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Asuka Soryu-Langley Answers Your Rhetorical Questions


Sometimes, when we run online polls, you, our Valued Customers, leave us questions in the comments field of your poll responses. While we love to answer questions, we sometimes can't send any response, because the person who asked us forgot to give us an email address. We can only interpret these questions as rhetorical, and yet, some of them are phrased in such a way that it seems obvious whoever wrote them wanted and expected an answer! It was quite a puzzle.

Well, gentle reader, if you're one of those forgetful individuals, waiting on tenterhooks, wondering why we haven't answered or at least acknowledged your thoughtful and insightful question, relief is at hand! The lovely and talented Miss Asuka Soryu-Langley, star of Neon Exodus Evangelion and idol of millions throughout the world, has graciously volunteered to take time out from her busy schedule and answer the questions we feared could not be answered. And so, without further delay, we present to you the answers to your rhetorical questions!


Q. I thought we were going for flan.

A. That's later, after dinner. Flan is a dessert, you know.

Q. Jackie Chan? Sure, I like him as well, but this??!!

A. Sure, why not? He's Shinji's hero. He probably won't turn up in NXE, though, if only because he's busy now with his own animated show, and then of course there's that script that's been kicking around Gryphon's desk for Jackie Chan in Wonderland...

Q. Dude, why the hell isn't Shaft on this poll?

A. Dude, 'cause he was in the next one.

Q. How is this fic any different from all the other Self-Insertion Go-and-boff-Asuka, woo-the ladies crap fics? *sigh*

A. Honestly, how dumb can you be? For starters, John isn't boffing me, he's boffing Maya. You can tell us apart, right? Maya's the cute brunette with a doctorate in engineering, I'm the gorgeous redhead with a bachelor's in astrophysics. I've heard rumors that she thinks I'm hot and wouldn't mind a three-way, but I think John would probably have a heart attack and die, and anyway I'm a one-man kind of girl. It's certainly flattering, though.

Q. What about the late Derek Bacon in a cameo role?

A. What about him indeed? That's not a bad idea! I'll have to send Director Gryphon a note about it.

Q. This is an outrage. Evangelion was not created to be run off into this garbage. It it [sic] dosent [sic] follow the eva principals [sic] of its true nature. Eva-r angered me at first but I grew to like it. What kind of crap artists do you have working for you. [sic]

A. Are you stupid? We don't have any kind of crap artists working for us. That should be obvious to even the most clueless observer: NXE isn't a dojinshi, it's a serial in prose. Honestly, some people...

Q. How about the [CLAMP School] student council all grown up, like in X? And why Duo? It should be Trowa- with his Japanese voice, of course.

A. Well, I think if the CLAMP School Student Council were grown-ups in 2016 they'd be running M.I.B., if not the entire civilized world, and we'd probably have seen them before now. :) As for Duo, he made the list because he's the only likeable character on the whole show. And he's cute, too. I should get DJ to grow out his hair like that...

Q. How about Hibiki Ryouga? "Excuse me, do you know the way to the Tendo household?"

A. Sorry, pal. Eyrie Productions is a "No Ranma or Dragonball" Zone. The only Hibiki with a chance of turning up in anything made here is Dan. (Note to Mr. Director: If you put him in the NXE movie, I will kill you.)

Q. Was T'skaia (Vorokoshiga'ar Ixtixtaaqitl't'chl'Vraihelt Ishkarat, of Symphony of the Sword fame) someone's Earthdawn Character?

A. No, but both Gryphon and Truss have played t'skrang in Earthdawn, and Juniper runs the campaign Truss plays in, so the meme is certainly present in the creative core of the series.


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version 3.3 © 2001
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Benjamin D. Hutchins
E P U (Colour)