter, though. YURI Bitter? RUMIKO Yeah. She sort of felt that the 3WA had stolen something from her, a normal life, I guess. And you really couldn't blame her. She didn't have to take it out on Deirdre and you, though. It wasn't your fault. Any chance of me feeling sorry for her went out the window when she turned criminal. YURI And a damned good criminal, too. I hope we get her this time. RUMIKO You and me both. [Asteroids begin to drift past the starfield.] Oh, shit. We've entered the Gauntlet. YURI "The Gauntlet"? RUMIKO You've never been to Ariake, have you? YURI No. I just read the files on it. RUMIKO "The Gauntlet" is the affectionate term for the asteroid belt in this system. You have to pass through it, unless you want to go far out of your way. The rocks hide all kinds of nasty creeps. If we're lucky, the ones we encounter will just want a toll. YURI How can you be sure we'll be attacked? RUMIKO I'd feel insulted if we weren't. C'mon, we better get to the bridge. [The bridge: Kei sits at the pilots seat, guiding the _Lovely_Angel_ between the asteroids. Darryn sits at a scanning station behind her.] DARRYN Nothing yet. KEI Good. Let's hope it stays that way. DARRYN Trust me, there's little hope of that. [Yuri and Rumiko arrive.] YURI Hi! We miss anything? KEI Not yet. Sit down. [Yuri takes the co-pilot's seat.] Rumiko, the computer station can be converted into an auxiliary weapons console. RUMIKO Got it! [She sits.] [The _Lovely_Angel_ continues to thread its way between the rocks.] DARRYN Got something! Four targets, converging on our position! KEI Lemme see 'em! [Auxiliary screens above the main canopy window light up to show the targets: sleek black fighter craft with yellow smiley faces painted on the wings.] Aw, shit. F-242s. RUMIKO F-whats? YURI Lord Robin-fighters. Manueverable as all get out. I watched them nearly take out a complete squadron of the UG space forces. [The fighters weave rapidly past the asteroids and begin firing. The bridge shakes violently.] YURI Returning fire! [The _Lovely_Angel_ strikes out with its laser cannons, but the fighters evade, swooping behind asteroids for protection, then coming around for another pass. They fire again, jolting the bridge.] YURI AAAGH! Kei, we're in trouble! They're too quick! KEI Then we'll have to be quicker! [She grabs the throttle control and pushes it upward. The acceleration pushes everyone back into their seats.] YURI Kei, what are you doing?! There's no way we can match their manueverability!! KEI What we lack in manueverability, we'll make up in skill. I'll bet you anything those are just a bunch of scum pirates that Shasti gave those ships to. YURI And if they're Lord Robin's elite pilots? KEI Well, then, they'll respect crazy people, won't they? [She opens up the throttle.] [The _Lovely_Angel_ zooms through the asteroid field, dodging and weaving as fast as it can. The F-242s are left behind, but follow.] KEI Darryn, help me out. Turn on all the scanners full blast and give me a map! DARRYN That could burn them out. KEI Like, it matters? DARRYN I see your point. [Moments later, a three-dimensional map forms in front of one of the auxiliary screens. Kei briefly looks away from the canopy window to glance at the map.] YURI KEI!! [The _Lovely_Angel_ nearly collides with an asteroid, but Kei throws the ship into a tight turn and hits full thrusters. The force throws the rock backward into a smaller one, which richochets into the path of one of the fighters. The fighter collides with it and explodes.] KEI I meant to do that. [The remaining fighters converge and fire.] YURI Returning fire. [She fires.] Dammit! Missed again. They're hiding behind that big one! RUMIKO No, they're not. [Rumiko fires a missile. The asteroid is blasted into countless pieces which fly into the fighters. An explosion can be seen through the debris.] Got one!! DARRYN Kei, take a look at the map. We've got a large open area just a few kilometers to starboard. KEI Got it! [The _Lovely_Angel_ turns tightly. The fighters follow, but all three craft are soon in an asteroid-free zone. The fighters quickly realize their predicament and try to retreat back into the field.] YURI Oh no, you don't! [Yuri fires the laser cannon. One fighter is sliced neatly in half and vanishes in a fireball.] DARRYN Wait! Don't kill the other one! We might get some answers from him. YURI Understood. Locking tractor. Get the pilot on the comm, will you, Darryn? DARRYN Pilot of fighter craft, this is the 3WA craft, _Lovely_Angel_. Surrender and you will come to no harm. Repeat, surrender-- Hold it. I'm picking up a hyperspace transmission from the craft, but it's coded. RUMIKO That son of a bitch--! [She fires a missile, and the last fighter is history.] So much for any element of surprise. DARRYN Kei, get us through the Gauntlet. Then we need to have a meeting. - - - [In a small briefing room, the four trouble consultants meet around a table.] DARRYN Okay. Shasti knows we're coming. What do we do? KEI Look, can't we get the Ariake government involved? I know they're not a UG world, but surely they can't be happy with a criminal of Shasti's stature being there, especially with them still getting over Lord Robin. Maybe we could get them to impose an air-travel ban like on Bydon, and WHAT'S SO FUNNY??! [Rumiko stifles her laughter.] RUMIKO Ariake doesn't have a government, Kei. YURI You really should read the planetary datafiles more often. DARRYN It's a complete and total anarchy. There are three rules to follow when on Ariake: One, don't stay any longer than you have to. Two, if you have to leave the ship, go armed. Three, when leaving, check for stowaways. KEI Boy. Nice place. DARRYN Not only will we have to deal with Shasti and her gang, but any other punks who decide to take a shot at us. It could be a bumpy ride. KEI You know, I just had a weird thought. YURI [sarcastic] Oooh, that's a switch. [Kei shoots her a glare.] KEI Maybe this turn of events isn't so bad after all. I mean, once we get to Ariake, we'll have the whole planet to search. Maybe this solves our problem. Now we can let her come to us. RUMIKO Why would she do that? So far, she's seemed primarily interested in running away from us. YURI There's also that huge cruiser of hers to consider. She could just wipe us out altogether. KEI No, she won't! We have something she wants! [The others looked confused, then quickly brighten.] RUMIKO Yeaaahh. DARRYN Yuri, how badly damaged is the ship? YURI Not bad. The hull's a little stressed in spots, and the aft port thruster will need to be repaired, but it's nothing that'll keep us out of action. [Darryn shakes his head.] DARRYN No, you're mistaken. There's a serious problem with the warp stabilization system. [The bridge: Darryn talks to a disheveled, dirty man in his late middle-ages while the others look on.] DARRYN It needs to be fixed as soon as possible. Not that we don't enjoy your lovely planet. We just don't plan to stay. Think you can handle it, Ray? [Kei whispers to Rumiko.] KEI You guys come here often? RUMIKO The 3WA works for anyone who'll pay, remember? UG clients get priority, that's all. I think Darryn was here before I met him, though. He doesn't talk about it much. RAY [comm] Darryn, have I ever failed you? Bring your ship down, I'll fix her up. Oh--I'll be discreet, as usual. DARRYN Actually, I'd rather appreciate it if you weren't discreet. [Ray blinks.] RAY [comm] Are you serious? DARRYN Dead serious. RAY [comm] Damn. Darryn, I don't know what you're planning, but leave me out of it. The 3WA isn't too well liked here. If my clients found out I willingly repaired a 3WA ship-- DARRYN Who said you did it willingly? [Ray thinks it over.] RAY [comm] It'd cost you big time. DARRYN What would you say to two MacPherson MP-50 booster coils? KEI HEY! You can't--mmph! [Rumiko slaps a hand over her mouth.] RAY [comm] You mean the new ones? They aren't being released to the public until the end of the year! DARRYN That's them. RAY [comm] Sir, you have got yourself a deal. Bring 'er in! [The ship makes a vertical landing outside a large, but rusty and weatherbeaten hangar complex. "Complex" may be too complimentary a word, as it consists of the hangar surrounded by a junkyard. A man guides the ship into the hangar.] [Back on board the ship, Andrew argues with Yuri.] ANDREW So, I'm a prisoner on this ship? YURI Consider yourself lucky. You could be a prisoner on Elenore. In a real prison. ANDREW [sarcastic] Oh, yes, I'm *much* safer here, flying through asteroid fields and being shot at! DARRYN Let him go. YURI What?! DARRYN If we're lucky, he'll be killed by a mugger before we catch up with him. [Andrew swallows.] ANDREW I--I was just planning to walk around outside. [He leaves through the hatch.] DARRYN That should be all that's necessary. [Andrew walks out of the hangar, pausing to take a look at the _Lovely_ Angel_.] ANDREW I have to admit, she really is something to look at. [A mechanic strolls up behind him and casually sticks a gun in his back.] MECHANIC Even blink, and you're dead. [Andrew freezes.] Now, we're going to walk, calmly, over to my car over there, understand? [Andrew nods.] Good. The mistress wants to see you. [As they leave, Kei notices what's happening, but pretends she doesn't.] KEI [to herself] Yes! -- END STAGE SIX -- >>> NEXT >>> "These poor shitheads out there, they think she's the heir to Lord Robin. They're all walking dead people."