------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dirty Pair (and Company) in R E U N I O N S by Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Close your eyes, don't run and hide. Easy love's no easy ride. Just wakin' up to what we had Could stop good love from goin' bad. - Def Leppard: "Foolin'" ----------------- S T A G E T E N ----------------- > 09:10:00 [Shasti sleeps peacefully, curled up next to Andrew. Inside her mind, all is far from peaceful. Shasti's central mind and four sub-personalities sleep, as does Deirdre. LaCombe, however, remains wide awake, glowering at the others. Finally, he stands, walks to where the Warrior personality sleeps, and shakes her. Instantly, her hands are at his throat.] LACOMBE (whispering) H-Hey! Easy! WARRIOR What do you want? LACOMBE The same thing you want. An obstacle out of the way. And this is your chance. [The Warrior considers it.] WARRIOR The Central Mind will be very unhappy. LACOMBE You can handle her. I'll be there to back you up. We're protecting her from herself, understand? [The Warrior grins.] ------ [Shasti wakes. She looks at Andrew, her expression one of hatred and disgust. She picks up a pillow, and begins to lower it onto his face...] ------ [Deirdre wakes up.] DEIRDRE What the...? Oh, shit!! Hey! Hey, Shasti! Get up! [She shakes the Central Mind.] CENTRAL Mmmf... What's wrong--! HEY!! STOP IT!! STOP!!! ------ [Shasti blinks.] SHASTI What the hell am I doing--?! [She drops the pillow, her hands trembling.] Andy... [She holds him as tight as she can.] ANDREW Uhh? Ow! Shasti? SHASTI Sorry. [She loosens her grip.] ANDREW Are you okay? SHASTI Sure, I'm fine... No. No, I'm not. ANDREW What's wrong? SHASTI I'm having a little trouble holding myself together. This caper has been so stressful, then there's meeting you, and the new personality I absorbed-- ANDREW Whoa! Hold on! What's this about another personality? SHASTI Don't ask me why, but your friends forced me to interface with an AI chip containing the personality of my ex-partner, the one I killed. I automatically uploaded her before I could stop myself. ANDREW Can't you erase her? SHASTI Not without special equipment. I could surpress her, but I... I don't think I want to. And now my personalities are forming vastly different opinions on certain subjects. You especially. [suddenly angry:] You're really fucking up my life, you know that?! ANDREW (taken aback) Well, pardon me! SHASTI S-see, that's the type of thing I'm talking about. I didn't mean to say that. ANDREW It's alright. You just need to relax. There's only so much stress a mind can take, even one like yours. [Shasti turns to Andrew and smiles.] SHASTI Why don't we run away, just the two of us? ANDREW Now? SHASTI Of course not now, stupid. After I pull this caper off. ANDREW There's nothing I'd like more. I just don't think I could handle your lifestyle. [Shasti giggles.] SHASTI Trust me, Andrew. After this one, I won't need to commit another crime for the rest of my life. Except maybe for fun. ANDREW What exactly is this caper, anyway? SHASTI We're heisting a planetary treasury. ANDREW You're joking. SHASTI You remember Lord Robin? After the Dirty Pair killed him, the 3WA found out who he was. Turns out he was the leader of Serpiens Seven, a planet that destroyed itself in a nuclear war. He was funding his fleet with the planet's stockpile of precious metals. But get this: I did a little investigating, and Robin did most of his funding through investments. I estimate eighty percent of the treasury is still there. [Andrew gives a low whistle.] The problem is, the UG forces have the entire planet enclosed in a force field while they go over it with a fine-toothed comb. It's taken me over a year to design and execute a workable plan. [Shasti gets up and puts on her robe.] If we're on schedule, we'll be warping soon. I should be on the bridge. ANDREW I'll wait here. [Shasti smiles at the joke.] SHASTI Andy? ANDREW Yes? SHASTI Is there, like, a point of no return, beyond which it's impossible to be forgiven? ANDREW I'm not sure I understand. SHASTI I've done some bad things. Really bad. When you learn about them... ANDREW I already know about a lot of them. Shasti, they uploaded a sociopathic killer into your head. I won't lie, you still scare me. But after last night, I know that my Shasti is still in there somewhere. If you'll let me help you to bring her back, then I can forgive anything you did. SHASTI Th-thanks. I'll, uh, I'll consider it... [She leaves, locking the door behind her.] ------ LACOMBE You heard that!! He wants me gone! What am I supposed to do, just sit on my ass while people plot to kill me?! CENTRAL He didn't say that! LACOMBE You know damn well that's what he meant! CENTRAL I won't let anything happen to you! LACOMBE You said you'd "consider it"! CENTRAL I was just being polite! LACOMBE Damn it! I can't believe you'd do this to me! After all I've done for you! You! [He points at Deirdre.] You're the one who needs to be removed! DEIRDRE Hey, like, leave me out of this, okay?! LACOMBE You're the one who told her to talk to that jerk! I should've known you'd try something like this! SOCIAL PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING! [All turn to look at the Social Personality, who is near tears.] I can't take this anymore! Will you please stop fighting? Can't we just get along? Please? [The Central Mind looks down, ashamed. LaCombe continues to glare at Deirdre, who looks at the Social Personality, thoughtfully.] ------ > 09:45:00 > Ray's shop [Back in the hangar, the Lovely Angels continue to oversee the work on the _Lovely_Angel_. Kei rouses Yuri, who is taking a nap on the floor.] KEI Yo! Wake up! You've had your fifteen minutes. It's my turn! YURI Uuuhh, shit. [She stretches.] How's it going? KEI The welding on the wing's almost complete. The engine needs a few components swapped. They're fetching them now. YURI So how long before we can take off? KEI I dunno. Eight hours? [A beeping is heard. The girls immediately run over to a small receiving device set up nearby.] YURI This is it! It's the NightRiders! [A screen displays the message: "SERPIENS SEVEN" repeated dozens of times. Then there is a burst of static, and the screen goes blank.] YURI Oh, no... KEI What? What?! YURI That static burst. It was a warp signature. They're gone. KEI SHIT!! [She kicks at the air in frustration.] YURI Well, at least we know where they're going. We'll just have to arrive late. KEI Can't we warn the UG forces on Serpiens Seven? YURI As a last resort, sure. But Shasti'll pick up the signal. She'll change her plans again, and even worse, she'll wonder how we knew. KEI Instant death sentence for Darryn and Rumiko. YURI You got it. KEI Shit, shit, shit!! If only we could... [Kei's eyes light up.] There *is* a way! [She runs back to the _Lovely_Angel_.] YURI Kei? [She runs after her.] ------ > 10:05:00 > _Artemis_ [As Shasti walks through the corridors of the _Artemis_, she is accosted by a young man in an engineering outfit, carrying the case that holds the two field picks.] YOUNG MAN Miss Shasti! Miss Shasti! SHASTI Connor, isn't it? CONNOR (YOUNG MAN) Yes, ma'am! Do you have a moment? I have some great news! SHASTI Certainly! I always have time for my crew. [Shasti and Connor walk into a nearby equipment locker. Connor sets the case on a table, displaying the hole where the case was shot through by Syndicate gunmen, and opens it.] CONNOR Things were a little slow in engineering, so I'd thought I'd take a look at the field picks. I thought maybe I could fix the one that was damaged. But if you take a close look, you'll see that what looks like extensive damage is actually only cosmetic. Installing the device with its shape deformed will be a little tricky, but we can rig something up. It's really no problem! [Shasti picks up the device and examines it.] SHASTI Well, I'll be... CONNOR I told you it was great news! Now we won't have to go with our backup plan. I'll tell you, the thought of having to do a docking manuever in a gravity well with this behemoth was giving me the shakes. [Shasti puts the device back and smiles.] SHASTI Thank you, Connor. This is good news, indeed. CONNOR I knew you'd think so! [She puts an arm around Connor.] SHASTI (softly) You know, a bright young man like you can go far in my organization. [She strokes his ear with one finger.] Very far, if you catch my drift. [Connor blushes.] CONNOR Well, I, uh, heh, heh--!! [Shasti breaks his neck.] SHASTI (sigh) So much for my reformation. [She peers carefully out into the corridor, slings the body over her back, carries it to an airlock, opens the airlock, throws the body inside, closes the airlock, and hits "PURGE". She then activates an intercom.] Shasti to bridge! There's been a horrible accident! ------ > 10:10:00 > Ray's shop [Ray looks over the gravity-well compensator while Kei and Yuri look on.] KEI Well? Can we hook it up or can't we? RAY Don't really know what to tell you. I've never seen one of these things before. Never thought I would, actually. KEI Just answer the damn question! RAY Well, if I'm reading the markings right, hooking it up to your engines should be a snap. KEI and YURI YEAH! RAY Getting it to work without blowin' your ship apart, well, that's a different story. YURI I was afraid of that. RAY I think we can do it, though. We'd need to modify your engine so the power output is at a lower frequency. Engine efficiency would be compromised, but-- KEI Do it! How long? RAY Dunno. Two hours? YURI I'm not sure about this, Kei... KEI What's to be sure about? We hook this gizmo up to the _Lovely_Angel_'s warp generators, and then just warp right past Shasti into orbit around Serpiens Seven! She can't warp into a gravity well, so she'll have to take the long way in. How long did you say that was? YURI About two days. KEI Right! So by the time they get there, we'll have quietly tipped off the authorities, and together we'll ambush the crap out of them! And you say I never come up with any good plans! YURI Do you know how to operate the compensator? KEI Huh? Er, no. I was hoping you did. YURI (sarcastically) You're right, Kei. How silly of me to imply that you never think your plans through. I'll just read the owner's manual. Should be attached somewhere. KEI Well, if you're gonna get all cranky about it... ------ > 11:00:00 [Deirdre, dressed in civilian clothes, walks through the abstract void of Shasti's mind, reaching what appears to be a tasteful suburban house. She rings the doorbell.] SOCIAL Just a moment! [The door opens, revealing the Social Personality, in a sunny mood, and wearing a tasteful blue and white summer dress.] Deirdre! How nice of you to visit! Please come inside. [Deirdre enters and gazes about the tastefully decorated living room.] DEIRDRE Wow. Like, nice place you got. SOCIAL Thank you. Umm... [She stares at Deirdre's feet.] DEIRDRE Oh! Forgive me! [She removes her shoes and places them on a tiny shelf near the door.] SOCIAL You're so polite. That's one of the things I loved about you. Shall we have some tea? DEIRDRE Uh, sure. That would be, like, great. SOCIAL I was so excited when you said you wanted to talk to me. I spent all afternoon decorating! DEIRDRE You, like, created this place just for me? SOCIAL Well, it had been so long since I'd had company. [They sit at a small table, and the Social Personality pours tea from a kettle into two white bone china cups.] One lump or two? DEIRDRE One will be fine. [The Social Personality removes a sugar cube from a china sugar bowl with a pair of tongs and gently drops it into Deirdre's cup. She takes two lumps herself. The two women sip their tea.] DEIRDRE Shasti, I wanted to talk to you about... Say, this is *good*! SOCIAL I knew you'd like it. DEIRDRE You, like, certainly have vivid fantasies. SOCIAL One of the benefits of living in such an advanced brain. Now, what were you saying? DEIRDRE Well, I've, like, been here for awhile now. I feel pretty much accepted. SOCIAL Oh, you are! You're one of the family now! DEIRDRE Well, like, that just it. I don't think it's a very happy family. What do you think of LaCombe? SOCIAL Well, he's okay. A very... driven man. Knows what he wants. DEIRDRE Do you like him? SOCIAL I, um... Would you like more tea? DEIRDRE No, I'm fine. Shasti, I gotta be blunt. LaCombe's dangerous. I want to stop him, but I need your help. [The teacup the Social Personality holds begins shaking violently. Tea splatters on the table.] SOCIAL Oh! Oh, dear, look what I've done! I'll get something to clean it up. DEIRDRE No, it's alright--! SOCIAL I'll only be a moment! [The Social Personality disappears through a door and quickly returns with paper towels. She begins to soak up the spill.] DEIRDRE Will you help me? SOCIAL D-don't ask me that. Please don't. DEIRDRE But--! SOCIAL I couldn't do such a thing! Rebel against the others? DEIRDRE I'm not asking you to do that. Listen, you're, like, the only one I can turn to. The Central Mind is completely under LaCombe's spell. The Warrior likes him, because she gets to kill people. The Seductress likes him because she gets to use people. The Detective is pure logic. She, like, couldn't care one way or the other. But are you happy? [The Social Personality stops mopping.] SOCIAL No. No, I'm not. I hate him. [She sits back down, miserable.] I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It was so rude of me. DEIRDRE No, it's alright. SOCIAL It's just that, he almost never lets me make friends. I mean, that's all I'm good for, making other people feel comfortable around us and making friends. And when he does let me make friends... [She starts to sniffle.] He always makes us kill them! Like, there was this nice old lady. And they let me talk to her, pretending to be a college student. She was so nice. But as soon as her husband appeared, they made me leave and replaced me with the Warrior. And she did such... [She breaks down, sobbing.] SUCH AWFUL THINGS TO HER!! [Deirdre walks around the table and puts an arm around her.] DEIRDRE Now do you understand why we have to get rid of him? SOCIAL But how? What can I do? I can't fight. My only talent is being nice to people. DEIRDRE Isn't your job, like, to help Shasti fit into society and allow her to cultivate friendships and contacts? SOCIAL Yes. DEIRDRE Is she doing that? SOCIAL No. No, she's not! DEIRDRE All I'm asking is that you be, like, more forceful in stating your opinions. When Shasti is about to do something rude, let her know about it, in no uncertain terms! Like, they can't fault you for doing your duty, can they? [The Social Personality brightens up.] SOCIAL You're right! You're absolutely right! It is my duty! I'll do it! DEIRDRE Like, that's the spirit! SOCIAL Just one thing. DEIRDRE What? SOCIAL Could you please stay and talk with me for awhile? I really miss it. DEIRDRE Uh, sure. [She sits back down.] SOCIAL Tell me that story you used to tell about your cousin! ------ > 11:50:00 [Shasti enters Andrew's cell, carrying a toolcase.] SHASTI Hi, Andy. How are you feeling? ANDREW Oh, same as usual. SHASTI Not too scared, I hope. ANDREW Naah. The fear's died down to a general sense of dread. [Shasti looks concerned.] That was a joke. SHASTI Oh. Look, I have to talk to you. Tomorrow, we'll enter orbit around Serpiens Seven, and the operation will begin. You'll need to be off the ship when that happens. ANDREW Why? [Shasti smiles and gently taps him on the nose with her index finger.] SHASTI W-H-Y. That's a word you should delete from your vocabulary, Andy. The less you know, the less danger you'll be in. [She pulls a small piece of paper from her pocket.] I have some instructions here. Do you think you can memorize them? [Andrew looks at the paper and grimaces.] ANDREW You serious? SHASTI Don't worry, I've carefully thought it all through. As long as you follow these instructions, you should be able to make it to the hangar with no difficulties. [Andrew lets out a breath.] ANDREW Alright. I'll trust you. [Shasti shakes her head.] SHASTI No. Don't trust me, not yet. Just follow the instructions. ANDREW I understand. SHASTI Great. Destroy the paper when you've got it straight, okay? Now that we've gotten that out of the way... [She opens the toolcase and pulls out a bottle of champagne and two glasses.] ...I'd like to propose a toast. ANDREW What to? [Shasti pours two glasses and hands one to Andrew.] SHASTI Our future. ANDREW What kind of future? SHASTI Any kind. Even if it's just tomorrow. ANDREW Sounds good to me. [They touch glasses and drink.] So how's everyone taking your constant visits to me? I hope it's not causing any problems. SHASTI You're being "interrogated". Don't worry, my crew worships me. ANDREW I was thinking more about Paul. I thought the two of you were like this. [He crosses his fingers.] SHASTI Paul?! [She laughs.] Don't worry about him. We're just business partners. ANDREW I sort of got the feeling you slept with him. SHASTI I do. But it's just sex. ------ [Paul watches on a small wireless console in his quarters.] SHASTI Our relationship is strictly for our mutual financial benefit, and can be terminated when either side feels like it. I don't love him. ANDREW Well, I suppose that's a relief. SHASTI Allow me to illustrate how our relationship is different from the one I have with Paul. [She sets her glass down and slinks up to him.] [Paul snaps the monitor closed as the audio becomes a series of giggles and sighs. A sneer spreads across his face.] ------ > 12:10:00 [The _Lovely_Angel_ rockets into orbit. On the bridge, Kei, Yuri, and Mughi are strapped into their chairs.] KEI Did you set the coordinates? YURI Roger. We should warp into a high orbit around Serpiens Seven. KEI Okay. Then all we gotta do activate the warp generators. YURI Right. KEI Okay. YURI Let's do it. [Kei just sits there.] Well? KEI Gimme a moment, okay? YURI Hey, this is *your* plan! Why the cold feet? KEI If you're so anxious to go, you hit the switches! [Yuri grins sheepishly.] I thought so. Oh, what am I worrying about? I mean, it's just a compensator, right? It's not going to blow us to atoms, is it? YURI Well, if Ray was wrong about the power frequency-- KEI I'm looking for some encouragement here!! YURI Oh! Sorry! You're right, Kei! Everything's absolutely fine! KEI Good! Glad to hear it! [Kei takes a deep breath.] Here we go. [The _Lovely_Angel_ leaps forward into a kaleidescope of colors, bending past the ship, faster and faster. The colors dissolve into a series of rings that flash past the ship with increasing speed, until a strobing effect makes them appear to be moving in the opposite direction. Then they *are* moving in the opposite direction, converging to a spot of light in front of the ship, which grows and explodes. The light fades to show Serpiens Seven filling the entire field of view.] YURI OHMIGOD!! We're too close!! KEI Approaching planet at 2 kilometers per second!! WE'LL BURN UP!! YURI Heat shield, on! KEI Bringing the ship full around! YURI Main thrusters, on-line!! [The ship turns 180 degrees, as it continues to fall rapidly.] KEI Engaging full thrusters! [The _Lovely_Angel_'s main engines power up, applying braking force. Burning plasma forms a halo around the ship as it falls through its own exhaust.] KEI Speed reducing! 1500 meters per second! 1000! [Alarms go off.] SHIT!! ENGINES OVERHEATING! Deactivating auto-shutdown! [The ship streaks towards the surface, leaving a glowing trail behind it.] KEI 700 meters per second! 500! 300! 100! WHAT?! OH, NO!! [The ship's engines flicker and go out.] Losing power to thrusters! YURI We melted a conduit! KEI Speed at 90 meters per second and increasing! [She looks at Yuri in despair.] There's nothing I can do. YURI Oh, god. I'm so sorry, Kei. It's all my fault. [The ship plummets downward, disappearing behind a huge mountain. There is a horrific impact...] --- END STAGE TEN --- >>> NEXT >>> "Oh, god, not you. It can't be you."