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The Eyrie Productions Subterranean Vault of Oddities and Wonders

Hello and welcome to the Eyrie Productions Subterranean Vault of Oddities and Wonders! This state-of-the-art, climate-controlled facility, protected from natural disasters, wars, the harsh rays of the sun and all the various forces of decay, lies eleven miles beneath an undisclosed location on the surface of the Earth. Here, in hermetically sealed chambers capable of withstanding any known threat, Eyrie Productions safeguards the precious treasures and bizarre oddities that have shaped the past, present, and future of our collective realities.

Join our Chief Caretaker, Mr. Carroll P. "Smitty" Schmidt (that's him standing next to the main entrance to the Vault), as we delve into the Subterranean Vault of Oddities and Wonders and see what marvels the pristine chambers hold!

Preservation Chamber Number One: Got the Time

In this small antechamber is preserved the only known surviving story from Year One of Eyrie Productions, U.S. scholastic year 1991-92, that isn't part of Undocumented Features or Hopelessly Lost. It's a short side story from the Cyberpunk campaign ReRob Mandeville was running at WPI that year, which featured the toughest Trauma Team squad around: cyberdriver Gryphon and his semi-sentient supercar Maximilian the Deathmobile, Dave Ritchie's razorguy Carson D. Carson, and Erik "RoboSwimm" Swimm as Tycho, More Machine Than Man.

"Got the Time" was written to illustrate for the gaming group something that happened to Gryphon's avatar (note the slightly altered details in "his" pre-game-event life history - born in 1996 instead of 1973, for example) during the gap between two play sessions. It was intended to be the first of several stories chronicling parts of the campaign, but although the campaign finished with a terrific climax and a great time was had by all, none of the other parts ever got done.

An interesting historical footnote: Though this story is a Cyberpunk piece, the rec.arts.anime.creative archive has it filed as a Dirty Pair fanfic thanks to the presence of a character named Carson D. Carson (who wasn't actually based on the character from Project EDEN, just named after him) and Cory Emerson, a character borrowed from the Dark Horse Dirty Pair miniseries "A Plague of Angels" and the only thing about Adam Warren's Dirty Pair that Gryphon ever liked.

Preservation Chamber Number Two: Major Delivery

Another short Eyrie one-off based on an RPG, "Major Delivery" was intended as a prequel and character introduction for Zachiel, the angel masquerading as a pizza deliveryman and surf-rock bandleader who Gryphon planned to play in an In Nomine campaign briefly threatened several years ago by Truss. The campaign never materialized, but Zach has gone on to make a cameo appearance in an NXE Bonus Theater!! segment and become an occasional supporting character in the Symphony of the Sword series. He will, no doubt, show up from time to time in other Eyrie Productions.

Also preserved here in Chamber No. 2 is Zachiel's Fender Telecaster guitar.

Preservation Chamber Number Three: The Wizard of WACCC

Chamber #3 contains a very, very special artifact whose fossilized remains were recently discovered deep within the Earth's crust by a specialized team of GweepCo explorers. It's Rob Mandeville and Rob Crocker's original "The Wizard of WACCC", the 1990 story to which Undocumented Features is a meta-sequel. Stripped of its OCR-reconstruction-induced typographical errors by ReRob himself and presented in otherwise-unaltered condition, here it is for the historically curious.

Preservation Chamber Number Four: Internet

Here is a poem Gryphon wrote, late one night, about the Internet.

Preservation Chamber Number Five: Robot Girl

This chamber contains Gryphon's first publicly-available attempt at a filk, in this case of the classic Dead Milkmen song "Punk Rock Girl". It was inspired by R. Dorothy Wayneright of The Big O, but it isn't actually about her, so don't worry about spoilers for the series.

Preservation Chamber Number Six: Eyrie Productions Destroys the Marvel Universe

A flashback to the earliest days of Gryphon's fanfiction career, before he knew what it was called. The very first G-avatar, Donald E. Griffin, was the character Gryphon played in a Marvel Super Heroes RPG campaign back in high school. Five years in the making, here's his introduction to modern Eyrie fans at last.

Also, for the truly detail-oriented reader, we have a couple of silly little MP3 files of the sound effects Don's TARDIS makes when it dematerializes and materializes. (What the hell, Gryphon was bored that day.)

Preservation Chamber Number Seven: City of Heroes: Starting Over

A short story that barged out of Gryphon's head one day when he should have been working, this is the origin story (in a way) of one of his characters in the multiplayer online game City of Heroes.

That's all we can show you at the present time. Please don't hesitate to check back again at any time - you never know when we might open another of our chambers to the wondering eyes of the public. And don't forget to stop by our subterranean gift shop on your way back to the elevator!

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version 3.3 © 2001
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Benjamin D. Hutchins
E P U (Colour)